Essentials in Business Communication

Mary EllenGuffey’s E S S E N T I A L S

O F

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 7

EDITION

MARY ELLEN GUFFEY Professor of Business Emerita Los Angeles Pierce College • CAROLYN M. SEEFER, Contributing Editor Professor of Business, Diablo Valley College

Essentials of Business Communication, Seventh Edition Mary Ellen Guffey

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Dear Business Comm unication Students: As we release the Seve nth Edition of Essentials of Business Communication, I mu st confess that this is the best edition yet! Essentials continues to provide a cost-effective three-in-one learning package: (1) au thoritative textbook, (2) practical workbook, and (3) self-teaching gra mmar/mechanics hand book. I’m particularly excited about this edition beca use it brings you valuable workplace inform ation. Let me describe a few of this edition’s unparalleled fea tures: 䉴

Increased Emphasis on Professionalism. Co ntent in every chapter develop oral, written, an helps you d nonverbal skills that make you sound and loo as well as promotable. k credible 䉴 Enhanced Co verage of Communica tion Technologies. Th demonstrates how the e Seventh Edition world of work is being changed by IP telepho intranets, wireless netw ny, company orks, Wi-Fi, voice recog nition, videoconferencin technology, and many g, presence other advances. 䉴 Strengthened Grammar/Mechanics Review Materials. Ne Checkups in the textbo w Grammar/Mechanic ok, as well as new dig s ital Advanced Gramma Checkups and “Your Pe r/Mechanics rsonal Language Traine r,” help you revive rusty textbook provides a be skills. No other tter grammar/mechanics review program using print to build confidenc bo th digital and e and skills. 䉴 New Writing Co ach Feature. A step-b y-step demonstration of e-mails, memos, and let the composition of ters shows you how to compose and revise me 䉴 Expanded Co verage of Résumés. Ne ssages. w model documents em qualifications and new ph as ize a summary of cover letters. You also learn how to optimize today’s technologies. your résumé for

Student Preface

Essentials provides ev en more support mater ials so that you leave thi and fully prepared with s course confident marketable skills. As on e of the most accessible authors in the field, I am and responsive eager to learn whether you agree that this is the best edition yet! Cordially,

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Get Prepared. . . Mary Ellen Guffey’s Essentials of Business Communication has helped countless students prepare for success in today’s technology-driven workplace. The Seventh Edition of this award-winning text contains the instruction you need for business communication success, with practice opportunities in every chapter to help you hone your skills.

Improve Your Writing and Grammar Skills… Guffey’s textbook/workbook/handbook format teaches writing skills while reviewing and reinforcing your basic grammar and mechanics skills. Writing Plans and Writing Improvement Exercises Clear step-by-step writing plans structure the assignments so that novice writers can get started quickly and stay focused on the writing experience – without struggling to provide unknown details to unfamiliar, hypothetical cases.

Student Preface

䉳 Writing Coach This new step-by-step demonstration of the writing process shows you how to write and revise e-mails, memos, and letters using a brief case, writing instructions, and before-and-after documents.

䉳 Emphasis on Grammar and Mechanics Throughout the text, you will be encouraged to build on your basic grammar skills. Grammar/Mechanics Checkups, Grammar/Mechanics Challenges, and chapter discussions keep you in practice. Plus…Your Personal Language Trainer, a selfteaching grammar/mechanics review included in Guffey Xtra!, helps to further enhance language skills.

…with Time-tested Learning Tools 䉴 Model Documents Before-and-after sample documents and descriptive callouts are a road map to the writing process, demonstrating for you the effective use of the skills being taught, as well as the significance of the revision process in writing.

䉳 End-of-Chapter Concepts are translated into action, as you try out your skills in activities designed to mirror “real-world” experiences.

Student Preface

䉴 Communication Workshops Communication workshops develop critical thinking skills and provide insight into special business communication topics such as ethics, technology, career skills, and collaboration.

Contemporary Content for the Technology-Driven Student

Student Preface

Videoconferencing, résumé scanning, IP telephony (VoIP), e-mail strategies, Web researching, and blogging… they’re all covered here. Essentials of Business Communication explores how technology has changed the world of work. Discussions of these technologies are integrated into relevant chapters and become part of end-of-chapter activities so you can hit the ground running when you enter today’s digital workplace. Technology discussions encompass the latest information on: 䉴 Voice, Web, and videoconferencing 䉴 Electronic presentations 䉴 Instant messaging and other wireless technologies 䉴 E-mail techniques, etiquette, risks, and tips 䉴 Electronic networking, job boards, and job-searching advice

See this two-page figure in Chapter 1.

“Guffey seems to have her hands on the pulse of not only what is currently needed by students and instructors, but is looking toward what might be needed in the future. I think this is what has always made her textbooks seem more current than some of the other texts out there.” Sheryl E. C. Joshua, University of North Carolina, Greensboro

Real Advice for Succeeding in the Job Market You will use these skills in the real world. Essentials of Business Communication offers practical advice and models that you can understand and adapt to your needs. More emphasis is placed on job-search technology and résumé preparation, including a discussion of online job boards and the reality that few candidates actually find jobs online. Inside you’ll find: 䉴 Résumés in three forms: traditional print-based résumés, scannable résumés, and embedded résumés for today’s technologies. 䉴 New “Summary of Qualifications” for a résumé immediately reveals a candidate’s fit for a position. 䉴 E-portfolios and digitized materials provide a snapshot of a candidate’s performance, talents, and accomplishments. 䉴 Social online networking with specific Web sites to visit to aid in networking and the job search. 䉴 Updated section about hiring and placement interviews with discussion of group interviews and panel, sequential, and stress interviews.

Student Preface

Guffey demonstrates how significant professionalism is to overall business communication endeavors. Coverage of professional workplace behavior has been enhanced in this edition with cues on how to act in business social situations. In this edition: 䉴 Etiquette tips for leaders and participants to help them act appropriately and professionally in meetings. 䉴 Telephone etiquette tips including how to handle calls professionally, courteously, and effectively. 䉴 Enhanced coverage of the importance of professionalism when giving oral presentations, with added information about dressing professionally. 䉴 A section on creating professional visual aids that add value to a presentation so that you will learn how to highlight main ideas, ensure visibility, enhance comprehension, and exemplify professionalism when designing and using visual aids.

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Technology Tools That Inform, Educate, and Entertain The book is just the beginning. Make the grade and improve your tech knowledge with Guffey’s online resources and technology support. Guffey Xtra! Guffey Xtra! is an online study assistant that includes the following features: 䉴

Your Personal Language Trainer is a cutting-edge self-teaching online tool that enables you to review an entire business English course, including grammar, punctuation, capitalization, and number style. Instead of using valuable class time to teach grammar, instructors can rely on Dr. Guffey to act as a personal trainer in helping students pump up their language muscles. Your Personal Language Trainer provides hundreds of sentence reinforcement exercises with immediate feedback and explanations for the best comprehension and retention.

Companion Web Site http://guffey.swlearning.com 䉴 Chapter Review Quizzes reinforce chapter concepts, testing your knowledge and preparing you for exams. 䉴 Flash Cards and Key Terms build vocabulary skills while reviewing text material. 䉴 Business Etiquette Guide teaches basic business etiquette and workplace manners. 䉴 Listening Quiz pinpoints listening strengths and weaknesses in interactive exercises. 䉴 APA and MLA Citation Formats help you correctly cite business references. 䉴 Writing Help links to the best college and university online writing labs.

InfoTrac® College Edition With InfoTrac College Edition, you can receive complete, 24-hour-a-day access to over 18 million full-text articles from thousands of journals, popular periodicals, and newspapers such as Newsweek, Time, The New York Times, and USA Today.

Student Preface

Note: Access to Guffey Xtra! and InfoTrac® College Edition may come packaged with your new text if your instructor has ordered it. If not, you may purchase these online resources through 1Pass access at http://www.thomsonedu.com.

䉴䉴䉴䉴䉴䉴䉴

Student version PowerPoint slides Bonus chapters Speak Right! and Spell Right! practice activities Sentence Competency exercises Grammar/Mechanics Challenge exercises Advanced Grammar/Mechanics Challenge exercises Business Report topics “This book is great! It will be going to work with me as a reference book. The interactive quizzes are wonderful. What a great way to review for tests! My instructor recommended your site, and I’m very glad she did.” Deanna Jokinen, student, Dakota County Technical College

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UNIT 1

UNIT 6

LAYING COMMUNICATION FOUNDATIONS 1 1 Building Your Career Success

COMMUNICATING FOR EMPLOYMENT 375 13 The Job Search, Résumés, and Cover

With Communication Skills 2

Letters 376

14 Employment Interviewing and

UNIT 2 THE WRITING PROCESS 31 2 Creating Business Messages 32 3 Improving Writing Techniques 56 4 Revising and Proofreading Business Messages 80

UNIT 3 CORRESPONDING AT WORK 97 5 E-Mail and Memorandums 98 6 Direct Letters and Goodwill Messages 134

7 Persuasive Messages 172 8 Negative Messages 201

Follow-Up Messages 419

Appendix A Reference Guide to Document Formats A-1 Appendix B InSite Correction Symbols and Proofreading Marks A-13 Appendix C Documentation Formats A-16 Grammar/Mechanics Handbook GM-1 Key to Grammar/Mechanics Checkups K-1 Endnotes N-1 Index I-1

UNIT 4 REPORTING WORKPLACE DATA 237 9 Informal Reports 238 10 Proposals and Formal Reports 267

UNIT 5 DEVELOPING SPEAKING AND TECHNOLOGY SKILLS 315 11 Communicating in Person, in Meetings, by Telephone, and Digitally 316

12 Making Effective and Professional Oral Presentations 344

Brief Contents

UNIT 1 LAYING COMMUNICATION FOUNDATIONS 1 1 Building Your Career Success With Communication Skills 2

Expand Your Learning With These Bonus Resources! 23 InfoTrac College Edition 23 Activities and Cases 23 Video Resources 26 Career Success Starts With Communication Foundations 27 Erasing Stereotypes: Zubi Advertising 27 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 27 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 28 Communication Workshop: Technology Using Job Boards to Learn About Employment Possibilities in Your Field 29

The Importance of Communication Skills to Your Career 2 Examining the Communication Process 8 Developing Better Listening Skills 9 Improving Your Nonverbal Communication Skills 12 Understanding How Culture Affects Communication 15 Capitalizing on Workforce Diversity 18 Summing Up and Looking Forward 21 Critical Thinking 21 Chapter Review 21

UNIT 2 THE WRITING PROCESS 31 2 Creating Business Messages 32 The Basics of Business Writing 32 The Writing Process for Business Messages and Oral Presentations 33 Analyzing the Purpose and the Audience 35 Anticipating the Audience 37 Adapting to the Task and Audience 38 Technology Improves Your Business Writing 46 Summing Up and Looking Forward 47 Critical Thinking 47 Chapter Review 47 Expand Your Learning With These Bonus Resources! 49 Writing Improvement Exercises 49 Activity 52 Video Resource 52 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 52 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 53 Communication Workshop: Career Skills Sharpening Your Skills for Critical Thinking, Problem Solving, and Decision Making 54

3 Improving Writing Techniques 56 Researching to Collect Needed Information 56 Organizing to Show Relationships 58

Writing Effective Sentences 61 Improving Writing Techniques 63 Striving for Paragraph Coherence 68 Composing the First Draft 69 Summing Up and Looking Forward 70 Critical Thinking 70 Chapter Review 70 Expand Your Learning With These Bonus Resources! 71 Writing Improvement Exercises 72 Activity 76 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 76 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 77 Communication Workshop: Ethics Using Ethical Tools to Help You Do the Right Thing 78

4 Revising and Proofreading Business Messages 80 Understanding the Process of Revision 80 Concise Wording 81 Understanding the Process of Proofreading 87 Summing Up and Looking Forward 89 Critical Thinking 89 Contents

Contents

Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 94 Communication Workshop: Technology Using Word’s Track Changes and Comment Features to Edit and Revise Documents 95

Chapter Review 89 Writing Improvement Exercises 90 Activity 93 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 93

UNIT 3 CORRESPONDING AT WORK 97 5 E-Mail and Memorandums 98 Applying the Writing Process to Produce Effective E-Mail Messages and Memos 98 Analyzing the Structure and Format of E-Mail Messages and Memos 101 Using E-Mail Smartly and Safely 107 Writing Information and Procedure E-Mail Messages and Memos 112 Writing Request and Reply E-Mail Messages and Memos 114 Summing Up and Looking Forward 116 Critical Thinking 116 Chapter Review 117 Writing Improvement Exercises 118 Writing Coach—Request E-Mail 120 Writing Improvement Cases 122 Activities and Cases 124 Video Resources: Smart E-Mail Messages and Memos Advance Your Career 129 Innovation, Learning, and Communication: A Study of Yahoo 129 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 130 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 131 Communication Workshop: Ethics Whose Computer Is It Anyway? 132

6 Direct Letters and Goodwill Messages 134 Writing Effective Direct Business Letters 134 Direct Requests for Information and Action 135 Direct Claims 137 Replies to Information Requests 140 Adjustment Letters 141 Letters of Recommendation 146 Writing Winning Goodwill Messages 149 Summing Up and Looking Forward 152 Critical Thinking 152 Chapter Review 152 Writing Improvement Exercises 153 Writing Coach—Direct Request Letter 156 Writing Improvement Cases 158 Activities and Cases 160

Video Resources: Social Responsibility and Communication: Ben & Jerry’s 167 MeetingsAmerica 167 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 168 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 169 Communication Workshop: Career Skills Dr. Guffey’s Guide to Business Etiquette and Workplace Manners 170

7 Persuasive Messages 172 Persuasive Requests 172 Crafting Winning Sales Letters 179 Summing Up and Looking Forward 184 Critical Thinking 184 Chapter Review 185 Writing Coach—Favor Request 186 Writing Improvement Exercises 188 Writing Improvement Cases 189 Activities and Cases 190 Video Resource: Persuasion and Profitability: World Gym 196 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 196 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 198 Communication Workshop: Ethics Making Sure Your Sales Letters Are Legal 199

8 Negative Messages 201 Strategies for Delivering Bad News 201 Techniques for Delivering Bad News Sensitively 205 Refusing Routine Requests and Claims 210 Breaking Bad News to Customers 213 Breaking Bad News to Employees 217 Ethics and the Indirect Strategy 218 Summing Up and Looking Forward 220 Critical Thinking 220 Chapter Review 220 Writing Improvement Exercises 221 Writing Improvement Cases 223 Writing Coach—Refusing a Favor Request 224 Activities and Cases 227

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Contents

Communication Workshop: Multicultural Issues Presenting Bad News in Other Cultures 236

Video Resource: Negative News: DawnSign Press 233 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 234 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 235

UNIT 4 REPORTING WORKPLACE DATA 237 9 Informal Reports 238

10 Proposals and Formal Reports 267

Understanding Report Basics 239 Guidelines for Developing Informal Reports 243 Six Kinds of Informal Reports 248 Information Reports 249 Progress Reports 249 Justification/Recommendation Reports 251 Feasibility Reports 253 Minutes of Meetings 254 Summaries 255 Summing Up and Looking Forward 257 Critical Thinking 257 Chapter Review 257 Writing Improvement Exercises 259 Activities and Cases 259 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 263 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 264 Communication Workshop: Collaboration Laying the Groundwork for Team Writing Projects 265

Understanding Business Proposals 267 Informal Proposals 268 Formal Proposals 272 Preparing to Write Formal Reports 272 Researching Secondary Data 273 Generating Primary Data 276 Documenting Data 278 Organizing and Outlining Data 280 Illustrating Data 283 Presenting the Final Report 290 Summing Up and Looking Forward 302 Critical Thinking 302 Chapter Review 302 Activities and Cases 304 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 311 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 312 Communication Workshop: Technology Trash or Treasure: Assessing the Quality of Web Documents 313

UNIT 5 DEVELOPING SPEAKING AND TECHNOLOGY SKILLS 315 11 Communicating in Person, in Meetings, by Telephone, and Digitally 316 Improving Face-to-Face Workplace Communication 317 Planning and Participating in Productive Business and Professional Meetings 322 Improving Telephone, Cell Phone, and Voice Mail Skills 328 Other Digital Communication Tools in the Workplace 333 Summing Up and Looking Forward 335 Critical Thinking 335 Chapter Review 336 Activities and Cases 337 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 340 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 341 Communication Workshop: Career Skills Eight Steps to Resolving Workplace Conflicts 342

12 Making Effective and Professional Oral Presentations 344 Getting Ready for an Oral Presentation 345 Organizing Content for a Powerful Impact 347 How the Best Speakers Build Audience Rapport 351 Planning Visual Aids 353 Designing an Impressive Multimedia Presentation 355 Polishing Your Delivery and Following Up 361 Adapting to International and Cross-Cultural Audiences 365 Summing Up and Looking Forward 366 Critical Thinking 366 Chapter Review 367 Activities and Cases 368 Video Resource: Effective On-the-Job Presentations 371 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 371 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 372 Communication Workshop: Collaboration Techniques for Taking Part in Effective and Professional Team Presentations 373

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Contents

UNIT 6 COMMUNICATING FOR EMPLOYMENT 375 13 The Job Search, Résumés, and Cover Letters 376 Preparing for Employment 376 The Persuasive Résumé 383 Optimizing Your Résumé for Today’s Technologies 396 Applying the Final Touches to Your Résumé 400 The Persuasive Cover Letter 403 Summing Up and Looking Forward 409 Critical Thinking 409 Chapter Review 410 Writing Improvement Cases 411 Activities and Cases 413 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 415 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 416 Communication Workshop: Career Skills Network Your Way to a Job in the Hidden Market 417

14 Employment Interviewing and Follow-Up Messages 419 Types of Employment Interviews 420 Before the Interview 422 On the Day of Your Interview 425 During the Interview 427 Closing the Interview 435 After the Interview 436

Other Employment Letters and Documents 439 Summing Up and Looking Forward 442 Critical Thinking 442 Chapter Review 442 Activities and Cases 444 Video Resource: Sharpening Your Interview Skills 448 Grammar/Mechanics Checkup—Punctuation Review 448 Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 450 Communication Workshop: Career Skills Let’s Talk Money: Negotiating a Salary 451

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A dedicated professional, Mary Ellen Guffey has taught business communication and business English topics for over thirty years. She received a bachelor’s degree, summa cum laude, from Bowling Green State University; a master’s degree from the University of Illinois, and a doctorate in business and economic education from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA). She has taught at the University of Illinois, Santa Monica College, and Los Angeles Pierce College. Now recognized as the world’s leading business communication author, Dr. Guffey corresponds with instructors around the globe who are using her books. She is the author of the award-winning Business Communication: Process and Product, the leading business communication textbook in this country and abroad. She has also written Business English, which serves more students than any other book in its field; Essentials of College English, (with Carolyn M. Seefer), and Essentials of Business Communication, the leading text/workbook in its market. Essentials of Business Communication recently received an award of excellence from the Text and Academic Authors Association. The Canadian editions of her books are bestsellers in that country; one was named Book of the Year by Nelson Canada. Dr. Guffey is active professionally, serving on the review board of the Business Communication Quarterly of the Association for Business Communication, participating in all national meetings, and sponsoring business communication awards. A teacher’s teacher and leader in the field, Dr. Guffey acts as a partner and mentor to hundreds of business communication instructors nationally and internationally. Her workshops, seminars, teleconferences, newsletters, articles, teaching materials, and Web sites help novice and veteran business communication instructors achieve effective results in their courses. She maintains comprehensive Web sites for students and instructors. Her print and online newsletters are used by thousands of instructors in this country and around the world.

About the Author

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LAYING COMMUNICATION FOUNDATIONS

CHAPTER 1

Building Your Career Success With Communication Skills

If I went back to college again, I’d concentrate on two areas: learning to write and to speak before an audience. Nothing in

OBJECTIVES

life is more important than

• Understand the importance of becoming an effective and professional communicator in today’s changing workplace.

the ability to communicate

• Examine the process of communication.

effectively.

”

Gerald R. Ford, 38th President of the United States

• Discuss how to become an effective listener. • Analyze nonverbal communication and explain techniques for improving nonverbal communication skills. • Explain how culture affects communication, and describe methods for improving cross-cultural communication. • Identify specific techniques that improve effective communication among diverse workplace audiences.

THE IMPORTANCE OF COMMUNICATION SKILLS TO YOUR CAREER

Communication skills are critical to your job placement, performance, career advancement, and organizational success.

Three decades ago when he was president, Gerald Ford spoke about the importance of communication skills. If he had a second chance at college, he said, he’d concentrate on learning to write and learning to speak. Today, communication is even more important and more challenging than in President Ford’s time. We live in an information age that revolves around communication. Developing excellent communication skills is extremely important to your future career. Surveys of employers often show that communication skills are critical to effective job placement, performance, career advancement, and organizational success.1 In making hiring decisions, employers often rank communication skills among the most requested competencies. Many job advertisements specifically ask for excellent oral and written communication skills. In a poll of recruiters, oral and written communication skills were by a large margin the top skill set sought in applicants.2 Another survey of managers and executives ranked the skills most lacking in job candidates, and writing skills topped that list.3

PHOTOS: © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS; © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS; © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS

“

BUILDING YOUR CAREER SUCCESS WITH COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Chapter 1

Building Your Career Success With Communication Skills

Communication skills consistently rank near the top of competencies sought by recruiters. Because more and more messages are being sent, writing skills are particularly important to succeed in first jobs and to be promoted into management.

Writing Skills and Professionalism Lead to Success Advancements in technology mean that writing skills are increasingly important because more messages are being exchanged.

Businesses don’t want spellbinding storytellers; they want people who can write clearly and concisely.

Writing skills are particularly important today because technological advances enable us to transmit messages more rapidly, more often, and to greater numbers of people than ever before. Writing skills, which were always a career advantage, are now a necessity.4 They can be your ticket to work—or your ticket out the door, according to a business executive responding to a recent survey. This survey of 120 American corporations, by the National Commission on Writing, a panel established by the College Board, found that two thirds of salaried employees have some writing responsibility. Yet, about one third of them do not meet the writing requirements for their positions.5 “Businesses are crying out—they need to have people who write better,” said Gaston Caperton, executive and College Board president. The ability to write opens doors to professional employment. People who cannot write and communicate clearly will not be hired. If already working, they are unlikely to last long enough to be considered for promotion. Writing is a marker of high-skill, high-wage, professional work, according to Bob Kerrey, president of New School University in New York and chair of the National Commission on Writing. If you can’t express yourself clearly, he says, you limit your opportunities for salaried positions.6 But writing skills are also important for nonsalaried workers such as electricians, engineers, technicians, and supervisors, who must create reports for government agencies and regulatory bodies. Even hourly workers must be able to communicate to exchange messages. Lamenting the sorry state of business writing skills, a front-page article in The New York Times announced, “What Corporate America Can’t Build: A Sentence.” Quoted in the article, Susan Traiman, a director of the Business Roundtable, an association of leading chief executives, said, “It’s not that companies want to hire Tolstoy.”7 They aren’t seeking spellbinding authors; they just want people who can write clearly and concisely. Because so many lack these skills, businesses are spending as much as $3.1 billion annually on remedial training. In addition to expecting employees to write clearly, businesses expect employees to act in a businesslike and professional manner on the job. Some new-hires

Unit 1

Laying Communication Foundations

have no idea that excessive absenteeism or tardiness are grounds for termination. Others are surprised to learn that they are expected to devote their full attention to their duties when on the job. One young man wanted to read Harry Potter novels when things got slow. Even more employees don’t realize that they are sabotaging their careers when they sprinkle their conversation with like, you know, and uptalk (making declarative statements sound like questions). Companies are reluctant to promote people into management who do not look or sound credible. Figure 1.1 reviews six areas you will want to check to be sure you are not sending the wrong message with unwitting or unprofessional behavior.

FIGURE 1.1

Projecting Professionalism When You Communicate Unprofessional

Professional

Speech habits

Speaking in uptalk, a singsong speech pattern that has a rising inflection making sentences sound like questions. Using like to fill in mindless chatter, substituting go for said, relying on slang, or letting profanity slip into your conversation.

Recognizing that your credibility can be seriously damaged by sounding uneducated, crude, or like a teenager.

E-mail

Writing messages with incomplete sentences, misspelled words, exclamation points, IM slang, and mindless chatting. Sloppy, careless messages send a nonverbal message that you don’t care, don’t know, or aren’t smart enough to know what is correct.

Employers like to see subjects, verbs, and punctuation marks. They don’t recognize IM abbreviations. Call it crazy, but they value conciseness and correct spelling, even in brief e-mail messages.

Internet

Using an e-mail address such as [emailprotected], supasnugglykitty.yahoo.com, or [emailprotected].

An e-mail address that is your name or a relevant, positive, businesslike expression. It should not sound cute or like a chat room nickname.

Answering machine/ voice mail

An outgoing message with strident background music, weird sounds, or a joke message.

An outgoing message that states your name or phone number and provides instructions for leaving a message.

Telephone

Soap operas, thunderous music, or a TV football game playing noisily in the background when you answer the phone.

A quiet background when you answer the telephone, especially if you are expecting a prospective employer’s call.

Cell phone

Taking or placing cell phone calls during business meetings or during conversations with fellow employees. Raising your voice (cell yell) or engaging in cell calls when others must reluctantly overhear.

Never letting a cell phone interrupt business meetings. Using your cell only when conversations can be private.

Chapter 1

Building Your Career Success With Communication Skills

Using This Book to Build Career Communication Skills Because communication skills are learned, you control how well you communicate.

Developing career-boosting communication skills requires instruction, practice, and feedback from a specialist.

This book and this course might well be the most important in your entire college career.

This book focuses on developing basic writing skills. You will, however, also learn to improve your listening, nonverbal, and speaking skills. The abilities to read, listen, speak, and write effectively, of course, are not inborn. When it comes to communication, it’s more nurture than nature. Good communicators are not born; they are made. Thriving in the dynamic and demanding new world of work will depend on many factors, some of which you cannot control. One factor that you do control, however, is how well you communicate. The goal of this book is to teach you basic business communication skills. These include learning how to write an e-mail, letter, or report and how to make a presentation. Anyone can learn these skills with the help of instructional materials and good model documents, all of which you’ll find in this book. You also need practice—with meaningful feedback. You need someone such as your instructor to tell you how to modify your responses so that you can improve. We’ve designed this book, its supplements, and two Web sites (http://guffeyxtra .swlearning.com and http://guffey.swlearning.com) to provide you and your instructor with everything necessary to make you a successful business communicator in today’s dynamic but demanding workplace. Given the increasing emphasis on communication, many businesses are paying huge sums to communication coaches and trainers to teach employees the very skills that you are learning in this course. Your coach is your instructor. So, get your money’s worth! Pick your instructor’s brains. With this book as your guide and your instructor as your coach, you may find this course to be the most important in your entire college curriculum. To get started, this first chapter presents an overview. You’ll take a quick look at the changing workplace, the communication process, listening, nonverbal communication, culture and communication, and workplace diversity. The remainder of the book is devoted to developing specific writing and speaking skills.

Succeeding in the Changing World of Work Trends in the new world of work emphasize the importance of communication skills.

Today’s employees must contribute to improving productivity and profitability.

The world of work is changing dramatically. The kind of work you’ll do, the tools you’ll use, the form of management you’ll work under, the environment in which you’ll work, the people with whom you’ll interact—all are undergoing a pronounced transformation. Many of the changes in this dynamic workplace revolve around processing and communicating information. As a result, the most successful players in this new world of work will be those with highly developed communication skills. The following business trends illustrate the importance of excellent communication skills. • Flattened management hierarchies. To better compete and to reduce expenses, businesses have for years been trimming layers of management. This means that as a frontline employee, you will have fewer managers. You will be making decisions and communicating them to customers, to fellow employees, and to executives. • More participatory management. Gone are the days of command-and-control management. Now, even new employees like you will be expected to understand and contribute to the big picture. Improving productivity and profitability will be everyone’s job, not just management’s. • Increased emphasis on self-directed work groups and virtual teams. Businesses today are often run by cross-functional teams of peers. You can expect to work with a team in gathering information, finding and sharing solutions, implementing decisions, and managing conflict. You may even become part of a virtual team whose members are in remote locations and who communicate almost exclusively electronically. Good communication skills are extremely important in working together successfully in all team environments, especially if members do not meet face-to-face.

FIGURE 1.2

Communication Technologies

Reshaping the World of Work

Today’s workplace is changing dramatically as a result of innovative software, superfast wireless networks, and numerous technologies that allow workers to share information, work from remote locations, and be more efficient and productive in or away from the office. We're seeing a gradual progression from basic capabilities, such as e-mail and calendaring, to deeper functionality, such as remote database access and worldwide videoconferencing. Becoming familiar with modern workplace and collaboration technologies can help you be successful in today's digital workplace.

IP Telephony: VoIP

Wireless Networks and Wi-Fi

Savvy businesses are switching from traditional phone service to Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP). This technology allows callers to make telephone calls using a broadband Internet connection, thus eliminating long-distance and local telephone charges.

No longer are computers and workers chained to their desks. Wireless networks use radio waves to send signals and connect to the Internet. Combined with high-speed broadband connections, these networks have fueled the increasing use of laptop computers and portable devices. Public Wi-Fi (Wireless Fidelity) “hot spots” provide free connections that further expand the range of laptops, PDAs (personal digital assistants), and handheld devices such as the BlackBerry and the Treo. Wireless networks enable business communicators to work anywhere, anytime, and still remain connected to office e-mail, company files, and programs such as Word and Excel.

Company Intranets To share insider information, many companies provide their own protected Web site called an intranet. It may handle company e-mail, announcements, an employee directory, a policy handbook, frequently asked questions, personnel forms and data, employee discussion forums, shared documents, and other employee information.

Electronic Presentations Business presenters load a slide presentation onto a laptop PC or PDA for handy electronic presentations in rooms equipped with projectors. Sophisticated presentations may include animations, sound effects, digital photos, video clips, or even hyperlinks to Internet sites.

M M U N I C A T I O N

T E C H N O L O G I E S

Computers equipped with voice recognition software enable users to dictate up to 160 words a minute with accurate transcription. Voice recognition is particularly helpful to disabled workers and to professionals with heavy dictation loads, such as physicians and attorneys. Users can create documents, enter data, compose and send e-mails, browse the Web, and control the desktop—all by voice.

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C O M M U N I C A T I O N

T E C H N O L O G I E S

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C O M M U N I C A T I O N

Voice Recognition

T E C H N O L

Collaboration Technologies Global competition, expanding markets, and the ever-increasing pace of business accelerate the development of exciting collaboration tools. Employees working together may be down the hall, across the country, or around the world. With today’s tools, workers exchange ideas, solve problems, develop products, forecast future performance, and complete team projects any time of the day or night and anywhere in the world.

Voice Conferencing

Video Phones

Telephone “bridges” join two or more callers from any location to share the same call. Voice conferencing (also called audioconferencing, teleconferencing, or just plain conference calling) enables people to collaborate by telephone. Communicators at both ends use an enhanced speakerphone to talk and be heard simultaneously.

Using advanced video compression technology, video phones transmit real-time audio and video so that communicators can see each other as they collaborate. With a video phone, you can videoconference without a computer or a television screen.

Web Conferencing

One-Number Dialing

With services such as WebEx and Live Meeting, all you need are a PC and an Internet connection to hold a meeting. Although the functions of Web conferencing (also called desktop or media conferencing) are constantly evolving, it currently incorporates screen sharing, voice communication, slide presentations, text messaging, and application sharing (e.g., participants can work on a spreadsheet together).

Smart phones switch seamlessly between cellular networks and corporate Wi-Fi connections allowing employees to take their phones around corporate campuses, into their homes, or on the road. Onenumber dialing reduces frustration and wasted time.

Presence Technology

Videoconferencing Videoconferencing allows participants to meet in special conference rooms equipped with cameras and television screens. Groups see each other and interact in real time although they may be worlds apart. Faster computers, rapid Internet connections, and better cameras now enable 2 to 200 participants to sit at their own PCs and share applications, spreadsheets, presentations, and photos.

A B O R A T I O N

T E C H N O L O G I E S

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C O L L A B O R A T I O N

Responding to the demand for immediate communication, “presence awareness” builds on instant messaging. In a presence-enabled workplace, you would know whether to contact someone via voice, e-mail, or instant messaging. This awareness avoids time wasted in voice mailboxes and waiting for e-mail responses. A light on your telephone might indicate when key people on your team are present on your internal phone network. Still being developed, presence technology is built on Session Initiation Protocol (SIP).

T E C H N O L O G I E S

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C O L L A B O R A T I O N

T E C H N O L O G

Unit 1

Increasing global competition and revolutionary technologies demand cultural and communication skills.

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Laying Communication Foundations

Heightened global competition. Because American companies are moving beyond local markets, you may be interacting with people from many different cultures. As a successful business communicator, you will want to learn about other cultures. You’ll also need to develop multicultural skills including sensitivity, flexibility, patience, and tolerance. Innovative communication technologies. E-mail, fax, instant messaging, text messaging, the Web, mobile technologies, audio- and videoconferencing, company intranets, and voice recognition—all these innovative technologies are reshaping the way we communicate at work, as summarized in Figure 1.2. You can expect to be communicating more often and more rapidly than ever before. Your writing and speaking skills will be showcased as never before. New work environments. Mobile technologies and the desire for a better balance between work and family have resulted in flexible working arrangements. You may become part of an increasing number of workers who are telecommuters or virtual team members. Working as a telecommuter or virtual team member requires even more communication, because staying connected with the office or with one another means exchanging many messages. Another work environment trend is the movement toward open offices divided into small work cubicles. Working in a cubicle requires new rules of office etiquette and civility. Focus on information and knowledge as corporate assets. Corporate America is increasingly aware that information is the key to better products and increased profitability. You will be expected to gather, sort, store, and disseminate data in a timely and accurate fashion. This is the new way of business life.

EXAMINING THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS

Communication is the transmission of information and meaning from one individual or group to another.

As you can see, you can expect to be communicating more rapidly, more often, and with greater numbers of people than ever before. The most successful players in this new world of work will be those with highly developed communication skills. Because good communication skills are essential to your success, we need to take a closer look at the communication process. Just what is communication? For our purposes communication is the transmission of information and meaning from one individual or group to another. The crucial element in this definition is meaning. Communication has as its central objective the transmission of meaning. The process of communication is successful only when the receiver understands an idea as the sender intended it. This process generally involves five steps, discussed here and shown in Figure 1.3. 1.

Sender has an idea. The form of the idea may be influenced by the sender’s mood, frame of reference, background, culture, and physical makeup, as well as the context of the situation.

The communication process has five steps: idea formation, message encoding, message transmission, message decoding, and feedback.

Sender encodes the idea in a message. Encoding means converting the idea into words or gestures that will convey meaning. A major problem in communicating any message verbally is that words have different meanings for different people. That’s why skilled communicators try to choose familiar words with concrete meanings on which both senders and receivers agree.

Message travels over a channel. The medium over which the message is transmitted is the channel. Messages may be sent by computer, telephone, letter, or memorandum. They may also be sent by means of a report, announcement, picture, spoken word, fax, or other channel. Because both verbal and nonverbal messages are carried, senders must choose channels carefully. Anything that disrupts the transmission of a message in the communication process is called noise.

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FIGURE 1.3

Communication Process

Feedback travels to sender NOISE

Sender has idea

Sender encodes message

Channel carries message

Receiver decodes message

Receiver understands message

NOISE Possible additional feedback travels to receiver

Communication barriers and noise may cause the communication process to break down.

Channel noise ranges from static that disrupts a telephone conversation to spelling errors in an e-mail message. Such errors damage the credibility of the sender. 4.

Receiver decodes message. The person for whom a message is intended is the receiver. Translating the message from its symbol form into meaning involves decoding. Successful communication takes place only when a receiver understands the meaning intended by the sender. Such success is often hard to achieve because no two people share the same background. Success is further limited because barriers and noise may disrupt the process.

Feedback travels to sender. The verbal and nonverbal responses of the receiver create feedback, a vital part of the entire communication process. Feedback helps the sender know that the message was received and understood. Senders can encourage feedback by asking questions such as Am I making myself clear? and Is there anything you don’t understand? Senders can further improve feedback by delivering the message at a time when receivers can respond. Senders should provide only as much information as a receiver can handle. Receivers can improve the process by paraphrasing the sender’s message. They might say, Let me try to explain that in my own words, or My understanding of your comment is . . .

DEVELOPING BETTER LISTENING SKILLS

Most individuals listen at only 25 percent efficiency.

An important part of the communication process is listening. By all accounts, however, most of us are not very good listeners. Do you ever pretend to be listening when you’re not? Do you know how to look attentive in class when your mind wanders far away? How about “tuning out” people when their ideas are boring or complex? Do you find it hard to focus on ideas when a speaker’s clothing or mannerisms are unusual? You probably answered yes to one or more of these questions because many of us have developed poor listening habits. In fact, some researchers suggest that we listen at only 25 percent efficiency. Such poor listening habits are costly in business. Letters must be rewritten, shipments reshipped, appointments rescheduled, contracts renegotiated, and directions restated.

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To improve listening skills, we must first recognize barriers that prevent effective listening. Then we need to focus on specific techniques that are effective in improving listening skills.

Barriers to Effective Listening

Observers have suggested that the best communication tools are ears.

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Most North Americans speak at about 125 words per minute. The human brain can process information at least three times as fast.

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As you learned earlier, barriers and noise can interfere with the communication process. Have any of the following barriers and distractions prevented you from hearing what’s said? • Physical barriers. You cannot listen if you cannot hear what is being said. Physical impediments include hearing disabilities, poor acoustics, and noisy surroundings. It’s also difficult to listen if you’re ill, tired, uncomfortable, or worried. Psychological barriers. Everyone brings to the communication process a different set of cultural, ethical, and personal values. Each of us has an idea of what is right and what is important. If other ideas run counter to our preconceived thoughts, we tend to “tune out” the speaker and thus fail to hear. Language problems. Unfamiliar words can destroy the communication process because they lack meaning for the receiver. In addition, emotion-laden or “charged” words can adversely affect listening. If the mention of words such as abortion or overdose has an intense emotional impact, a listener may be unable to think about the words that follow. Nonverbal distractions. Many of us find it hard to listen if a speaker is different from what we view as normal. Unusual clothing, speech mannerisms, body twitches, or a radical hairstyle can cause enough distraction to prevent us from hearing what the speaker has to say. Thought speed. Because we can process thoughts more than three times faster than speakers can say them, we can become bored and allow our minds to wander.

The better a businessperson listens to a customer, the better she or he will be at fulfilling expectations, resolving disputes, reducing uncertainty, and projecting goodwill. Any employee listening to a customer should learn to defer judgment, pay attention to content rather than surface issues, focus on main ideas, and avoid replying to sidetracking issues.

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•

Faking attention. Most of us have learned to look as if we are listening even when we’re not. Such behavior was perhaps necessary as part of our socialization. Faked attention, however, seriously threatens effective listening because it encourages the mind to engage in flights of unchecked fancy. Those who practice faked attention often find it hard to concentrate even when they want to. Grandstanding. Would you rather talk or listen? Naturally, most of us would rather talk. Because our own experiences and thoughts are most important to us, we grab the limelight in conversations. We sometimes fail to listen carefully because we’re just waiting politely for the next pause so that we can have our turn to speak.

Tips for Becoming an Active Listener

To become an active listener, stop talking, control your surroundings, develop a positive mind-set, listen for main points, and capitalize on lag time.

Listening actively may mean taking notes and providing feedback.

You can reverse the harmful effects of poor habits by making a conscious effort to become an active listener. This means becoming involved. You can’t sit back and hear whatever a lazy mind happens to receive. The following techniques will help you become an active and effective listener. • Stop talking. The first step to becoming a good listener is to stop talking. Let others explain their views. Learn to concentrate on what the speaker is saying, not on what your next comment will be. • Control your surroundings. Whenever possible, remove competing sounds. Close windows or doors, turn off TVs, unplug your iPod, and move away from loud people, noisy appliances, or engines. Choose a quiet time and place for listening. • Establish a receptive mind-set. Expect to learn something by listening. Strive for a positive and receptive frame of mind. If the message is complex, think of it as mental gymnastics. It’s hard work but good exercise to stretch and expand the limits of your mind. • Keep an open mind. We all sift and filter information through our own biases and values. For improved listening, discipline yourself to listen objectively. Be fair to the speaker. Hear what is really being said, not what you want to hear. • Listen for main points. Heighten your concentration and satisfaction by looking for the speaker’s central themes. Congratulate yourself when you find them! • Capitalize on lag time. Make use of the quickness of your mind by reviewing the speaker’s points. Anticipate what’s coming next. Evaluate evidence the speaker has presented. Don’t allow yourself to daydream. Try to guess what the speaker’s next point will be. • Listen between the lines. Focus both on what is spoken as well as what is unspoken. Listen for feelings as well as for facts. • Judge ideas, not appearances. Concentrate on the content of the message, not on its delivery. Avoid being distracted by the speaker’s looks, voice, or mannerisms. • Hold your fire. Force yourself to listen to the speaker’s entire argument or message before reacting. Such restraint may enable you to understand the speaker’s reasons and logic before you jump to false conclusions. • Take selective notes. In some situations thoughtful notetaking may be necessary to record important facts that must be recalled later. Select only the most important points so that the notetaking process does not interfere with your concentration on the speaker’s total message. • Provide feedback. Let the speaker know that you are listening. Nod your head and maintain eye contact. Ask relevant questions at appropriate times. Getting involved improves the communication process for both the speaker and the listener.

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Laying Communication Foundations

IMPROVING YOUR NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Nonverbal communication includes all unwritten and unspoken messages, intended or not.

When verbal and nonverbal messages clash, listeners tend to believe the nonverbal message.

Understanding messages often involves more than merely listening to spoken words. Nonverbal cues, in fact, can speak louder than words. These cues include eye contact, facial expression, body movements, space, time, territory, and appearance. All these nonverbal cues affect how a message is interpreted, or decoded, by the receiver. Just what is nonverbal communication? It includes all unwritten and unspoken messages, whether intended or not. These silent signals have a strong effect on receivers. But understanding them is not simple. Does a downward glance indicate modesty? Fatigue? Does a constant stare reflect coldness? Dullness? Do crossed arms mean defensiveness? Withdrawal? Or do crossed arms just mean that a person is shivering? Messages are even harder to decipher when the verbal codes and nonverbal cues do not agree. What will you think if Scott says he’s not angry, but he slams the door when he leaves? What if Alicia assures the hostess that the meal is excellent, but she eats very little? The nonverbal messages in these situations speak more loudly than the words. When verbal and nonverbal messages conflict, receivers put more faith in nonverbal cues. In one study speakers sent a positive message but averted their eyes as they spoke. Listeners perceived the total message to be negative. Moreover, they thought that averted eyes suggested lack of affection, superficiality, lack of trust, and nonreceptivity.8 Successful communicators recognize the power of nonverbal messages. Although it’s unwise to attach specific meanings to gestures or actions, some cues broadcast by body language are helpful in understanding the feelings and attitudes of senders.

How the Eyes, Face, and Body Send Silent Messages Words seldom tell the whole story. Indeed, some messages are sent with no words at all. The eyes, face, and body can convey a world of meaning without a single syllable being spoken. EYE CONTACT The eyes are thought to be the best predictor of a speaker’s true feelings.

The eyes have been called the windows to the soul. Even if they don’t reveal the soul, the eyes are often the best predictor of a speaker’s true feelings. Most of us cannot look another person straight in the eyes and lie. As a result, in American culture we tend to believe people who look directly at us. Sustained eye contact suggests trust and admiration; brief eye contact signals fear or stress. Good eye contact enables the message sender to see whether a receiver is paying attention, showing respect, responding favorably, or feeling distress. From the receiver’s viewpoint, good eye contact, in North American culture, reveals the speaker’s sincerity, confidence, and truthfulness. FACIAL EXPRESSION The expression on a person’s face can be almost as revealing of emotion as the eyes. Experts estimate that the human face can display over 250,000 expressions.9 To hide their feelings, some people can control these expressions and maintain “poker faces.” Most of us, however, display our emotions openly. Raising or lowering the eyebrows, squinting the eyes, swallowing nervously, clenching the jaw, smiling broadly— these voluntary and involuntary facial expressions can add to or entirely replace verbal messages.

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POSTURE AND GESTURES

Nonverbal messages often have different meanings in different cultures.

A person’s posture can convey anything from high status and self-confidence to shyness and submissiveness. Leaning toward a speaker suggests attraction and interest; pulling away or shrinking back denotes fear, distrust, anxiety, or disgust. Similarly, gestures can communicate entire thoughts via simple movements. However, the meanings of some of these movements differ in other cultures. Unless you know local customs, they can get you into trouble. In the United States and Canada, for example, forming the thumb and forefinger in a circle means everything’s OK. But in Germany and parts of South America, the OK sign is obscene. What does your own body language say about you? To take stock of the kinds of messages being sent by your body, ask a classmate to critique your use of eye contact, facial expression, and body movements. Another way to analyze your nonverbal style is to videotape yourself making a presentation. Then study your performance. This way you can make sure your nonverbal cues send the same message as your words.

How Time, Space, and Territory Send Silent Messages In addition to nonverbal messages transmitted by your body, three external elements convey information in the communication process: time, space, and territory. TIME How we structure and use time tells observers about our personality and attitudes. For example, when Donald Trump, multimillionaire real estate developer, gives a visitor a prolonged interview, he signals his respect for, interest in, and approval of the visitor or the topic to be discussed. SPACE How we order the space around us tells something about ourselves and our objectives. Whether the space is a bedroom, a dorm room, an office, or a department, people reveal themselves in the design and grouping of their furniture. Generally, the more formal the arrangement, the more formal and closed the communication. The way office furniture is arranged sends cues on how communication is to take place. Former FBI director J. Edgar Hoover used to make his visitors sit at a small table below his large, elevated desk. Clearly, he did not want office visitors to feel equal to him.10 TERRITORY

People convey meaning in how they structure and organize time and how they order the space around themselves.

Each of us has a certain area that we feel is our own territory, whether it’s a specific spot or just the space around us. Your father may have a favorite chair in which he is most comfortable, a cook might not tolerate intruders in his or her kitchen, and veteran employees may feel that certain work areas and tools belong to them. We all maintain zones of privacy in which we feel comfortable. Figure 1.4 illustrates the four zones of social interaction among Americans, as formulated by anthropologist Edward T. Hall.11 Notice that Americans are a bit standoffish; only intimate friends and family may stand closer than about 11⁄2 feet. If someone violates that territory, Americans feel uncomfortable and defensive and may step back to reestablish their space.

How Appearance Sends Silent Messages The physical appearance of a business document, as well as the personal appearance of an individual, transmits immediate and important nonverbal messages.

14 FIGURE 1.4

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Four Space Zones for Social Interaction

Intimate Zone (1 to 11/2 feet)

Personal Zone (11/2 to 4 feet)

Social Zone (4 to 12 feet)

Public Zone (12 or more feet)

The appearance of a message and of an individual can convey positive or negative nonverbal messages.

The way a letter, memo, or report looks can have either a positive or a negative effect on the receiver. Sloppy e-mail messages send a nonverbal message that says you are in a terrific hurry or that the receiver is not important enough for you to care. Envelopes—through their postage, stationery, and printing—can suggest routine, important, or junk mail. Letters and reports can look neat, professional, well organized, and attractive—or just the opposite. In succeeding chapters you’ll learn how to create documents that send positive nonverbal messages through their appearance, format, organization, readability, and correctness. PERSONAL APPEARANCE The way you look—your clothing, grooming, and posture—telegraphs an instant nonverbal message about you. Based on what they see, viewers make quick judgments about your status, credibility, personality, and potential. If you want to be considered professional, think about how you present yourself. One marketing manager said, “I’m young and pretty. It’s hard enough to be taken seriously, and if I show up in jeans and a T-shirt, I don’t stand a chance.”12 As a businessperson, you’ll want to think about what your appearance says about you. Although the rules of business attire have loosened up, some workers show poor judgment. You’ll learn more about professional attire and behavior in later chapters.

Tips for Improving Your Nonverbal Skills Because nonverbal cues can mean more than spoken words, learn to use nonverbal communication positively.

Nonverbal communication can outweigh words in the way it influences how others perceive us. You can harness the power of silent messages by reviewing the following tips for improving nonverbal communication skills: • Establish and maintain eye contact. Remember that in the United States and Canada, appropriate eye contact signals interest, attentiveness, strength, and credibility. • Use posture to show interest. Encourage communication interaction by leaning forward, sitting or standing erect, and looking alert. • Improve your decoding skills. Watch facial expressions and body language to understand the complete verbal and nonverbal messages being communicated. • Probe for more information. When you perceive nonverbal cues that contradict verbal meanings, politely seek additional cues (I’m not sure I understand, Please tell me more about . . . , or Do you mean that . . . ). • Avoid assigning nonverbal meanings out of context. Don’t interpret nonverbal behavior unless you understand a situation or a culture. • Associate with people from diverse cultures. Learn about other cultures to widen your knowledge and tolerance of intercultural nonverbal messages.

PHOTOS: LEFT TO RIGHT: © PHOTODISC BLUE/GETTY IMAGES; PHOTODISC RED/GETTY IMAGES; PHOTODISC RED/GETTY IMAGES; PHOTODISC RED/GETTY IMAGES

APPEARANCE OF BUSINESS DOCUMENTS

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• • •

Appreciate the power of appearance. Keep in mind that the appearance of your business documents, your business space, and yourself sends immediate positive or negative messages to receivers. Observe yourself on videotape. Ensure that your verbal and nonverbal messages are in sync by taping and evaluating yourself making a presentation. Enlist friends and family. Ask them to monitor your conscious and unconscious body movements and gestures to help you become a more effective communicator.

UNDERSTANDING HOW CULTURE AFFECTS COMMUNICATION Verbal and nonverbal meanings are even more difficult to interpret when people are from different cultures.

Comprehending the verbal and nonverbal meanings of a message is difficult even when communicators are from the same culture. But when they are from different cultures, special sensitivity and skills are necessary. Negotiators for a North American company learned this lesson when they were in Japan looking for a trading partner. The North Americans were pleased after their first meeting with representatives of a major Japanese firm. The Japanese had nodded assent throughout the meeting and had not objected to a single proposal. The next day, however, the North Americans were stunned to learn that the Japanese had rejected the entire plan. In interpreting the nonverbal behavioral messages, the North Americans made a typical mistake. They assumed the Japanese were nodding in agreement as fellow North Americans would. In this case, however, the nods of assent indicated comprehension—not approval. Every country has a unique culture or common heritage, joint experience, and shared learning that produce its culture. Their common experience gives members of that culture a complex system of shared values and customs. It teaches them how to behave; it conditions their reactions. Global business, new communication technologies, the Internet, and even Hollywood are spreading Western values throughout the world. Yet, cultural differences can still cause significant misunderstandings. Comparing traditional North American values with those in other cultures will broaden your worldview. This comparison should also help you recognize some of the values that influence your actions and affect your opinions of others.

Comparing Key Cultural Values Until relatively recently, typical North Americans shared the same broad cultural values. Some experts identified them as “Anglo” or “mainstream” values.13 These values largely represented white, male, Northern European views. Women and many minorities now entering the workforce may eventually modify these values. However, a majority of North Americans are still governed by these mainstream values. Although North American culture is complex, we’ll focus on four dimensions to help you better understand some of the values that shape your actions and judgments of others. These four dimensions are individualism, formality, communication style, and time orientation. INDIVIDUALISM While North Americans value individualism and personal responsibility, other cultures emphasize group- and teamoriented values.

One of the most identifiable characteristics of North Americans is their individualism. This is an attitude of independence and freedom from control. They think that initiative and self-assertion result in personal achievement. They believe in individual action, self-reliance, and personal responsibility; and they desire a large degree of freedom in their personal lives. Other cultures emphasize membership in organizations, groups, and teams; they encourage acceptance of group values, duties, and decisions. Members of these cultures typically resist independence because it fosters competition and confrontation instead of consensus.

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FORMALITY Although North Americans value informality and directness, other cultures may value tradition and indirectness.

A second significant dimension of North American culture is our attitude toward formality. Americans place less emphasis on tradition, ceremony, and social rules than do people in some other cultures. They dress casually and are soon on a firstname basis with others. Their lack of formality is often characterized by directness. In business dealings North Americans tend to come to the point immediately; indirectness, they feel, wastes time, a valuable commodity. COMMUNICATION STYLE

North Americans tend to be direct and to understand words literally.

A third important dimension of our culture relates to communication style. North Americans value straightforwardness, are suspicious of evasiveness, and distrust people who might have a “hidden agenda” or who “play their cards too close to the chest.”14 North Americans also tend to be uncomfortable with silence and impatient with delays. What’s more, they tend to use and understand words literally. Latins, on the other hand, enjoy plays on words; Arabs and South Americans sometimes speak with extravagant or poetic figures of speech (such as “the Mother of all battles”). TIME ORIENTATION

North Americans correlate time with productivity, efficiency, and money.

A fourth dimension of our culture relates to time orientation. North Americans consider time a precious commodity to be conserved. They correlate time with productivity, efficiency, and money. Keeping people waiting for business appointments wastes time and is also rude. In other cultures, time may be perceived as an unlimited and neverending resource to be enjoyed. Being late for an appointment is not a grievous sin. Figure 1.5 compares a number of cultural values for U.S. Americans, Japanese, and Arabs. Notice that belonging, group harmony, and collectiveness are very important to Japanese people, while family matters rank highest with Arabs. As we become aware of the vast differences in cultural values illustrated in Figure 1.5, we can better understand why communication barriers develop and how misunderstandings occur in cross-cultural interactions.

Controlling Ethnocentrism and Stereotyping The process of understanding and accepting people from other cultures is often hampered by two barriers: ethnocentrism and stereotyping. These two barriers, FIGURE 1.5

U.S. Americans

Comparison of Cultural Values Ranked by Priority* Japanese

Arabs

1. Freedom

1. Belonging

1. Family security

2. Independence

2. Group harmony

2. Family harmony

3. Self-reliance

3. Collectiveness

3. Parental guidance

4. Equality

4. Age/Seniority

4. Age

5. Individualism

5. Group consensus

5. Authority

6. Competition

6. Cooperation

6. Compromise

7. Efficiency

7. Quality

7. Devotion

8. Time

8. Patience

9. Directness

9. Indirectness

10. Openness

10. Go-between

10. Hospitality

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however, can be overcome by developing tolerance, a powerful and effective aid to communication. ETHNOCENTRISM Ethnocentrism is the belief in the superiority of one’s own culture and group.

The belief in the superiority of one’s own culture is known as ethnocentrism. This natural attitude is found in all cultures. Ethnocentrism causes us to judge others by our own values. If you were raised in North America, the values just described probably seem “right” to you, and you may wonder why the rest of the world doesn’t function in the same sensible fashion. A North American businessperson in an Arab or Asian country might be upset at time spent over coffee or other social rituals before any “real” business is transacted. In these cultures, however, personal relationships must be established and nurtured before earnest talks may proceed. STEREOTYPES

A stereotype is an oversimplified behavioral pattern applied to entire groups.

Our perceptions of other cultures sometimes cause us to form stereotypes about groups of people. A stereotype is an oversimplified perception of a behavioral pattern or characteristic applied to entire groups. For example, the Swiss are hardworking, efficient, and neat; Germans are formal, reserved, and blunt; Americans are loud, friendly, and impatient; Canadians are polite, trusting, and tolerant; Asians are gracious, humble, and inscrutable. These attitudes may or may not accurately describe cultural norms. When applied to individual business communicators, such stereotypes may create misconceptions and misunderstandings. Look beneath surface stereotypes and labels to discover individual personal qualities. TOLERANCE

Developing intercultural tolerance means practicing empathy, being nonjudgmental, and being patient.

Working among people from other cultures demands tolerance and flexible attitudes. As global markets expand and as our society becomes increasingly multiethnic, tolerance becomes critical. Tolerance, here, does not mean “putting up with” or “enduring,” which is one part of its definition. Instead, we use tolerance in a broader sense. It means having sympathy for and appreciating beliefs and practices different from our own. One of the best ways to develop tolerance is by practicing empathy. This means trying to see the world through another’s eyes. It means being nonjudgmental, recognizing things as they are rather than as they “should be.” It includes the ability to accept others’ contributions in solving problems in a culturally appropriate manner. When Kal Kan Foods began courting the pet owners of Japan, for example, an Asian advisor suggested that the meat chunks in its Pedigree dog food be cut into perfect little squares. Why? Japanese pet owners feed their dogs piece by piece with chopsticks. Instead of insisting on what “should be” (feeding dogs chunky meat morsels), Kal Kan solved the problem by looking at it from another cultural point of view (providing neat small squares).15 The following tips provide specific suggestions for preventing miscommunication in oral and written transactions across cultures.

Tips for Minimizing Oral Miscommunication Among Cross-Cultural Audiences When you have a conversation with someone from another culture, you can reduce misunderstandings by following these suggestions: • Use simple English. Speak in short sentences (under 20 words) with familiar, short words. Eliminate puns, sports and military references, slang, and jargon (special business terms). Be especially alert to idiomatic expressions that can’t be translated, such as burn the midnight oil and under the weather. • Speak slowly and enunciate clearly. Avoid fast speech, but don’t raise your voice. Overpunctuate with pauses and full stops. Always write numbers for all to see.

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Laying Communication Foundations

• •

• • • • •

Encourage accurate feedback. Ask probing questions, and encourage the listener to paraphrase what you say. Don’t assume that a yes, a nod, or a smile indicates comprehension or assent. Check frequently for comprehension. Avoid waiting until you finish a long explanation to request feedback. Instead, make one point at a time, pausing to check for comprehension. Don’t proceed to B until A has been grasped. Observe eye messages. Be alert to a glazed expression or wandering eyes. These tell you the listener is lost. Accept blame. If a misunderstanding results, graciously accept the blame for not making your meaning clear. Listen without interrupting. Curb your desire to finish sentences or to fill out ideas for the speaker. Keep in mind that North Americans abroad are often accused of listening too little and talking too much. Remember to smile! Roger Axtell, international behavior expert, calls the smile the single most understood and most useful form of communication in either personal or business transactions. Follow up in writing. After conversations or oral negotiations, confirm the results and agreements with follow-up letters. For proposals and contracts, engage a translator to prepare copies in the local language.

Tips for Minimizing Written Miscommunication Among Cross-Cultural Audiences

You can improve cross-cultural written communication by adopting local styles, using short sentences and short paragraphs, avoiding ambiguous wording, and citing numbers carefully.

When you write to someone from a different culture, you can improve your chances of being understood by following these suggestions: • Consider local styles. Learn how documents are formatted and how letters are addressed and developed in the intended reader’s country. Decide whether to use your organization’s preferred format or adjust to local styles. • Consider hiring a translator. Engage a translator if (1) your document is important, (2) your document will be distributed to many readers, or (3) you must be persuasive. • Use short sentences and short paragraphs. Sentences with fewer than 20 words and paragraphs with fewer than 8 lines are most readable. • Avoid ambiguous wording. Include relative pronouns (that, which, who) for clarity in introducing clauses. Stay away from contractions (especially ones like Here’s the problem). Avoid idioms (once in a blue moon), slang (my presentation really bombed ), acronyms (ASAP for as soon as possible), abbreviations (DBA for doing business as), and jargon (input, output, clickstream). Use actionspecific verbs (purchase a printer rather than get a printer). • Cite numbers carefully. For international trade it’s a good idea to learn and use the metric system. In citing numbers, use figures (15) instead of spelling them out (fifteen). Always convert dollar figures into local currency. Avoid using figures to express the month of the year. In North America, for example, March 5, 2006, might be written as 3/5/06, while in Europe the same date might appear as 5.3.06. For clarity, always spell out the month.

CAPITALIZING ON WORKFORCE DIVERSITY As global competition opens world markets, North American businesspeople will increasingly interact with customers and colleagues from around the world. At the same time, the North American workforce is also becoming more diverse—in race, ethnicity, age, gender, national origin, physical ability, and countless other characteristics.

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You can expect to be interacting with customers and colleagues who may differ from you in race, ethnicity, age, gender, national origin, physical ability, and many other characteristics.

No longer, say the experts, will the workplace be predominantly male or Anglooriented. Nearly 85 percent of the new entrants to the workforce will be women, minorities, and immigrants, according to estimates from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. By 2012 groups now considered minorities (African Americans, Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans, and others) will make up 34 percent of the workforce. Nearly half (48 percent) of all workers will be women, and more than 19 percent will be fifty-five years or older.16 While the workforce is becoming more diverse, the structure of many businesses in North America is also changing. As you learned earlier, many workers are now organized by teams. Organizations are flatter, and rank-and-file workers are increasingly making decisions among themselves. What does all this mean for you as a future business communicator? Simply put, your job may require you to interact with colleagues and customers from around the world. Your work environment will probably demand that you cooperate effectively with small groups of coworkers. What’s more, these coworkers may differ from you in race, ethnicity, gender, age, and other ways. A diverse work environment, however, has many benefits. Consumers want to deal with companies that respect their values and create products and services tailored to their needs. Organizations that hire employees with different experiences and backgrounds are better able to create the different products that these consumers desire. In addition, businesses with diverse workforces suffer fewer discrimination lawsuits, fewer union clashes, and less government regulatory action. That’s why a growing number of companies view today’s diversity movement as a critical bottom-line business strategy. Organizations such as PepsiCo, UPS, Nike, Reebok, and Enterprise Rent-a-Car want employees who speak the same language, literally and figuratively, as their customers.17 These organizations are convinced that it improves employee relationships and increases business.

Flatter organizations and emphasis on teamwork increase interactivity within small groups.

Tips for Effective Communication With Diverse Workplace Audiences

Successful communicators understand the value of differences, don’t expect conformity, create zero tolerance for bias and stereotypes, and practice open-minded listening.

Capitalizing on workplace diversity is an enormous challenge for most organizations and individuals. Harmony and acceptance do not follow automatically when people who are dissimilar work together. The following suggestions can help you become a more effective communicator as you enter a rapidly evolving workplace with ethnically diverse colleagues and clients. • Understand the value of differences. Diversity makes an organization innovative and creative. Sameness fosters groupthink, an absence of critical thinking sometimes found in homogeneous groups. Case studies, for example, of the Kennedy administration’s decision to invade Cuba and of the Challenger

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•

Successful communicators invite, use, and give feedback; make few assumptions; learn about their own cultures and other cultures; and seek common ground.

•

Learning about other cultures and seeking common ground help people work together to achieve common goals.

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missile disaster suggest that groupthink prevented alternatives from being considered.18 Diversity in problem-solving groups encourages independent and creative thinking. Don’t expect conformity. Gone are the days when businesses could say, “This is our culture. Conform or leave.” The CEO of athletic shoemaker Reebok stressed seeking people who have new and different stories to tell. “It accomplishes next to nothing to employ those who are different from us if the condition of their employment is that they become the same as us. For it is their differences that enrich us, expand us, provide us the competitive edge.”19 Create zero tolerance for bias and stereotypes. Cultural patterns exist in every identity group, but applying these patterns to individuals results in stereotyping. Assuming that African Americans are good athletes, that women are poor at math, that French Canadians excel at hockey, or that European American men are insensitive fails to admit the immense differences in people in each group. Check your own use of stereotypes and labels. Don’t tell sexist or ethnic jokes at meetings. Avoid slang, abbreviations, and jargon that imply stereotypes. Challenge others’ stereotypes politely but firmly. Practice focused, thoughtful, and open-minded listening. Much misunderstanding can be avoided by attentive listening. Listen for main points; take notes if necessary to remember important details. The most important part of listening, especially among diverse communicators, is judging ideas, not appearances or accents. Invite, use, and give feedback. As you learned earlier, a critical element in successful communication is feedback. You can encourage it by asking questions such as Is there anything you don’t understand? When a listener or receiver responds, use that feedback to adjust your delivery of information. Does the receiver need more details? A different example? Slower delivery? As a good listener, you should also be prepared to give feedback. For example, summarize your understanding of what was said or agreed on. Make fewer assumptions. Be careful of seemingly insignificant, innocent workplace assumptions. For example, don’t assume that everyone wants to observe the holidays with a Christmas party and a decorated tree. Celebrating only Christian holidays in December and January excludes those who honor Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and the Chinese New Year. Moreover, in workplace discussions don’t assume that everyone is married or wants to be or is even heterosexual, for that matter. For invitations, avoid phrases such as “managers and their wives.” Spouses or partners is more inclusive. Valuing diversity means making fewer assumptions that everyone is like you or wants to be like you. Learn about your cultural self. Knowing your own cultural biases helps you become more objective and adaptable. Begin to recognize the stock reactions and thought patterns that are automatic to you as a result of your upbringing. Become more aware of your own values and beliefs so that you will recognize them when you are confronted by differing values. Learn about other cultures and identity groups. People are naturally threatened by the unknown. Consider the following proverb: “I saw in the distance what I took to be a beast, but when I came close, I saw it was my brother and my sister.” The same error occurs in communities and work groups. From a distance an unknown person may appear to be threatening. But when the person is recognized or better known, our reactions change. Learning more about diverse groups and individuals helps you reduce the threat of the unknown. Seek common ground. Look for areas where you and others not like you can agree or share opinions. Be prepared to consider issues from many perspectives, all of which may be valid. Accept that there is room for different points of view to coexist peacefully. Although you can always find differences, it’s much harder to find similarities. Look for common ground in shared experiences, mutual goals, and similar values. Concentrate on your objective even when you may disagree on how to reach it.

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SUMMING UP AND LOOKING FORWARD This chapter described the importance of becoming an effective business communicator in this information economy. Many of the changes in today’s dynamic workplace revolve around processing and communicating information. Flattened management hierarchies, participatory management, increased emphasis on work teams, heightened global competition, and innovative communication technologies are all trends that increase the need for good communication skills. To improve your skills, you should understand the communication process. Communication doesn’t take place unless senders encode meaningful messages that can be decoded and understood by receivers. One important part of the communication process is listening. You can become a more active listener by keeping an open mind, listening for main points, capitalizing on lag time, judging ideas and not appearances, taking selective notes, and providing feedback. The chapter also described ways to help you improve your nonverbal communication skills.

You learned the powerful effect that culture has on communication, and you became more aware of key cultural values for North Americans. Finally, the chapter discussed ways that businesses and individuals can capitalize on workforce diversity. The following chapters present the writing process. You will learn specific techniques to help you improve your written and oral expression. Remember, communication skills are not inherited. They are learned. John Bryan, the highly respected former CEO of Sara Lee, recognized this when he said that communication skills are “about 99 percent developed.” Bryan contended that “the ability to construct a succinct memo, one that concentrates on the right issues, and the ability to make a presentation to an audience—these are skills that can be taught to almost anyone.”20 Remember that writing skills function as a gatekeeper. Poor skills keep you in low-wage, dead-end work. Good skills open the door to high wages and career advancement.21

CRITICAL THINKING 1. Why is it important for business and professional students to develop good communication skills, and why is it difficult or impossible to do without help? 2. Recall a time when you experienced a problem as a result of poor communication. What were the causes of and possible remedies for the problem? 3. How are listening skills important to employees, supervisors, and executives? Who should have the best listening skills?

4. What arguments could you give for or against the idea that body language is a science with principles that can be interpreted accurately by specialists? 5. Because English is becoming the world’s language and because the United States is a dominant military and trading force, why should Americans bother to learn about other cultures?

CHAPTER REVIEW 6. Are communication skills acquired by nature or by nurture? Explain.

7. List seven trends in the workplace that affect business communicators. Be prepared to discuss how they might affect you in your future career.

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8. Give a brief definition of the following words: a. Encode b. Channel c. Decode 9. List 11 techniques for improving your listening skills. Be prepared to discuss each.

10. What is nonverbal communication? Give several examples.

11. Name five unprofessional communication techniques that can sabotage a career.

12. Describe the concept of North American individualism. How does this concept set North Americans apart from people in some other cultures?

13. What is ethnocentrism, and how can it be reduced?

14. List seven suggestions for enhancing comprehension when you are talking with people for whom English is a second language. Be prepared to discuss each.

15. List at least eight suggestions for becoming a more effective communicator in a diverse workplace. Be prepared to discuss each.

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EXPAND YOUR LEARNING WITH THESE BONUS RESOURCES! Guffey Companion Web Site http://guffey.swlearning.com Your companion Web site offers review quizzes, a glossary of key terms, and flash cards to build your knowledge of chapter concepts. Additional career tools include Dr. Guffey’s Guide to Business Etiquette and Workplace Manners, Listening Quiz, and electronic citation formats (MLA and APA) for business writers. You’ll also find updated links to all chapter URLs. Guffey Xtra! http://guffeyxtra.swlearning.com This online study assistant illustrates chapter concepts in PowerPoint. It strengthens your language skills with Your Personal Language Trainer (a grammar/mechanics review), Speak Right!, Spell Right!, and Sentence Competency Exercises. In addition, Guffey Xtra! brings you bonus online chapters: Employment and Other Interviewing and How to Write Instructions. You’ll also find the Grammar/Mechanics Challenge exercises so that you can revise without rekeying.

INFOTRAC COLLEGE EDITION Building Knowledge and Research Skills To excel as a knowledge worker in today’s digital workplace, you must know how to find and evaluate information on the Internet. As a student purchasing a new copy of Guffey’s Essentials of Business Communication, 7e, you have an extraordinary opportunity to develop these research skills. For four months you have special access to InfoTrac College Edition, a comprehensive Web-based collection of millions of journal, magazine, encyclopedia, and newspaper articles. You’ll find many activities and study questions in this text that help you build knowledge and develop research skills using InfoTrac. Watch for the InfoTrac icons. InfoTrac is available only with NEW copies of your textbook. How to Use InfoTrac With your Web browser on your computer screen, key the following URL: www.infotrac-college.com. Click Register New Account. Establish your logon name and password. (You may wish to read Thomson’s Privacy Policy). When you feel confident, go to the Keyword Search page and enter your search term. If you need a little help, click InfoTrac Demo.

ACTIVITIES AND CASES

1.1 Pumping Up Your Basic Language Muscles With Xtra! You can enlist the aid of your author to help you pump up your basic language skills. As your personal trainer, Dr. Guffey provides a three-step workout plan and hundreds of interactive questions to help you brush up on your grammar and mechanics skills. You receive immediate feedback in the warm-up sessions, and when you finish a complete workout you can take a short test to assess what you learned. These workouts are completely self-teaching, which means you can review at your own pace and repeat as often as you need. Your Personal Language Trainer is available to you at http://guffeyxtra.swlearning.com. In addition to pumping up your basic language muscles, you can also use Spell Right! and Speak Right! to improve your spelling and pronunciation skills. Your Task. Begin using Your Personal Language Trainer to brush up your basic grammar and mechanics skills by completing one to three workouts per week or as many as your instructor advises. Be prepared to submit a printout of your “fitness” (completion) certificate when you finish a workout module. If your instructor directs, complete the spelling exercises in Spell Right! and submit a certificate of completion for the spelling final exam.

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1.2 Getting To Know You Because today’s work and class environments often involve cooperating in teams or small groups, getting to know your fellow classmates is important. To learn something about the people in this class and to give you practice in developing your communication skills, your instructor may choose one of the following activities: Your Task a. For larger classes, divide into groups of four or five. Take one minute to introduce yourself briefly (name, major interest, hobbies, goals) within your group. Spend five minutes in the first group session. Record the first name of each individual you meet. Then informally regroup. In new groups again spend five minutes on introductions. After three or four sessions, study your name list. How many names can you associate with faces? b.

For smaller classes, introduce yourself in a two-minute oral presentation while standing before the class at the rostrum. Where are you from? What are your educational goals? What are your interests? What do you expect from this class? This informal presentation may serve as the first of two or three oral presentations correlated with Chapter 12.

For online classes, write a letter of introduction about yourself answering the questions in (b). Post your letter to your discussion board. Read and comment on the letters of other students. Think about how people in virtual teams must learn about each other through online messages.

1.3 Class Listening Have you ever consciously observed the listening habits of others? Your Task. In one of your classes, study student listening habits for a week. What barriers to effective listening did you observe? How many of the suggestions described in this chapter are being implemented by listeners in the class? Write a memo or an e-mail message to your instructor briefly describing your observations. (See Chapter 5 to learn more about memos.)

1.4 How Good Are Your Listening Skills? Self-Checked Rating Quiz You can learn whether your listening skills are excellent or deficient by completing a brief quiz. Your Task. Take Dr. Guffey’s Listening Quiz at http://guffey.swlearning.com. What two listening behaviors do you think you need to work on the most? INFOTRAC

1.5 Finding Relevant Listening Advice Your manager, Rasheed Love, has been asked to be part of a panel discussion at a management conference. The topic is “Workplace Communication Challenges,” and his area of expertise is listening. He asks you to help him prepare for the discussion by doing some research. Your Task. Using an InfoTrac subject search, locate at least three articles with suggestions for improving workplace listening skills. Use full-text articles, not abstracts. In a memo to Rasheed Love, present a two- to three-sentence summary explaining why each article is helpful. Include the author’s name, publication, date of publication, and page number. Then list at least ten listening suggestions. See Chapter 5 for memo format. Begin your memo with a sentence such as, “As you requested, I found three articles on listening techniques. After discussing the articles, I will present a list with the most helpful suggestions.”

1.6 Silent Messages Becoming more aware of the silent messages you send helps you make them more accurate. Your Task. Analyze the kinds of silent messages you send your instructor, your classmates, and your employer. How do you send these messages? Group them into categories, as suggested by what you learned in this chapter. What do these messages mean? Be prepared to discuss them in small groups or in a memo to your instructor.

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1.7 Body Language Can body language be accurately interpreted? Your Task. What attitudes do the following body movements suggest to you? Do these movements always mean the same thing? What part does context play in your interpretations? a.

Whistling, wringing hands

Bowed posture, twiddling thumbs

Steepled hands, sprawling sitting position

Rubbing hand through hair

Open hands, unbuttoned coat

Wringing hands, tugging ears

1.8 Universal Sign For “I Goofed” In an effort to promote peace and tranquillity on the highways, motorists submitted the following suggestions to a newspaper columnist.22 Your Task. In small groups consider the pros and cons for each of the following gestures intended as an apology when a driver makes a mistake. Why would some fail? h.

Make a temple with your hands, as if you were praying.

Place your right hand high on your chest and pat a few times, like a basketball player who drops a pass or a football player who makes a bad throw. This says, “I’ll take the blame.”

Move the index finger of your right hand back and forth across your neck—as if you were cutting your throat.

Place your right fist over the middle of your chest and move it in a circular motion. This is universal sign language for “I’m sorry.”

Flash the well-known peace sign. Hold up the index and middle fingers of one hand, making a V, as in Victory.

Open your window and tap the top of your car roof with your hand.

Place the flat of your hands against your cheeks, as children do when they’ve made a mistake.

Smile and raise both arms, palms outward, which is a universal gesture for surrender or forgiveness.

Use the military salute, which is simple and shows respect.

Lower your head slightly and bonk yourself on the forehead with the side of your closed fist. The message is clear: “I’m stupid. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Clasp your hand over your mouth, raise your brows, and shrug your shoulders.

Use your knuckles to knock on the side of your head. Translation: “Oops! Engage brain.”

m. Flash your biggest smile, point at yourself with your right thumb and move your head from left to right, as if to say, “I can’t believe I did that.”

1.9 Alice In Wonderland Travels to Tokyo Jeff Davis is the leader of a creative team representing a large American theme park company. The owners of a Japanese park rely on the American company to develop new attractions for their Tokyo park. But the Japanese own their park and must approve any new addition. Jeff and his team recently traveled to Japan to make an important presentation to the owners. His team had worked for the past year developing the concept of an outdoor garden maze with a network of hedge passageways for children to wander through. The concept was based on Alice in Wonderland. The jobs of Jeff’s entire team depended on selling the idea of this new attraction (including restaurants and gift shops) to the owners of the Tokyo park. Because the Japanese smiled and nodded throughout the presentation, Jeff assumed they liked the idea. When he pushed for final approval, the Japanese smiled and said that an outdoor garden attraction might be difficult in their climate. Jeff explained away that argument. Then, he asked for a straightforward yes or no, but the Japanese answered, “We will have to study it very carefully.” Thinking he had not made himself clear, Jeff began to review the strong points of the presentation.

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Your Task. Analyze the preceding cross-cultural incident. What cultural elements may be interfering with communication in this exchange? TEAM

CRITICAL THINKING

1.10 Cross-Cultural Gap At Resort Hotel In Thailand The Laguna Beach Resort Hotel in Phuket, Thailand, nestled between a tropical lagoon and the sparkling Andaman Sea, is one of the most beautiful resorts in the world. Fortunately, it was spared serious damage from the region’s tidal waves. (You can take a virtual tour by using Google and searching for “Laguna Beach Resort Phuket.”) When Brett Peel arrived as the director of the hotel’s kitchen, he thought he had landed in paradise. Only on the job six weeks, he began wondering why his Thai staff would answer yes even when they didn’t understand what he had said. Other foreign managers discovered that junior staff managers rarely spoke up and never expressed an opinion contrary to those of senior executives. What’s more, guests with a complaint thought that Thai employees were not taking them seriously because the Thais smiled at even the worst complaints. Thais also did not seem to understand deadlines or urgent requests.23 Your Task. In teams decide how you would respond to the following. If you were the director of this hotel, would you implement a training program for employees? If so, would you train only foreign managers, or would you include local Thai employees as well? What topics should a training program include? Would your goal be to introduce Western ways to the Thais? At least 90 percent of the hotel guests are non-Thai.

1.11 Translating Idioms Many languages have idiomatic expressions that do not always make sense to outsiders. Your Task. Explain in simple English what the following idiomatic expressions mean. Assume that you are explaining them to people for whom English is a second language. a.

class act

grey area

cold shoulder

eager beaver

early bird

get your act together

go ape

go behind someone’s back

the bottom of the barrel

1.12 Analyzing Diversity At Reebok Reebok grew from a $12 million a year sport shoe company into a $3 billion footwear and apparel powerhouse without giving much thought to the hiring of employees. “When we were growing very, very fast, all we did was bring another friend into work the next day,” recalled Sharon Cohen, Reebok vice president. “Everybody hired nine of their friends. Well, it happened that nine white people hired nine of their friends, so guess what? They were white, all about the same age. And then we looked up and said, ‘Wait a minute. We don’t like the way it looks here.’ That’s the kind of thing that can happen when you are growing very fast and thoughtlessly.”24 Your Task. In what ways would Reebok benefit by diversifying its staff? What competitive advantages might it gain? Outline your reasoning in an e-mail message to your instructor.

VIDEO RESOURCES Two special sets of videos accompany Guffey’s Essentials of Business Communication, 7e. These videos take you beyond the classroom to build the communication skills you will need to succeed in today’s rapidly changing workplace.

Video Library 1, Building Workplace Communication Skills, presents five videos that introduce and reinforce concepts in selected chapters. These excellent tools ease the learning load by demonstrating chapter-specific material to strengthen your comprehension and retention of key ideas.

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Video Library 2, Bridging the Gap, presents six videos transporting you inside high-profile companies such as Yahoo, Ben & Jerry’s, and Zubi Advertising. You’ll be able to apply your new skills in structured applications aimed at bridging the gap between the classroom and the real world of work.

We recommend two videos for this chapter: Career Success Starts With Communication Foundations. This film, made especially for Guffey books, illustrates the changing business world, flattened management hierarchies, the communication process, communication flow, ethics, listening, nonverbal communication, and other topics to prepare you for today’s workplace. The film is unique in that many concepts

are demonstrated through role-playing. Be prepared to discuss critical-thinking questions at the film’s conclusion. Erasing Stereotypes: Zubi Advertising. This film features a successful businessperson who used her knowledge of Hispanic culture to build an advertising company that creates ads appealing to the Hispanic American market. Despite the obstacles of being a female and a Cuban in Miami, Teresa Zubizarreta created a hugely successful advertising agency. With headquarters in Miami and satellite offices in Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, Detroit, and New York, Teresa Zubizarreta and her 70-person team work to craft precise messages aimed at Hispanic audiences. Your instructor may ask you to watch for specific information as you view this film.

GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHECKUP—1 These checkups are designed to improve your control of grammar and mechanics. They systematically review all sections of the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook. Answers are provided near the end of the book. You will find Advanced Grammar/Mechanics Checkups with immediate feedback at Guffey Xtra! (http://guffeyxtra.swlearning.com).

Nouns Review Sections 1.02–1.06 in the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook. Then study each of the following statements. Underscore any inappropriate form, and write a correction in the space provided. Also record the appropriate G/M section and letter to illustrate the principle involved. If a sentence is correct, write C. When you finish, compare your responses with those provided. If your answers differ, study carefully the principles shown in parentheses.

attorneys

(1.05d)

Example

Attornies seem to be the only ones who benefit from class action suits.

1. Some companys are giving up land lines and using cell phones exclusively. 2. Business is better on Saturday’s than on Sundays. 3. Some of the citys in Craig’s report offer excellent opportunities. 4. Frozen chickens and turkies are kept in the company’s lockers. 5. All secretaries were asked to check supplies and other inventorys. 6. Only the Bushs and the Sanchezes brought their entire families. 7. In the 1990s profits grew rapidly; in the late 2000’s investments soared. 8. Both editor in chiefs instituted strict proofreading policies. 9. Luxury residential complexs are part of the architect’s plan. 10. Voters in three countys are likely to approve new gas taxes. 11. The instructor was surprised to find two Cassidy’s in one class. 12. André sent digital photos of two valleys in France before we planned our trip. 13. Most companies have copies of statements showing their assets and liabilitys. 14. My flat-screen monitor makes it difficult to distinguish between o’s and a’s. 15. Both runner-ups complained about the winner’s behavior.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHALLENGE—1 The following memo has many faults in grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, word use, and number form. Correct the errors with standard proofreading marks (see Appendix B) or revise the message online at Guffey Xtra! Study the guidelines in the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook to sharpen your skills. When you finish, your instructor can show you the revised version of this memo. TO:

Jocelyn Smith-Garcia

FROM:

Kevin West, Manager

DATE:

November 4, 200x

SUBJECT:

SUGGESTION FOR TELECOMMUTING SUCCESSFULLY

To help you become an effective telecommuter Jocelyn, we have a few suggestions to share with you. I understand you will be working at home for the next 9 months. The following guidelines should help you stay in touch with us, and compleate your work satisfactory. •

Be sure to check your message bored daily, and respond immediate to those who are trying to reach you.

•

Check your e-mail at least 3 times a day, answer all messages promply, make sure that you sent copys of relevent message’s to the appropriate officestaff.

•

Transmit all spread sheet work to Zachary Jacksen in our computer services department, he will analyze each week’s activitys, and update all inventorys.

•

Provide me with end of week reports’ indicating the major accounts you serviced.

In prepareing your work area you should make sure you have adequate space for your computer printer fax and storage. For Security reasons you’re workingarea should be off limits to your family and friends. We will continue to hold once a week staff meetings on Friday’s at 10 a.m. in the morning. Do you think it would be possible for you to attend 1 or 2 of these meeting. The next one is Friday November 17th. I know you will enjoy working at home Joclyn. Following these basic guidelines should help you accomplish your work, and provide the office with adequate contact with you.

Communication Workshops (such as the one on the next page) provide insight into special business communication topics and skills not discussed in the chapters. These topics cover ethics, technology, career skills, and collaboration. Each workshop includes a career application with a case study or problem to help you develop skills relevant to the workshop topic.

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TECHNOLOGY USING JOB BOARDS TO LEARN ABOUT EMPLOYMENT POSSIBILITIES IN YOUR FIELD Nearly everyone looking for a job today starts with the Web. This communication workshop will help you use the Web to study job openings in your field. Locating jobs or internships on the Web has distinct advantages. For a few job seekers, the Web leads to bigger salaries, wider opportunities, and faster hiring. The Web, however, can devour huge chunks of time and produce slim results. In terms of actually finding a job, using the Web does not always result in success. Web searching seems to work best for professionals looking for similar work in their current fields and for those who are totally flexible about location. Yet, the Web is an excellent place for any job seeker to learn what’s available, what qualifications are necessary, and what salaries are being offered. Thousands of job boards with many job listings for employers across the United States and abroad are available on the Web. Career Application. Assume that you are about to finish your degree or certification program, and you are now looking for a job. At the direction of your instructor, conduct a survey of electronic job advertisements in your field. What’s available? How much is the salary? What are the requirements?

Your Task •

Visit Monster.com , one of the most popular job boards.

•

Study the opening page. Remember that most job boards are supported by advertisements. As a result, you might get a pop-up ad, which you should ignore. Close any pop-up boxes. From the opening page, click Find Jobs.

•

Read More Search Tips. Before entering any keywords, it’s wise to spend a few moments learning how to search. Click More Search Tips for many helpful hints on precise searching. Browsing this information may take a few minutes, but it’s well worth the effort. Scroll down to learn about safe job searching, keyword searching, location and company searching, and sorting and viewing your results. Close this box by clicking the X in the top right corner.

•

Conduct a practice search. Back on the search page, enter a search term in the Enter Key Word(s) box. Skip the Enter Company Name box and then click a geographical area in the Select Location box. Just for fun, try “Honolulu, Hawaii.” In the Select Job Category box, select an appropriate term, such as Advertising or Accounting. Then press click Get Results. You should see many current job ads.

•

Conduct a real search. Now conduct a job search in your career area and in geographical areas of your choice. Select three ads and print them. If you cannot print, make notes on what you find.

•

Visit another site. Try www.CollegeRecruiter.com, which claims to be the highesttraffic entry-level job site for students and graduates, or www.careerbuilder.com, which says it is the nation’s largest employment network. Become familiar with the site’s searching tools, and look for jobs in your field. Select and print three ads.

•

Analyze the skills required. From the ads you printed, how often do they mention communication, teamwork, computer skills, or professionalism? What tasks do the ads mention? What is the salary range identified in these ads for this position? Your instructor may ask you to submit your findings and/or report to the class.

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THE WRITING PROCESS

CHAPTER 2

Creating Business Messages CHAPTER 3

Improving Writing Techniques CHAPTER 4

Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

CREATING BUSINESS MESSAGES OBJECTIVES

they came from, what their

• Understand that business writing should be audience oriented, purposeful, and economical.

interests were, and what I could talk to them about. John H. Johnson, founder of Ebony and Jet magazines and Fashion Fair cosmetics, talking about customers1

”

• Identify and implement the three phases of the writing process. • Appreciate the importance of analyzing the task and profiling the audience for business messages. • Create messages that spotlight audience benefits and cultivate a “you” view. • Develop a conversational tone and use positive language. • Explain the need for inclusive language, plain expression, and familiar words. • List seven ways technology helps improve business writing.

THE BASICS OF BUSINESS WRITING Excellent communicators, like John H. Johnson, focus on the audience for their messages.

In communicating with others, newspaper founder and businessman John H. Johnson always concentrated on what they wanted rather than what he wanted. An exceedingly successful entrepreneur, Johnson was born in a tin-roof shack in Arkansas. Despite the odds, he became the first African-American on the Forbes magazine list of the 400 richest people in America. “Being poor made me run scared,” he confessed. It also motivated him to find ways to succeed in publishing and in life. What is his greatest success secret? Focusing totally on his audience. With prospective advertisers, he always talked about what he could do for them. How could he help them improve their bottom line? How could he help them increase their sales? How could he make their lives easier?2 Audience awareness is one of the basics of business communication. This chapter focuses on writing for business audiences. Business writing may be different from other writing you have done. High school or college essays and term papers may have required you to describe your feelings, display your knowledge, and meet a

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“

I wanted to know where

Chapter 2

Creating Business Messages

Business writing is audience oriented, purposeful, and economical.

Following a systematic process helps beginning writers create effective messages and presentations.

minimum word count. Business writing, however, has different goals. In preparing business messages and oral presentations, you’ll find that your writing needs to be: • Audience oriented. Like publisher John Johnson, you will concentrate on looking at a problem from the receiver’s perspective instead of seeing it from your own. • Purposeful. You will be writing to solve problems and convey information. You will have a definite purpose to fulfill in each message. • Economical. You will try to present ideas clearly but concisely. Length is not rewarded. These distinctions actually ease the writer’s task. You won’t be searching your imagination for creative topic ideas. You won’t be stretching your ideas to make them appear longer. One writing consultant complained that “most college graduates entering industry have at least a subliminal perception that in technical and business writing, quantity enhances quality.”3 Wrong! Get over the notion that longer is better. Conciseness is what counts in business. The ability to prepare concise, audience-centered, and purposeful messages does not come naturally. Very few people, especially beginners, can sit down and compose a terrific letter or report without training. However, following a systematic process, studying model messages, and practicing the craft can make nearly anyone a successful business writer or speaker.

THE WRITING PROCESS FOR BUSINESS MESSAGES AND ORAL PRESENTATIONS

The writing process has three parts: prewriting, writing, and revising.

FIGURE 2.1

REWRITING

Analyzing Anticipating Adapting

Whether you are preparing an e-mail message, memo, letter, or oral presentation, the process will be easier if you follow a systematic plan. Our plan breaks the entire task into three separate phases: prewriting, writing, and revising. As you can see in Figure 2.1, however, the process is not always linear. It does not always proceed from Step 1 to Step 2; often the writer must circle back and repeat an earlier step. To illustrate the writing process, let’s say that you own a popular local McDonald’s franchise. At rush times, you face a problem. Customers complain about the chaotic multiple waiting lines to approach the service counter. You once saw two customers nearly get into a fistfight over cutting into a line. What’s more, customers often are so intent on looking for ways to improve their positions in line that they fail to examine the menu. Then they are undecided when their turn arrives. You want to convince other franchise owners that a single-line (serpentine) system would work better. You could telephone the other owners. But you want to present a serious argument with good points that they will remember and be willing to act on when they gather for their next district meeting. You decide to write a letter that you hope will win their support.

The Writing Process

WRITING

Researching Organizing Composing

EVISING

Revising Proofreading Evaluating

Unit 2

The Writing Process

Spending adequate time on the first phase of the writing process results in less pain in the writing and revising stages. The first phase of the writing process involves analyzing information currently available, deciding what the purpose of your message is, anticipating the reaction of the receiver, and thinking of ways to adapt your message for the best reception.

Prewriting The first phase of the writing process involves analyzing and anticipating the audience and then adapting to that audience.

The first phase of the writing process prepares you to write. It involves analyzing the audience and your purpose for writing. The audience for your letter will be other franchise owners, some highly educated and others not. Your purpose in writing is to convince them that a change in policy would improve customer service. You are convinced that a single-line system, such as that used in banks, would reduce chaos and make customers happier because they would not have to worry about where they are in line. Prewriting also involves anticipating how your audience will react to your message. You’re sure that some of the other owners will agree with you, but others might fear that customers seeing a long single line might go elsewhere. In adapting your message to the audience, you try to think of the right words and the right tone that will win approval.

Writing The second phase of the writing process includes researching, organizing the message, and actually writing it.

The second phase involves researching, organizing, and then composing the message. In researching information for this letter, you would probably investigate other kinds of businesses that use single lines for customers. You might check out your competitors. What are Wendy’s and Burger King doing? You might do some calling to see whether other franchise owners are concerned about chaotic lines. Before writing to the entire group, you might brainstorm with a few owners to see what ideas they have for solving the problem. Once you have collected enough information, you would focus on organizing your letter. Should you start out by offering your solution? Or should you work up to it slowly, describing the problem, presenting your evidence, and then ending with the solution? The final step in the second phase of the writing process is actually composing the letter. Naturally, you’ll do it at your computer so that you can make revisions easily.

Revising The third phase of the writing process includes revising for clarity and readability, proofreading for errors, and evaluating for effectiveness.

The third phase of the process involves revising, proofreading, and evaluating your letter. After writing the first draft, you’ll spend a lot of time revising the message for clarity, conciseness, tone, and readability. Could parts of it be rearranged to make your point more effectively? This is the time when you look for ways to improve the organization and sound of your message. Next, you’ll spend time proofreading carefully to ensure correct spelling, grammar, punctuation, and format. The final phase involves evaluating your message to decide whether it accomplishes your goal.

Chapter 2

Creating Business Messages

Scheduling the Writing Process Although Figure 2.1 shows the three phases of the writing process equally, the time you spend on each varies depending on the complexity of the problem, the purpose, the audience, and your schedule. One expert gives these rough estimates for scheduling a project: • Prewriting—25 percent (planning and worrying) • Writing—25 percent (organizing and composing) • Revising—50 percent (45 percent revising and 5 percent proofreading) Because revising is the most important part of the writing process, it takes the most time.

These are rough guides, yet you can see that good writers spend most of their time on the final phase of revising and proofreading. Much depends, of course, on your project, its importance, and your familiarity with it. What’s critical to remember, though, is that revising is a major component of the writing process. It may appear that you perform one step and progress to the next, always following the same order. Most business writing, however, is not that rigid. Although writers perform the tasks described, the steps may be rearranged, abbreviated, or repeated. Some writers revise every sentence and paragraph as they go. Many find that new ideas occur after they’ve begun to write, causing them to back up, alter the organization, and rethink their plan.

ANALYZING THE PURPOSE AND THE AUDIENCE We’ve just taken a look at the total writing process. As you begin to develop your business writing skills, you should expect to follow this process closely. With experience, though, you’ll become like other good writers and presenters who alter, compress, and rearrange the steps as needed. At first, however, following a plan is very helpful. The remainder of this chapter covers the first phase of the writing process. You’ll learn to analyze the purpose for writing, anticipate how your audience will react, and adapt your message to the audience.

Identifying Your Purpose

The primary purpose of most business messages is to inform or to persuade; the secondary purpose is to promote goodwill.

As you begin to compose a message, ask yourself two important questions: (1) Why am I sending this message? (2) What do I hope to achieve? Your responses will determine how you organize and present your information. Your message may have primary and secondary purposes. For college work your primary purpose may be merely to complete the assignment; secondary purposes might be to make yourself look good and to get a good grade. The primary purposes for sending business messages are typically to inform and to persuade. A secondary purpose is to promote goodwill: you and your organization want to look good in the eyes of your audience.

Selecting the Best Channel

Choosing an appropriate channel depends on the importance of the message, the feedback required, the need for a permanent record, the cost, and the degree of formality needed.

After identifying the purpose of your message, you need to select the most appropriate communication channel. Some information is most efficiently and effectively delivered orally. Other messages should be written, and still others are best delivered electronically. Whether to set up a meeting, send a message by e-mail, or write a report depends on some of the following factors: • Importance of the message • Amount and speed of feedback and interactivity required • Necessity of a permanent record • Cost of the channel • Degree of formality desired

Unit 2

FIGURE 2.2

Choosing Communication Channels

The Writing Process

Channel

Best Use

Face-to-face conversation

When you need a rich, interactive medium to be persuasive, deliver bad news, share a personal message, or seek an immediate response.

Telephone call

When you need to deliver or gather information quickly, when nonverbal cues are unimportant, and when you cannot meet in person.

Voice mail message

When you wish to leave important or routine information that the receiver can respond to when convenient.

Fax

When your message must cross time zones or international boundaries, when a written record is significant, or when speed is important.

E-mail

When you need feedback but not immediately. Insecurity makes it problematic for personal, emotional, or private messages. Effective for communicating with a large, dispersed audience.

Face-to-face group meeting

When group decisions and consensus are important. Inefficient for merely distributing information.

Video- or teleconference

When group consensus and interaction are important but members are geographically dispersed.

Memo

When you want a written record to explain policies clearly, discuss procedures, or collect information within an organization.

Letter

When you need a written record of correspondence with customers, the government, suppliers, or others outside an organization.

Report or proposal

When you are delivering considerable data internally or externally.

An interesting theory, called media richness, describes the extent to which a channel or medium recreates or represents all the information available in the original message. A richer medium, such as face-to-face conversation, permits more interactivity and feedback. A leaner medium, such as a report or proposal, presents a flat, onedimensional message. Richer media enable the sender to provide more verbal and visual cues, as well as allow the sender to tailor the message to the audience. Many factors help you decide which of the channels shown in Figure 2.2 is most appropriate for delivering a workplace message.

Switching to Faster Channels

Channels of choice today must be fast, cheap, and easy.

Technology and competition continue to accelerate the pace of business today. As a result, communicators are switching to ever-faster means of exchanging information. In the past business messages within organizations were delivered largely by hard-copy memos. Responses would typically take a couple of days. However, that’s too slow for today’s communicators. They want answers and action now! Cell phones, instant messaging, faxes, Web sites, and especially e-mail can deliver that information much faster than can traditional channels of communication. Within many organizations, hard-copy memos are still written, especially for messages that require persuasion, permanence, or formality. However, the channel of choice for corporate communicators today is clearly e-mail. It’s fast, cheap, and easy. Thus, fewer hard-copy memos are being written. Fewer letters to customers are also being written. That’s because many customer service functions can now be served through Web sites or by e-mail. Whether your channel choice is e-mail, a hard-copy memo, or a report, you’ll be a more effective writer if you spend sufficient time in the prewriting phase.

Chapter 2

Creating Business Messages

Wireless channels increase the speed of communication and enable businesspeople to be productive away from the office. But too much toggling back and forth on wireless gadgets dilutes performance, increases irritability, and causes managers to become disorganized underachievers, says Harvard psychiatrist Dr. E. M. Hallowell. (Michelle Conlin, “Take A Vacation From Your BlackBerry,” BusinessWeek, 20 December 2004, 56.)

ANTICIPATING THE AUDIENCE A good writer anticipates the audience for a message: What is the reader like? How will that reader react to the message? Although you can’t always know exactly who the reader is, you can imagine some of the reader’s characteristics. Even writers of direct-mail sales letters have a general idea of the audience they wish to target. Picturing a typical reader is important in guiding what you write. One copywriter at Lands’ End, the catalog company, pictures his sister-in-law whenever he writes product descriptions for the catalog. By profiling your audience and shaping a message to respond to that profile, you are more likely to achieve your communication goals.

Profiling the Audience By profiling your audience before you write, you can identify the appropriate tone, language, and channel.

Visualizing your audience is a pivotal step in the writing process. The questions in Figure 2.3 will help you profile your audience. How much time you devote to answering these questions depends greatly on your message and its context. An analytical report that you compose for management or an oral presentation before a big group would, of course, demand considerable audience anticipation. On the other hand, an e-mail message to a coworker or a letter to a familiar supplier might require only a few moments of planning. No matter how short your message, though, spend some time thinking about the audience so that you can tailor your words to your readers or listeners. Remember that most readers or listeners will be thinking, What’s in it for me? or What am I supposed to do with this information?

Responding to the Profile Profiling your audience helps you make decisions about shaping the message. You’ll discover what kind of language is appropriate, whether you’re free to use specialized

Unit 2

FIGURE 2.3

Asking the Right Questions to Profile Your Audience

The Writing Process

Primary Audience Who is my primary reader or listener? What are my personal and professional relationships with that person? What position does the individual hold in the organization? How much does that person know about the subject? What do I know about that person’s education, beliefs, culture, and attitudes? Should I expect a neutral, positive, or negative response to my message? Secondary Audience Who might see or hear this message in addition to the primary audience? How do these people differ from the primary audience? Do I need to include more background information? How must I reshape my message to make it understandable and acceptable to others to whom it might be forwarded?

After profiling the audience, you can decide whether the receiver will be neutral, positive, or hostile toward your message.

technical terms, whether you should explain everything, and so on. You’ll decide whether your tone should be formal or informal, and you’ll select the most desirable channel. Imagining whether the receiver is likely to be neutral, positive, or negative will help you determine how to organize your message. Another advantage of profiling your audience is considering the possibility of a secondary audience. For example, let’s say you start to write an e-mail message to your supervisor, Sheila, describing a problem you’re having. Halfway through the message you realize that Sheila will probably forward this message to her boss, the vice president. Sheila will not want to summarize what you said; instead she will take the easy route and merely forward your e-mail. When you realize that the vice president will probably see this message, you decide to back up and use a more formal tone. You remove your inquiry about Sheila’s family, you reduce your complaints, and you tone down your language about why things went wrong. Instead, you provide more background information, and you are more specific in identifying items that the vice president might not recognize. Analyzing the task and anticipating the audience help you adapt your message so that you can create an efficient and effective message.

ADAPTING TO THE TASK AND AUDIENCE

Writers improve the tone of a message by emphasizing reader benefits, cultivating a “you” attitude, and using a conversational tone and inclusive language.

After analyzing your purpose and anticipating your audience, you must convey your purpose to that audience. Adaptation is the process of creating a message that suits your audience. One important aspect of adaptation is tone. Conveyed largely by the words in a message, tone reflects how a receiver feels upon reading or hearing a message. Skilled communicators create a positive tone in their messages by using a number of adaptive techniques, some of which are unconscious. These include spotlighting audience benefits, cultivating a “you” attitude, sounding conversational, and using positive expression. Additional adaptive techniques include using inclusive language and preferring plain language with familiar words.

Chapter 2

Creating Business Messages

Audience Benefits

Empathy involves shaping a message that appeals to the receiver.

Focusing on the audience sounds like a modern idea, but actually one of America’s early statesmen and authors recognized this fundamental writing principle over 200 years ago. In describing effective writing, Ben Franklin observed, “To be good, it ought to have a tendency to benefit the reader.”4 These wise words have become a fundamental guideline for today’s business communicators. Expanding on Franklin’s counsel, a contemporary communication consultant gives this solid advice to his business clients: “Always stress the benefit to the readers of whatever it is you’re trying to get them to do. If you can show them how you’re going to save them frustration or help them meet their goals, you have the makings of a powerful message.”5 Adapting your message to the receiver’s needs means putting yourself in that person’s shoes. It’s called empathy. Empathic senders think about how a receiver will decode a message. They try to give something to the receiver, solve the receiver’s problems, save the receiver’s money, or just understand the feelings and position of that person. Which of the following messages is more appealing to the audience?

Sender focus Audience focus

Sender focus Audience focus Sender focus Audience focus Sender focus

Audience focus

To enable us to update our stockholder records, we ask that the enclosed card be returned. So that you may promptly receive dividend checks and information related to your shares, please return the enclosed card. Our warranty becomes effective only when we receive an owner’s registration. Your warranty begins working for you as soon as you return your owner’s registration. We offer a CD language course that we are convinced will be rewarding if ordered immediately. The sooner you order your CD language program, the sooner the rewards will be yours. The Human Resources Department requires that the enclosed questionnaire be completed immediately so that we can allocate our training resource funds. By filling out the enclosed questionnaire, you can be one of the first employees to sign up for the new career development program.

“You” View Because receivers are most interested in themselves, emphasize the word you whenever possible.

Notice how many of the previous audience-focused messages included the word you. In concentrating on receiver benefits, skilled communicators naturally develop the “you” view. They emphasize second-person pronouns (you, your) instead of firstperson pronouns (I/we, us, our). Whether your goal is to inform, persuade, or promote goodwill, the catchiest words you can use are you and your. Compare the following examples.

“I/we” view “You” view

I have granted you permission to attend the communication seminar. You may attend the seminar to improve your communication skills.

Unit 2

“I/we” view “You” view “I/we” view “You” view

Emphasize you but don’t eliminate all I and we statements.

The Writing Process

We have shipped your order by UPS, and we are sure it will arrive in time for the sales promotion December 1. Your order will be delivered by UPS in time for your sales promotion December 1. I’m asking all employees to respond to the attached survey about working conditions. Because your ideas count, please complete the attached survey about working conditions.

Your goal is to focus on the reader. But second-person pronouns can be overused and misused. Readers appreciate genuine interest; on the other hand, they resent obvious attempts at manipulation. Some sales messages, for example, are guilty of overkill when they include you dozens of times in a direct-mail promotion. Furthermore, the word can sometimes create the wrong impression. Consider this statement: You cannot return merchandise until you receive written approval. The word you appears twice, but the reader feels singled out for criticism. In the following version the message is less personal and more positive: Customers may return merchandise with written approval. Another difficulty in emphasizing the “you” view and de-emphasizing we/I is that it may result in overuse of the passive voice. For example, to avoid We will give you (active voice), you might write You will be given (passive voice). The active voice in writing is generally preferred because it identifies who is doing the acting. You’ll learn more about active and passive voice in Chapter 3. In recognizing the value of the “you” attitude, writers do not have to sterilize their writing and totally avoid any first-person pronouns or words that show their feelings. Skilled communicators are able to convey sincerity, warmth, and enthusiasm by the words they choose. Don’t be afraid to use phrases such as I’m happy or We’re delighted, if you truly are. When speaking face-to-face, communicators show sincerity and warmth with nonverbal cues such as a smile and a pleasant voice tone. In letters, memos, and e-mail messages, however, only expressive words and phrases can show these feelings. These phrases suggest hidden messages that say to readers and customers You are important, I hear you, and I’m honestly trying to please you.

Conversational but Professional Strive for conversational expression, but also remember to be professional.

Most instant messages, e-mail messages, business letters, memos, and reports replace conversation. Thus, they are most effective when they convey an informal, conversational tone instead of a formal, pretentious tone. Workplace messages should not, however, become so casual that they sound low-level and unprofessional. Instant messaging (IM) enables coworkers to have informal, spontaneous conversations. Some companies have accepted IM as a serious workplace tool. With the increasing use of instant messaging and e-mail, however, a major problem has developed. Sloppy, unprofessional expression appears in many workplace messages. You’ll learn more about the dangers of e-mail in Chapter 5. At this point, though, we focus on the tone of the language. To project a professional image, you must sound educated and mature. Overuse of expressions such as totally awesome, you know, and like, as well as reliance on needless abbreviations (BTW for by the way), make a businessperson sound like a teenager. Professional messages do not include IM abbreviations, slang, sentence fragments, and chitchat. We urge you to strive for a warm, conversational tone that avoids low-level diction. Levels of diction, as shown in Figure 2.4, range from unprofessional through formal. Your goal is a warm, friendly tone that sounds professional. Although some writers are too casual, others are overly formal. To impress readers, they use big words,

Chapter 2

Creating Business Messages

FIGURE 2.4

Levels of Diction

Unprofessional (low-level diction)

Conversational (mid-level diction)

Formal (high-level diction)

badmouth

criticize

denigrate

guts

nerve

courage

pecking order

line of command

dominance hierarchy

ticked off

upset

provoked

rat on

inform

betray

rip off

steal

expropriate

Sentence Example If we just hang in there, we can snag the contract.

Sentence Example If we don’t get discouraged, we can win the contract.

Sentence Example If the principals persevere, they can secure the contract.

long sentences, legal terminology, and third-person constructions. Stay away from expressions such as the undersigned, the writer, and the affected party. You’ll sound more friendly with familiar pronouns such as I, we, and you. Study the following examples to see how to achieve a professional, yet conversational tone:

Unprofessional Improved Unprofessional

Improved Overly formal Conversational Overly formal

Conversational

Hey, boss, GR8 news! Firewall now installed!! BTW, check with me b4 announcing it. Mr. Smith, our new firewall software is now installed. Please check with me before announcing it. Look, dude, this report is totally bogus. And the figures don’t look kosher. Show me some real stats. Got sources? Because the figures in this report seem inaccurate, please submit the source statistics. All employees are herewith instructed to return the appropriately designated contracts to the undersigned. Please return your contracts to me. Pertaining to your order, we must verify the sizes that your organization requires prior to consignment of your order to our shipper. We’ll send your order as soon as we confirm the sizes you need.

Positive Language Positive language creates goodwill and gives more options to receivers.

The clarity and tone of a message are considerably improved if you use positive rather than negative language. Positive language generally conveys more information than negative language does. Moreover, positive messages are uplifting and pleasant to read. Positive wording tells what is and what can be done rather than what isn’t and what can’t be done. For example, Your order cannot be shipped by January 10, is not nearly as informative as Your order will be shipped January 20.

Unit 2

The Writing Process

Notice in the following examples how you can revise the negative tone to reflect a more positive impression.

Negative Positive Negative

We are unable to complete your order until we receive proof of your payment. We look forward to completing your order as soon as we receive your payment.

Positive

We are sorry that we must reject your application for credit at this point in time. At present we can serve you on a cash basis only.

Negative Positive

If you fail to pass the exam, you will not qualify. You’ll qualify if you pass the exam.

Negative

Although I’ve never had a paid position before, I have worked as an intern in an attorney’s office while completing my degree requirements. My experience in an attorney’s office and my recent training in legal procedures and computer applications can be assets to your organization.

Positive

Inclusive Language Sensitive communicators avoid language that excludes people.

A business writer who is alert and empathic will strive to use words that include rather than exclude people. Some words have been called sexist because they seem to exclude females. Notice the use of the masculine pronouns he and his in the following sentences: If a physician is needed, he will be called. Every renter must read his rental agreement carefully. These sentences illustrate an age-old grammatical rule called “common gender.” When a speaker or writer did not know the gender (sex) of an individual, masculine pronouns (such as he or his) were used. Masculine pronouns were understood to indicate both men and women. Today, however, sensitive writers and speakers replace common-gender pronouns with alternate inclusive constructions. You can use any of four alternatives.

Sexist Alternative 1 Alternative 2 Alternative 3 Alternative 4

Every attorney has ten minutes for his summation. All attorneys have ten minutes for their summations. (Use a plural noun and plural pronoun.) Attorneys have ten minutes for summations. (Omit the pronoun entirely.) Every attorney has ten minutes for a summation. (Use an article instead of a pronoun.) Every attorney has ten minutes for his or her summation. (Use both a masculine and a feminine pronoun.)

Note that the last alternative, which includes a masculine and a feminine pronoun, is wordy and awkward. Don’t use it too frequently. Other words are considered sexist because they suggest stereotypes. For example, the nouns fireman and mailman suggest that only men hold these positions. You can avoid offending your listener or reader by using neutral job titles.

Instead of This

Try This

Instead of This

Try This

chairman fireman mailman policeman

department head firefighter letter carrier police officer

stewardess waiter, waitress workman

flight attendant server worker

Chapter 2

Creating Business Messages

Plain English Inflated, unnatural writing that is intended to impress readers often confuses them.

Business communicators who are conscious of their audience try to use plain language that expresses clear meaning. They avoid showy words, long sentences, and confusing expressions. Some business, legal, and government documents, however, are written in an inflated style that obscures meaning. This style of writing has been given various terms such as legalese, federalese, bureaucratese, and doublespeak. Over the past 30 years, consumer groups and the government have joined forces in the Plain English movement. It encourages businesses, professional organizations, and government bodies to write any official document—such as a contract, warranty, insurance policy, or lease—in clear, concise language.6 As a result of the Plain English movement, numerous states have passed laws requiring that business contracts and public documents be written in plain language. One branch of the government, the Securities and Exchange Commission, has even written “A Plain English Handbook.” This booklet illustrates many of the principles of good writing, some of which are shown in Figure 2.5. Throughout this textbook we will be practicing these principles to help you improve your writing skills. Don’t be impressed by high-sounding language and legalese, such as herein, thereafter, hereinafter, whereas, and similar expressions. Your writing will be better if you use plain English.

Familiar Words Familiar words are more meaningful to readers and listeners.

Clear messages contain words that are familiar and meaningful to the receiver. How can we know what is meaningful to a given receiver? Although we can’t know with certainty, we can avoid long or unfamiliar words that have simpler synonyms. Whenever possible in business communication, substitute short, common, simple words. Don’t, however, give up a precise word if it says exactly what you mean.

FIGURE 2.5

Selected Principles of Plain English

• • • • • • • •

Use the active voice with strong verbs. Don’t be afraid of personal pronouns (e.g., I, we, and you). Bring abstractions down to earth (instead of asset, write one share of IBM common stock). Omit superfluous words (instead of in the event that, write if ). Use positive expression (instead of it is not unlike, write it is similar). Prefer short sentences and keep sentences parallel. Remove jargon and legalese. Keep the subject, verb, and object close together.

Source: U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, “A Plain English Handbook” (http://www.sec.gov/pdf/ handbook.pdf).

Unit 2

The Writing Process

Although you yourself may not use some of the words in the following list of unfamiliar words, you may see them in business documents. Remember that the simple alternatives shown here will make messages more readable for most people.

Less Familiar Words

Simple Alternatives

Less Familiar Words

Simple Alternatives

ascertain compensate conceptualize encompass hypothesize monitor operational

learn pay see include guess check working

perpetuate perplexing reciprocate remuneration stipulate terminate utilize

continue troubling return salary require end use

As you revise a message, you have a chance to correct any writing problems. Notice in Figures 2.6 and 2.7 what a difference revision makes. Before revision,

FIGURE 2.6

Improving a Faulty E-Mail Message

before revision

Fails to use conversational language Presents idea negatively instead of positively

Fails to use inclusive language

Does not use plain English

Emphasizes viewpoint of sender rather than that of audience Fails to use familiar language Uses negative language and fails to focus on “you” view Presents idea negatively instead of positively

Includes legalese and other expressions that do not sound conversational

Chapter 2

Creating Business Messages

the message failed to use familiar language. Many negative ideas could have been expressed positively. After revision the message is shorter, more conversational, and emphasizes the viewpoint of the reader rather than that of the sender. Which message do you think will be more likely to achieve its goal?

FIGURE 2.7

Revised E-Mail Message

after revision

Uses conversational language and plain English Presents idea positively instead of negatively Uses inclusive language and avoids sexist terms Focuses on audience benefits

Emphasizes audience benefits

Emphasizes “you” view in presenting options

Includes familiar words and a positive tone

Unit 2

The Writing Process

TECHNOLOGY IMPROVES YOUR BUSINESS WRITING Thus far, we’ve concentrated on the basics of business writing, especially the prewriting phase of analyzing, anticipating, and adapting to the intended audience. Another basic for beginning business communicators is learning to use technology to enhance their writing efforts. Although computers and software programs cannot actually do the writing for you, they provide powerful tools that make the process easier and the results more professional. Here are seven ways your computer can help you improve written documents, oral presentations, and even Web pages. Powerful writing tools can help you fight writer’s block, collect information, outline and organize ideas, improve correctness and precision, add graphics, design professional-looking documents, and collaborate.

Fighting Writer’s Block. Because word processors enable ideas to flow almost effortlessly from your brain to a screen, you can expect fewer delays resulting from writer’s block. You can compose rapidly, and you can experiment with structure and phrasing, later retaining and polishing your most promising thoughts. Many authors “sprint write,” recording unedited ideas quickly, to start the composition process and also to brainstorm for ideas on a project. Then, they tag important ideas and use computer outlining programs to organize those ideas into logical sequences.

The most valuable employees are able to find accurate information quickly and cheaply by using commercial databases (such as EBSCO, Lexis, or InfoTrac) or by searching the Web.

Collecting Information Electronically. As a knowledge worker in an information economy, you will need to find information quickly. Much of the world’s information is now accessible by computer. You can locate the titles of books, as well as full-text articles from magazines, newspapers, and government publications. Massive amounts of information are available from the Internet, CD-ROMs, and online services. Through specialized information-retrieval services (such as EBSCO Business Source Premier, or LexisNexis), you can have at your fingertips up-to-the-minute legal, scientific, scholarly, and business information. The most amazing source of electronic information is the Web, with its links to sites around the world—some incredibly helpful and others worthless. Outlining and Organizing Ideas. Many word processors include some form of “outliner,” a feature that enables you to divide a topic into a hierarchical order with main points and subpoints. Your computer keeps track of the levels of ideas automatically so that you can easily add, cut, or rearrange points in the outline. This feature is particularly handy when you’re preparing a report or organizing a presentation. Some programs even enable you to transfer your outline directly to slide frames to be used as visual aids in a talk.

Savvy business communicators rely heavily on their word processing programs to correct spelling, typographical, and even grammatical errors.

Improving Correctness and Precision. Nearly all word processing programs today provide features that catch and correct spelling and typographical errors. Poor spellers and weak typists universally bless their spell checkers for repeatedly saving them from humiliation. Many word processing programs today also provide grammar checkers that can detect errors in capitalization, word use (such as it’s, its), double negatives, verb use, subject–verb agreement, sentence structure, number agreement, number style, and other writing faults. However, most grammar programs don’t actually correct the errors they detect. You must know how to do that. Still, grammar checkers can be very helpful. In addition to spelling and grammar programs, thesaurus programs help you choose precise words that say exactly what you intend. Adding Graphics for Emphasis. Your letters, memos, and reports may be improved by the addition of graphs and artwork to clarify and illustrate data. You can import charts, diagrams, and illustrations created in database, spreadsheet, graphics, or draw-and-paint programs. Moreover, ready-made pictures, called clip art, can be used to symbolize or illustrate ideas. Designing and Producing Professional-looking Documents, Presentations, and Web Pages. Many word processing programs today include a large selection of scalable fonts (for different character sizes and styles), italics, boldface, symbols, and styling techniques to aid you in producing consistent formatting and professional-looking results. Moreover, today’s presentation software enables you to incorporate showy slide effects, color, sound, pictures, and even movies into your talks for management or

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customers. Web document builders such as FrontPage and Dreamweaver also help you design and construct Web pages. Using Collaborative Software for Team Writing. Assume you are part of a group preparing a lengthy proposal to secure a government contract. You expect to write one segment of the proposal yourself and help revise parts written by others. Special word processing programs with commenting, strikeout, and revision features allow you to revise easily and to identify each team member’s editing. Some collaborative programs, called groupware, also include decision-support tools to help groups generate, organize, and analyze ideas more efficiently than they could in traditional meetings.

SUMMING UP AND LOOKING FORWARD In this chapter you learned that good business writing is audience centered, purposeful, and economical. To achieve these results, business communicators typically follow a systematic writing process. This process includes three phases: prewriting, writing, and revising. In the prewriting phase, communicators analyze the task and the audience. They select an appropriate channel to deliver the message, and they consider ways to adapt their message to the task and the audience. Effective techniques include spotlighting audience benefits, cultivating the “you” view, striving to use conversational language, and expressing ideas positively. Good communicators also use inclusive language, plain

English, and familiar words. Today’s computer software provides wonderful assistance for business communicators. Technological tools help you fight writer’s block, collect information, outline and organize ideas, improve correctness and precision, add graphics, design professional-looking documents and presentations, and collaborate on team writing projects. The next chapter continues to examine the writing process. It presents additional techniques to help you become a better writer. You’ll learn how to eliminate repetitious and redundant wording, as well as how to avoid wordy prepositional phrases, long lead-ins, needless adverbs, and misplaced modifiers.

CRITICAL THINKING 1. How can the three-phase writing process help the writer of a business report as well as the writer of an oral presentation? 2. If adapting your tone to the receiving audience and developing reader benefits are so important, why do we see so much writing that fails to reflect these suggestions? 3. Discuss the following statement: The English language is a land mine—it is filled with terms that

are easily misinterpreted as derogatory and others that are blatantly insulting. . . . Being fair and objective is not enough; employers must also appear to be so. 4. Why is writing in a natural, conversational tone difficult for many people? 5. If computer software is increasingly able to detect writing errors, can business communicators stop studying writing techniques? Why?

CHAPTER REVIEW 6. How is business writing different from academic and other writing?

7. List the three phases of the writing process and summarize what happens in each phase. Which phase requires the most time?

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8. What five factors are important in selecting an appropriate channel to deliver a message? What makes one channel richer than another?

9. How does profiling the audience help a business communicator prepare a message?

10. What is meant by audience benefit? Give an original example.

11. List three specific techniques for developing a warm, friendly, and conversational tone in business messages.

12. Why does positive language usually tell more than negative language? Give an original example.

13. List five examples of sexist pronouns and nouns.

14. List at least five principles of the Plain English movement.

15. Name seven ways your computer can help you improve written documents.

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WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES Selecting Communication Channels Using Figure 2.2, suggest the best communication channels for the following messages. Assume that all channels shown are available. Be prepared to explain your choices. 16. You need to know whether Elizabeth in Reprographics can produce a special brochure for your department within two days.

17. A prospective client in Italy wants price quotes for a number of your products—pronto!

18. As assistant to the vice president, you are to investigate the possibility of developing internship programs with several nearby colleges and universities. 19. You must respond to a notice from the Internal Revenue Service insisting that you did not pay the correct amount for last quarter’s employer’s taxes. 20. As a manager, you must inform an employee that continued tardiness is jeopardizing her job.

21. Members of your task force must meet to discuss ways to improve communication among 5,000 employees at 32 branches of your large company. Task force members are from Los Angeles, Orlando, San Antonio, White Plains, and Columbus (Ohio).

22. As department manager, you need to inform nine staff members of a safety training session scheduled for the following month.

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Audience Benefits and the “You” View Revise the following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the “you” view. 23. Our safety policy forbids us from renting power equipment to anyone who cannot demonstrate proficiency in its use. 24. To prevent us from possibly losing large sums of money in stolen identity schemes, our bank now requires verification of any large check presented for immediate payment.

25. So that we may bring our customer records up-to-date and eliminate the expense of duplicate mailings, we are asking you to complete and return the enclosed card.

26. For just $139 per person, we have arranged a two-night getaway package to Orlando that includes hotel accommodations, Pleasure Island tickets, and complimentary breakfasts.

27. We find it necessary to request all employees to complete the enclosed questionnaire so that we may develop a master schedule for summer vacations. 28. We are offering an in-house training program for employees who want to improve their writing skills. 29. To enable us to continue our policy of selling name brands at discount prices, we can give store credit but we cannot give cash refunds on returned merchandise.

30. We regret to announce that the bookstore will distribute free iPods only to students in classes in which the instructor has requested these devices as learning tools.

Conversational, Professional Tone Revise the following sentences to make the tone conversational yet professional. 31. As per your recent request, the undersigned is happy to inform you that we are sending you forthwith the brochures you requested. 32. Pursuant to your letter of the 12th, please be advised that your shipment was sent June 9. 33. BTW, Amy was pretty ticked off because the manager accused her of ripping off office supplies. 34. Hey, Sam! Look, I need you to pound on Lisa so we can drop this budget thingy in her lap.

35. Kindly be informed that your vehicle has been determined to require corrective work.

36. He didn’t have the guts to badmouth her 2 her face.

37. The undersigned respectfully reminds affected individuals that employees desirous of changing their health plans must do so before December 30.

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Positive Expression Revise the following statements to make them more positive. 38. It is impossible for the contractor to complete the footings until the soil is no longer soggy.

39. We must withhold authorizing payment of your consultant’s fees because the Legal Committee claims your work is not completed.

40. In the complaint that you sent in your July 2 letter, you claim that our representative was hostile and refused to help you.

41. Plans for the new health center cannot move forward without full community support.

42. If you do not fill in all blanks in the application form, we cannot issue a password.

43. You won’t be disappointed with your new smart phone.

Inclusive Language Revise the following sentences to eliminate terms that are considered sexist or that suggest stereotypes. 44. Every employee must wear his ID badge on the job.

45. A policeman is responsible for covering his territory.

46. The conference will include special excursions for the wives of executives.

47. Does each salesman have his own PDA loaded with his special sales information?

48. Serving on the panel are a lady veterinarian, a female doctor, two businessmen, and an Indian CPA.

Plain English and Familiar Words Revise the following sentences to use plain expression and more familiar words. 49. The proposal stipulates that all other agreements be terminated before the plan begins to be operational.

50. Our attorney ascertained that we must compensate the consultants despite perplexing results.

51. We appear to have some slippage in the development schedule, which may have an adverse reaction vis-à-vis the revenue picture.

52. Although our CPA monitored most transactions, she didn’t know that our business encompassed so many client services.

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ACTIVITY INFOTRAC

2.1 Understanding Plain English You work in a small financial services organization. Your boss is new to her job, and she wants to learn more about plain English in relation to investments and prospectus information. She doesn’t have the time or expertise to do much Internet research. She asks you to help her. Your Task. Using InfoTrac, find an article that explains how the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) wants writers to use plain English. (Hint: Use this search term: “Plain English AND SEC.” One good article is by Rick Lowry, published in the Sacramento Business Journal. You might find other good InfoTrac articles with the search term “Plain English.”) In a memo to Eileen Fowler, summarize your findings, listing at least five rules for text and five for graphics. See Chapter 5 for format suggestions. You could begin your memo with, As you suggested, I am submitting the following information about. . . . Be sure to identify the authors and articles you summarize.

VIDEO RESOURCE Video Library 1, Building Workplace Communication Skills. Your instructor may show you a video titled Guffey’s 3-x-3 Writing Process Develops Fluent Workplace Skills. It shows all three phases of the writing

process so that you can see how it guides the development of a complete message in a workplace environment. This video illustrates concepts in Chapters 2, 3, and 4.

GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHECKUP—2 Pronouns Review Sections 1.07–1.09 in the Grammar Review section of the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook. Then study each of the following statements. In the space provided, write the word that completes the statement correctly and the number of the G/M principle illustrated. When you finish, compare your responses with those provided near the end of the book. If your responses differ, study carefully the principles in parentheses.

its

(1.09d)

Example

The Personnel Resources Committee must submit (its, their) findings soon.

1. We expected Mrs. Johnson to call. Was it (she, her) who left the message? 2. Someone on the men’s basketball team left (his, their) car lights on. 3. A serious disagreement between management and (he, him) caused his resignation. 4. Does anyone in the office know for (who, whom) these CDs were ordered? 5. It looks as if (her’s, hers) is the only report that cites electronic sources. 6. Sloan asked my friend and (I, me, myself) to help her complete the report. 7. My friend and (I, me, myself) were also asked to work on Saturday. 8. Both printers were sent for repairs, but (yours, your’s) will be returned shortly. 9. Give the budget figures to (whoever, whomever) asked for them. 10. Everyone except the broker and (I, me, myself) claimed a share of the commission. 11. No one knows that problem better than (he, him, himself). 12. Investment brochures and information were sent to (we, us) shareholders. 13. If any one of the women tourists has lost (their, her) scarf, she should see the driver. 14. Neither the glamour nor the excitement of the position had lost (its, it’s, their) appeal. 15. Any new subscriber may cancel (their, his or her) subscription within the first month.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHALLENGE—2 Revise the following interoffice memo that has faults in grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, word use, and number form. Also pay attention to developing a conversational but professional tone, using familiar words, and striving for positive expression. Use standard proofreading marks (see Appendix B) to correct the errors or revise this document at your computer using the file at the Guffey Xtra! Web site. When you finish, your instructor may show a possible revision of this memo.

MADISON FINANCIAL SERVICES Interoffice Memo DATE:

July 20, 200x

TO:

Jeannine Horn, Manager, Human Resources

FROM:

Douglas Waterson, CEO

SUBJECT:

Losing Payroll Data Because of Hacking

It has come to the attention of the writer that on July 18th the software database maintained by Quantum data services for the purpose of preparing payroll for our employees was accessed illegally. We did not learn about the “hacking” of the system until yesterday when Quantum made a examination of their system. Our employees payroll records include social security #s, employees addresses and payroll information such as various deductions. A review of the five hundred sixty-six names in the database shows no damage to the data or modification of the data. We don’t think their was any malicious intention to destroy or annihilate the data. Individual bank account information and such like for employees are not part of the file. It appears that names may have been copied however no other information was lost. The computers holding the database were immediatley taken off-line, and meticulously examined to ascertain whether any data were found to be corrupted. New more extensive firewalls have been added, to provide better Security. However, because of these changes, payroll records will not be available before July 24th. A letter from myself to all employees as well as the same message on the company Intranet, will henceforth go out this p.m.. Pertaining to this matter, please do what you can to minimize concern among employees. Ensure them that there personal data have not been harvested, and that we have took appropriate steps to prevent and avoid future hacking. I appreciate your help.

Communication Workshops, such as the one provided here, offer insight into special business communication topics and skills not discussed in the chapters. These workshops cover ethics, technology, career skills, collaboration, and other workplace topics. Each workshop includes a career application with a case study or problem to help you develop skills relevant to the workshop topic.

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CAREER SKILLS SHARPENING YOUR SKILLS FOR CRITICAL THINKING, PROBLEM SOLVING, AND DECISION MAKING Gone are the days when management expected workers to check their brains at the door and do only as they were told. Today, you’ll be expected to use your brains in thinking critically. You’ll be solving problems and making decisions. Much of this book is devoted to helping you solve problems and communicate those decisions to management, fellow workers, clients, the government, and the public. Faced with a problem or an issue, most of us do a lot of worrying before separating the issues or making a decision. You can change all that worrying to directed thinking by channeling it into the following procedure: •

Identify and clarify the problem. Your first task is to recognize that a problem exists. Some problems are big and unmistakable, such as failure of an air-freight delivery service to get packages to customers on time. Other problems may be continuing annoyances, such as regularly running out of toner for an office copy machine. The first step in reaching a solution is pinpointing the problem area.

•

Gather information. Learn more about the problem situation. Look for possible causes and solutions. This step may mean checking files, calling suppliers, or brainstorming with fellow workers. For example, the air-freight delivery service would investigate the tracking systems of the commercial airlines carrying its packages to determine what is going wrong.

•

Evaluate the evidence. Where did the information come from? Does it represent various points of view? What biases could be expected from each source? How accurate is the information gathered? Is it fact or opinion? For example, it is a fact that packages are missing; it is an opinion that they are merely lost and will turn up eventually.

•

Consider alternatives and implications. Draw conclusions from the gathered evidence and pose solutions. Then weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each alternative. What are the costs, benefits, and consequences? What are the obstacles, and how can they be handled? Most important, what solution best serves your goals and those of your organization? Here’s where your creativity is especially important.

•

Choose and implement the best alternative. Select an alternative and put it into action. Then, follow through on your decision by monitoring the results of implementing your plan. The freight company decided to give its unhappy customers free delivery service to make up for the lost packages and downtime. Be sure to continue monitoring and adjusting the solution to ensure its effectiveness over time.

Career Application. Let’s return to the McDonald’s problem (discussed on page 33) in which some franchise owners are unhappy with the multiple lines for service. Customers don’t seem to know where to stand to be the next served. Tempers flare when aggressive customers cut in line, and other customers spend so much time protecting their places in line that they fail to study the menu. Then they don’t know what to order when they approach the counter. As a franchise owner, you would like to find a solution to this problem. Any changes in procedures, however, must be approved by all the McDonald’s owners in a district. That means you’ll have to get a majority to agree. You know that McDonald’s management feels that the multiline system accommodates higher volumes of customers more quickly than a single-line system. Moreover, the problem of perception is important. What happens when customers open the door to a

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restaurant and see a long single line? Do they stick around to learn how fast the line is moving?

Your Task •

Individually or with a team, use the critical thinking steps outlined here. Begin by clarifying the problem.

•

Where could you gather information to help you solve this problem? Would it be wise to see what your competitors are doing? How do banks handle customer lines? Airlines? Sports arenas?

•

Evaluate your findings and consider alternatives. What are the pros and cons of each alternative?

•

Within your team choose the best alternative. Present your recommendation to your class and give your reasons for choosing it.

IMPROVING WRITING TECHNIQUES As technological advances

OBJECTIVES

such as e-mail allow us to communicate more rapidly,

• Contrast formal and informal methods of researching data and generating ideas for messages.

more often, and with

• Specify how to organize information into outlines.

greater numbers of people,

• Compare direct and indirect patterns for organizing ideas.

writing is becoming a larger

• Distinguish components of complete and effective sentences.

part of everyone’s job.

• Emphasize important ideas and de-emphasize unimportant ones.

”

Max Messmer, if chairman and CEO of Robert Half International1

• Use active voice, passive voice, and parallelism effectively in messages. • Develop sentence unity by avoiding zigzag writing, mixed constructions, and misplaced modifiers. • Identify strategies for achieving paragraph coherence and composing the first draft of a message.

Even in an age filled with technological advances, says author and CEO Max Messmer, proficiency in written communication is highly valued. Developing that proficiency takes instruction and practice. You’ve already learned some techniques for writing effectively, such as using a conversational tone, positive language, plain expression, and familiar words. This chapter presents additional writing tips that help you gather information, organize it into outlines, and compose sentences. In Chapter 2 we focused on the prewriting stage of the writing process. Figure 3.1 reviews the entire process. This chapter addresses the second stage, which includes researching, organizing, and composing.

RESEARCHING TO COLLECT NEEDED INFORMATION The second stage of the writing process involves research, which means collecting the necessary information to prepare a message.

No smart businessperson would begin writing a message before collecting the needed information. We call this collection process research, a rather formal-sounding term. For simple documents, though, the process can be quite informal. Research is necessary before beginning to write because the information you collect helps shape the message. Discovering significant data after a message is completed often means

PHOTOS: © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS; © PHOTODISC COLLECTION/GETTY IMAGES; © PHOTODISC COLLECTION/GETTY IMAGES

“

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Improving Writing Techniques

FIGURE 3.1

The Writing Process

REWRITING

WRITING

EVISING

Revising Proofreading Evaluating

Researching Organizing Composing

Analyzing Anticipating Adapting

starting over and reorganizing. To avoid frustration and inaccurate messages, collect information that answers this primary question: • What does the receiver need to know about this topic? When the message involves action, search for answers to secondary questions: What is the receiver to do? How is the receiver to do it? When must the receiver do it? What will happen if the receiver doesn’t do it?

• • • •

Whenever your communication problem requires more information than you have in your head or at your fingertips, you must conduct research. This research may be formal or informal.

Formal Research Methods Formal research may include searching libraries and electronic databases or investigating primary sources (interviews, surveys, and experimentation).

Long reports and complex business problems generally require some use of formal research methods. Let’s say you are a market specialist for Coca-Cola, and your boss asks you to evaluate the impact on Coke sales of private-label or generic soft drinks (the bargain-basement-brand knockoffs sold at Kmart and other outlets). Or, let’s assume you must write a term paper for a college class. Both tasks require more data than you have in your head or at your fingertips. To conduct formal research, you could: • Search manually. You’ll find helpful background and supplementary information through manual searching of resources in public and college libraries. These

As you begin any writing project, you will probably want to conduct formal or informal research by gathering necessary background information. You can look in the files, talk to your boss, interview the target audience, or brainstorm with colleagues for ideas.

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•

Good sources of primary information are interviews, surveys, questionnaires, and focus groups.

•

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traditional sources include books and newspaper, magazine, and journal articles. Other sources are encyclopedias, reference books, handbooks, dictionaries, directories, and almanacs. Access electronically. Much of the printed material just described is now available from the Internet, databases, or CDs that can be accessed by computer. College and public libraries subscribe to retrieval services that permit you to access most periodic literature. You can also find extraordinary amounts of information by searching the Web. You’ll learn more about using electronic sources in Chapters 9 and 10. Go to the source. For firsthand information, go directly to the source. For the Coca-Cola report, for example, you could find out what consumers really think by conducting interviews or surveys, by putting together questionnaires, or by organizing focus groups. Formal research includes structured sampling and controls that enable investigators to make accurate judgments and valid predictions. Conduct scientific experiments. Instead of merely asking for the target audience’s opinion, scientific researchers present choices with controlled variables. Let’s say, for example, that Coca-Cola wants to determine at what price and under what circumstances consumers would switch from Coca-Cola to a generic brand. The results of such experimentation would provide valuable data for managerial decision making.

Because formal research techniques are particularly necessary for reports, you’ll study resources and techniques more extensively in Chapters 9 and 10.

Informal Research and Idea Generation

Informal research may include looking in the files, talking with your boss, interviewing the target audience, conducting an informal survey, and brainstorming.

Most routine tasks—such as composing e-mail messages, memos, letters, informational reports, and oral presentations—require data that you can collect informally. Here are some techniques for collecting informal data and for generating ideas: • Look in the files. If you are responding to an inquiry, you often can find the answer to the inquiry by investigating the company files or by consulting colleagues. • Talk with your boss. Get information from the individual making the assignment. What does that person know about the topic? What slant should be taken? What other sources would he or she suggest? • Interview the target audience. Consider talking with individuals at whom the message is aimed. They can provide clarifying information that tells you what they want to know and how you should shape your remarks. • Conduct an informal survey. Gather unscientific but helpful information via questionnaires or surveys. In preparing a memo report predicting the success of a proposed fitness center, for example, circulate a questionnaire asking for employee reactions. • Brainstorm for ideas. Alone or with others, discuss ideas for the writing task at hand, and record at least a dozen ideas without judging them. Small groups are especially fruitful in brainstorming because people spin ideas off one another.

ORGANIZING TO SHOW RELATIONSHIPS Writers of well-organized messages group similar ideas so that readers can see relationships and follow arguments.

Once you’ve collected data, you must find some way to organize it. Organizing includes two processes: grouping and patterning. Well-organized messages group similar items; ideas follow a sequence that helps the reader understand relationships and accept the writer’s views. Unorganized messages proceed free-form, jumping from one thought to another. Such messages fail to emphasize important points. Puzzled readers can’t see how the pieces fit together, and they become frustrated and irritated. Many communication experts regard poor organization as the greatest failing of business writers. Two simple techniques can help you organize data: the scratch list and the outline.

Chapter 3

FIGURE 3.2

TITLE: MAJOR IDEA OR PURPOSE I. FIRST MAJOR COMPONENT A. FIRST SUBPOINT 1. DETAIL, ILLUSTRATION, 2. DETAIL, ILLUSTRATION, B. SECOND SUBPOINT 1. 2. II. SECOND MAJOR COMPONENT A. FIRST SUBPOINT 1. 2. B. SECOND SUBPOINT 1. 2.

Improving Writing Techniques

Format for an Outline

Tips for Making Outlines EVIDENCE EVIDENCE

• • • •

Define the main topic in the title. Divide the topic into main points, preferably three to five. Break the components into subpoints. Don’t put a single item under a major component if you have only one subpoint; integrate it with the main item above it or reorganize. • Strive to make each component exclusive (no overlapping). • Use details, illustrations, and evidence to support subpoints.

Outlining Two simple ways to organize data are the scratch list and the outline.

In developing simple messages, some writers make a quick scratch list of the topics they wish to cover. They then compose a message at their computers directly from the scratch list. Most writers, though, need to organize their ideas—especially if the project is complex—into a hierarchy, such as an outline. The beauty of preparing an outline is that it gives you a chance to organize your thinking before you get bogged down in word choice and sentence structure. Figure 3.2 shows a format for an outline.

The Direct Pattern Business messages typically follow either (1) the direct pattern, with the main idea first, or (2) the indirect pattern, with the main idea following an explanation and evidence.

After developing an outline, you will need to decide where in the message you will place the main idea. Placing the main idea at the beginning of the message is called the direct pattern. In the direct pattern the main idea comes first, followed by details, an explanation, or evidence. Placing the main idea later in the message (after the details, explanation, or evidence) is called the indirect pattern. The pattern you select is determined by how you expect the audience to react to the message, as shown in Figure 3.3. In preparing to write any message, you need to anticipate the audience’s reaction to your ideas and frame your message accordingly. When you expect the reader to be pleased, mildly interested, or, at worst, neutral—use the direct pattern. That is, put your main point—the purpose of your message—in the first or second sentence. Compare the direct and indirect patterns in the following memo openings. Notice how long it takes to get to the main idea in the indirect opening.

Indirect Opening

Direct Opening

For the past several years, we have had a continuing problem scheduling vacations, personal days, and sick time. Our Human Resources people struggle with unscheduled absences. After considerable investigation, the Management Council has decided to try a centralized paid time-off program starting January 1. This memo will describe its benefits and procedures.

This memo describes the benefits and procedures of a new paid time-off program to begin January 1.

Unit 2

FIGURE 3.3

Audience Response Determines Pattern of Organization

If mildly interested

If pleased

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If neutral

If unwilling or uninterested

Direct Pattern

If displeased or disappointed

If hostile

Indirect Pattern

Good news or main idea

Bad news or main idea

Frontloading saves the reader’s time, establishes the proper frame of mind, and prevents frustration.

Explanations, background, and details should follow the direct opening. What’s important is getting to the main idea quickly. This direct method, also called frontloading, has at least three advantages: • Saves the reader’s time. Many of today’s businesspeople can devote only a few moments to each message. Messages that take too long to get to the point may lose their readers along the way. • Sets a proper frame of mind. Learning the purpose up front helps the reader put the subsequent details and explanations in perspective. Without a clear opening, the reader may be thinking, Why am I being told this? • Prevents frustration. Readers forced to struggle through excessive verbiage before reaching the main idea become frustrated. They resent the writer. Poorly organized messages create a negative impression of the writer. This frontloading technique works best with audiences who are likely to be receptive to or at least not likely to disagree with what you have to say. Typical business messages that follow the direct pattern include routine requests and responses, orders and acknowledgments, nonsensitive memos, e-mail messages, informational reports, and informational oral presentations. All these tasks have one element in common: none has a sensitive subject that will upset the reader.

The Indirect Pattern The indirect pattern works best when the audience may be uninterested, unwilling, displeased, or even hostile.

When you expect the audience to be uninterested, unwilling, displeased, or perhaps even hostile, the indirect pattern is more appropriate. In this pattern you don’t reveal the main idea until after you have offered an explanation and evidence. This approach works well with three kinds of messages: (1) bad news, (2) ideas that require persuasion, and (3) sensitive news, especially when being transmitted to superiors. The indirect pattern has these benefits: • Respects the feelings of the audience. Bad news is always painful, but the trauma can be lessened when the receiver is prepared for it.

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Improving Writing Techniques

•

Encourages a fair hearing. Messages that may upset the reader are more likely to be read when the main idea is delayed. Beginning immediately with a piece of bad news or a persuasive request, for example, may cause the receiver to stop reading or listening. Minimizes a negative reaction. A reader’s overall reaction to a negative message is generally improved if the news is delivered gently.

Typical business messages that could be developed indirectly include letters and memos that refuse requests, deny claims, and deny credit. Persuasive requests, sales letters, sensitive messages, and some reports and oral presentations also benefit from the indirect strategy. You’ll learn more about how to use the indirect pattern in Chapters 7 and 8. In summary, business messages may be organized directly, with the main idea first, or indirectly, with the main idea delayed. Although these two patterns cover many communication problems, they should be considered neither universal nor inviolate. Every business transaction is distinct. Some messages are mixed: part good news, part bad; part goodwill, part persuasion. In upcoming chapters you’ll practice applying the direct and indirect patterns in typical situations. Then, you’ll have the skills and confidence to evaluate communication problems and vary these patterns depending on the goals you wish to achieve.

WRITING EFFECTIVE SENTENCES

Sentences must have subjects and verbs and must make sense.

After deciding how to organize your message, you are ready to begin composing it. As you create your first draft, you’ll be working at the sentence level of composition. Although you’ve used sentences all your life, you may be unaware of how they can be shaped and arranged to express your ideas most effectively. First, let’s review some basic sentence elements. Complete sentences have subjects and verbs and make sense. SUBJECT

VERB

SUBJECT VERB ⎧

⎨

⎩

⎧ ⎪ ⎨ ⎪ ⎩

⎧ ⎨ ⎩ ⎧ ⎪ ⎨ ⎪ ⎩

Employees expect vacations. Our company has a paid time-off plan. Clauses have subjects and verbs, but phrases do not.

Clauses and phrases, the key building blocks of sentences, are related groups of words. Clauses have subjects and verbs; phrases do not. PHRASE

PHRASE

⎧ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎨ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎩

The CEO of our company sent an e-mail to all staff members. PHRASE

PHRASE

⎧ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎨ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎩

After reading the message, we learned about the paid time-off plan. CLAUSE

CLAUSE

⎧ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎨ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎩

Because the plan sounds good, most employees accepted it immediately. CLAUSE

CLAUSE

⎧ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎨ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎩

⎧ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎨ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎩

When companies use a paid time-off plan, they have a stable workforce. Independent clauses may stand alone; dependent clauses may not.

Clauses may be divided into two groups: independent and dependent. Independent clauses are grammatically complete. Dependent clauses depend for their meaning on independent clauses. In the two preceding examples, the clauses beginning with Because and When are dependent. Dependent clauses are often introduced by words such as if, when, because, and as. INDEPENDENT CLAUSE

⎧ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎨ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎩

They have a stable workforce. DEPENDENT CLAUSE

INDEPENDENT CLAUSE

⎧ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎨ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎩

⎧ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎨ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎪ ⎩

When companies use a paid time-off plan, they have a stable workforce.

Unit 2

The Writing Process

By learning to distinguish phrases, independent clauses, and dependent clauses, you’ll be able to punctuate sentences correctly and avoid three basic sentence faults: the fragment, the run-on sentence, and the comma splice.

Avoiding Sentence Fragments Fragments are broken-off parts of sentences and should not be punctuated as sentences.

One of the most serious errors a writer can make is punctuating a fragment as if it were a complete sentence. A fragment is a broken-off part of a sentence. Fragment Revision Fragment Revision

When two independent clauses are run together without punctuation or a coordinating conjunction, a run-on (fused) sentence results.

Because most transactions require a permanent record. Good writing skills are critical. Because most transactions require a permanent record, good writing skills are critical. The recruiter requested a writing sample. Even though the candidate seemed to communicate well. The recruiter requested a writing sample, even though the candidate seemed to communicate well.

Fragments often can be identified by the words that introduce them—words such as although, as, because, even, except, for example, if, instead of, since, such as, that, which, and when. These words introduce dependent clauses. Make sure such clauses always connect to independent clauses.

Avoiding Run-On (Fused) Sentences A sentence with two independent clauses must be joined by a coordinating conjunction (and, or, nor, but) or by a semicolon (;). Without a conjunction or a semicolon, a run-on sentence results. Run-on

Revision 1

Revision 2

Most job seekers present a printed résumé some are also using Web sites as electronic portfolios. Most job seekers present a printed résumé, but some are also using Web sites as electronic portfolios. Most job seekers present a printed résumé; some are also using Web sites as electronic portfolios.

Avoiding Comma-Splice Sentences When two independent clauses are joined by a comma without a conjunction, a comma splice results.

A comma splice results when a writer joins (splices together) two independent clauses with a comma. Independent clauses may be joined with a coordinating conjunction (and, or, nor, but) or a conjunctive adverb (however, consequently, therefore, and others). Notice that clauses joined by coordinating conjunctions require only a comma. Clauses joined by a coordinating adverb require a semicolon. Here are three ways to rectify a comma splice: Comma splice Revision 1 Revision 2 Revision 3

Some employees responded by e-mail, others picked up the telephone. Some employees responded by e-mail, and others picked up the telephone. Some employees responded by e-mail; however, others picked up the telephone. Some employees responded by e-mail; others picked up the telephone.

Chapter 3

Improving Writing Techniques

Controlling Sentence Length Sentences of 20 or fewer words have the most impact.

Because your goal is to communicate clearly, you’re better off limiting your sentences to about 20 or fewer words. The American Press Institute reports that reader comprehension drops off markedly as sentences become longer.2 Thus, in crafting your sentences, think about the relationship between sentence length and comprehension:

Sentence Length

Comprehension Rate

8 words 15 words 19 words 28 words

100% 90% 80% 50%

Instead of stringing together clauses with and, but, and however, break some of those complex sentences into separate segments. Business readers want to grasp ideas immediately. They can do that best when thoughts are separated into short sentences. On the other hand, too many monotonous short sentences will sound “grammar schoolish” and may bore or even annoy the reader. Strive for a balance between longer sentences and shorter ones.

IMPROVING WRITING TECHNIQUES Writers can significantly improve their messages by focusing on a few writing techniques. In this section we’ll focus on emphasizing and de-emphasizing ideas, using active and passive voice strategically, developing parallelism, and achieving sentence unity. You’ll also learn to avoid zigzag writing, mixed constructions, and dangling and misplaced modifiers.

Developing Emphasis When you are talking with someone, you can emphasize your main ideas by saying them loudly or by repeating them slowly. You could even pound the table if you want to show real emphasis! Another way you could signal the relative importance of an idea is by raising your eyebrows or by shaking your head or whispering in a low voice. But when you write, you must rely on other means to tell your readers which ideas are more important than others. Emphasis in writing can be achieved primarily in two ways: mechanically or stylistically. ACHIEVING EMPHASIS THROUGH MECHANICS You can emphasize an idea mechanically by using underlining, italics, boldface, font changes, all caps, dashes, and tabulation.

To emphasize an idea in print, a writer may use any of the following devices: Underlining Italics and boldface Font changes All caps Dashes Tabulation

Underlining draws the eye to a word. Using italics or boldface can convey special meaning and provide emphasis. Changing from a large font to a small font or to a different font adds interest and emphasis. Printing words in ALL CAPS is like shouting them. Dashes—if used sparingly—can be effective in capturing attention. Listing items vertically makes them stand out: 1. First item 2. Second item 3. Third item

Other means of achieving mechanical emphasis include the arrangement of space, color, lines, boxes, columns, titles, headings, and subheadings. Today’s software and color printers provide a wonderful array of capabilities for setting off ideas.

Unit 2

The Writing Process

Speakers can emphasize their words nonverbally with voice and gestures, but writers do not have these options. Instead, writers emphasize important parts of a message (1) mechanically, such as using underlining, boldface, or all caps, or (2) stylistically, such as using vivid words or placing ideas strategically.

ACHIEVING EMPHASIS THROUGH STYLE Although mechanical means are occasionally appropriate, more often a writer achieves emphasis stylistically. That is, the writer chooses words carefully and constructs sentences skillfully to emphasize main ideas and de-emphasize minor or negative ideas. Here are four suggestions for emphasizing ideas stylistically: You can emphasize ideas stylistically by using vivid words, labeling the main idea, and positioning the main idea strategically.

•

Use vivid words. Vivid words are emphatic because the reader can picture ideas clearly.

•

General Vivid

One business uses personal selling techniques. Avon uses face-to-face selling techniques.

General Vivid

Someone will contact you as soon as possible. Ms. Stevens will telephone you before 5 p.m. tomorrow, May 3.

Label the main idea. If an idea is significant, tell the reader. Unlabeled Labeled

•

Consider looking for a job online, but also focus on networking. Consider looking for a job online; but, most important, focus on networking.

Place the important idea first or last in the sentence. Ideas have less competition from surrounding words when they appear first or last in a sentence. Observe how the concept of productivity is emphasized in the first and second examples: Emphatic

Emphatic

Unemphatic

•

Productivity is more likely to be increased when profit-sharing plans are linked to individual performance rather than to group performance. Profit-sharing plans linked to individual performance rather than to group performance are more effective in increasing productivity. Profit-sharing plans are more effective in increasing productivity when they are linked to individual performance rather than to group performance.

Place the important idea in a simple sentence or in an independent clause. Don’t dilute the effect of the idea by making it share the spotlight with other words and clauses.

Chapter 3

Improving Writing Techniques

Emphatic Emphatic

Unemphatic

You are the first trainee that we have hired for this program. (Use a simple sentence for emphasis.) Although we considered many candidates, you are the first trainee that we have hired for this program. (Independent clause contains main idea.) Although you are the first trainee that we have hired for this program, we had many candidates and expect to expand the program in the future. (Main idea is lost in a dependent clause.)

DE-EMPHASIZING WHEN NECESSARY To de-emphasize an idea, such as bad news, try one of the following stylistic devices:

•

Use general words. Vivid General

You can de-emphasize ideas by using general words and placing the ideas in dependent clauses.

•

Our records indicate that you were recently fired. Our records indicate that your employment status has changed recently.

Place the bad news in a dependent clause connected to an independent clause with something positive. In sentences with dependent clauses, the main emphasis is always on the independent clause. Emphasizes bad news

De-emphasizes bad news

We cannot issue you credit at this time, but we have a special plan that will allow you to fill your immediate needs on a cash basis. Although credit cannot be issued at this time, you can fill your immediate needs on a cash basis with our special plan.

Using Active and Passive Voice Active-voice sentences are preferred because the subject is the doer of the action.

In sentences with active-voice verbs, the subject is the doer of the action. In passivevoice sentences, the subject is acted upon. Active verb Passive verb

Although active-voice verbs are preferred in business writing, passive-voice verbs perform useful functions.

The manager completed performance reviews for all employees. (The subject, manager, is the doer of the action.) Performance reviews were completed for all employees. (The subject, reviews, is acted upon.)

In the first sentence, the active-voice verb emphasizes the manager. In the second sentence, the passive-voice verb emphasizes the performance review. In sentences with passive-voice verbs, the doer of the action may be revealed or left unknown. In business writing, as well as in personal interactions, some situations demand tact and sensitivity. Instead of using a direct approach with active verbs, we may prefer the indirectness that passive verbs allow. Rather than making a blunt announcement with an active verb (Tyler made a major error in the estimate), we can soften the sentence with a passive construction (A major error was made in the estimate). Here’s a summary of the best use of active- and passive-voice verbs:

•

Use the active voice for most business writing. It clearly tells what the action is and who is performing that action. Congress passed new laws.

•

Use the passive voice to emphasize an action or the recipient of the action. New laws were passed by Congress.

•

Use the passive voice to de-emphasize negative news. Credit cannot be granted.

•

Use the passive voice to conceal the doer of an action. An error was made in projecting profits.

Unit 2

The Writing Process

How can you tell if a verb is active or passive? Identify the subject of the sentence and decide whether the subject is doing the acting or it is being acted upon. For example, in the sentence An appointment was made for January 1, the subject is appointment. The subject is being acted upon; therefore, the verb (was made) is passive. Another clue in identifying passive-voice verbs is that they generally include a to be helping verb, such as is, are, was, were, be, being, or been.

Achieving Parallelism Parallelism is a skillful writing technique that involves balanced writing. Sentences written so that their parts are balanced or parallel are easy to read and understand. To achieve parallel construction, use similar structures to express similar ideas. For example, the words computing, coding, recording, and storing are parallel because the words all end in -ing. To express the list as computing, coding, recording, and storage is disturbing because the last item is not what the reader expects. Try to match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, and clauses with clauses. Avoid mixing active-voice verbs with passive-voice verbs. Your goal is to keep the wording balanced in expressing similar ideas. Balanced wording helps the reader anticipate and comprehend your meaning.

Lacks parallelism Matches nouns Lacks parallelism Matches verbs Lacks parallelism

Matches phrases

Lacks parallelism

Matches clauses All items in a list should be expressed in balanced constructions.

The policy affected all vendors, suppliers, and those involved with consulting. The policy affected all vendors, suppliers, and consultants. Our primary goals are to increase productivity, reduce costs, and the improvement of product quality. Our primary goals are to increase productivity, reduce costs, and improve product quality. We are scheduled to meet in Dallas on January 5, we are meeting in Montreal on the 15th of March, and in Chicago on June 3. We are scheduled to meet in Dallas on January 5, in Montreal on March 15, and in Chicago on June 3. (Parallel construction matches phrases.) Mrs. Horne audits all accounts lettered A through L; accounts lettered M through Z are audited by Mr. Shapiro. Mrs. Horne audits all accounts lettered A through L; Mr. Shapiro audits accounts lettered M through Z.

In presenting lists of data, whether shown horizontally or tabulated vertically, be certain to express all the items in parallel form. Parallelism in vertical list

Our advertising program has three primary objectives: 1. Increase the frequency of product use 2. Introduce complementary products 3. Enhance the corporate image

Developing Unity Unified sentences contain only related ideas.

Unified sentences contain thoughts that are related to only one main idea. The following sentence lacks unity because the first clause has little or no relationship to the second clause: Lacks unity

Our insurance plan is available in all the states and provinces, and you may name anyone as a beneficiary for your coverage.

Chapter 3

Improving Writing Techniques

Revision

Our insurance plan is available in all the states and provinces. What’s more, you may name anyone as a beneficiary for your coverage.

The ideas are better expressed by separating the two dissimilar clauses and by adding a connecting phrase, as shown above. Other writing faults that destroy sentence unity are (1) zigzag writing, (2) mixed constructions, and (3) misplaced modifiers. AVOIDING ZIGZAG WRITING Zigzag sentences often should be broken into two sentences.

Sentences that twist or turn unexpectedly away from the main thought are examples of zigzag writing. Such confusing writing may result when too many thoughts are included in one sentence or when one thought does not relate to another. To rectify a zigzag sentence, revise it so that the reader understands the relationship between the thoughts. If that is impossible, move the unrelated thoughts to a new sentence or add explanatory information. Zigzag writing Revision

Zigzag writing

Revision

I appreciate the time you spent with me in our interview last week, and I have enrolled in a PhotoShop course. I appreciate the time you spent with me in our interview last week. As a result of your advice, I have enrolled in a PhotoShop course. GAP coverage protects car buyers who put little or no money down, but later they find they are “upside down” on an auto loan because the car was totaled. GAP coverage protects car buyers who put little or no money down. If the car is totaled, this protection avoids being “upside down” on the loan, that is, owing more than the car is worth.

AVOIDING CONFUSING MIXED CONSTRUCTIONS Mixed grammatical constructions confuse readers.

Writers who fuse two different grammatical constructions destroy sentence unity and meaning. Mixed construction Revision

Mixed construction Revision

The reason she was hired is because she is qualified. The reason she was hired is that she is qualified. (The construction introduced by the reason is should be a noun clause beginning with that, not an adverbial clause beginning with because.) When the stock market index rose five points was our signal to sell. When the stock market index rose five points, we were prepared to sell. OR: Our signal to sell was an increase of five points in the stock market index.

AVOIDING DANGLING AND MISPLACED MODIFIERS Modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit.

For clarity, modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit. A modifier dangles when the word or phrase it describes is missing from its sentence. A modifier is misplaced when the word or phrase it describes is not close enough to be clear. In both instances, the solution is to position the modifier closer to the word(s) it describes or limits. Introductory verbal phrases are particularly dangerous; be sure to follow them immediately with the words they logically describe or modify. Dangling modifier

Revision

To win the lottery, a ticket must be purchased. (The introductory verbal phrase must be followed by a logical subject.) To win the lottery, you must purchase a ticket.

Unit 2

Dangling modifier

Revision

The Writing Process

Driving through Malibu Canyon, the ocean suddenly came into view. (Is the ocean driving through Malibu Canyon?) Driving through Malibu Canyon, we saw the ocean suddenly come into view.

Try this trick for detecting and remedying these dangling modifiers. Ask the question Who? or What? after any introductory phrase. The words immediately following should tell the reader who or what is performing the action. Try the who? test on the previous danglers. Misplaced modifier

Revision Misplaced modifier Revision Misplaced modifier

Revision

Seeing his error too late, the envelope was immediately resealed by Matt. (Did the envelope see the error?) Seeing his error too late, Matt immediately resealed the envelope. A wart appeared on my left hand that I want removed. (Is the left hand to be removed?) A wart that I want removed appeared on my left hand. The busy personnel director interviewed only candidates who had excellent computer skills in the morning. (Were the candidates skilled only in the morning?) In the morning the busy personnel director interviewed only candidates who had excellent computer skills.

STRIVING FOR PARAGRAPH COHERENCE Three ways to create paragraph coherence are (1) repetition of key ideas, (2) use of pronouns, and (3) use of transitional expressions.

A paragraph is a group of sentences with a controlling idea, usually stated first. Paragraphs package similar ideas into meaningful groups for readers. Effective paragraphs are coherent; that is, they hold together. But coherence does not happen accidentally. It is achieved through effective organization and (1) repetition of key ideas, (2) use of pronouns, and (3) use of transitional expressions.

•

Repetition of key ideas or key words. Repeating a word or key thought from a preceding sentence helps guide a reader from one thought to the next. This redundancy is necessary to build cohesiveness into writing. Effective repetition

Our philosophy holds that every customer is really a guest. All new employees to our theme parks are trained to treat visitors as special guests. These guests are never told what they can or cannot do.

Notice that the repetition of the word guest creates coherence between sentences. Good writers find similar words to describe the same idea, thus using repetition to clarify a topic for the reader.

•

Use of pronouns. Pronouns such as this, that, they, these, and those promote coherence by connecting the thoughts in one sentence to the thoughts in a previous sentence. To make sure that the pronoun reference is clear, consider joining the pronoun with the word to which it refers, thus making the pronoun into an adjective. Pronoun repetition

All new park employees receive a two-week orientation. They learn that every staffer has a vital role in preparing for the show. This training includes how to maintain enthusiasm.

Chapter 3

Improving Writing Techniques

Be very careful, though, in using pronouns. A pronoun without a clear antecedent can be most annoying. In the last example notice how confusing this becomes if the word training is omitted. Faulty

Revision

Used wisely, transitional expressions guide readers smoothly from idea to idea.

•

When company profits increased, employees were given either a cash payment or company stock. This became a real incentive to employees. When company profits increased, employees were given either a cash payment or company stock. This profit-sharing plan became a real incentive to employees.

Use of transitional expressions. One of the most effective ways to achieve paragraph coherence is through the use of transitional expressions. These expressions act as road signs: they indicate where the message is headed, and they help the reader anticipate what is coming. Here are some of the most effective transitional expressions. They are grouped according to uses. Time Association before, after first, second meanwhile next until when, whenever

Contrast although but however instead nevertheless on the other hand

Cause, Effect consequently for this reason hence therefore

Additional Idea furthermore in addition likewise moreover

Illustration for example in this way

Controlling Paragraph Length The most readable paragraphs contain eight or fewer printed lines.

Although no rule regulates the length of paragraphs, business writers recognize the value of short paragraphs. Paragraphs with eight or fewer printed lines look inviting and readable. Long, solid chunks of print appear formidable. If a topic can’t be covered in eight or fewer printed lines (not sentences), consider breaking it into smaller segments.

COMPOSING THE FIRST DRAFT

Create a quiet place in which to write. Experts recommend “sprint writing” for first drafts.

Once you’ve researched your topic, organized the data, and selected a pattern of organization, you’re ready to begin composing. Communicators who haven’t completed the preparatory work often suffer from “writer’s block” and sit staring at a piece of paper or at the computer screen. It’s easier to get started if you have organized your ideas and established a plan. Composition is also easier if you have a quiet environment in which to concentrate. Businesspeople with messages to compose set aside a given time and allow no calls, visitors, or other interruptions. This is a good technique for students as well. As you begin composing, keep in mind that you are writing the first draft, not the final copy. Some experts suggest that you write quickly (sprint writing). If you get your thoughts down quickly, you can refine them in later versions. Other writers, such as your author, prefer to polish sentences as they go. Different writers have different styles. Whether you are a sprint writer or a polisher, be sure you compose at your computer. Learn to compose your thoughts at your keyboard. Don’t write a first draft by hand and then transfer it to the computer. This wastes time and develops poor habits. Businesspeople must be able to compose at their keyboards, and now is the time to develop that confidence and skill.

Unit 2

The Writing Process

SUMMING UP AND LOOKING FORWARD This chapter explained the second phase of the writing process, including researching, organizing, and composing. Before beginning a message, every writer collects data, either formally or informally. For most simple messages, you would look in the files, talk with your boss, interview the target audience, or possibly conduct an informal survey. Information for a message is then organized into a list or an outline. Depending on the expected reaction of the receiver, the message can be organized directly (for positive reactions) or indirectly (for negative reactions or when persuasion is necessary). In composing the first draft, writers must be sure that sentences are complete. Emphasis can be achieved

through mechanics (underlining, italics, font changes, all caps, and so forth) or through style (using vivid words, labeling the main idea, and positioning the important ideas). Important writing techniques include the skillful use of active- and passive-voice verbs, developing parallelism, and achieving unity while avoiding zigzag writing, mixed constructions, and misplaced modifiers. Coherent paragraphs result from planned repetition of key ideas, proper use of pronouns, and inclusion of transitional expressions. In the next chapter you’ll learn helpful techniques for the third phase of the writing process, which includes revising and proofreading.

CRITICAL THINKING 1. Many critics think that writing skills have declined in recent years. What do you think are the reasons for deteriorating writing skills, and what can be done to improve skills? 2. Why is audience analysis so important in choosing the direct or indirect pattern of organization for a business message?

3. How are speakers different from writers in the way they emphasize ideas? 4. Why are short sentences and short paragraphs appropriate for business communication? 5. When might it be unethical to use the indirect method of organizing a message?

CHAPTER REVIEW 6. How is the first phase of the writing process different from the second phase?

7. Distinguish between formal and informal methods of researching data for a business message.

8. What is the difference between a list and an outline?

9. What is frontloading and what are its advantages?

Chapter 3

Improving Writing Techniques

10. When is the indirect method appropriate, and what are the benefits of using it?

11. List five techniques for achieving emphasis through mechanics.

12. List four techniques for achieving emphasis through style.

13. What is parallelism? Give an original example.

14. List three techniques for developing paragraph coherence.

15. What environment should you establish if you have something to write?

Unit 2

The Writing Process

WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES Revising Sentences In the following, identify the sentence fault (fragment, run-on, comma splice). Then revise to remedy the fault. 16. Although they began as a side business for Disney. Destination weddings now represent a major income source.

17. About 2,000 weddings are held yearly. Which is twice the number just ten years ago.

18. Weddings may take place in less than one hour, however the cost may be as much as $5,000.

19. Limousines line up outside Disney’s wedding pavilion, ceremonies are scheduled in two-hour intervals.

20. Many couples prefer a traditional wedding others request a fantasy experience.

Emphasis For each of the following sentences, circle (a) or (b). Be prepared to justify your choice. 21. Which is more emphatic? a. They offer a lot of products. b. CyberGuys offers computer, travel, and office accessories. 22. Which is more emphatic? a. Increased advertising would improve sales. b. Adding $50,000 in advertising would double our sales. 23. Which is more emphatic? a. We must consider several factors. b. We must consider cost, staff, and safety. 24. Which sentence places more emphasis on product loyalty? a. Product loyalty is the primary motivation for advertising. b. The primary motivation for advertising is loyalty to the product, although other purposes are also served. 25. Which sentence places more emphasis on the seminar? a. An executive training seminar that starts June 1 will include four candidates. b. Four candidates will be able to participate in an executive training seminar that we feel will provide a valuable learning experience. 26. Which sentence places more emphasis on the date? a. The deadline is April 1 for summer vacation reservations. b. April 1 is the deadline for summer vacation reservations.

Chapter 3

Improving Writing Techniques

27. Which is less emphatic? a. One division’s profits decreased last quarter. b. Profits in consumer electronics dropped 15 percent last quarter. 28. Which sentence de-emphasizes the credit refusal? a. We are unable to grant you credit at this time, but we welcome your cash business and encourage you to reapply in the future. b. Although credit cannot be granted at this time, we welcome your cash business and encourage you to reapply in the future. 29. Which sentence gives more emphasis to leadership? a. She has many admirable qualities, but most important is her leadership skill. b. She has many admirable qualities, including leadership skill, good judgment, and patience. 30. Which is more emphatic? a. We notified three departments: (1) Marketing, (2) Accounting, and (3) Distribution. b. We notified three departments: 1. Marketing 2. Accounting 3. Distribution

Active-Voice Verbs Business writing is more forceful if it uses active-voice verbs. Revise the following sentences so that verbs are in the active voice. Put the emphasis on the doer of the action. Add subjects if necessary. Example Revision

Firewall software was installed on his computer. Craig installed firewall software on his computer.

31. A company credit card was used by the manager to purchase office supplies.

32. To protect students, laws were passed in many states that prohibited the use of social security numbers as identification.

33. Checks are processed more quickly by banks because of new regulations.

34. Millions of packages are scanned by FedEx every night as packages stream through its Memphis hub.

Passive-Voice Verbs When indirectness or tact is required, use passive-voice verbs. Revise the following sentences so that they are in the passive voice. Example Revision

Travis did not submit the proposal before the deadline. The proposal was not submitted before the deadline.

35. Accounting seems to have made a serious error in this report.

36. We cannot ship your order for smart surge protectors until May 5.

Unit 2

The Writing Process

37. The government first issued a warning regarding the use of this pesticide more than 15 months ago.

38. Your insurance policy does not automatically cover damage to rental cars.

39. We cannot provide patient care unless patients show proof of insurance.

Parallelism Revise the following sentences so that their parts are balanced. 40. (Hint: Match verbs.) To improve your listening skills, you should stop talking, your surroundings should be controlled, be listening for main points, and an open mind must be kept.

41. (Hint: Match active voice of verbs.) Paula Day, director of the Okefenokee branch, will now supervise all Eastern Division operations; the Western Division will be supervised by our Oroville branch director, Reggie Kostiz.

42. (Hint: Match verb phrases.) Our newly hired employee has started using the computer and to learn her coworkers’ names.

43. (Hint: Match adjectives.) Training seminars must be stimulating and a challenge.

44. Our new telecommunications software allows you to meet with customers over the Internet for training, Web-based meetings can be held, and other online collaboration within virtual teams is also facilitated.

45. We need more trained staff members, office space is limited, and the budget for overtime is much too small.

46. The application for a grant asks for this information: funds required for employee salaries, how much we expect to spend on equipment, and what is the length of the project.

47. Sending an e-mail establishes a more permanent record than to make a telephone call.

Sentence Unity The following sentences lack unity. Rewrite, correcting the identified fault. Example Revision

(Dangling modifier) When collecting information for new equipment, the Web proved to be my best resource. When collecting information for new equipment, I found the Web to be my best resource.

Chapter 3

Improving Writing Techniques

48. (Dangling modifier) To win the lottery, a ticket must be purchased.

49. (Mixed construction) The reason why our boss is such a good manager is because he genuinely listens to employees.

50. (Misplaced modifier) The exciting Mandalay Bay is just one of the fabulous hotels you see strolling along the Las Vegas strip.

51. (Dangling modifier) Angered by slow computer service, complaints were called in by hundreds of unhappy users.

52. (Zigzag sentence) Fishermen pump money into the local economy when salmon make their annual spawning runs, renting rooms, filling restaurants, and buying supplies from stores and shops in the region.

Coherence Revise the following paragraphs to improve coherence. Study the example and review the chapter. Be aware that the transitional expressions and keywords selected depend largely on the emphasis desired. Many possible revisions exist. Example

Revision

Computer style checkers rank somewhere between artificial intelligence and artificial ignorance. Style checkers are like clever children: smart but not wise. Business writers should be cautious. They should be aware of the usefulness of style checkers. They should know their limitations. Computer style checkers rank somewhere between artificial intelligence and artificial ignorance. For example, they are like clever children: smart but not wise. For this reason, business writers should be cautious. Although they should be aware of the usefulness of these software programs, business writers should also know their limitations.

53. Managers can avoid costly hiring mistakes with two techniques. They should write a solid job description. They should explain special job expectations during the hiring interview. Will the applicant be expected to travel? Are tight deadlines common? The manager should not frighten away applicants.

54. No one likes to turn out poor products. We began highlighting recurring problems. Employees make a special effort to be more careful in doing their work right the first time. It doesn’t have to be returned to them for corrections.

55. Service was less than perfect for many months. We lacked certain intangibles. We didn’t have the customer-specific data that we needed. We made the mistake of removing all localized, person-toperson coverage. We are returning to decentralized customer contacts.

Unit 2

The Writing Process

ACTIVITY INFOTRAC

3.1 How Do Supervisors Improve Their Writing? Nearly everyone who goes to college will eventually be promoted into some kind of supervisory position. In that role you will be writing memos, letters, instructions, reports, and other business documents. Your Task. Using InfoTrac, find an article that describes how supervisors can improve their writing skills. We recommend “Writing Clearly and Forcefully” by W. H. Weiss, which appeared in the December 2001 issue of Supervision. However, you may find a more recent article that is equally helpful. Read the article carefully, and make a list of eight to ten suggestions that you think would be most helpful to you in improving your own writing. Discuss your list in small groups or submit it to your instructor.

GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHECKUP—3 Verbs Review Sections 1.10–1.15 in the Grammar Review section of the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook. Then study each of the following statements. Underline any verbs that are used incorrectly. In the space provided write the correct form (or C if correct) and the number of the G/M principle illustrated. When you finish, compare your responses with those provided near the end of the book. If your responses differ, study carefully the principles in parentheses.

is for are

(1.10e)

Example

Are you certain that the database of our customers’ names and addresses are secure?

1. Posted at our company’s intranet is all personnel forms and information about benefits. 2. If even one of my e-mail messages are blocked by spam controls, I am unhappy. 3. Verizon, together with many other large ISPs, were singled out for using overzealous spam blockers. 4. Neither the sender nor the receiver of blocked messages know what has happened. 5. A typical e-mail user might loose anywhere from one message a month to as many as five a week. 6. The time and energy that is required to follow up on e-mail messages reduce efficiency. 7. Either the message or its attachment has triggered the spam-blocking software. 8. After many of its customers had began to complain about lost messages, one company sued. 9. If you could have saw the number of nondelivery error messages, you would have been upset also. 10. Although Sloan acts as if she was the manager, she can’t solve the e-mail disruption dilemma. 11. Ramon discovered that a lot of his legitimate e-mail had went to junk folders that he never checked. In the space provided write the letter of the sentence that illustrates consistency in subject, voice, and mood. 12. a. When Trevor sent an e-mail message, its delivery was expected. b. When Trevor sent an e-mail message, he expected it to be delivered. 13. a. All employees must wear photo identification; only then will you be admitted. b. All employees must wear photo identification; only then will they be admitted.

Chapter 3

Improving Writing Techniques

14. a. First, check all computers for viruses; then, install a firewall. b. First, check all computers for viruses; then, a firewall must be installed. 15. a. When Scott examined the computers, the spyware was discovered. b. When Scott examined the computers, he discovered the spyware.

GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHALLENGE—3 The following business letter has faults in grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, word use, wordiness, parallelism, dangling modifiers, and number form. Correct the errors with standard proofreading marks (see Appendix B), or revise the message online at Guffey Xtra! GARTH I. PETERSON CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER

3392 Econlockhatchee Trail Orlando, FL 32822-6588 (407) 551-8791 [emailprotected]

Current date Mrs. Julie Noriega 392 Blue Lagoon Way Orlando, FL 32814 Dear Julie: This is to inform you that, as your Financial Planner, I’m happy to respond to your request for clarification on the Tax status of eBay profits. As you in all probability are all ready aware of, you can use eBay to clean out your closets. It can also be used to run a small business. Your smart to enquire about your tax liability. Although there is no clear line that separates fun from profit or a hobby from a business. One thing is certin, the IRS taxs all income. There are a number of factors that help determine whether or not your hobby should or should not be considered a business. To use eBay safely the following questions should be considered: 1.

Do you run the operation in a businesslike manner? Do you keep records, is your profit and loss tracked, or do you keep a seperate checking account?

Do you devote alot of time and effort to eBay? If you spend eighteen hours a day selling on eBay the IRS would tend to think your in a business.

Some people depend on the income from their eBay activities for their livelihood.

Are you selling items for more then they cost you? If you spend four dollars for a Garage Sale vase and sell it for fifty dollars the IRS would probably consider this a business transaction. All profits is taxable. Even for eBay sellers who are just playing around. If you wish to discuss this faarther please call me at 551-8791. Sincerely,

Garth Peterson

Unit 2

The Writing Process

ETHICS USING ETHICAL TOOLS TO HELP YOU DO THE RIGHT THING In your career you will no doubt face times when you are torn by conflicting loyalties. Should you tell the truth and risk your job? Should you be loyal to your friends even if it means bending the rules? Should you be tactful or totally honest? Is it your duty to help your company make a profit, or should you be socially responsible? Being ethical, according to the experts, means doing the right thing given the circumstances. Each set of circumstances requires analyzing issues, evaluating choices, and acting responsibly. Resolving ethical issues is never easy, but the task can be made less difficult if you know how to identify key issues. The following questions may be helpful. •

Is the action you are considering legal? No matter who asks you to do it or how important you feel the result will be, avoid anything that is prohibited by law. Giving a kickback to a buyer for a large order is illegal, even if you suspect that others in your field do it and you know that without the kickback you will lose the sale.

•

How would you see the problem if you were on the opposite side? Looking at all sides of an issue helps you gain perspective. Consider the issue of mandatory drug testing among employees. From management’s viewpoint such testing could stop drug abuse, improve job performance, and lower health insurance premiums. From the employees’ viewpoint mandatory testing reflects a lack of trust of employees and constitutes an invasion of privacy. By weighing both sides of an issue, you can arrive at a more equitable solution.

•

What are the alternate solutions? Consider all dimensions of other options. Would the alternative be more ethical? Under the circumstances, is the alternative feasible? Can an alternate solution be implemented with a minimum of disruption and with a high degree of probable success?

•

Can you discuss the problem with someone whose opinion you value? Suppose you feel ethically bound to report accurate information to a client—even though your boss has ordered you not to do so. Talking about your dilemma with a coworker or with a colleague in your field might give you helpful insights and lead to possible alternatives.

•

How would you feel if your family, friends, employer, or coworkers learned of your action? If the thought of revealing your action publicly produces cold sweats, your choice is probably not a wise one. Losing the faith of your friends or the confidence of your customers is not worth whatever short-term gains might be realized.

Career Application. One of the biggest accounting firms uses an ethical awareness survey that includes some of the following situations. You may face similar situations with ethical issues on the job or in employment testing.

Your Task In teams or individually, decide whether each of the following ethical issues is (a) very important, (b) moderately important, or (c) unimportant. Then decide whether you (a) strongly approve, (b) are undecided, or (c) strongly disapprove of the action taken.3 Apply the ethical tools presented here in determining whether the course of action is ethical. What alternatives might you suggest? •

Recruiting. You are a recruiter for your company. Although you know company morale is low, the turnover rate is high, and the work environment in many departments is deplorable, you tell job candidates that it’s “a great place to work.”

Chapter 3

Improving Writing Techniques

•

Training Program. Your company is offering an exciting training program in Hawaii. Although you haven’t told anyone, you plan to get another job shortly. You decide to participate in the program anyway because you’ve never been to Hawaii. One of the program requirements is that participants must have “long-term career potential” with the firm.

•

Thievery. As a supervisor, you suspect that one of your employees is stealing. You check with a company attorney and find that a lie detector test cannot be legally used. Then you decide to scrutinize the employee’s records. Finally, you find an inconsistency in the employee’s records. You decide to fire the employee, although this inconsistency would not normally have been discovered.

•

Downsizing. As part of the management team of a company that makes potato chips, you are faced with the rising price of potatoes. Rather than increase the cost of your chips, you decide to decrease slightly the size of the bag. Consumers are less likely to notice a smaller bag than a higher price.

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words . . . for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.

”

Strunk and White, The Elements of Style

OBJECTIVES • Understand the third phase of the writing process: revision. • Revise messages to achieve concise wording by eliminating wordy prepositional phrases, long lead-ins, outdated expressions, and needless adverbs. • Revise messages to eliminate fillers, repetitious words, and redundancies. • Revise messages to use jargon sparingly and avoid slang and clichés. • Revise messages to include precise verbs, concrete nouns, and vivid adjectives. • Describe effective techniques for proofreading routine and complex documents.

UNDERSTANDING THE PROCESS OF REVISION

Revision involves improving content and sentence structure; proofreading involves correcting grammar, spelling, punctuation, format, and mechanics.

To be successful in the business world, you must be able to turn out business messages and presentations that are concise, clear, and vigorous. In this chapter you’ll concentrate on techniques to achieve those qualities. These techniques are part of the third phase of the writing process, which centers on revising and proofreading. Revising means improving the content and sentence structure of your message. It may include adding, cutting, and recasting what you’ve written. Proofreading involves correcting the grammar, spelling, punctuation, format, and mechanics of your messages. Both revising and proofreading require a little practice to develop your skills. That’s what you will be learning in this chapter. Take a look at Figure 4.1. Notice how the revised version of this memo is clearer, more concise, and more vigorous because we removed much deadwood. Major ideas stand out when they are not lost in a forest of words. Rarely is the first or even the second version of a message satisfactory. Experts say that only amateurs expect writing perfection on the first try. The revision stage is your chance to make sure your message is clear, forceful, and says what you mean. This is “where your message gets hammered out, where the real work takes place” as you struggle to clarify your thoughts.1

PHOTOS: © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS; © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS; © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS

“

REVISING AND PROOFREADING BUSINESS MESSAGES

Chapter 4

FIGURE 4.1

Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

Memo Revised for Conciseness NorthStar Telecommunication Services Interoffice Memo DATE:

November 12, 200x

TO:

Rodney Hawkins

FROM:

Sierra McKinney

SUBJECT:

Investigation of Web Sites of Some of Our Competitors

This is just a short note to inform you that, as you requested, I have made an investigation of several of our competitors’ Web sites. Attached hereto is a summary of my findings of my investigation. I was really most interested in making a comparison of the employment of strategies for marketing as well as the use of navigational graphics used to guide visitors through the sites. In view of the fact that we will be revising our own Web site in the near future, I was extremely intrigued by the organization, kind of marketing tactics, and navigation at each and every site I visited. In the event that you would like to discuss this information with me, feel free to call me at Extension 219. Attachment

Some communicators write the first draft quickly; others revise and polish as they go.

Many professional writers compose the first draft quickly without worrying about language, precision, or correctness. Then they revise and polish extensively. Other writers, however, prefer to revise as they go—particularly for shorter business documents. Whether you revise as you go or do it when you finish a document, you’ll want to focus on concise wording. This includes eliminating wordy prepositional phrases, long lead-ins, outdated expressions, needless adverbs, fillers, and repetitious and redundant words. You will decide whether to include jargon, slang, and clichés. You will also be looking for precise words that say exactly what you mean.

CONCISE WORDING Main points are easier to understand in concise messages.

In business, time is indeed money. Translated into writing, this means that concise messages save reading time and, thus, money. In addition, messages that are written directly and efficiently are easier to read and comprehend. In the revision process look for shorter ways to say what you mean. Examine every sentence that you write. Could the thought be conveyed in fewer words? Notice how the following flabby expressions could be said more concisely.

Flabby phrases can often be reduced to a single word.

Flabby at a later date at this point in time afford an opportunity are of the opinion that at the present time despite the fact that due to the fact that during the time feel free to for the period of

Concise later now allow believe, think that now, presently although because while please for

Flabby fully cognizant of in addition to the above in spite of the fact that in the event that in the amount of in the near future in view of the fact that inasmuch as more or less until such time as

Concise aware of also even though if for soon because since about until

Unit 2

The Writing Process

Wordy Prepositional Phrases Replace wordy prepositional phrases with adverbs whenever possible.

Some wordy prepositional phrases may be replaced by single adverbs. For example, in the normal course of events becomes normally and as a general rule becomes generally. Wordy Concise

Wal-Mart approached the union issue in a careful manner. Wal-Mart approached the union issue carefully.

Wordy Concise

Our office will in all probability be relocated. Our office will probably be relocated.

Wordy Concise

We have taken this action in very few cases. We have seldom taken this action.

Long Lead-Ins Avoid long lead-ins that delay the reader from reaching the meaning of the sentence.

Delete unnecessary introductory words. The meat of the sentence often follows the words that or because. Wordy Concise Wordy Concise Wordy Concise

This e-mail message is being sent to all of you to let you know that new parking permits will be issued January 1. New parking permits will be issued January 1. You will be interested to learn that you can now be served at our Web site. You can now be served at our Web site. I am writing this letter because Dr. Steven Hunt suggested that your organization was hiring trainees. Dr. Steven Hunt suggested that your organization was hiring trainees.

Outdated Expressions Don’t try to sound businesslike by using outdated expressions.

The world of business has changed greatly in the past century or two. Yet, some business writers continue to use antiquated phrases and expressions left over from the past. They are trapped by the notion that these familiar phrases are necessary to sound “businesslike.” Forget that idea! Replace oudated expressions such as those shown here with more modern phrasing:

Outdated Expressions

Modern Phrasing

are in receipt of as per your request attached hereto enclosed please find pursuant to your request thanking you in advance I trust that under separate cover

have received at your request attached enclosed is/are at your request thank you I think, I believe separately

Needless Adverbs Avoid excessive use of adverb intensifiers.

Eliminating adverbs such as very, definitely, quite, completely, extremely, really, actually, somewhat, and rather streamlines your writing. Omitting these intensifiers generally makes you sound more credible and businesslike. Writers who wish to sound sincere and conversational often include some intensifiers, but they guard against excessive use. Wordy Concise

We actually did not really give his proposal a very fair trial. We did not give his proposal a fair trial.

Chapter 4

Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

Smart communicators make sure their vocabularies are as contemporary as the offices in which they work. They avoid outdated expressions, clichés, and wordiness.

Wordy Concise

Hewlett-Packard officials were extremely upset to learn that its printers were definitely being counterfeited. Hewlett-Packard officials were upset to learn that its printers were being counterfeited.

Fillers Avoid fillers that fatten sentences with excess words. Beginning an idea with There is usually indicates that writers are spinning their wheels until they decide where the sentence is going. Used correctly, there indicates a specific place (I placed the box there). Used as fillers, there and occasionally it merely take up space. Most, but not all, sentences can be revised so that these fillers are unnecessary. Wordy Concise

There is only one candidate who passed the writing test. Only one candidate passed the writing test.

Wordy Concise

It was our auditor who made a discovery of the theft. Our auditor discovered the theft.

Repetitious Words Avoid the monotony of unintentionally repeated words.

Good communicators vary their words to avoid unintentional repetition. Not only does this shorten a message, but it also improves vigor and readability. Variety of expression can be achieved by searching for appropriate synonyms and by substituting pronouns. Compare the following wordy paragraph with the more concise version. Notice in the concise version that synonyms (representatives, members) replace the overused employee.

Wordy

Concise

Employees will be able to elect an additional six employees to serve with the four previously elected employees who currently comprise the employees’ board of directors.

Employees may vote for six additional representatives to serve with the previously elected members of their board of directors.

Unit 2

The Writing Process

Good writers are also alert to the overuse of the articles a, an, and particularly the. Often the word the can simply be omitted, particularly with plural nouns. Wordy

Improved

The committee members agreed on many of the rule changes. Committee members agreed on many rule changes.

Redundant Words Redundancies convey a meaning more than once.

Don’t use words that repeat meaning. Which words could be omitted?

Repetition of words to achieve emphasis or effective transition is an important writing technique discussed in the previous chapter. The needless repetition, however, of words whose meanings are clearly implied by other words is a writing fault called redundancy. For example, in the expression final outcome, the word final is redundant and should be omitted, since outcome implies finality. Learn to avoid redundant expressions such as the following: absolutely essential adequate enough advance warning basic fundamentals big in size combined together consensus of opinion continue on each and every exactly identical few in number

grateful thanks mutual cooperation necessary prerequisite new beginning passing fad past history reason why red in color refer back repeat again true facts

Jargon Jargon, which is terminology unique to a certain profession, should be reserved for individuals who understand it.

Except in certain specialized contexts, you should avoid jargon and unnecessary technical terms. Jargon is special terminology that is peculiar to a particular activity or profession. For example, geologists speak knowingly of exfoliation, calcareous ooze, and siliceous particles. Engineers are familiar with phrases such as infrared processing flags, output latches, and movable symbology. Telecommunication experts use such words and phrases as protocols, clickstream, neural networks, and asynchronous transmission. Every field has its own special vocabulary. Using that vocabulary within the field is acceptable and even necessary for accurate, efficient communication. Don’t use specialized terms, however, if you have reason to believe that your reader may misunderstand them.

Slang Slang sounds fashionable, but it lacks precise meaning and should be avoided in business writing.

Slang is composed of informal words with arbitrary and extravagantly changed meanings. Slang words quickly go out of fashion because they are no longer appealing when everyone begins to understand them. Consider the following statement of a government official who had been asked why his department was dropping a proposal to lease offshore oil lands: “The Administration has an awful lot of other things in the pipeline, and this has more wiggle room so they just moved it down the totem pole.” He added, however, that the proposal might be offered again since “there is no pulling back because of hot-potato factors.” The meaning here, if the speaker really intended to impart any, is considerably obscured by the use of slang. Good communicators, of course, aim at clarity and avoid unintelligible slang. If you want to sound professional, avoid expressions such as snarky, lousy, blowing the budget, bombed, and getting burned. Good communicators aim at clarity and avoid unintelligible slang.

Chapter 4

Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

Clichés Clichés are dull and sometimes ambiguous.

Clichés are expressions that have become exhausted by overuse. These expressions lack not only freshness but also clarity. Some have no meaning for people who are new to our culture. The following partial list contains clichés you should avoid in business writing. below the belt better than new beyond a shadow of a doubt easier said than done exception to the rule fill the bill first and foremost good to go

last but not least make a bundle pass with flying colors quick as a flash shoot from the hip stand your ground think outside the box true to form

Precise Verbs Precise verbs make your writing forceful, clear, and lively.

Effective writing creates meaningful images in the mind of the reader. Such writing is sparked by robust, concrete, and descriptive words. Ineffective writing is often dulled by insipid, abstract, and generalized words. The most direct way to improve lifeless writing is through effective use of verbs. Verbs not only indicate the action of the subject but also deliver the force of the sentence. Select verbs carefully so that the reader can visualize precisely what is happening. General Precise

A representative will contact you next week. A representative will (telephone, fax, e-mail, visit) you next week.

General Precise

Our manager asked everyone to volunteer. Our manager (urged, begged, coaxed) everyone to volunteer.

General Precise

We must consider this problem. We must (clarify, remedy, rectify ) this problem.

General Precise

The newspaper was affected by the strike. The newspaper was (crippled, silenced, demoralized ) by the strike.

Buried Verbs Converting verbs into wordy noun expressions weakens business writing.

Buried verbs are those that are needlessly converted to wordy noun expressions. This happens when verbs such as acquire, establish, and develop are made into nouns such as acquisition, establishment, and development. Such nouns often end

Unit 2

The Writing Process

in tion, ment, and ance. In the following sentences, see how you can make your writing more concise and more powerful by avoiding wordy verb/noun conversions: Our auditor made an examination of the books. Unions and management reached an agreement to continue talking. Celebrities promised to make an appearance at the charity event. The webmaster and the designer had a discussion about graphics. Both companies must grant approval of the merger.

Concrete Nouns Concrete nouns help readers visualize the meanings of words.

Nouns name persons, places, and things. Abstract nouns name concepts that are difficult to visualize, such as automation, function, justice, institution, integrity, form, judgment, and environment. Concrete nouns name objects that are more easily imagined, such as desk, car, and laptop. Nouns describing a given object can range from the very abstract to the very concrete—for example, object, motor vehicle, car, convertible, Mustang. All of these words or phrases can be used to describe a Mustang convertible. However, a reader would have difficulty envisioning a Mustang convertible when given just the word object or even motor vehicle or car. In business writing, help your reader “see” what you mean by using concrete language. General Concrete

we received numerous inquiries we received 78 inquiries

General Concrete

that company’s new gadget Sony Ericsson’s S710 camera that includes an MP3 player

General Concrete

a person called James Grover, the senior marketing manager, called

General Concrete

we have to move a lot of stuff we have to move three rooms of furniture

General Concrete

Negotiators use many skills Negotiators use tact, diplomacy, empathy, and business savvy

Vivid Adjectives A thesaurus (computer or printed) helps you select precise words and increase your vocabulary.

Including highly descriptive, dynamic adjectives makes writing more vivid and concrete. Be careful, though, neither to overuse them nor to lose objectivity in selecting them. General Vivid

Amanda submitted her report on time. Amanda submitted her detailed 12-page report on time.

General Vivid

We must hire a good employee. We must hire a productive, efficient employee.

General Vivid

Rick needs a better truck. Rick needs a rugged, four-wheel-drive Dodge truck.

General Vivid Overkill

We enjoyed the movie. We enjoyed the entertaining and absorbing movie. We enjoyed the gutsy, exciting, captivating, and thoroughly marvelous movie.

Chapter 4

Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

When your message is in final form, you may proofread at the screen or from a printed copy. If the document is complex, always print a copy and allow enough time to proofread it two or three times.

UNDERSTANDING THE PROCESS OF PROOFREADING Proofreading before a document is completed is generally a waste of time.

Once you have the message in its final form, it’s time to proofread. Don’t proofread earlier because you may waste time checking items that eventually are changed or omitted.

What to Watch for in Proofreading Careful proofreaders check for problems in these areas: • Spelling. Now’s the time to consult the dictionary. Is recommend spelled with one or two c’s? Do you mean affect or effect? Use your computer spell checker, but don’t rely on it totally. • Grammar. Locate sentence subjects; do their verbs agree with them? Do pronouns agree with their antecedents? Review the principles in the Grammar/ Mechanics Handbook if necessary. Use your computer’s grammar checker, but don’t let it replace careful manual proofreading. • Punctuation. Make sure that introductory clauses are followed by commas. In compound sentences put commas before coordinating conjunctions (and, or, but, nor). Double-check your use of semicolons and colons. • Names and numbers. Compare all names and numbers with their sources because inaccuracies are not immediately visible. Especially verify the spelling of the names of individuals receiving the message. Most of us are offended when someone misspells our name. • Format. Be sure that letters, printed memos, and reports are balanced on the page. Compare their parts and format with those of standard documents shown in Appendix A. If you indent paragraphs, be certain that all are indented.

How to Proofread Routine Documents Routine documents need a light proofreading.

Most routine messages, including e-mails, require a light proofreading. Use the down arrow to reveal one line at a time, thus focusing your attention at the bottom of the screen. Read carefully for faults such as omitted or doubled words. Be sure to use your spell checker. For routine messages such as printed letters or memos, a safer proofreading method is reading from a printed copy. You’re more likely to find errors and to observe the tone.

Unit 2

The Writing Process

“Things really look different on paper,” observed veteran writer Louise Lague at People magazine. “Don’t just pull a letter out of the printer and stick it in an envelope. Read every sentence again. You’ll catch bad line endings, strange page breaks, and weird spacing. You can also get a totally different feeling about what you’ve said when you see it in print. Sometimes you can say something with a smile on your face; but if you put the same thing in print, it won’t work.”2 Use standard proofreading marks, shown in Figure 4.2, to indicate changes.

How to Proofread Complex Documents

For both routine and complex documents, it’s best to proofread from a printed copy, not on a computer screen.

FIGURE 4.2

Most proofreaders use these standard marks to indicate revisions.

Long, complex, or important documents demand more careful proofreading using the following techniques: • Print a copy, preferably double-spaced, and set it aside for at least a day. You’ll be more alert after a breather. • Allow adequate time to proofread carefully. A common excuse for sloppy proofreading is lack of time. • Be prepared to find errors. One student confessed, “I can find other people’s errors, but I can’t seem to locate my own.” Psychologically, we don’t expect to find errors, and we don’t want to find them. You can overcome this obstacle by anticipating errors and congratulating, not criticizing, yourself each time you find one. • Read the message at least twice—once for word meanings and once for grammar/ mechanics. For very long documents (book chapters and long articles or reports), read a third time to verify consistency in formatting. • Reduce your reading speed. Concentrate on individual words rather than ideas. • For documents that must be perfect, have someone read the message aloud. The reader should spell names and difficult words, note capitalization, and read punctuation. • Use standard proofreading marks, shown in Figure 4.2, to indicate changes.

Proofreading Marks

Delete

Insert

Capitalize

Insert space

Lowercase (don’t capitalize)

Insert punctuation

Transpose

Insert period

Close up

Start paragraph

Marked Copy This is to inform you that beginning september 1 the doors leading to the Westside of the building will have alarms. Because of the fact that these exits also function as fire exits they can not actually be locked consequently we are instaling alrams. Please utilize the east side exists to avoid setting off the ear piercing alarms.

Chapter 4

Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

Your computer word processing program may include a style or grammar checker. These programs generally analyze aspects of your writing style, including readability level and use of passive voice, trite expressions, split infinitives, and wordy expressions. To do so, they use sophisticated algorithms (step-by-step procedures) to identify significant errors. In addition to finding spelling and typographical errors, grammar checkers can find subject–verb lack of agreement, word misuse, spacing irregularities, punctuation problems, and many other faults. However, they won’t find everything. While grammar and spell checkers can help you a great deal, you are the final proofreader.

SUMMING UP AND LOOKING FORWARD Revision is the most important part of the writing process. To revise for clarity and conciseness, look for flabby phrases that can be shortened (such as more or less). Eliminate wordy prepositional phrases (in all probability), long lead-ins (This is to inform you that), outdated expressions (pursuant to your request), needless adverbs (definitely, very), and fillers (There are). Also watch for repetitious words and redundancies (combined together). Use jargon only when it is clear to receivers, and avoid slang and clichés altogether. The best writing includes precise verbs, concrete nouns, and vivid adjectives. After revising a message, you’re ready for the last step in the writing process: proofreading. Watch for irregularities in spelling,

grammar, punctuation, names and numbers, and format. Although routine messages may be proofread on the screen, you will have better results if you proofread from a printed copy. Complex documents should be printed, put away for a day or so, and then proofread several times. In these opening chapters you’ve studied the writing process. You’ve also learned many practical techniques for becoming an effective business communicator. Now it’s time for you to put these techniques to work. Chapter 5 introduces you to writing e-mail messages and memorandums, the most frequently used forms of communication for most businesspeople. Later chapters present letters and reports.

CRITICAL THINKING 1. A real writer can sit down at a computer and create a perfect document the first time. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Why?

4. If your boss writes in a flowery, formal tone and relies on outdated expressions, should you follow that style also?

2. Carefully written short messages often take longer to write than longer messages. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Why?

5. Is it unethical to help a friend revise a report when you know that the friend will be turning that report in for a grade?

3. Because clichés are familiar and have stood the test of time, do they help clarify writing?

CHAPTER REVIEW 6. How is revising different from proofreading?

Unit 2

The Writing Process

7. Why is conciseness especially important in business?

8. What is a long lead-in? Give an original example.

9. What’s wrong with using adverbs such as very, really, and actually?

10. What is a redundancy? Give an example.

11. What is jargon? When can it be used? What are examples in your field?

12. What happens when a verb (such as describe) is converted to a noun expression (to make a description)? Give an original example.

13. Should you proofread when you are writing or after you finish? Why?

14. What five areas should you especially pay attention to when you proofread?

15. How does the proofreading of routine documents differ from that of complex documents?

WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES Wordiness Revise the following sentences to eliminate flabby phrases, wordy prepositional phrases, outdated expressions, and long lead-ins. Example Revision

This is to inform you that in view of the fact that Monday is a holiday, we will be closed. Because Monday is a holiday, we will be closed.

16. This memo is to notify staff members that meetings held on a weekly basis are the manager’s preference.

Chapter 4

Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

17. We cannot send an apology at this point in time in spite of the fact that we were in all probability wrong.

18. Pursuant to your request, you will find attached hereto your January invoice.

19. There have been some complaints on the part of customers who made the statements that their orders were sent to wrong addresses.

20. You will be interested to learn that you may feel free to use this debit card for the purpose of purchasing items for a period of 30 days.

Buried Verbs Revise these sentences, centering the action in the verbs and eliminating wordiness. Example Revision

Enrique wanted to make application to the program. Enrique wanted to apply to the program.

21. The homeowner came to the realization that her asking price was too high.

22. Customers show a preference for rich colors.

23. Employees conducted an investigation into efforts at staff reduction.

24. Insurance representatives placed the damage assessment at $1,000.

25. Mr. James made a recommendation that an e-mail policy be developed in the immediate future.

26. The CEO must give his approval to the plan before we meet tomorrow at 10 a.m. in the morning.

Needless Adverbs, Fillers, Repetitious Words, Buried Verbs Revise the following sentences to eliminate needless adverbs, fillers (such as there is and it is), buried verbs, unintentional repetition, and other wordiness. 27. There is an extremely high number of businesses that are giving consideration to bringing an end to customer service that involves personal service.

28. It is certainly clear that our CPA must perform an analysis of profits before we can make a decision regarding bonuses for this year.

29. There is one manager who said it was absolutely essential that we find a solution to the problem in production at the present time.

Unit 2

The Writing Process

30. In spite of the fact that it’s a longer commute, I made the decision to take them up on the job they offered me.

31. Inasmuch as you are fully cognizant of our very real budget problems, there is no reason why we should repeat the discussion of the problem over again.

Redundancies, Jargon, Slang, Clichés Revise the following sentences to eliminate redundancies, jargon, slang, clichés, and any other wordiness. Example Revision

Once we collect all the true facts, we are good to go on the government contract. Once we collect the facts, we can proceed with the government contract.

32. First and foremost, we plan to emphasize an instructional training program.

33. There was a consensus of opinion among managers that they had to collect together as much data as possible to pump up profits or face the fact that their bonuses would go down the tubes.

34. If at all possible, Ryan did not intend to repeat again his lengthy presentation that really bombed and lasted until 5 p.m. in the afternoon.

35. Despite the fact that the parking lot is extremely small in size, we are at a loss to explain the reason why management pulled the plug on a plan to enlarge it in size.

Vivid Words Revise the following sentences to include vivid, concrete, and precise language. Use your imagination to add appropriate words. Example Revision

They said it was a long way off. Management officials announced that the merger would not take place for two years.

36. Please contact our representative soon.

37. A manager from that company notified me a few days ago about the meeting change.

38. The new cell phone comes in a variety of colors.

39. They said her report was good.

40. Profits increased when workers saw the big picture.

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ACTIVITY INFOTRAC

4.1 Being Conversational but Concise Like business writers, newspaper journalists strive to be conversational but concise. They must be watchful to avoid the same problems of wordiness addressed in this chapter. Your Task. Using InfoTrac, locate Paula LaRocque’s article, “It’s a True Fact Writing Can Repeat Again What’s Been Said Before” (Article No. A54175089). After reading the article, answer the following questions in a written memo or in class discussion: a.

According to LaRocque, what are the two worst enemies of clarity, precision, and brevity?

How can a writer be both conversational and concise?

List ten wordy expressions found in LaRocque’s article that are not in this chapter. Include their shorter forms.

GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHECKUP—4 Adjectives and Adverbs Review Sections 1.16 and 1.17 of the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook. Then study each of the following statements. Underscore any inappropriate forms. In the space provided write the correct form (or C if correct) and the number of the G/M principle illustrated. You may need to consult your dictionary for current practice regarding some compound adjectives. When you finish, compare your responses with those provided at the end of the book. If your answers differ, carefully study the principles in parentheses.

cost-effective

(1.17e)

Example

We need a cost effective solution for this continuing problem.

1. The newly opened restaurant offered many tried and true menu items. 2. Most of the seven year old equipment was still working. 3. Although purchased seven years ago, the equipment still looked brightly. 4. E-mail messages are exchanged so quick that business moves more rapidly than ever. 5. The CEO assured employees that they only had to cut back expenses by 5 percent. 6. You may submit work related expenses to be reimbursed. 7. Ann and Jim said that they’re planning to start there own business next year. 8. Have you ever made a spur of the moment decision? 9. Not all decisions that are made on the spur of the moment turn out badly. 10. The committee offered a well thought out plan to revamp online registration. 11. You must complete a change of address form when you move. 12. Each decision will be made on a case by case basis. 13. I could be more efficient if my printer were more nearer my computer. 14. If you reject his offer to help, Kurt will feel badly. 15. The truck’s engine is running smooth after its tune-up.

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The Writing Process

GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHALLENGE—4 The following letter has faults in grammar, punctuation, conversational language, outdated expressions, sexist language, concise wording, long lead-ins, and other problems. Correct the errors with standard proofreading marks or revise the message online at Guffey Xtra! When you finish, your instructor may show you a possible revision of this letter.

FOREST FINANCIAL SERVICES 3410 Willow Grove Boulevard Philadelphia, PA 19137 215.593.4400 www.forestfinancial.com

June 9, 200x Ms. Bonnie Jeffers First Trust Guaranty, Inc. 1359 North Grand Avenue Walnut, CA 91790 Dear Ms. Jeffer: We are in appreciation of the fact that you have shown patience with us during the time of our merger with Capital One. Pursuant to our telephone conversation this morning, this is to advise that two (2) agent’s packages will be delivered to you next week. Due to the fact that new forms had to be printed; we do not have them immediately available. Although we cannot offer a 50/50 commission split, we are able to offer new agents a 60/40 commission split. There are two new agreement forms that show this commission ratio. When you get ready to sign up a new agent have her fill in these up to date forms. When you send me an executed agency agreement please make every effort to tell me what agency package was assigned to the agent. On the last form that you sent you overlooked this information. We need this information to distribute commissions in an expeditious manner. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to call on me. Yours very sincerely,

Brian Simpson Senior Sales Manager

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Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

TECHNOLOGY USING WORD’S TRACK CHANGES AND COMMENT FEATURES TO EDIT AND REVISE DOCUMENTS Collaborative writing and editing projects are challenging. Fortunately, Microsoft Word offers many useful tools to help team members edit and share documents electronically. Three simple but useful editing tools are Highlight, Font Color, and Strikethrough. These tools, included on the Formatting toolbar, enable reviewers to point out editing problems. For example, notice how you can use Strikethrough to delete a wordy lead-in or use yellow highlighting to call attention to a misspelled word: This is just a note to let you know that I would appreciate you’re help in preparing the announcement about tornado safety tips. Complex projects, however, may require more advanced editing tools such as Track Changes and Insert Comments. Track Changes. To suggest specific editing changes to other team members, Track Changes is handy. The revised wording is visible on the screen, and deletions show up in call-out balloons in the right-hand margin, as shown in the following document. Suggested revisions offered by different team members are identified and dated. The original writer may accept or reject these changes. In recent versions of Word, you’ll find Track Changes on the Tools menu. Insert Comments. By using Insert Comments, you can point out problematic passages or errors, ask or answer questions, and share ideas without changing or adding text. When more than one person adds comments, the comments appear in different colors and are identified by the individual writer’s name. To use this tool in newer versions of Word, each reviewer must click Tools, Options, and fill in the User Information section. To facilitate adding, reviewing, editing, or deleting comments, Word provides a special toolbar. You can activate it by using the View pull-down menu (click Toolbars and Reviewing). On the Reviewing toolbar, click New Comment. Then type your comment, which can be seen by clicking View and Print Layout or Web Layout. In the markup document on page 96, notice how the writer inserted revisions and comments without changing the original text. Career Application. Assume that your team has been asked to revise the complete public service announcement regarding tornado safety tips. Because you are just becoming familiar with Track Changes and Insert Comments, you are expected to make only simple comments and revisions based on the discussion in this chapter. You can learn more about Track Changes by clicking Help and searching for the term.

Your Task Divide into two-person teams. Designate team members A and B. Find “Tornado Safety Tips” in the Chapter 4 materials at Guffey Xtra! and copy the file to your computer. Suggestions for revising the first three paragraphs of this document are shown here. Team Member A is to revise the last three paragraphs by inserting comments directed at Team Member B. A should then e-mail the document as an attachment to B, who will respond with comments indicating agreement or additional revisions. A and B should exchange e-mail messages until they agree on how the document should read. Print and submit the final markup version as well as the final edited version of the entire document. Be sure to click Final or Final Showing Markup when you finish.

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The Writing Process

PHOTOS: © DIGITAL VISION/GETTY IMAGES; © JULES FRAZIER/PHOTODISC/GETTY IMAGES; © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS

CORRESPONDING AT WORK

CHAPTER 5

E-Mail and Memorandums CHAPTER 6

Direct Letters and Goodwill Messages CHAPTER 7

Persuasive Messages CHAPTER 8

Negative Messages

E-MAIL AND MEMORANDUMS E-mail is changing our

OBJECTIVES

behavior, our way of interacting with people, our

• Analyze the writing process and how it helps you produce effective e-mail messages and memos.

institutions. And it is hap-

• Discuss the structure and formatting of e-mail messages and memos.

pening incredibly fast. . . .

• Describe smart e-mail practices, including getting started; content, tone, and correctness; netiquette; reading and replying to e-mail; personal use; and other practices.

Because it’s spread so fast, it has raced ahead of our abilities to fully adapt to this new form of communication.

• Write information and procedure e-mail messages and memos. • Write request and reply e-mail messages and memos.

”

Michael D. Eisner, former CEO, Walt Disney Company1

APPLYING THE WRITING PROCESS TO PRODUCE EFFECTIVE E-MAIL MESSAGES AND MEMOS

E-mail is increasingly the channel of choice for internal messages and even for many external messages.

As former Disney CEO Michael Eisner recognized, e-mail has transformed many aspects of our lives, especially the way business is conducted. Written communication to anyone within the office or almost anywhere in the world can now be completed nearly instantaneously. In the past, internal communication (written messages within organizations) generally took the form of hard-copy memorandums. In today’s workplace e-mail is increasingly the communication channel of choice for most internal and many external messages. Business leaders such as Michael Eisner recognize the functions and benefits but also the potential dangers of e-mail. A primary function of e-mail is exchanging messages within organizations. Such internal communication has taken on increasing importance today. Organizations are downsizing, flattening chains of command, forming work teams, and empowering rank-and-file employees. Given more power in making decisions, employees find that they need more information. They must collect, exchange, and evaluate information about the products and services they offer. Management also needs input from

PHOTOS: © IMAGESOURCE/GETTY IMAGES; © JULES FRAZIER/PHOTODISC/ GETTY IMAGES; © DIGITAL VISION/GETTY IMAGES

“

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Former Disney CEO Michael Eisner thinks long and hard before dashing off e-mail messages, especially when he’s angry. “I learned early in the hard paper world of the ’70s that when I was annoyed with someone, I should write it down in a memo. I would then put the memo in my desk drawer and leave it there until the next day.” By the next morning, his anger had passed; and he realized that telephoning or seeing the other person was a better way to respond.

Skillful documents get the job done and make you look professional.

employees to respond rapidly to local and global market changes. This growing demand for information means an increasing use of e-mail, although hard-copy memos are still written. Developing skill in writing e-mail messages and memos brings you two important benefits. First, well-written documents are likely to achieve their goals. They create goodwill by being cautious, caring, and clear. They do not intentionally or unintentionally create ill feelings. Second, well-written internal messages enhance your image within the organization. Individuals identified as competent, professional writers are noticed and rewarded; most often, they are the ones promoted into management positions. This chapter concentrates on direct e-mail messages and memos. These straightforward messages open with the main idea because their topics are not sensitive and require little persuasion. You’ll study the writing process as well as the structure and format of e-mail messages and memos. Because e-mail is such a powerful channel of communication, we’ll devote special attention to composing smart e-mail messages and reading and responding to e-mail professionally. Finally, you’ll learn to write procedure, information, request, and reply messages. Careful writing takes time—especially at first. By following a systematic plan and practicing your skill, however, you can speed up your efforts and greatly improve the product. Let’s review the three-phase writing process to see how it applies to e-mail messages and memos.

Phase 1: Analysis, Anticipation, and Adaptation Before writing, ask questions that help you analyze, anticipate, and adapt your message.

In Phase 1, prewriting, you’ll need to spend some time analyzing your task. It’s amazing how many of us are ready to put our pens or computers into gear before engaging our minds. Before writing, ask yourself these important questions: • Do I really need to write this e-mail or memo? A phone call or a quick visit to a nearby coworker might solve the problem—and save the time and expense of a written message. On the other hand, some written messages are needed to provide a permanent record. • Should I send an e-mail or a hard-copy memo? It’s tempting to use e-mail for all your correspondence. But a phone call or face-to-face visit is a better channel choice if you need to (1) convey enthusiasm, warmth, or other emotion; (2) supply a context; or (3) smooth over disagreements.

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•

Why am I writing? Know why you are writing

and what you hope to achieve. This will help you recognize what the important points are and where to place them. • How will the reader react? Visualize the reader and the effect your message will have. In writing e-mail messages and memos, imagine that you are sitting and talking with your reader. Avoid speaking bluntly, failing to explain, or ignoring your reader’s needs. Consider ways to shape the message to benefit the reader. Also be careful about what you say because your message may very well be forwarded to someone else—or may be read by your boss. • How can I save my reader’s time? Think of ways that you can make your message easier to comprehend at a glance. Use bullets, asterisks, lists, headings, and white space to improve readability.

Phase 2: Research, Organization, and Composition Gather background information; organize it into an outline; compose your message; and revise for clarity, correctness, and feedback.

Phase 2, writing, involves gathering documentation, organizing, and actually composing the first draft. Although some of your e-mail messages and memos will be short, you’ll want to follow these steps in the process to ensure an effective message: • Conduct research. Check the files, talk with your boss, and possibly consult the target audience to collect information before you begin to write. Gather any documentation necessary to support your message. • Organize your information. Make a brief outline of the points you want to cover in your message. For short messages jot down notes on the document you are answering or make a scratch list at your computer. • Compose your first draft. At your computer compose the message from your outline. As you compose, avoid amassing huge blocks of text. No one wants to read endless lines of type. Instead, group related information into paragraphs, preferably short ones. Paragraphs separated by white space look inviting. Be sure each paragraph begins with the main point and is backed up by details. If you bury your main point in the middle of a paragraph, it may be missed.

Phase 3: Revision, Proofreading, and Evaluation Phase 3, revising, involves putting the final touches on your message. Careful and caring writers will ask a number of questions as they do the following: • Revise for clarity and conciseness. Viewed from the receiver’s perspective, are the ideas clear? Do they need more explanation? If the message is passed on to others, will they need further explanation? Consider having a colleague critique your message if it is an important one. • Proofread for correctness. Are the sentences complete and punctuated properly? Did you overlook any typos or misspelled words? Remember to use your spell checker and grammar checker to proofread your message before sending it. • Plan for feedback. How will you know whether this message is successful? You can improve feedback by asking questions (such as Are you comfortable with these suggestions? or What do you think?). Remember to make it easy for the receiver to respond.

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ANALYZING THE STRUCTURE AND FORMAT OF E-MAIL MESSAGES AND MEMOS E-mail messages and memos inform employees, request data, give responses, confirm decisions, and provide directions.

Whether electronic or hard copy, direct e-mail messages and memos generally contain four parts: (1) an informative subject line that summarizes the message, (2) an opening that reveals the main idea immediately, (3) a body that explains and justifies the main idea, and (4) an appropriate closing.

Writing the Subject Line Subject lines summarize the purpose of the message in abbreviated form.

In e-mails and memos an informative subject line is mandatory. It summarizes the central idea, thus providing quick identification for reading and for filing. In e-mail messages, subject lines are essential. Busy readers glance at a subject line and decide whether and when to read the message. Those without subject lines are often automatically deleted. What does it take to get your message read? For one thing, stay away from meaningless or dangerous words. A sure way to get your message deleted or ignored is to use a one-word heading such as Issue, Problem, Important, or Help. Including a word such as Free is dangerous because it may trigger spam filters. Try to make your subject line “talk” by including a verb. Explain the purpose of the message and how it relates to the reader (Need You to Showcase Two Items at Our Next Trade Show rather than Trade Show). Finally, update your subject line to reflect the current message (Staff Meeting Rescheduled for May 12 rather than Re: Re: Staff Meeting). A subject line is usually written in an abbreviated style, often without articles (a, an, the). It need not be a complete sentence, and it does not end with a period.

Opening With the Main Idea Direct e-mails and memos open by revealing the main idea immediately.

Most e-mails and memos cover nonsensitive information that can be handled in a straightforward manner. Begin by frontloading; that is, reveal the main idea immediately. Even though the purpose of the memo or e-mail is summarized in the subject line, that purpose should be restated—and amplified—in the first sentence. Busy readers want to know immediately why they are reading a message. As you learned in Chapter 3, most messages should begin directly. Notice how the following indirect opener can be improved by frontloading.

Indirect Opening

Direct Opening

For the past six months the Human Resources Development Department has been considering changes in our employee benefit plan.

Please review the following proposal regarding employee benefits, and let me know by May 20 if you approve these changes.

Explaining in the Body Designed for easy comprehension, the body explains one topic.

The body provides more information about the reason for writing. It explains and discusses the subject logically. Good e-mail messages and memos generally discuss only one topic. Limiting the topic helps the receiver act on the subject and file it appropriately. A writer who, for example, describes a computer printer problem and also requests permission to attend a conference runs a 50 percent failure risk. The reader may respond to the printer problem but forget about the conference request. The body of e-mail messages and memos should have high skim value. This means that information should be easy to read and comprehend. Three techniques for improving readability include lists, headings, and graphics techniques.

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Because business communicators often juggle many tasks and projects at the same time, they appreciate e-mail messages that are wellorganized with listed items and headings that provide high “skim value.”

USING NUMBERED AND BULLETED LISTS FOR QUICK COMPREHENSION

Numbered lists represent sequences; bulleted lists highlight items that may not show a sequence.

One of the best ways to ensure rapid comprehension of ideas is through the use of numbered or bulleted lists. Ideas formerly buried within sentences or paragraphs stand out when listed. Readers not only understand your message more rapidly and easily but also consider you efficient and well organized. Lists provide high “skim value.” This means that readers use lists to read quickly and grasp main ideas. By breaking up complex information into smaller chunks, lists improve readability, comprehension, and retention. They also force the writer to organize ideas and write efficiently. Use numbered lists for items that represent a sequence or reflect a numbering system. Use bulleted lists to highlight items that don’t necessarily show a chronology.

Numbered List

Bulleted List

Our recruiters follow these steps in hiring applicants: 1. Examine the application. 2. Interview the applicant. 3. Check the applicant’s references.

To attract upscale customers, we feature the following: • Quality fashions • Personalized service • A generous return policy

In listing items vertically, capitalize the word at the beginning of each line. Add end punctuation only if the statements are complete sentences. Be sure to use parallel construction. Notice in the numbered list that each item begins with a verb. In the bulleted list each item follows an adjective/noun sequence. Be careful, however, not to overuse the list format. One writing expert warns that too many lists make messages look like grocery lists.2 ADDING HEADINGS FOR VISUAL IMPACT Headings that summarize ideas enable readers to preview and review quickly.

Headings are another important tool for highlighting information and improving readability. They encourage the writer to organize carefully so that similar material is grouped together. This helps the reader separate major ideas from details. Moreover, headings enable a busy reader to skim familiar or less important information. They also provide a quick preview or review. Headings appear most often in reports, which you’ll study in greater detail in Unit 4. However, main headings, subheadings,

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Effective category headings summarize topics in parallel form to help readers grasp ideas quickly.

and category headings can also improve readability in e-mail messages, memos, and letters. Here, they are used with bullets to summarize categories:

Category Headings Our company focuses on the following areas in the employment process: • Attracting applicants. We advertise for qualified applicants, and we also encourage current employees to recommend good people. • Interviewing applicants. Our specialized interviews include simulated customer encounters as well as scrutiny by supervisors. • Checking references. We investigate every applicant thoroughly, including conversations with former employers and all listed references. IMPROVING READABILITY WITH OTHER GRAPHICS TECHNIQUES Vertical lists and headings are favorite tools for improving readability, but other graphics techniques can also focus attention. To highlight individual words, use CAPITAL letters, underlining, bold type, or italics. Be careful with these techniques, though, because readers may feel they are being shouted at. One final technique to enhance comprehension is blank space. Space is especially important in e-mail messages when formatting techniques don’t always work. Grouping ideas under capitalized headings with blank space preceding the heading can greatly improve readability.

Closing With a Purpose Messages should close with (1) action information including dates and deadlines, (2) a summary, or (3) a closing thought.

Generally close an e-mail message or a memo with (1) action information, dates, or deadlines; (2) a summary of the message; or (3) a closing thought. Here again the value of thinking through the message before actually writing it becomes apparent. The closing is where readers look for deadlines and action language. An effective memo or e-mail closing might be, Please submit your report by June 15 so that we can have your data before our July planning session. In more complex messages a summary of main points may be an appropriate closing. If no action request is made and a closing summary is unnecessary, you might end with a simple concluding thought (I’m glad to answer your questions or This sounds like a useful project ). You needn’t close messages to coworkers with goodwill statements such as those found in letters to customers or clients. However, some closing thought is often necessary to prevent a feeling of abruptness. Closings can show gratitude or encourage feedback with remarks such as I sincerely appreciate your help or What are your ideas on this proposal? Other closings look forward to what’s next, such as How would you like to proceed? Avoid closing with overused expressions such as Please let me know if I may be of further assistance. This ending sounds mechanical and insincere.

Putting It All Together Now let’s follow the development of a routine information e-mail message to see how we can apply the ideas just discussed. Figure 5.1 shows the first draft of an e-mail message James Perkins, marketing manager, wrote to his boss, Jie Wang. Although it contained solid information, the message was so wordy and dense that the main points were submerged. After writing the first draft, James realized that he needed to reorganize his message into an opening, body, and closing. He also desperately needed to improve the readability. In studying what he had written, he realized that he was talking about two main problems. He also discovered that he could present a three-part solution. These ideas didn’t occur to him until he had written the first draft. Only in the revision stage was he able to see in his own mind that he was talking about two separate problems

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FIGURE 5.1

Information E-Mail Message

Corresponding at Work

before revision To From Subject:

Jie Wang James Perkins Problems

This is in response to your recent inquiry about our customer database. Your message of May 9 said that you wanted to know how to deal with the database problems. I can tell you that the biggest problem is that it contains a lot of outdated information, including customers who haven’t purchased anything in five or more years. Another problem is that the old database is not compatible with the new Access software that is being used by our mailing service, and this makes it difficult to merge files. I think I can solve both problems, however, by starting a new database. This would be the place where we put the names of all new customers. And we would have it keyed using Access software. The problem with outdated information could be solved by finding out if the customers in our old database wish to continue receiving our newsletter and product announcements. Finally, we would rekey the names of all active customers in the new database.

Uses meaningless subject line Fails to reveal purpose quickly Buries two problems and three-part solution in huge paragraph

Forgets to conclude with next action and end date

after revision Informative subject line summarizes purpose

Opening states purpose concisely and highlights two problems

Body organizes main points for readability Closing includes key benefit, deadline, and next action

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Revision helps you think through a problem, clarify a solution, and express it clearly.

as well as a three-part solution. The revision process can help you think through a problem and clarify a solution. In the revised version, James was more aware of the subject line, opening, body, and closing. He used an informative subject line and opened directly by explaining why he was writing. His opening also outlined the two main problems so that his reader understood the background of the following recommendations. In the body of his message, James identified three corrective actions, and he highlighted them for improved readability. Notice that he listed his three recommendations using numbers (bullets don’t always transmit well in e-mail messages) with capitalized headings. Numbers, asterisks, white space, and capitalized letters work well in e-mail messages to highlight important points. Notice, too, that James closed his message with a deadline and a reference to the next action to be taken.

Formatting E-Mail Messages Because e-mail is a developing communication channel, its formatting and usage conventions are still fluid. Users and authorities, for instance, do not always agree on what’s appropriate for salutations and closings. The following suggestions, however, can guide you in formatting most e-mail messages, but always check with your organization to observe its practices. GUIDE WORDS E-mails contain guide words, optional salutations, and a concise and easy-to-read message.

Following the guide word To, some writers insert just the recipient’s electronic address, such as [emailprotected]. Other writers prefer to include the receiver’s full name plus the electronic address, as shown in Figure 5.2. By including full names in the To and From slots, both receivers and senders are better able to identify the message. By the way, the order of Date, To, From, Subject, and other guide words varies depending on your e-mail program and whether you are sending or receiving the message. Most e-mail programs automatically add the current date after Date. On the Cc line (which stands for carbon or courtesy copy) you can type the address of anyone who is to receive a copy of the message. Remember, though, to send copies only to those people directly involved with the message. Most e-mail programs also include a line for Bcc (blind carbon copy ). This sends a copy without the addressee’s knowledge. Many savvy writers today use Bcc for the names and addresses of a list of receivers, a technique that avoids revealing the addresses to the entire group. On the subject line, identify the subject of the memo. Be sure to include enough information to be clear and compelling. SALUTATION

On messages to outsiders, salutations are important to show friendliness and to indicate the beginning of the message.

How to treat the salutation is a problem. Many writers omit a salutation because they consider the message a memo. In the past, hard-copy memos were sent only to company insiders, and salutations were omitted. However, when e-mail messages travel to outsiders, omitting a salutation seems curt and unfriendly. Because the message is more like a letter, a salutation is appropriate (such as Dear Jake; Hi, Jake; Greetings; or just Jake). Including a salutation is also a visual cue to where the message begins. Many messages are transmitted or forwarded with such long headers that finding the beginning of the message can be difficult. A salutation helps, as shown in Figure 5.2. Other writers do not use a salutation; instead, they use the name of the recipient in the first sentence. BODY When typing the body of an e-mail message, use standard caps and lowercase characters—never all uppercase or all lowercase characters. Cover just one topic, and try to keep the total message under three screens in length. To assist you, many e-mail programs have basic text-editing features, such as cut, copy, paste, and wordwrap. However, avoid graphics, font changes, boldface, and italics unless your reader’s system can handle them. Some e-mail writers use _Book Title_ to show

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FIGURE 5.2

Formatting an E-Mail Request

Corresponding at Work

Sender elects to type full name and electronic address of receiver

Program provides date automatically Includes salutation because message is going to outsider

Double-spaces between paragraphs

Lists questions to improve readability

Provides end date to motivate action Includes full address since message is going to outsider

Tips for E-Mail Formatting • After To, type the receiver’s electronic address. If you include the receiver’s name, enclose the address in angle brackets. • After From, type your name and electronic address, if your program does not insert it automatically. • After Subject, present a clear description of the message. Use all caps or uppercase for the initial letters of principal words. • Insert the addresses of anyone receiving courtesy or blind copies. • Include a salutation (such as Dear Melinda; Hi, Melinda; Greetings) or weave the receiver’s name into the first line. Some writers omit a salutation. • Double-space (press Enter) between paragraphs. • Do not type in all caps or in all lowercase letters. • Include a complimentary close, your name, and full address if appropriate.

underlining and *emphasized word* to show italics. However, as more and more programs offer HTML formatting options, writers are able to use all the graphics, colors, and fonts available in their word processing program. CLOSING LINES E-mail messages to outsiders should include the writer’s name and identification.

Writers of e-mail messages sent within organizations may omit closings and even skip their names at the end of messages. To be safe, however, always type your name. It identifies you and helps readers sort out your message within a string (thread) of messages. It also personalizes your message. For messages going to outsiders, include

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a closing such as Cheers or All the best followed by the writer’s name and e-mail address (because some systems do not transmit your address automatically). If the recipient is unlikely to know you, it’s wise to include your title, organization, full address, and telephone. Some veteran e-mail users include a signature file with identifying information embellished with keyboard art.

Formatting Hard-Copy Memos Hard-copy memos are useful for internal messages that require a permanent record or formality.

Hard-copy memorandums deliver information within organizations. Although e-mail is more often used, hard-copy memos are still useful for important internal messages that require a permanent record or formality. For example, changes in procedures, official instructions, and organization reports are often prepared as hard-copy memos. Because e-mail is new and still evolving, we examined its formatting carefully in the previous paragraphs. Hard-copy memos require less instruction because formatting is fairly standardized. Some offices use memo forms imprinted with the organization name and, optionally, the department or division names. Although the design and arrangement of memo forms vary, they usually include the basic elements of Date, To, From, and Subject. Large organizations may include other identifying headings, such as File Number, Floor, Extension, Location, and Distribution. Because of the difficulty of aligning computer printers with preprinted forms, many business writers store memo formats in their computers and call them up when preparing memos. The guide words are then printed with the message, thus eliminating alignment problems. If no printed or stored computer forms are available, memos may be typed on company letterhead, as shown in Figure 5.3, or typed on plain paper. On a full sheet of paper, start the guide words 2 inches from the top; on a half sheet, start 1 inch from the top. Double-space and type in all caps the guide words. Align all the fill-in information 2 spaces after the longest guide word (usually Subject). Leave 2 blank lines between the last line of the heading and the first line of the memo. Single-space within paragraphs and double-space between paragraphs. Memos are generally formatted with side margins of 1 to 1.25 inches, or they may conform to the printed memo form. Do not justify the right margins. Research has shown that “ragged-right” margins in printed messages are easier to read.

USING E-MAIL SMARTLY AND SAFELY

E-mail messages may be dangerous because they travel long distances and are difficult to erase.

Escalation in the popularity and use of e-mail staggers the imagination. Worldwide e-mail traffic is expected to triple between 2005 and 2009, from 100 million to over 300 million messages.3 E-mail is now twice as likely as the telephone to be used to communicate at work. One survey revealed that the average employee spends about 25 percent of the workday on e-mail.4 We have become so dependent on e-mail that 53 percent of people using it at work say that their productivity drops when they are away from it.5 Most of us admit that we can’t get along without e-mail. But wise communicators recognize its dangers as well as its benefits. Disney’s Michael Eisner gave a speech to University of Southern California students telling them of his experience and warning that thoughtless messages could cause irreparable harm.6 Wise communicators know that their messages can travel (intentionally or unintentionally) long distances. A quickly drafted note may end up in the boss’s mailbox or be forwarded to an adversary’s box. Making matters worse, computers—like elephants and spurned lovers—never forget. Even erased messages can remain on network servers. Increasingly, e-mail has turned into the “smoking gun” uncovered by prosecutors to prove indelicate or even illegal intentions.7 E-mail has become the corporate equivalent of DNA evidence. Like forgotten land mines, damaging e-mails have been dug up to prove a prosecutor’s case. For example, in the antitrust suit against Microsoft, Bill Gates squirmed when the court heard his e-mail in which he asked, “How much do we need to pay you to screw

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FIGURE 5.3

Hard-Copy Memo—Reply to Request

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Mercer Enterprises, Inc. Interoffice Memo Lines up all heading words with those following Subject

DATE:

September 5, 200X

TO:

Mary L. Tucker, Vice President

FROM:

Linda P. Thompson, Marketing Director

SUBJECT:

SCHEDULING MANAGEMENT COUNCIL SPEAKERS

In response to your request, I’m happy to act as program chair for this year’s luncheon meetings of the management council. Here’s a tentative lineup of speakers I’ve scheduled for the first three meetings.

Lists data in columns with headings and white space for easy reading

Date November 14

Speaker Dr. Linda Cooper Psychologist, Macon State

Topic Successful Performance Appraisals

January 12

Jeanette Spencer President, Spencer & Associates

Conducting Legal Job Interviews

March 13

Dr. Jackie Hartman Colorado Consultants

Avoiding Sexual Harassment Suits

Provides initials after printed name and title

Leaves side margins of 1.25 inches

As you suggested, I consulted other members of the council regarding an honorarium for the speakers. Kay Durden, Charles Bretan, Susan Heller, and I agreed that $300 was a reasonable sum to offer. The three speakers listed above seemed to consider $300 an acceptable amount. For the last meeting in May, we have three topic possibilities. Which program would you prefer?

Provides deadline and reason

Omits a complimentary close and signature

• • •

Time Management for Today’s Managers Effective Use of Intranets and Web Sites Performing Background Checks on Prospective Employees

Because other members of the council were evenly divided among the choices, they wanted you to make the final decision. On the attached copy, just circle the program you prefer. Please respond by September 7 so that I can complete the schedule before sending out an announcement of the next meeting.

Uses ragged line endings (not justified)

Attachment

Tips for Formatting Hard-Copy Memos • Set one tab to align entries evenly after Subject. • Type the subject line in all caps or capitalize the initial letters of principal words. • Leave 1 or 2 blank lines after the subject line. • Single-space all but the shortest memos. Double-space between paragraphs. • For full-page memos on plain paper, leave a 2-inch top margin. • For half-page memos, leave a 1-inch top margin. • Use 1.25-inch side margins. • For a two-page memo, use a second-page heading with the addressee’s name, page number, and date. • Hardwrite your initials after your typed name. • Place bulleted or numbered lists flush left or indent them 0.5 inches.

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Netscape?” In another case banker Frank Quattrone was found guilty of obstructing justice based on an e-mail message in which he instructed employees to “clean up” their e-mail files after he learned that he was being investigated for securities irregularities.8 More often, e-mail writers simply forget that their message is a permanent record. “It’s as if people put their brains on hold when they write e-mail,” said one expert. “They think that e-mail is a substitute for a phone call, and that’s the danger.”9 Another observer noted that e-mail is like an electronic truth serum.10 Writers seem to blurt out thoughts without reflecting. Early e-mail users were encouraged to ignore stylistic and grammatical considerations. They thought that “words on the fly” required little editing or proofing. Correspondents used emoticons (such as sideways happy faces) to express their emotions. Some e-mail today is still quick and dirty. As this communication channel continues to mature, however, messages are becoming more proper, more professional, and more careful.

Getting Started Because e-mail is now a mainstream communication channel, messages should be well organized, carefully composed, and grammatically correct.

Despite its dangers and limitations, e-mail is a mainstream channel of communication. That’s why it’s important to take the time to organize your thoughts, compose carefully, and be concerned with correct grammar and punctuation. The following pointers will help you get off to a good start in using e-mail smartly and safely. • Consider composing offline. Especially for important messages, think about using your word processing program to write offline. Then upload your message to the e-mail network. This avoids “self-destructing” (losing all your writing through some glitch or pressing the wrong key) when working online. • Get the address right. E-mail addresses are sometimes complex, often illogical, and always unforgiving. Omit one character or misread the letter l for the number 1, and your message bounces. Solution: Use your electronic address book for people you write to frequently. Double-check every address that you key in manually. Also be sure that you don’t reply to a group of receivers when you intend to answer only one. • Avoid misleading subject lines. As discussed earlier, make sure your subject line is relevant and helpful. Generic tags such as Hi! and Important! may cause your message to be deleted before it is opened. • Apply the top-of-screen test. When readers open your message and look at the first screen, will they see what is most significant? Your subject line and first paragraph should convey your purpose.

Content, Tone, and Correctness

Avoid sending sensitive, confidential, inflammatory, or potentially embarrassing messages because e-mail is not private.

Although e-mail seems as casual as a telephone call, it’s not. Because it produces a permanent record, think carefully about what you say and how you say it. • Be concise. Don’t burden readers with unnecessary information. Remember that monitors are small and typefaces are often difficult to read. Organize your ideas tightly. • Don’t send anything you wouldn’t want published. Because e-mail seems like a telephone call or a person-to-person conversation, writers sometimes send sensitive, confidential, inflammatory, or potentially embarrassing messages. Beware! E-mail creates a permanent record that does not go away even when deleted. Every message is a corporate communication that can be used against you or your employer. Don’t write anything that you wouldn’t want your boss, your family, or a judge to read! • Don’t use e-mail to avoid contact. E-mail is inappropriate for breaking bad news or for resolving arguments. For example, it’s improper to fire a person by e-mail. It’s also not a good channel for dealing with conflict with supervisors, subordinates, or others. If there is any possibility of hurt feelings, pick up the telephone or pay the person a visit.

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•

• •

Care about correctness. People are still judged by their writing, whether electronic or paper-based. Sloppy e-mail messages (with missing apostrophes, haphazard spelling, and stream-of-consciousness writing) make readers work too hard. They resent not only the information but also the writer. Care about tone. Your words and writing style affect the reader. Avoid sounding curt, negative, or domineering. Resist humor and tongue-in-cheek comments. Without the nonverbal cues conveyed by your face and your voice, humor can easily be misunderstood.

Netiquette

Don’t send blanket copies or spam, reduce attachments, and use identifying labels if appropriate.

Although e-mail is a relatively new communication channel, a number of rules of polite online interaction are emerging. • Limit any tendency to send blanket copies. Send copies only to people who really need to see a message. It is unnecessary to document every business decision and action with an electronic paper trail. • Never send “spam.” Sending unsolicited advertisements (“spam”) either by fax or e-mail is illegal in the United States. • Consider using identifying labels. When appropriate, add one of the following labels to the subject line: Action (action required, please respond); FYI (for your information, no response needed); Re (this is a reply to another message); Urgent (please respond immediately). • Use capital letters only for emphasis or for titles. Avoid writing entire messages in all caps, which is like SHOUTING. • Don’t forward without permission. Obtain approval before forwarding a message. • Reduce attachments. Because attachments may carry viruses, some receivers won’t open them. Consider including short attachments within an e-mail message. If you must send a longer attachment, explain it.

Reading and Replying to E-Mail The following tips can save you time and frustration when reading and answering messages: • Scan all messages in your inbox before replying to each individually. Because subsequent messages often affect the way you respond, skim all messages first (especially all those from the same individual). • Print only when necessary. Generally, read and answer most messages online without saving or printing. Use folders to archive messages on special topics. Print only those messages that are complex, controversial, or involve significant decisions and follow-up.

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Skim all messages before responding, paste in relevant sections, revise the subject if the topic changes, provide a clear first sentence, and never respond when angry.

•

Acknowledge receipt. If you can’t reply immediately, tell when you can (Will respond Friday).

• • • •

Don’t automatically return the sender’s message. When replying, cut and paste the relevant parts. Avoid irritating your recipients by returning the entire “thread” (sequence of messages) on a topic. Revise the subject line if the topic changes. When replying or continuing an e-mail exchange, revise the subject line as the topic changes. Provide a clear, complete first sentence. Avoid fragments such as That’s fine with me or Sounds good! Busy respondents forget what was said in earlier messages, so be sure to fill in the context and your perspective when responding. Never respond when you’re angry. Always allow some time to cool off before shooting off a response to an upsetting message. You often come up with different and better alternatives after thinking about what was said. If possible, iron out differences in person.

Personal Use Remember that office computers are meant for work-related communication. • Don’t use company computers for personal matters. Unless your company specifically allows it, never use your employer’s computers for personal messages, personal shopping, or entertainment. • Assume that all e-mail is monitored. Employers legally have the right to monitor e-mail, and many do.

Other Smart E-Mail Practices

Design your messages to enhance readability, and double-check before sending.

Depending on your messages and audience, the following tips promote effective electronic communication. • Use design to improve the readability of longer messages. When a message requires several screens, help the reader with headings, bulleted listings, side headings, and perhaps an introductory summary that describes what will follow. Although these techniques lengthen a message, they shorten reading time. • Consider cultural differences. When using this borderless tool, be especially clear and precise in your language. Remember that figurative clichés (pull up stakes, playing second fiddle), sports references (hit a home run, play by the rules), and slang (cool, stoked) cause confusion abroad. • Double-check before hitting the Send button. Have you included everything? Avoid the necessity of sending a second message, which makes you look careless. Use spell-check and reread for fluency before sending. It’s also a good idea to check your incoming messages before sending, especially if several people are involved in a rapid-fire exchange. This helps avoid “passing”—sending out a message that might be altered depending on an incoming note.

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WRITING INFORMATION AND PROCEDURE E-MAIL MESSAGES AND MEMOS

Writing plans help beginners get started by providing an outline of what to include.

Thus far in this chapter we’ve reviewed the writing process, analyzed the structure and format of e-mail messages and memos, and presented a number of techniques for using e-mail smartly and safely. Now we’re going to apply those techniques to two categories of messages that you can expect to be writing as a business communicator: (1) information and procedure messages and (2) request and reply messages. In this book you will be shown a number of writing plans appropriate for different messages. These plans provide a skeleton; they are the bones of a message. Writers provide the flesh. Simply plugging in phrases or someone else’s words won’t work. Good writers provide details and link their ideas with transitions to create fluent and meaningful messages. However, a writing plan helps you get started and gives you ideas about what to include. At first, you will probably rely on these plans considerably. As you progress, they will become less important. Later in the book, no plans are provided.

Writing Plan for Information and Procedure E-Mail Messages and Memos

• • • • Information and procedure messages generally flow downward from management to employees.

Procedures and instructions are often written in numbered steps using command language (Do this, don’t do that ).

Subject line: Summarize the content of the message. Opening: Expand the subject line by stating the main idea concisely in a full sentence. Body: Provide background data and explain the main idea. In describing a procedure or giving instructions, use command language (do this, don’t do that). Closing: Request action, summarize the message, or present a closing thought.

Information and procedure messages distribute routine information, describe procedures, and deliver instructions. They typically flow downward from management to employees and relate to the daily operation of an organization. In writing these messages, you have one primary function: conveying your idea so clearly that no further explanation (return message, telephone call, or personal visit) is necessary. You’ve already seen the development of a routine information message in Figure 5.1. It follows the writing plan with an informative subject line, an opening that states the purpose directly, and a body that organizes the information for maximum readability. The closing in an information message depends on what was discussed. If the message involves an action request, it should appear in the closing—not in the opening or in the body. If no action is required, the closing can summarize the message or offer some kind of closing thought. Procedure messages must be especially clear and readable. Figure 5.4 shows the first draft of a hard-copy memo written by Troy Bell. His memo was meant to announce a new procedure for employees to follow in advertising open positions. However, the tone was negative, the explanation of the problem rambled, and the new procedure was unclear. Notice, too, that Troy’s first draft told readers what they shouldn’t do (Do not submit advertisements for new employees directly to an Internet job bank or a newspaper). It’s more helpful to tell readers what they should do. Finally, Troy’s memos closed with a threat instead of showing readers how this new procedure will help them. In the revision Troy improved the tone considerably. The subject line contains a please, which is always pleasant to see even if one is giving an order. The subject line also includes a verb and specifies the purpose of the memo. Instead of expressing his ideas with negative words and threats, Troy revised his message to explain objectively and concisely what went wrong. Troy realized that his original explanation of the new procedure was vague. Messages explaining procedures are most readable when the instructions are broken down into numbered steps listed chronologically. Each step should begin with an action verb in the command mode. Notice in Troy’s revision in Figure 5.4 that

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FIGURE 5.4

Procedure Memo

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before revision TO: FROM: SUBJECT:

Ruth DiSilvestro, Manager Troy Bell, Human Resources Job Advertisement Misunderstanding

Vague, negative subject line

We had no idea last month when we implemented new hiring procedures that major problems would result. Due to the fact that every department is now placing Internet advertisements for new-hires individually, the difficulties occurred. This cannot continue. Perhaps we did not make it clear at that time, but all newly hired employees who are hired for a position should be requested through this office. Do not submit your advertisements for new employees directly to an Internet job bank or a newspaper. After writing them, they should be brought to Human Resources, where they will be centralized. You should discuss each ad with one of our counselors. Then we will place the ad at an appropriate Internet site or other publication. If you do not follow these guidelines, chaos will result. You may pick up applicant folders from us the day after the closing date in an ad.

Fails to pinpoint main idea in opening New procedure is hard to follow Uses threats instead of showing benefits to reader

after revision

Combines “you” view with main idea in opening

DATE:

January 5, 200x

TO:

Ruth DiSilvestro, Manager

FROM:

Troy Bell, Human Resources.

SUBJECT:

Please Follow New Job Advertisement Procedure

To find the right candidates for your open positions as fast as possible, we’re implementing a new routine. Effective today, all advertisements for departmental job openings should be routed through the Human Resources Department. A major problem resulted from the change in hiring procedures implemented last month. Each department is placing job advertisements for new hires individually, when all such requests should be centralized in this office. To process applications more efficiently, please follow this procedure:

Informative, courteous, upbeat subject line

Explains why change in procedures is necessary

1. Write an advertisement for a position in your department.

Lists easy-tofollow steps; starts each with a verb

2. Bring the ad to Human Resources and discuss it with one of our counselors. 3. Let Human Resources place the ad at an appropriate Internet job bank or submit it to a newspaper. 4. Pick up applicant folders from Human Resources the day following the closing date provided in the ad. Following these guidelines will save you work and will also enable Human Resources to help you fill your openings more quickly. Call Ann Edmonds at Ext. 2505 if you have questions about this procedure.

Closes by reinforcing benefits to reader

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Parallel language (balanced construction) improves readability and makes the writer look professional.

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numbered items begin with Write, Bring, Let, and Pick up. It’s sometimes difficult to force all the steps in a procedure into this kind of command language. Troy struggled, but by trying out different wording, he finally found verbs that worked. Why should you go to so much trouble to make lists and achieve parallelism? Because readers can comprehend what you have said much more quickly. Parallel language also makes you look professional and efficient. In writing information and procedure messages, be careful of tone. Today’s managers and team leaders seek employee participation and cooperation. These goals can’t be achieved, though, if the writer sounds like a dictator or an autocrat. Avoid making accusations and fixing blame. Rather, explain changes, give reasons, and suggest benefits to the reader. Assume that employees want to contribute to the success of the organization and to their own achievement. Notice in the Figure 5.4 revision that Troy tells readers that they will save time and have their open positions filled more quickly if they follow the new procedures. The writing of instructions and procedures is so important that we have developed a special bonus online supplement providing you with more examples and information. This online supplement extends your textbook with in-depth material including links to real businesses to show you examples of well-written procedures and instructions. To use this free supplement, go to Guffey Xtra! (http://guffeyxtra .swlearning.com) and locate How to Write Instructions.

WRITING REQUEST AND REPLY E-MAIL MESSAGES AND MEMOS Business organizations require information as their fuel. To make operations run smoothly, managers and employees request information from each other and then respond to those requests. Knowing how to write those requests and responses efficiently and effectively can save you time and make you look good.

Writing Plan for Request Messages

• • •

Subject line: Summarize the request and note the action desired. Opening: Begin with the request or a brief statement introducing it. Body: Provide background, justification, and details. If asking questions, list them

•

in parallel form. Closing: Request action by a specific date. If possible, provide a reason. Express appreciation, if appropriate.

Making Requests Use the direct approach in routine requests for information or action, opening with the most important question, a polite command, or a brief introductory statement.

If you are requesting routine information or action within an organization, the direct approach works best. Generally, this means asking for information or making the request without first providing elaborate explanations and justifications. Remember that readers are usually thinking, “Why me? Why am I receiving this?” Readers can understand the explanation better once they know what you are requesting. If you are seeking answers to questions, you have three options for opening the message: (1) ask the most important question first, followed by an explanation and then the other questions; (2) use a polite command (Please answer the following questions regarding . . .); or (3) introduce the questions with a brief statement (Your answers to the following questions will help us . . .). In the body of the memo, explain and justify your request. When you must ask many questions, list them, being careful to phrase them similarly. Be courteous and friendly. In the closing include an end date (with a reason, if possible) to promote a quick response. The e-mail message shown in Figure 5.5 requests information. The functional subject line uses a verb in noting the action desired (Need Your Reactions to Our CasualDress Policy). The reader knows immediately what is being requested. The message opens with a polite command followed by a brief explanation. Notice that the questions are highlighted with asterisks to provide the high “skim value” that is important in

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FIGURE 5.5

Request E-Mail Message

115

Provides functional subject line noting desired action Includes the receiver’s name in the first sentence

Opens directly by immediately describing the request Explains reasoning behind request and gives details

Lists questions in parallel form and uses asterisks to produce high “skim value”

Closes with end date and reason

business messages. The reader can quickly see what is being asked. The message concludes with an end date and a reason. Providing an end date helps the reader know how to plan a response so that action is completed by the date given. Expressions such as do it whenever you can or complete it as soon as possible make little impression on procrastinators or very busy people. It’s always wise to provide a specific date for completion. Dates can be entered on calendars to serve as reminders.

Replying to Requests Much business correspondence reacts or responds to previous messages. When replying to an e-mail, memo, or other document, be sure to follow the three-phase writing process. Analyze your purpose and audience, collect whatever information is necessary, and organize your thoughts. Make a brief outline of the points you plan to cover following this writing plan: Writing Plan for Replies

• • • • Overused and long-winded openers bore readers and waste their time.

Subject line: Summarize the main information from your reply. Opening: Start directly by responding to the request with a summary statement. Body: Provide additional information and details in a readable format. Closing: Add a concluding remark, summary, or offer of further assistance.

Writers sometimes fall into bad habits in replying to messages. Here are some trite and long-winded openers that are best avoided: In response to your message of the 15th . . . (States the obvious) Thank you for your memo of the 15th in which you . . . (Suggests the writer can think of nothing more original) I have before me your memo of the 15th in which you . . . (Unnecessarily identifies the location of the previous message)

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Pursuant to your request of the 15th . . . (Sounds old-fashioned) This is to inform you that . . . (Delays getting to the point) Direct opening statements can also be cheerful and empathic.

Instead of falling into the trap of using one of the preceding shopworn openings, start directly by responding to the writer’s request. If you agree to the request, show your cheerful compliance immediately. Consider these good-news openers: Yes, we will be glad to . . . (Sends message of approval by opening with “Yes.”) Here are answers to the questions you asked about . . . (Sounds straightforward, businesslike, and professional.) You’re right in seeking advice about . . . (Opens with two words that every reader enjoys seeing and hearing.) We are happy to assist you in . . . (Shows writer’s helpful nature and goodwill.) As you requested, I am submitting . . . (Gets right to the point.) After a direct and empathic opener, provide the information requested in a logical and coherent order. If you are answering a number of questions, arrange your answers in the order of the questions. In the hard-copy memo response shown in Figure 5.3, information describing dates, speakers, and topics was listed in columns with headings. Although listing format requires more space than paragraph format, listing vastly improves readability and comprehension. In providing additional data, use familiar words, short sentences, short paragraphs, and active-voice verbs. When alternatives exist, make them clear. Consider using graphic highlighting techniques, as shown in Figure 5.3, for both the speakers’ schedules and the three program choices offered further along in the message. Imagine how much more effort would be required to read and understand the memo without the speaker list or the bulleted choices. If further action is required, be specific in spelling it out. What may be crystal clear to you (because you have been thinking about the problem) is not always immediately apparent to a reader with limited time and interest.

SUMMING UP AND LOOKING FORWARD E-mail messages and memorandums serve as vital channels of information for business communicators today. They use a standardized format to request and deliver information. Because e-mail is increasingly a preferred channel choice, this chapter presented many techniques for sending and receiving safe and effective e-mail

messages. You learned to apply the direct strategy in writing messages that inform, request, and respond. You also learned to use bullets, numbers, and parallel form for listing information so that your messages have high “skim value.” In the next chapter you will extend the direct strategy to writing direct letters and goodwill messages.

CRITICAL THINKING 1. How can the writer of a business memo or an e-mail message develop a conversational tone and still be professional? Why do e-mail writers sometimes forget to be professional? 2. What factors help you decide whether to write a memo, send an e-mail, make a telephone call, leave a voice mail message, or deliver a message in person? 3. Why are lawyers and technology experts warning companies to store, organize, and manage computer data, including e-mail and instant messages, with sharper diligence?

4. Discuss the ramifications of the following statement: Once a memo or any other document leaves your hands, you have essentially published it. 5. Ethical Issue: Should managers have the right to monitor the e-mail messages and instant messages of employees? Why or why not? What if employees are warned that e-mail could be monitored? If a company sets up an e-mail policy, should only inhouse transmissions be monitored? Only outside transmissions?

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CHAPTER REVIEW 6. List five questions you should ask yourself before writing an e-mail or memo.

7. What four parts are standard in most e-mail message and memos?

8. What techniques can writers use to improve the readability and comprehension in the body of e-mails and memos?

9. How are the structure and formatting of e-mail messages and memos similar and different?

10. Suggest at least ten pointers that you could give to a first-time e-mail user.

11. Name at least five rules of e-mail etiquette that show respect for others.

12. What are three possibilities in handling the salutation for an e-mail message?

13. What is the writing plan for an information or procedure message? Subject line: Opening: Body: Closing:

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14. What is the writing plan for a request message? Subject line: Opening: Body: Closing:

15. What is the writing plan for a reply message? Subject line: Opening: Body: Closing:

WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES Message Openers Compare the following sets of message openers. Circle the opener that illustrates a direct opening. Be prepared to discuss the weaknesses and strengths of each. 16. A memo announcing a new procedure: a. It has come to our attention that increasing numbers of staff members are using instant messaging (IM) in sending business messages. We realize that IM often saves time and gets you fast responses, and we are prepared to continue to allow its use, but we have developed some specific procedures that we want you to use to make sure it is safe as well as efficient. b. The following new procedures for using instant messaging (IM) will enable staff members to continue to use it safely and efficiently. 17. An e-mail message inquiring about software: a. We are interested in your voice-recognition software that we understand allows you to dictate and copy text without touching a keyboard. We are interested in answers to a number of questions, such as the cost for a single-user license and perhaps the availability of a free trial version. b. Please answer the following questions about your voice-recognition software. 18. An e-mail message announcing a training program: a. If you would like to join our in-house leadership training program, please attend an orientation meeting June 1. b. For some time we have been investigating the possibility of conducting in-house leadership training courses for interested staff members. 19. An e-mail message introducing a new manager: a. This is a message to bring you good news. You will be pleased to learn that our long wait is over. After going without a chief for many weeks, we are finally able to welcome our new manager, Kristi Bostock, who comes to us from our Atlanta office. Please welcome her. b. Please welcome our new manager, Kristi Bostock, who comes from our Atlanta office.

Opening Paragraphs The following opening paragraphs are wordy and indirect. After reading each paragraph, identify the main idea. Then, write an opening sentence that illustrates a more direct opening. 20. Our management team would like to find additional ways to improve employee motivation through recognition and reward programs. The current programs do not seem to generate an appropriate level of motivation. Because we need input from employees, we will be conducting an extensive study of all employees. But we will begin with focus groups of selected employees, and you have been selected to be part of the first focus group.

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21. Customer service is an integral part of our business. That’s why I was impressed when three of you came to me to ask if you might attend a seminar called “Customer Satisfaction Strategies.” I understand the seminar will take place March 15 and will require you to miss a full day of work. This memo is to inform the staff that Ellen Tucker, Ryan Ho, and Sal Avila will be gone March 15 to attend the conference on customer service and satisfaction.

Bulleted and Numbered Lists 22. Use the following information to compose a list that includes an introductory statement and a numbered vertical list. In purchasing software, be sure to follow these steps. You should tie payments to the achievement of milestones. You should also include a detailed description of all required testing. Finally, you should spell out what type of ongoing support the contract covers.

23. Use the following wordy instructions to compose a concise bulleted vertical list with an introductory statement: To write information for a Web site, there are three important tips to follow. For one thing, you should make the formatting as simple as possible. Another thing you must do is ensure the use of strong visual prompts. Last but not least, you should limit directions that are not needed.

24. Revise the following wordy paragraph into an introduction with a list. Should you use bullets or numbers? In writing to customers granting approval for loans, you should follow four steps that include announcing that loan approval has been granted. You should then specify the terms and limits. Next, you should remind the reader of the importance of making payments that are timely. Finally, a phone number should be provided for assistance.

25. Revise the following wordy information into a concise bulleted list with category headings: Our attorney made a recommendation that we consider several things to avoid litigation in regard to sexual harassment. The first thing he suggested was that we take steps regarding the establishment of an unequivocal written policy prohibiting sexual harassment within our organization. The second thing we should do is make sure training sessions are held for supervisors regarding a proper work environment. Finally, some kind of official procedure for employees to lodge complaints is necessary. This procedure should include investigation of complaints.

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WRITING COACH

STEP-BY-STEP DEMONSTRATION

Request E-Mail

To help you master the entire writing process, the Writing Coach takes you through the problem, the writing plan, the first draft, and the final product.

Problem Like many office workers who sit in front of a computer all day, Trevor Williams noticed that he was spending more and more time on e-mail. As vice president of marketing at a big Midwest company, however, he was in a position to do something about it. He calls you, his assistant, into his office and says, “Some days I receive 300 or 400 messages. All this e-mail is just taking too much time! People can’t get any work done around here. So I want to come up with a plan for reducing our reliance on e-mail. I think we should discuss this problem at the next supervisory committee meeting on May 10. Before the meeting, though, we need information from our people. I’d like to know how much time our employees are actually spending on e-mail. We will want to know about how many messages they are sending and receiving each day. Maybe we ought to have one day a week—let’s say, Friday—that is totally e-mail free. Would that work?” Mr. Williams continues to brainstorm with you. You think you should send messages to three key supervisors asking them questions that might help solve the problem. Despite Mr. Williams’ distaste for e-mail, he asks you to draft an e-mail message for him to send.

before revision Supervisors: Delete wordy, indirect opening

As vice president, I am troubled by a big problem. I am writing this note to ask for your help and advice to address an urgent problem the problem of excessive e-mail. If you will do me the favor of answering the questions below. I’m sure your ideas will assist us in the development of a plan that should benefit your employees, yourself, and our organization .will be improved. Your responses in writing to these questions (preferably by May 5) will help me prepare for our supervisory committee meeting on May 10.

Use verb (expected) instead of noun phrase

Move action items to closing

Everyone had the expectation that e-mail would be a great big productivity tool. I’m afraid that its use is becoming extremely excessive. For our organization it is actually cutting into work time. Did you know that one study found that the average office worker is spending 2 hours a day on e-mail?. In our organization we may be spending

Reduce wordiness with more precise word

even more then this. Its exceedingly difficult to get any work done because of writing and answering an extraordinary number of e-mails coming in each and every day. Excessive e-mail is sapping the organization’s strength and productivity. I would like to have your answers to the following questions before the above referenced dates to help us focus on the problem:

Use numbers for better reference and to make all items parallel

•

Can you give a ballpark figure for how many e-mail messages you receive and

•

Think about how many hours the employees in your department spend on e-mail

•

Do you have any ideas about how we can make a reduction in the volume of e-mail

Delete unnecessary, repeated information

answer on a personal basis each day?

each day. Approximately how many hours would you estimate?

messages being sent and received within our own organization? • Put most startling question last

Do you think that e-mail is being used by our employees in an excessive manner?

I’m wondering what you think about an e-mail-free day once a week. How about Friday? I appreciate your suggestions and advice in developing a solution to the problem of controlling e-mail and making an improvement in productivity.

Insert end date, reason, and thanks

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Writing Plan SUBJECT LINE

BODY

Summarize the request and note the action desired. Write the subject line after you finish the body of the message.

Provide background, justification, and details. If asking questions, list them in parallel form. Explain concisely the problem of excessive use of e-mail. For high “skim value,” organize the body into a list of numbered questions. Write them in parallel form, and arrange them so that the most difficult or most startling questions are last.

OPENING Begin with the request or a brief statement introducing it. The purpose of this messages is to gather information to solve the problem of excessive reliance on e-mail. The primary audience will be key supervisors who are busy but probably willing to help solve a problem. A secondary audience might be their employees. Strive to develop a “you” view. How can this request benefit the receivers?

CLOSING Request action by a specific date. Provide a reason. Express appreciation. Explain that you want responses to your questions by May 5 so that you can prepare for a supervisory committee meeting May 10.

after revision To From Subject Cc Attached

: , , : Trevor Williams : Answering Questions to Address E-Mail Problem : :

Julie, Craig, and Catherine: Please help us address the problem of excessive e-mail by answering the questions below. Your ideas will assist us develop a plan that should benefit your employees, yourself, and our organization. Everyone expected e-mail to be a huge productivity tool. However, its excessive use cuts into work time. One study found that the average office worker spends two hours a day on e-mail. In our organization we may be spending even more than this. It’s difficult to get any work done because of countless e-mails every day. Your responses to the following questions will help us focus on the problem: 1. About how many e-mail messages do you receive and answer personally each day? 2. About how many hours are your employees spending on e-mail each day? 3. How could we reduce the volume of e-mail within our own organization? 4. Do you think that e-mail is being used excessively by our employees? 5. What do you think of a weekly e-mail-free day, such as Friday? I look forward to your advice in controlling e-mail and improving productivity. Your written responses to these questions by May 5 will help me prepare for our supervisory committee meeting May 10, when we will discuss this problem. Many thanks! Trevor Williams Vice President, Marketing

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WRITING IMPROVEMENT CASES

5.1 Request E-Mail: Planning a Charity Golf Event The following e-mail from Brad O’Bannon requests information about planning a charity golf tournament. His first draft must be revised. Your Task. Analyze Brad’s message. It suffers from many writing faults that you have studied. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise it. Could this message benefit from category headings? Date:

Current

To:

Gail Lobanoff

From:

Brad O’Bannon

Subject:

Need Help!

The Family Outreach Center badly needs funds. We’ve tried other things, but now we want to try a charity golf event. In view of the fact that you have expertise in this area and since you volunteered to offer your assistance, I am writing this e-mail to pick your brain, so to speak, in regard to questions that have to do with five basic fundamentals in the process of preparation. I’m going to need your answers these areas before February 15. Is that possible? Maybe you would rather talk to me. Should I contact you? In regard to the budget, I have no idea how to estimate costs. For example, what about administrative costs. How about marketing? And there are salaries, cell-phone rentals, copiers, and a lot of other things. I also need help in choosing a golf course. Should it be a public course? Or a private course? Resort? One big area that I worry about is sponsors. Should I go after one big sponsor? But let’s say I get Pepsi to be a sponsor. Then do I have to ban Coke totally from the scene? Another big headache is scoring. I’ll bet you can make some suggestions for tabulating the golf results. And posting them. By the way, did you see that Tiger Woods is back in the winner’s circle? I’ve noticed that other golf tournaments have extra events, such as a pairing party to introduce partners. Many also have an awards dinner to award prizes. Should I be planning extra events? Brad O’Bannon Philanthropy and Gifts Coordinator Family Outreach Center of Miami 1.

List at least five weaknesses in the preceding request e-mail.

Outline a writing plan for this message. Subject line: Opening: Body: Closing:

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5.2 Information E-Mail: Workplace Issues In the following e-mail message, Paul Rouse intends to inform his boss, Ceresa Rothery, about a conference he attended on the topic of workplace violence. This first draft of his information message is poorly written. Your Task. Analyze Paul’s first draft. It suffers from wordiness, poor organization, and other faults. List its weaknesses and outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise it. Date:

Current

To:

Ceresa Rothery

From:

Paul Rouse

Subject:

REPORT

Cc: Ceresa: I went to the Workplace Issues conference on November 3, as you suggested. The topic was how to prevent workplace violence, and I found it extremely fascinating. Although we have been fortunate to avoid serious incidents at our company, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Because of the fact that I was the representative from our company and you asked for a report, here it is. Susan Sloan was the presenter, and she made suggestions in three categories, which I will make a summary of here. Ms. Sloan cautioned organizations to prescreen job applicants. As a matter of fact, wise companies do not offer employment until after a candidate’s background has been checked. Just the mention of a background check is sufficient and motivational enough to make some candidates head for the hills. These candidates, of course, are the ones with something to hide. A second suggestion was that companies should become involved in the preparation of a good employee handbook that outlines what employees should do when they are suspicious of potential workplace violence. This handbook should include a way for informers to be anonymous. A third recommendation had to do with recognizing red-flag behavior. This involves having companies train managers in the recognition of signs of potential workplace violence. What are some of the red flags? One sign is an increasing number of arguments (most of them petty) with coworkers. Another sign is extreme changes in behavior or statements that indicate the existence of depression over family or financial problems. Another sign is bullying or harassing behavior. Bringing a firearm to work or displaying an extreme fascination with firearms is another sign. It seems to me that the best recommendation is prescreening job candidates. This is because it is most feasible. If you want me to do more research on prescreening techniques, do not hesitate to let me know. Let me know before the date of November 18 if you want me to make a report at our management meeting. Scheduled for December 3. Did you know, by the way, that the next Workplace Issues conference is in January, and the topic is employee e-mail monitoring? That should be juicy! Paul 1.

List at least five weaknesses in the preceding information e-mail.

Outline a writing plan for this memo: Subject line: Opening: Body: Closing:

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5.3 Request Memo: Choosing Your Holiday The following memo requests a response from staff members. However, it is so poorly written that they may not know what to do. Your Task. Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise it. Date:

Current

To:

All Employees

From:

Kimberly Jackson, Human Resources

Subject:

Changing Holiday Plan

As you all know, in the past we’ve offered all employees 11 holidays (starting with New Year’s Day in January and proceeding through Christmas Day the following December). Other companies offer similar holiday schedules. In addition, we’ve given all employees one floating holiday. As you may remember, we determined that day by a companywide vote. As a result, all employees had the same day off. Now, however, we’re giving consideration to a new plan that we feel would be better. This new plan involves a floating holiday that each individual employee may decide for theirself. We’ve given it considerable thought and decided that such a plan could definitely work. We would allow each employee to choose a day that they want. Of course, we would have to issue certain restrictions. Selections would have to be subject to our staffing needs within individual departments. For example, if everyone wanted the same day, we could not allow everyone to take it. In that case, we would allow the employee with the most seniority to have the day off. Before we institute the new plan, though, we wanted to see what employees thought about this. Is it better to continue our current companywide uniform floating holiday? Or should we try an individual floating holiday? Please let us know what you think as soon as possible. 1.

List at least five faults in this message.

Outline a general writing plan for this message. Subject line: Opening: Body: Closing:

ACTIVITIES AND CASES CRITICAL THINKING

E-MAIL

5.4 Information E-Mail or Memo: What I Do on the Job Some employees have remarked to the boss that they are working more than other employees. Your boss has decided to study the matter by asking all employees to describe exactly what they are doing. If some jobs are found to be overly demanding, your boss may redistribute job tasks or hire additional employees. Your Task. Write a well-organized memo describing your duties, the time you spend on each task, and the skills needed for what you do. Provide enough details to make a clear record of your job. Use actual names and describe actual tasks. Describe a current or previous job. If you have not worked, report to the head of an organization to which you belong. Describe the duties of an officer or of a committee. Your boss or organization head appreciates brevity. Keep your memo under one page.

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5.5 Information E-Mail or Memo: Party Time! Staff members in your office were disappointed that no holiday party was given last year. They don’t care what kind of party it is, but they do want some kind of celebration this year. Your Task. You have been asked to draft a memo to the office staff about a December holiday party. Decide what kind of party you would like. Include information about where the party will be held, when it is, what the cost will be, a description of the food to be served, whether guests are allowed, and whom to make reservations with. E-MAIL

5.6 Information/Procedure E-Mail or Memo: Parking Guidelines With a Smile As Adelle Justice, director of Human Resources, you must remind both day-shift and swing-shift employees of the company’s parking guidelines. Day-shift employees must park in Lots A and B in their assigned spaces. If they have not registered their cars and received their white stickers, the cars will be ticketed. Day-shift employees are forbidden to park at the curb. Swing-shift employees may park at the curb before 3:30 p.m. Moreover, after 3:30 p.m., swing-shift employees may park in any empty space—except those marked Tandem, Handicapped, Vanpool, Carpool, or Management. Day-shift employees may loan their spaces to other employees if they know they will not be using them. One serious problem is lack of registration (as evidenced by white stickers). Registration is done by Employee Relations. Any car without a sticker will be ticketed. To encourage registration, Employee Relations will be in the cafeteria May 12 and 13 from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. and from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. to take applications and issue white parking stickers. Your Task. Write an information/procedure e-mail or memo to employees that reviews the parking guidelines and encourages them to get their cars registered. Use listing techniques, and strive for a tone that fosters a sense of cooperation rather than resentment. E-MAIL

WEB

5.7 Information/Procedure E-Mail or Memo: Countdown to Performance Appraisal Deadline It’s time to remind all supervisory personnel that they must complete employee performance appraisals by April 15. Your boss, James Robinson, director, Human Resources, asks you to draft a procedure memo or e-mail announcing the deadline. In talking with Jim, you learn that he wants you to summarize some of the main steps in writing these appraisals. Jim says that the appraisals are really important this year because of changes in work and jobs. Many offices are installing new technologies, and some offices are undergoing reorganization. It’s been a hectic year. Jim also mentions that some supervisors will want to attend a training workshop on February 20 where they can update their skills. Supervisors who want to reserve a space at the training workshop should contact Lynn Jeffers at [emailprotected]. When you ask him what procedures you should include in the memo, he tells you to consult the employee handbook and pick out the most important steps. In the handbook you find suggestions that say each employee should have a performance plan with three or four main objectives. In the appraisal the supervisor should mention three strengths the employee has, as well as three areas for improvement. One interesting comment in the handbook indicated that improvements should focus on skills, such as time management, rather than on things like being late frequently. Supervisors are supposed to use a scale of 1 to 5 to assess employees: 1 = consistently exceeds requirements; 5 = does not meet requirements at all. You think to yourself that this scale is screwy; it’s certainly not like grades in school. But you can’t change the scale. Finally, supervisors should meet with employees to discuss the appraisal. The completed appraisal should be sent to your office. Your Task. Draft a memo or e-mail from James Robinson, Director, Human Resources, to all department heads, managers, and supervisors. Announce the April 15 deadline for performance appraisals. List five or six steps to be taken by supervisors in completing performance appraisals. If you need more information about writing performance appraisals, search that term on the Web. You’ll find many sites with helpful advice.

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TEAM

5.8 Information E-Mail or Memo: Planning for Important Milestone Your company hired a writing consultant to help employees improve their communication skills. Your Task. The following poorly written message was assigned as an exercise to train your team in recognizing good and bad writing. In small groups discuss its weaknesses and then compose, either individually or as a team, an improved version. Date:

Current

To:

All Employees

From:

Margaret Tilly, Coordinator, Employee Resources

Subject:

An Important Milestone in Your Life

We know that retirement is an important milestone in anyone’s life, and we are aware that many employees do not have sufficient information that relates to the prospect of their retirement. Many employees who are approaching retirement age have come to this office wanting to talk about health, financial needs, family responsibilities, and income from outside sources and how these all relate to their retirement. It would be much easier for us to answer all these questions at once, and that is what we will try to do. We would like to answer your questions at a series of retirement planning sessions in the company cafeteria. The first meeting is November 17. We will start at 4 p.m., which means that the company is giving you one hour of released time to attend this important session. We will meet from 4 to 6 p.m. when we will stop for dinner. We will begin again at 7 p.m. and finish at 8 p.m. We have arranged for three speakers. They are: our company benefits supervisor, a financial planner, and a psychologist who treats retirees who have mental problems. The three sessions are planned for: November 17, November 30, and December 7. CRITICAL THINKING

E-MAIL

INFOTRAC

TEAM

WEB

5.9 Procedure E-Mail or Memo: Should Sales Reps Use Company Cell Phones While Driving? You saw a recent article that sent chills straight through you. A stockbroker for Smith Barney was making cold calls on his cell phone while driving. His car hit and killed a motorcyclist. The brokerage firm was sued and accused of contributing to an accident by encouraging employees to use cell phones while driving. To avoid the risk of paying huge damages awarded by an emotional jury, the brokerage firm offered the victim’s family a $500,000 settlement. As operations manager of D’anza, a hair care and skin products company, you begin to worry. You know that your company has already provided its 75 sales representatives with cell phones to help them keep in touch with home base while they are in the field. Your Task. In teams discuss the problem. Should sales reps use their phones while driving? Is this practice allowed in your state? What happens when sales reps work in other states? Consider the possibility of ordering inexpensive hands-free devices for all sales reps. Use the Web and InfoTrac to research cell phone use, laws, and safety tips. As a team, decide on a company plan. Provide hands-free devices? Forbid calls while driving? Assume you are free to make any decision. Individually or as a team, write an e-mail or memo to sales reps explaining your decision and suggesting safety ideas. How will your decision benefit the receivers? E-MAIL

5.10 Request E-Mail: Learning About Team Retreats Tiptoeing gingerly across a wobbling jerrybuilt bridge of slender planks stretched between two boxes, the chief financial officer of Wells Fargo completed his task. Cheers greeted Howard Atkins as he reached the other side with a final lunge. His team of senior financial executives applauded their leader who made it across the bridge without falling off. Atkins had pulled together a group of 73 financial executives, risk managers, accountants, and group presidents for team-building exercises on the sun-drenched lawns of a luxury hotel in Sonoma, California. The

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three-day retreat also provided conventional business meetings with reports and presentations. Atkins described the attendees as “very high-powered, very capable, very technically skilled, very competitive people.” Yet, he was striving for an even higher level of performance. “They are very individualistic in their approach to their work,” he said. “What I have been trying to do is get them to see the power of acting more like a team.” And by the end of the day, he was clearly pleased with what he saw. He credits double-digit gains in Wells Fargo income and earnings in large part to the bank’s people programs. “Success is more often than not a function of execution, and execution is really about people, so we invest pretty heavily in our people.” For his company’s team-building exercises, Atkins chose low-stress challenges such as balancing on planks, building tents blindfolded, and stepping through complex webs of ropes. But other companies use whitewater rafting, rock walls, treetop rope bridges, and even fire pits as metaphors for the business world. Your boss at BancFirst saw the news about Wells Fargo and is intrigued. He is understandably dubious about the value of team building that could result from a retreat. Yet, he is interested because he believes that the widespread use of electronic technology is reducing personal contact. He asks you to have the Human Resources Department investigate.11 Your Task. As assistant to the president, draft an e-mail to Charlotte Evers, Manager, Human Resources. Ask her to investigate the possibility of a retreat for BancFirst. Your message should include many questions for her to answer. Include an end date and a reason. CRITICAL THINKING

INFOTRAC

E-MAIL

TEAM

5.11 Reply Memo or E-Mail: Office Romances Off Limits? Where can you find the hottest singles scene today? Some would say in your workplace. Because people are working long hours and have little time for outside contacts, relationships often develop at work. Estimates suggest that one third to one half of all romances start at work. Your boss is concerned about possible problems resulting from relationships at work. What happens if a relationship between a superior and subordinate results in perceived favoritism? What happens if a relationship results in a nasty breakup? Your boss would like to simply ban all relationships among employees. But that’s not likely to work. He asks you, his assistant, to learn what guidelines could be established regarding office romances. Your Task. Using InfoTrac, read Timothy Bland’s “Romance in the Workplace: Good Thing or Bad?” (Article No. A66460590). From this article select four or five suggestions that you could make to your boss in regard to protecting an employer. Why is it necessary for a company to protect itself? Discuss your findings and reactions with your team. Individually or as a group, submit your findings and reactions in a well-organized, easy-to-read e-mail or memo to your boss (your instructor). You may list main points from the article, but use your own words to write the message. CRITICAL THINKING

E-MAIL

TEAM

5.12 Reply Memo or E-Mail: One Sick Day Too Many As director of Human Resources at a midsized insurance company, you received an inquiry from Suzette Chase, who is supervisor of Legal Support. It seems that one of Suzette’s veteran employees recently implemented a four-day workweek for herself. On the fifth morning, the employee calls in with some crisis or sickness that makes it impossible for her to get to work. Suzette asks for your advice in how to handle this situation. In the past you’ve told supervisors to keep a written record (a log) of each absence. This record should include the financial and productive impact of the absence. It should include a space where the employee can include her comments and signature. You’ve found that a written document always increases the significance of the event. You’ve also told supervisors that they must be objective and professional. It’s difficult, but they should not personalize the situation. Occasionally, of course, an absence is legitimate. Supervisors must know what is unavoidable and what is a lame excuse. In other words, they must know how to separate reasons from excuses. Another thing to consider is how the employee reacts when approached. Is her attitude sincere, or does she automatically become defensive? You also tell supervisors that “if they talk the talk, they must walk the walk.” In other words, they must follow the same policies that are enforced. The best plan, of course, is to clearly define what is and is not acceptable attendance policy and make sure every new-hire is informed.

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Your Task. In teams discuss what advice to give to Suzette Chase regarding her habitually absent worker. Why is a log important? What other suggestions can you make? How should you conclude this message? Individually or in teams, write a well-organized reply memo or e-mail message to Suzette Chase, Supervisor, Legal Support. Remember that bulleted items improve readability. INFOTRAC

E-MAIL

TEAM

5.13 Reply E-Mail: Managing the Mountains of E-Mail E-mail has become an essential part of our business lives. Yet workers throughout the country may be losing hours from each business day because of it. Some are distracted from work and waste valuable time on meaningless communications, says Dr. Mark Langemo, records management author and expert. In an article titled “11 Practical Strategies for Managing E-Mail” (InfoTrac Article No. A111112220), Dr. Langemo tells how companies can manage e-mail more efficiently and reduce their legal vulnerability. The vice president of your company has been complaining that e-mail is out of control. He asks you to be on the lookout for any ideas he should present to management for dealing with the problem. Your Task: Using InfoTrac, study the article. You believe that some of the suggestions would certainly work for your company. You decide to discuss them with your team. Decide which of the suggestions are most appropriate, and organize them into a set of procedures. What should be done first? Some of the suggestions could be combined with others. Once your team agrees on a set of procedures, write an e-mail to Vice President Stanton Childress (or your instructor). In your own words, list the most significant strategies and explain each briefly. E-MAIL

TEAM

WEB

5.14 Reply E-Mail or Memo: Cross-Cultural Dilemma The Air Force’s highest-ranking female fighter pilot, Lt. Col. Martha McSally, was unhappy about being required to wear neck-to-toe robes in Saudi Arabia when she’s off base. She filed a federal lawsuit seeking to overturn the policy that requires female servicewomen to wear such conservative clothing even when they are off base. After seeing an article about this in the newspaper, your boss was concerned about sending female engineers to Saudi Arabia. Your company has been asked to submit a proposal to develop telecommunications within that country, and some of the company’s best staff members are female. If your company wins the contract, it will undoubtedly need women to be in Saudi Arabia to complete the project. Because your boss knows little about the country, he asks you, his assistant, to do some research to find out what is appropriate business dress. Your Task. Visit two or three Web sites and learn about dress expectations in Saudi Arabia. Is Western-style clothing acceptable for men? For women? Are there any clothing taboos? Should guest workers be expected to dress like natives? In teams discuss your findings. Individually or collectively, prepare a memo or e-mail addressed to J. E. Rivers, your boss. Summarize your most significant findings. E-MAIL

5.15 Reply Memo or E-Mail: Scheduling Appointments to Interview a New Project Manager You’re frustrated! Your boss, Paul Rosenberg, has scheduled three appointments to interview applicants for the position of project manager. All of these appointments are for Thursday, May 5. However, he now must travel to Atlanta on that weekend. He asks you to reschedule all the appointments for one week later. He also wants a brief summary of the background of each candidate. Despite your frustration, you call each person and are lucky to arrange these times. Carol Chastain, who has been a project manager for nine years with Piedmont Corporation, agrees to come at 10:30 a.m. Richard Emanuel, who is a systems analyst and a consultant to many companies, will come at 11:30. Lara Lee, who has an M.A. degree and six years of experience as senior project coordinator at High Point Industries, will come at 9:30 a.m. You’re wondering whether Mr. Rosenberg forgot to include Hilary Iwu, operations personnel officer, in these interviews. Ms. Iwu usually is part of the selection process. Your Task. Write an e-mail or memo to Mr. Rosenberg including all the vital information he needs. CRITICAL THINKING

E-MAIL

INFOTRAC

TEAM

5.16 Reply E-Mail: Reaching Consensus Regarding Casual-Dress Policy Casual dress in professional offices has been coming under attack. Your boss, Kathy Lewis-Adler, received the e-mail shown in Figure 5.5. She thinks it would be a good assignment for her group of management trainees to help her respond to that message. She asks your team to research answers to the first five

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questions in CEO Thomas Marshall’s message. She doesn’t expect you to answer the final question, but any information you can supply to the first questions would help her shape a response. Marshall & Associates is a public CPA firm with a staff of 120 CPAs, bookkeepers, managers, and support personnel. Located in downtown Pittsburgh, the plush offices in One Oxford Center overlook the Allegheny River and the North Shore. The firm performs general accounting and audit services as well as tax planning and preparation. Accountants visit clients in the field and also entertain them in the downtown office. Your Task. Decide whether the entire team will research each question in Figure 5.5 or whether team members will be assigned certain questions. Collect information, discuss it, and reach consensus on what you will report to Ms. Lewis-Adler. Write a concise, one-page response from your team. Your goal is to inform, not persuade. Remember that you represent management, not students or employees. INFOTRAC

TEAM

WEB

5.17 Reply Memo: Squawking About a Company E-Mail Policy At first, he couldn’t figure it out. The IS (Information Systems) network manager at Lionel Trains in Chesterfield, Michigan, fretted that his company would have to upgrade its Internet connection because operations were noticeably slower than in the past. Upon checking, however, he discovered that extensive recreational Web surfing among employees was the real reason for the slowdown. Since the company needed a good policy regulating the use of e-mail and the Internet, he assigned your team the task of investigating existing policies. Your team leader, Rick Rodriquez, who has quite a sense of humor, said, “Adopting an Internet policy is a lot like hosting a convention of pigeons. Both will result in a lot of squawking, ruffled feathers, and someone getting dumped on.” Right! No one is going to like having e-mail and Internet use restricted. It is, indeed, a dirty job, but someone has to do it. Your Task. Working individually, locate examples or models of company e-mail and Internet policies. Use InfoTrac and the Web trying variations of the search term “Company E-Mail Policy.” Print any helpful material. Then meet as a group and select six to eight major topics that you think should be covered in a company policy. Your investigation will act as a starting point in the long process of developing a policy that provides safeguards but is not overly restrictive. You are not expected to write the policy at this time. But you could attach copies of anything interesting. Your boss would especially like to know where he could see or purchase model company policies. Send a reply memo to Rick Rodriquez, your team leader.

VIDEO RESOURCES This important chapter offers two learning videos. Video Library 1, Building Workplace Communication Skills: Smart E-Mail Messages and Memos Advance Your Career. Watch this chapter-specific video for a demonstration of how to use e-mail skillfully and safely. You’ll better understand the writing process in relation to composing messages. You’ll also see tips for writing messages that advance your career instead of sinking it. Video Library 2, Bridging the Gap: Innovation, Learning, and Communication: A Study of Yahoo. This video familiarizes you with managers and inside operating strategies at the Internet company Yahoo. After watching the film, assume the role of assistant to John Briggs, senior producer, who appeared in the video. John has just received a letter asking for permission from another film company to use Yahoo offices and personnel in an educational video, similar to the one you just saw.

John wants you to draft a message for him to send to the operations manager, Ceci Lang, asking for permission for VX Studios to film. VX says it needs about 15 hours of filming time and would like to interview four or five managers as well as founders David Filo and Jerry Yang. VX would need to set up its mobile studio van in the parking lot and would need permission to use advertising film clips. Although VX hopes to film in May, it is flexible about the date. John Briggs reminds you that Yahoo has participated in a number of films in the past two years, and some managers are complaining that they can’t get their work done. Your Task. After watching the video, write a memo or e-mail request message to Ceci Lang, operations manager, asking her to allow VX Studios to film at Yahoo. Your message should probably emphasize the value of these projects in enhancing Yahoo’s image among future users. Supply any other details you think are necessary to create a convincing request memo that will win authorization from Ceci Lang to schedule this filming.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHECKUP—5 Prepositions and Conjunctions Review Sections 1.18 and 1.19 in the Grammar Review section of the Grammar/ Mechanics Handbook. Then study each of the following statements. Write a or b to indicate the sentence in which the idea is expressed more effectively. Also record the number of the G/M principle illustrated. When you finish, compare your responses with those provided. If your answers differ, study carefully the principles shown in parentheses. b

(1.18a)

Example

a. When did you graduate high school? b. When did you graduate from high school?

1. a. Your iPod was more expensive than mine. b. Your iPod was more expensive then mine. 2. a. Don’t you hate when your inbox is filled with spam? b. Don’t you hate it when your inbox is filled with spam? 3. a. If the company called you, than it must be looking at your résumé. b. If the company called you, then it must be looking at your résumé. 4. a. Ethnocentrism is when you believe your culture is best. b. Ethnocentrism involves the belief that your culture is best. 5. a. Business messages should be clear, correct, and written with conciseness. b. Business messages should be clear, correct, and concise. 6. a. What type computer monitor do you prefer? b. What type of computer monitor do you prefer? 7. a. Do you know where the meeting is at? b. Do you know where the meeting is? 8. a. Did you send an application to the headquarters in Cincinnati or to the branch in St. Louis? b. Did you apply to the Cincinnati headquarters or the St. Louis branch? 9. a. That Hollywood actor appeared in movies, plays, and television. b. That Hollywood actor appeared in movies, in plays, and on television. 10. a. She had a great interest, as well as a profound respect for, historical homes. b. She had a great interest in, as well as a profound respect for, historical homes. 11. a. Volunteers should wear long pants, bring gloves, and sunscreen should be applied. b. Volunteers should wear long pants, bring gloves, and apply sunscreen. 12. a. His PowerPoint presentation was short like we hoped it would be. b. His PowerPoint presentation was short as we hoped it would be. 13. a. An ethics code is where a set of rules spells out appropriate behavior standards. b. An ethics code is a set of rules spelling out appropriate behavior standards. 14. a. Please keep the paper near the printer. b. Please keep the paper near to the printer. 15. a. A behavioral interview question is when the recruiter says, “Tell me about a time. . . .” b. A behavioral interview question is one in which the recruiter says, “Tell me about a time. . . .”

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHALLENGE—5 The following memo has faults in grammar, punctuation, spelling, capitalization, number form, repetition, wordiness, and other problems. Correct the errors with standard proofreading marks (see Appendix B) or revise the message online at Guffey Xtra!

DATE:

March 2, 200x

TO:

Department Heads, Managers, and Supervisors

FROM:

James Robbins, Director, Human Resources

SUBJECT: Submitting Appraisals of Performance by April 15th Please be informed that performance appraisals for all you’re employees’ are due, before April 15th. These appraisal are esspecially important and essential this year. Because of job changes, new technologys and because of office re-organization. To complete your performance appraisals in the most effective way, you should follow the procedures described in our employee handbook, let me briefly make a review of those procedures; 1 . Be sure each and every employee has a performance plan with 3 or 4 main objective. 2 . For each objective make an assessment of the employee on a scale of 5 (consistently excedes requirements) to 0 (does not meet requirements at all. 3 . You should identify 3 strengths that he brings to the job. 4 . Name 3 skills that he can improve. These should pertain to skills such as Time Management rather then to behaviors such as habitual lateness. 5 . The employee should be met with to discuss his appraisal. 6 . Finish the appraisal and send the completed appraisal to this office. We look upon appraisals like a tool for helping each worker assess his performance. And enhance his output. If you would like to discuss this farther, please do not hessitate to call me.

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ETHICS WHOSE COMPUTER IS IT ANYWAY? Many companies provide their employees with computers and Internet access. Should employees be able to use those computers for online shopping, personal messages, and personal work, as well as to listen to music and play games?

But It’s Harmless The Wall Street Journal reports that many office workers have discovered that it’s far easier to shop online than to race to malls and wait in line. To justify her Web shopping at work, one employee, a recent graduate, says, “Instead of standing at the water cooler gossiping, I shop online.” She went on to say, “I’m not sapping company resources by doing this.” Some online office shoppers say that what they’re doing is similar to making personal phone calls. So long as they don’t abuse the practice, they see no harm. Besides, shopping at the office is far faster than shopping from slow dial-up connections at home. Marketing director David Krane justifies his online shopping by explaining that his employer benefits because he is more productive when he takes minibreaks. “When I need a break, I just pull up a Web page and just browse,” he says. “Ten minutes later, I’m all refreshed, and I can go back to business-plan writing.”

Companies Cracking Down Employers, however, do not approve of the increasing use of company networks for personal online activities. A study of business organizations found that one in five companies has terminated an employee for e-mail infractions.12 UPS discovered an employee running a personal business from his office computer. Lockheed Martin fired an employee who disabled its entire company network for six hours because of an e-mail message heralding a holiday event that the worker sent to 60,000 employees. Employees who use company Internet connections to download large documents— especially MP3 music—gobble up a huge amount of bandwidth.13 Attorney Carole O’Blenes thinks that companies should begin cracking down. Online shopping generates junk e-mail that could cause the company’s server to crash. And what about productivity? “Whether they’re checking their stocks, shopping, or doing research for their upcoming trip to Spain,” she says, “that’s time diverted from doing business.”14

What’s Reasonable? Some companies try to enforce a “zero tolerance” policy, prohibiting any personal use of company equipment. Ameritech Corporation specifically tells employees that “computers and other company equipment are to be used only to provide service to customers and for other business purposes.” Companies such as Boeing, however, allow employees to use faxes, e-mail, and the Internet for personal reasons. But Boeing sets guidelines. Use has to be of “reasonable duration and frequency” and can’t cause “embarrassment to the company.”15 Strictly prohibited are chain letters, obscenity, and political and religious solicitation. Career Application. As an administrative assistant at Texas Technologies in Fort Worth, you have just received an e-mail from your boss asking for your opinion. It seems that many employees have been shopping online; one person actually received four personal packages from UPS in one morning. Although reluctant to do so, management is considering installing monitoring software that not only tracks Internet use but also blocks pornography, hate, and game sites.

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Your Task •

In teams or as a class, discuss the problem of workplace abuse of e-mail and the Internet. Should full personal use be allowed?

•

Are computers and their links to the Internet similar to other equipment such as telephones?

•

Should employees be allowed to access the Internet for personal use if they use their own private e-mail accounts?

•

Should management be allowed to monitor all Internet use?

•

Should employees be warned if e-mail is to be monitored?

•

What specific reasons can you give to support an Internet crackdown by management?

•

What specific reasons can you give to oppose a crackdown?

Decide whether you support or oppose the crackdown. Explain your views in an e-mail or a memo to your boss, Arthur W. Rose, [emailprotected].

DIRECT LETTERS AND GOODWILL MESSAGES A good business letter

OBJECTIVES

can get you a job inter-

• Write direct requests for information and action.

view, get you off the hook,

• Write direct claims.

or get you money. It’s to-

• Write direct responses to information requests.

tally asinine to blow your

• Write adjustment letters.

chances of getting what-

• Write letters of recommendation.

ever you want—with a

• Write goodwill messages.

business letter that turns people off instead of turning them on.1

”

Malcolm Forbes, Publisher and Founder, Forbes Magazine

WRITING EFFECTIVE DIRECT BUSINESS LETTERS

Letters communicate with outsiders and produce a formal record.

Publisher Malcolm Forbes understood the power of business letters. They can get you anything you want if you can write letters that turn people on instead of off. This chapter teaches you how to turn readers on with effective business letters and goodwill messages. Most of these messages travel outside an organization. Although e-mail is incredibly successful for both internal and external communication, many important messages still call for letters. Business letters are important when a permanent record is required, when formality is necessary, and when a message is sensitive and requires an organized, well-considered presentation. In this book we’ll divide messages into three groups: (1) direct letters communicating straightforward requests, replies, and goodwill messages in Chapter 6; (2) persuasive messages including sales pitches in Chapter 7; and (3) negative messages delivering refusals and bad news in Chapter 8. This chapter concentrates on direct letters through which we conduct everyday business and convey goodwill to outsiders. Such letters go to suppliers, government agencies, other businesses, and most important, customers. Customer letters receive

PHOTOS: © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS; © RYAN MCVAY/PHOTODISC/GETTY IMAGES; © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS

“

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a high priority because these messages encourage product feedback, project a favorable image of the company, and promote future business. You’ll learn to write direct requests for information and action, direct claims, direct responses to information requests, adjustment letters, letters of recommendation, and goodwill messages.

DIRECT REQUESTS FOR INFORMATION AND ACTION The content of a message and its anticipated effect on the reader determine the strategy you choose.

Like memos, letters are easiest to write when you have a plan to follow. The plan for letters, just as for memos, is fixed by the content of the message and its expected effect on the receiver. Many of your messages will request information or action. Although the specific subject of each inquiry may differ, the similarity of purpose in direct requests enables writers to use the following writing plan:

Writing Plan for Direct Requests for Information or Action

• •

Opening: Ask the most important question first or express a polite command. Body: Explain the request logically and courteously. Ask other questions if

•

necessary. Closing: Request a specific action with an end date, if appropriate, and show appreciation.

Opening Directly Readers find the openings and closings of letters most interesting and often read them first.

Begin an information request letter with the most important question or a summarizing statement.

The most emphatic positions in a letter are the openings and closings. Readers tend to look at them first. The writer, then, should capitalize on this tendency by putting the most significant statement first. The first sentence of a direct request is usually a question or a polite command. It should not be an explanation or justification, unless resistance to the request is expected. When the information requested is likely to be forthcoming, immediately tell the reader what you want. This saves the reader’s time and may ensure that the message is read. A busy executive skims the mail, quickly reading subject lines and first sentences only. That reader may grasp your request rapidly and act on it. A request that follows a lengthy explanation, on the other hand, may never be found. A letter inquiring about hotel accommodations, shown in Figure 6.1, begins immediately with the most important idea. Can the hotel provide meeting rooms and accommodations for 250 people? Instead of opening with an explanation of who the writer is or how the writer happens to be writing this letter, the letter begins more directly. If your request involves several questions, you could open with a polite request, such as Will you please answer the following questions about . . . . Note that although this request sounds like a question, it’s actually a disguised command. Because you expect an action rather than a reply, punctuate this polite command with a period instead of a question mark. If you use a period, however, some readers will think you have made a punctuation error. To avoid this punctuation problem, just omit Will you and start with Please answer, as the writer did in Figure 6.1.

Providing Details in the Body The body of a request letter may contain an explanation or a list of questions.

The body of a letter that requests information should provide necessary details. Remember that the quality of the information obtained from a request letter depends on the clarity of the inquiry. If you analyze your needs, organize your ideas, and frame your request logically, you are likely to receive a meaningful answer that doesn’t require a follow-up message. Whenever possible, itemize the information to improve readability. Notice that the questions in Figure 6.1 are bulleted, and they are parallel. That is, they use the same balanced construction.

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FIGURE 6.1

Direct Request Letter

Letterhead

Corresponding at Work

DCC

958 Alum Creek Drive Columbus, OH 43208 PHONE: (614) 455-3201 FAX: (614) 455-6621 WEB: www.dcc.com

Digital Communication Corporation

Dateline

October 14, 200x

Inside address

Mr. Dennis Purdy, Manager MGM Grand Hotel and Casino 3799 Las Vegas Boulevard South Las Vegas, NV 89109

Salutation

Dear Mr. Purdy: Can the MGM Grand Hotel provide meeting rooms and accommodations for about 250 DCC sales representatives from May 25 through May 29? Your hotel received strong recommendations because of its excellent resort and conference facilities. Our spring sales conference is scheduled for next May, and I am collecting information for our planning committee. Please answer these additional questions regarding the MGM Grand: • Does the hotel have a banquet room that can seat 250?

Body

• Do you have at least four smaller meeting rooms, each to accommodate a maximum of 75? • What kinds of computer facilities are available for electronic presentations? • What is the nearest airport, and do you provide transportation to and from it? Answers to these questions and any other information you can provide will help us decide which conference facility to choose. Your response before November 15 would be most appreciated since our planning committee meets November 19.

Complimentary close Author’s name and identification Reference initials

Sincerely yours,

Carol A. Allen Corporate Travel Department CAA:gdr

Tips for Formatting Letters • Start the date 2 inches from the top or 1 blank line below the letterhead. • For block style, begin all lines at the left margin. • Leave side margins of 1 to 11/2 inches depending on the length of the letter. • Single-space the body and double-space between paragraphs. • Bulleted items may appear flush left or indented.

Closing With Appreciation and an Action Request The ending of a request letter should tell the reader what you want done and when.

Use the final paragraph to ask for specific action, to set an end date if appropriate, and to express appreciation. As you learned in working with memos, a request for action is most effective when you supply an end date and reason for that date, as shown in Figure 6.1. It’s always appropriate to end a request letter with appreciation for the action taken, but try to do so in a fresh and efficient manner. For example, you could hook your thanks to the end date (Thanks for responding before November 15 when we must make a decision). You might connect your appreciation to a statement

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developing reader benefits (We are grateful for the information you will provide because it will help us improve our service to you). You could also describe briefly how the information will help you (I appreciate this information that will enable me to . . .). When possible make it easy for the reader to comply with your request (Note your answers on this sheet and return it in the postage-paid envelope or Here’s my e-mail address so that you can reach me quickly). Avoid cliché endings such as Thank you for your cooperation. Your appreciation will sound most sincere if you avoid mechanical, tired expressions.

DIRECT CLAIMS Direct claims are written by customers to identify and correct a wrong.

In business many things can go wrong—promised shipments are late, warranted goods fail, or service is disappointing. When you as a customer must write to identify or correct a wrong, the letter is called a claim. Straightforward claims are those to which you expect the receiver to agree readily. But even these claims often require a letter. While your first action may be a telephone call or a visit to submit your claim, you may not get the results you seek. Written claims are often taken more seriously, and they also establish a record of what happened. Claims that require persuasion are presented in Chapter 7. In this chapter you’ll learn to apply the following writing plan for a straightforward claim that uses a direct approach.

Writing Plan for Direct Claims

• •

Opening: Describe clearly the desired action. Body: Explain the nature of the claim, tell why the claim is justified, and provide

•

details regarding the action requested. Closing: End courteously with a goodwill statement that summarizes your action request.

Customers who call to complain may not reach the right person at the best time. To register a serious claim, always write a letter. A letter creates a paper trail and is taken more seriously than a telephone call. Use the direct strategy for straightforward claims.

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Opening With a Clear Statement Claim letters open with a clear problem statement or with an explanation of the action necessary to solve the problem.

When you, as a customer, have a legitimate claim, you can expect a positive response from a company. Smart businesses want to hear from their customers. They know that retaining a customer is far less costly than recruiting a new customer. That’s why you should open a claim letter with a clear statement of the problem or with the action you want the receiver to take. You might expect a replacement, a refund, a new order, credit to your account, correction of a billing error, free repairs, free inspection, or cancellation of an order. When the remedy is obvious, state it immediately (Please send us 25 Sanyo digital travel alarm clocks to replace the Sanyo analog travel alarm clocks sent in error with our order shipped January 4). When the remedy is less obvious, you might ask for a change in policy or procedure or simply for an explanation (Because three of our employees with confirmed reservations were refused rooms September 16 in your hotel, please clarify your policy regarding reservations and late arrivals).

Explaining and Justifying in the Body Providing details without getting angry improves the effectiveness of a claim letter.

In the body of a claim letter, explain the problem and justify your request. Provide the necessary details so that the difficulty can be corrected without further correspondence. Avoid becoming angry or trying to fix blame. Bear in mind that the person reading your letter is seldom responsible for the problem. Instead, state the facts logically, objectively, and unemotionally. Let the reader decide on the causes. Include copies of all pertinent documents such as invoices, sales slips, catalog descriptions, and repair records. (By the way, be sure to send copies and NOT your originals, which could be lost.) When service is involved, cite names of individuals spoken to and dates of calls. Assume that a company honestly wants to satisfy its customers— because most do. When an alternative remedy exists, spell it out (If you are unable to send 25 Sanyo digital travel alarm clocks immediately, please credit our account now and notify us when they become available).

Concluding With an Action Request Close a claim letter with a summary of the action requested and a courteous goodwill statement.

End a claim letter with a courteous statement that promotes goodwill and summarizes your action request. If appropriate, include an end date (We realize that mistakes in ordering and shipping sometimes occur. Because we’ve enjoyed your prompt service in the past, we hope that you will be able to send us the Sanyo digital travel alarm clocks by January 15). Finally, in making claims, act promptly. Delaying claims makes them appear less important. Delayed claims are also more difficult to verify. By taking the time to put your claim in writing, you indicate your seriousness. A written claim starts a record of the problem, should later action be necessary. Be sure to keep a copy of your letter. When Keith Krahnke received a statement showing a charge for a three-year service warranty that he did not purchase, he was furious. He called the store but failed to get satisfaction to his complaint. Then he decided to write. You can see the first draft of his direct claim letter in Figure 6.2. This draft gave him a chance to vent his anger, but it accomplished little else. The tone was belligerent, and it assumed that the company intentionally mischarged him. Furthermore, it failed to tell the reader how to remedy the problem. The revision, also shown in Figure 6.2, tempered the tone, described the problem objectively, and provided facts and figures. Most important, it specified exactly what Keith wanted to be done. Notice in Figure 6.2 that Keith used the personal business letter style, which is appropriate for you to use in writing personal messages. Your return address, but not your name, appears above the date. Keith used modified block style, in which the return address, date, and closing lines start at the center. Full block style, however, is also appropriate for personal business letters.

Chapter 6

Direct Letters and Goodwill Messages

FIGURE 6.2

Direct Claim Letter

139

before revision Dear Good Vibes: You call yourselves Good Vibes, but all I’m getting from your service are bad vibes! I’m furious that you have your salespeople slip in unwanted service warranties to boost your sales. When I bought my Panatronic DVR from Good Vibes, Inc., in August, I specifically told the salesperson that I did NOT want a three-year service warranty. But there it is on my Visa statement this month! You people have obviously billed me for a service I did not authorize. I refuse to pay this charge. How can you hope to stay in business with such fraudulent practices? I was expecting to return this month and look at MP3 players, but you can be sure I’ll find an honest dealer this time.

Sounds angry; jumps to conclusions

Forgets that mistakes happen

Fails to suggest solution

Sincerely,

after revision 1201 Lantana Court Lake Worth, FL 33461 September 3, 200x

Personal business letter style

Mr. Sam Lee, Customer Service Good Vibes, Inc. 2003 53rd Street West Palm Beach, FL 33407 Dear Mr. Lee: Please credit my Visa account to correct an erroneous charge of $299.

Explains objectively what went wrong Documents facts

On August 1 I purchased a Panatronic DVR from Good Vibes, Inc. Although the salesperson discussed a three-year extended warranty with me, I decided against purchasing that service for $299. However, when my credit card statement arrived this month, I noticed an extra $299 charge from Good Vibes, Inc. I suspect that this charge represents the warranty I declined. Enclosed is a copy of my sales invoice along with my Visa statement on which I circled the charge. Please authorize a credit immediately and send a copy of the transaction to me at the above address. I’m enjoying all the features of my Panatronic DVR and would like to be shopping at Good Vibes for an MP3 player shortly. Sincerely,

Keith Krahnke Enclosure

States simply and clearly what to do Doesn’t blame or accuse

Summarizes request and courteously suggests continued business once problem is resolved

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REPLIES TO INFORMATION REQUESTS

Before responding to requests, gather facts, check figures, and seek approval if necessary.

Often, your messages will respond favorably to requests for information or action. A customer wants information about a product. A supplier asks to arrange a meeting. Another business inquires about one of your procedures. But before responding to any inquiry, be sure to check your facts and figures carefully. Any letter written on company stationery is considered a legally binding contract. If a policy or procedure needs authorization, seek approval from a supervisor or executive before writing the letter. In complying with requests, you’ll want to apply the same direct pattern you used in making requests.

Writing Plan for Information Replies

• • •

Subject line: Identify previous correspondence and/or refer to the main idea. Opening: Deliver the most important information first. Body: Arrange information logically, explain and clarify it, provide additional in-

•

formation if appropriate, and build goodwill. Closing: End pleasantly.

Summarizing in the Subject Line Use the subject line to identify previous correspondence and the main idea.

An information response letter might contain a subject line, which helps the reader recognize the topic immediately. Knowledgeable business communicators use a subject line to refer to earlier correspondence or to summarize the main idea. Notice in Figure 6.3 that the subject line identifies the subject completely (Your July 12 Inquiry About WorkZone Software). A subject line helps the reader recognize the topic immediately.

Opening Directly In the first sentence of an information response, deliver the information the reader wants. Avoid wordy, drawn-out openings (I have before me your letter of July 12, in which you request information about . . .). More forceful and more efficient is an opener that answers the inquiry (Here is the information you wanted about . . .). When agreeing to a request for action, announce the good news promptly (Yes, I will be happy to speak to your business communication class on the topic of . . .).

Arranging Information Logically A good way to answer questions is to number or bullet each one.

When answering a group of questions or providing considerable data, arrange the information logically and make it readable by using lists, tables, headings, boldface, italics, or other graphic devices. When customers or prospective customers inquire about products or services, your response should do more than merely supply answers. You’ll also want to promote your organization and products. Be sure to present the promotional material with attention to the “you” view and to reader benefits (You can use our standardized tests to free you from time-consuming employment screening). You’ll learn more about special techniques for developing sales and persuasive messages in Chapter 7.

Closing Pleasantly To avoid abruptness, include a pleasant closing remark that shows your willingness to help the reader. Provide extra information if appropriate. Tailor your remarks to fit this letter and this reader. Refer to the information provided or to its use (The enclosed list summarizes our recommendations. We wish you all the best in redesigning your Web site). Since everyone appreciates being recognized as an individual, avoid form-letter closings such as If we may be of further assistance, . . . .

Chapter 6

Direct Letters and Goodwill Messages

FIGURE 6.3

Direct Reply Letter

141

SONOMA SOFTWARE, INC. 520 Sonoma Parkway Petaluma, CA 94539 (707) 784-2219 www.sonomasoft.com

July 15, 200x Mr. Jeffrey M. White White-Rather Enterprises 1349 Century Boulevard Wichita Falls, TX 76308 Dear Mr. White: Puts most important information first

Lists answers to sender’s questions in order asked

Subject: Your July 12 Inquiry About WorkZone Software Yes, we do offer personnel record-keeping software specially designed for small businesses like yours. Here are answers to your three questions about this software: 1. Our WorkZone software provides standard employee forms so that you are always in compliance with current government regulations. 2. You receive an interviewer’s guide for structured employee interviews, as well as a scripted format for checking references by telephone.

Chooses modified block style with date and closing lines started at the center

Identifies previous correspondence and subject

Emphasizes “you” view

3. Yes, you can update your employees’ records easily without the need for additional software, hardware, or training.

Helps reader find information by citing pages

Our WorkZone software was specially designed to provide you with expert forms for interviewing, verifying references, recording attendance, evaluating performance, and tracking the status of your employees. We even provide you with step-by-step instructions and suggested procedures. You can treat your employees as if you had a professional human resources specialist on your staff. On page 6 of the enclosed pamphlet, you can read about our WorkZone software. To receive a preview copy or to ask questions about its use, just call 1-800-354-5500. Our specialists are eager to help you weekdays from 8 to 5 PST. If you prefer, visit our Web site to receive more information or to place an order.

Links sales promotion to reader benefits

Makes it easy to respond

Sincerely,

Linda DeLorme Senior Marketing Representative Enclosure

ADJUSTMENT LETTERS When a company responds favorably to a customer’s claim, the response is called an adjustment.

Even the best-run and best-loved businesses occasionally receive claims or complaints from consumers. When a company receives a claim and decides to respond favorably, the letter is called an adjustment letter. Most businesses make adjustments promptly—they replace merchandise, refund money, extend discounts, send coupons, and repair goods. Businesses make favorable adjustments to legitimate claims for two reasons. First, consumers are protected by contractual and tort law for recovery of damages. If, for example, you find an insect in a package of frozen peas, the food processor of that package is bound by contractual law to replace it. If you suffer injury, the processor may be liable for damages. Second, and more obviously, most organizations genuinely want to satisfy their customers and retain their business.

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Whether selling carpets, computers, or cars, businesses want happy customers. When something goes wrong, most companies try their best to satisfy their customers. Research shows that seven out of ten customers who complain will do business with the company again so long as their concern is handled properly. Adjustment letters respond to customer complaints.

Favorable responses to customer claims follow the direct pattern; unfavorable responses follow the indirect pattern.

To compete globally and to pump up local markets, most businesses recognize the value of retaining current customers. A survey of financial services companies revealed that the average cost to retain a customer was $57. To recruit a new customer cost a whopping $279. One way to retain customers is to listen to what they have to say—even when it’s a complaint. For many reasons, businesses are eager to respond to customer claims and retain the customer’s goodwill. In responding to customer claims, you must first decide whether to grant the claim. Unless the claim is obviously fraudulent or represents an excessive sum, you’ll probably grant it. When you say yes, your adjustment letter will be good news to the reader, so you’ll want to use the direct pattern. When your response is no, the indirect pattern might be more appropriate. Chapter 8 discusses the indirect pattern for conveying negative news. In responding to a claim, you have three goals: • To rectify the wrong, if one exists • To regain the confidence of the customer • To promote future business and goodwill In responding favorably to a claim, use the direct strategy described in the following writing plan:

Writing Plan for Adjustment Letters

•

Subject line: (optional) Identify the previous correspondence and make a gen-

•

Opening: Grant the request or announce the adjustment immediately. Include

•

Body: Provide details about how you are complying with the request. Try to re-

•

gain the customer’s confidence; include sales promotion if appropriate. Closing: End positively with a forward-looking thought; express confidence in future business relations. Avoid referring to unpleasantness.

eral reference to the main topic. sales promotion if appropriate.

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Revealing Good News in the Opening Readers want to learn the good news immediately.

Instead of beginning with a review of what went wrong, present the good news immediately. When Amy Hopkins responded to the claim of customer Sound Systems, Inc., about a missing shipment, her first draft, shown at the top of Figure 6.4, was angry. No wonder. Sound Systems had apparently provided the wrong shipping address, and the goods were returned. But once Amy and her company decided to send a second shipment and comply with the customer’s claim, she had to give up the anger and strive to retain the goodwill and the business of this customer. The improved version of her letter announces that a new shipment will arrive shortly. If you decide to comply with a customer’s claim, let the receiver know immediately. Don’t begin your letter with a negative statement (We are very sorry to hear that you are having trouble with your dishwasher). This approach reminds the reader of the problem and may rekindle the heated emotions or unhappy feelings experienced when the claim was written. Instead, focus on the good news. The following openings for various letters illustrate how to begin a message with good news: You’re right! We agree that the warranty on your American Standard Model UC600 dishwasher should be extended for six months. You will be receiving shortly a new slim Nokia 8860 cell phone to replace the one that shattered when dropped recently. Please take your portable Admiral microwave oven to A-1 Appliance Service, 200 Orange Street, Pasadena, where it will be repaired at no cost to you. The enclosed check for $325 demonstrates our desire to satisfy our customers and earn their confidence.

Be enthusiastic, not grudging, when making an adjustment.

In announcing that you will make an adjustment, be sure to do so without a grudging tone—even if you have reservations about whether the claim is legitimate. Once you decide to comply with the customer’s request, do so happily. Avoid halfhearted or reluctant responses (Although the American Standard dishwasher works well when used properly, we have decided to allow you to take yours to A-1 Appliance Service for repair at our expense).

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FIGURE 6.4

Customer Adjustment Letter

Corresponding at Work

before revision Gentlemen: Fails to reveal good news immediately and blames customer

Creates ugly tone with negative words and sarcasm

Sounds grudging and reluctant in granting claim

In response to your recent complaint about a missing shipment, it’s very difficult to deliver merchandise when we have been given an erroneous address. Our investigators looked into your problem shipment and determined that it was sent immediately after we received the order. According to the shipper’s records, it was delivered to the warehouse address given on your stationery: 3590 University Avenue, St. Paul, Minnesota 55114. Unfortunately, no one at that address would accept delivery, so the shipment was returned to us. I see from your current stationery that your company has a new address. With the proper address, we probably could have delivered this shipment. Although we feel that it is entirely appropriate to charge you shipping and restocking fees, as is our standard practice on returned goods, in this instance we will waive those fees. We hope this second shipment finally catches up with you at your current address. Sincerely,

after revision EW ELECTRONIC WAREHOUSE 930 Abbott Park Place Providence, RI 02903-5309

Phone: (401) 876-8201 Fax: (401) 876-8345 Web: www.ewarehouse.com

February 21, 200x Mr. Jeremy Garber Sound Systems, Inc. 2293 Second Avenue St. Paul, MN 55120 Dear Mr. Garber: Subject: Your February 14 Letter About Your Purchase Order You should receive by February 25 a second shipment of the speakers, DVDs, headphones, and other electronic equipment that you ordered January 20. The first shipment of this order was delivered January 28 to 3590 University Avenue, St. Paul, Minnesota 55114. When no one at that address would accept the shipment, it was returned to us. Now that I have your letter, I see that the order should have been sent to 2293 Second Avenue, St. Paul, Minnesota 55120. When an order is undeliverable, we usually try to verify the shipping address by telephoning the customer. Somehow the return of this shipment was not caught by our normally painstaking shipping clerks. You can be sure that I will investigate shipping and return procedures with our clerks immediately to see whether we can improve existing methods. Your respect is important to us, Mr. Garber. Although our rock-bottom discount prices have enabled us to build a volume business, we don’t want to be so large that we lose touch with valued customers like you. Over the years our customers’ respect has made us successful, and we hope that the prompt delivery of this shipment will retain yours. Sincerely,

Amy Hopkins Distribution Manager c: David Cole Shipping Department

Uses customer’s name in salutation Announces good news immediately

Regains confidence of customer by explaining what happened and by suggesting plans for improvement

Closes confidently with genuine appeal for customer’s respect

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Explaining Compliance in the Body Most businesses comply with claims because they want to promote customer goodwill.

Because negative words suggest blame and fault, avoid them in letters that attempt to build customer goodwill.

In responding to claims, most organizations sincerely want to correct a wrong. They want to do more than just make the customer happy. They want to stand behind their products and services; they want to do what’s right. In the body of the letter, explain how you are complying with the claim. In all but the most routine claims, you should also seek to regain the confidence of the customer. You might reasonably expect that a customer who has experienced difficulty with a product, with delivery, with billing, or with service has lost faith in your organization. Rebuilding that faith is important for future business. How to rebuild lost confidence depends on the situation and the claim. If procedures need to be revised, explain what changes will be made. If a product has defective parts, tell how the product is being improved. If service is faulty, describe genuine efforts to improve it. Notice in Figure 6.4 that the writer promises to investigate shipping procedures to see whether improvements might prevent future mishaps. Sometimes the problem is not with the product but with the way it’s being used. In other instances customers misunderstand warranties or inadvertently cause delivery and billing mix-ups by supplying incorrect information. Remember that rational and sincere explanations will do much to regain the confidence of unhappy customers. In your explanation avoid emphasizing negative words such as trouble, regret, misunderstanding, fault, defective, error, inconvenience, and unfortunately. Keep your message positive and upbeat.

Deciding Whether to Apologize

Apologize if it seems natural and appropriate.

Whether to apologize is a debatable issue. Studies of adjustment letters received by consumers show that a majority do contain apologies, either in the opening or in the closing.2 Attorneys generally discourage apologies fearing that they admit responsibility and will trigger lawsuits. But an analysis of case outcomes indicates that both judges and juries tend to look on apologies favorably. A few states are even passing laws that protect those who apologize.3 Some business writing experts advise against apologies, contending that they are counterproductive and merely remind the customer of unpleasantness related to the claim. If, however, it seems natural to you to apologize, do so. People like to hear apologies. It raises their self-esteem, shows the humility of the writer, and acts as a form of “psychological compensation.”4 Don’t, however, fall back on the familiar phrase, I’m sorry for any inconvenience we may have caused. It sounds mechanical and insincere. Instead, try something like this: We understand the frustration our delay has caused you, We’re sorry you didn’t receive better service, or You’re right to be disappointed. If you feel that an apology is appropriate, do it early and briefly. Remember, however, that the primary focus of your letter is on (1) how you are complying with the request, (2) how the problem occurred, and (3) how you are working to prevent its recurrence.

Using Sensitive Language

Avoiding negative language retains customer goodwill, and resale information rebuilds customer confidence.

The language of adjustment letters must be particularly sensitive, since customers are already upset. Here are some don’ts: • Don’t use negative words (trouble, regret, misunderstanding, fault, error, inconvenience, you claim). • Don’t blame customers—even when they may be at fault. • Don’t blame individuals or departments within your organization; it’s unprofessional. • Don’t make unrealistic promises; you can’t guarantee that the situation will never recur. To regain the confidence of your reader, consider including resale information. Describe a product’s features and any special applications that might appeal to the reader. Promote a new product if it seems appropriate.

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Showing Confidence in the Closing Close an adjustment letter with appreciation, thanks for past business, a desire to be of service, or the promotion of a new product.

End positively by expressing confidence that the problem has been resolved and that continued business relations will result. You might mention the product in a favorable light, suggest a new product, express your appreciation for the customer’s business, or anticipate future business. It’s often appropriate to refer to the desire to be of service and to satisfy customers. Notice how the following closings illustrate a positive, confident tone: You were most helpful in informing us of this situation and permitting us to correct it. We appreciate your thoughtfulness in writing to us. Thanks for writing. Your satisfaction is important to us. We hope that this refund check convinces you that service to our customers is our No. 1 priority. Our goals are to earn your confidence and continue to justify that confidence with quality products and excellent service. Your flat panel Inspiron 1200 Notebook will come in handy whether you’re working at home or on the road. And you can upgrade to a 17-inch display for only $100. Take a look at the enclosed booklet detailing the big savings for essential technology on a budget. We value your business and look forward to your future orders.

LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION Letters of recommendation present honest, objective evaluations of individuals and help match candidates to jobs.

Letters of recommendation may be written to nominate people for awards and for membership in organizations. More frequently, though, they are written to evaluate present or former employees. The central concern in these messages is honesty. Thus, you should avoid exaggerating or distorting a candidate’s qualifications to cover up weaknesses or to destroy the person’s chances. Ethically and legally, you have a duty to the candidate as well as to other employers to describe that person truthfully and objectively. You don’t, however, have to endorse everyone who asks. Since recommendations are generally voluntary, you can—and should—resist writing letters for individuals you can’t truthfully support. Ask these people to find other recommenders who know them better. Some businesspeople today refuse to write recommendations for former employees because they fear lawsuits. Other businesspeople argue that recommendations are useless because they’re always positive. Despite the general avoidance of

Letters of recommendation make a big difference to employment candidates. Wellwritten letters help match candidates with jobs. To be safe, writers should focus on information necessary to evaluate job performance.

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negatives, well-written recommendations do help match candidates with jobs. Hiring companies learn more about a candidate’s skills and potential. As a result, they are able to place a candidate properly. Therefore, you should learn to write such letters because you will surely be expected to do so in your future career. For letters of recommendation, use the direct strategy as described in the following writing plan:

Writing Plan for a Letter of Recommendation

• • •

Opening: Identify the applicant, the position, and the reason for writing. State that the message is confidential. Establish your relationship with the applicant. Describe the length of employment or relationship. Body: Describe job duties. Provide specific examples of the applicant’s professional and personal skills and attributes. Compare the applicant with others in his or her field. Closing: Summarize the significant attributes of the applicant. Offer an overall rating. Draw a conclusion regarding the recommendation.

Identifying the Purpose in the Opening The opening names the candidate, identifies the purpose, and describes the relationship of the writer.

Begin an employment recommendation by identifying the candidate and the position sought, if you know it. State that your remarks are confidential, and suggest that you are writing at the request of the applicant. Describe your relationship with the candidate, as shown in the first paragraph of the employment recommendation letter in Figure 6.5. Letters that recommend individuals for awards may open with more supportive statements, such as, I’m very pleased to nominate Robert Walsh for the Employee-of-the-Month award. For the past 16 months, Mr. Walsh served as staff accountant in my division. During that time he distinguished himself by . . . .

Providing Evidence in the Body The body of an employment recommendation should describe the candidate’s job performance and potential in specific terms.

The body of an employment recommendation should describe the applicant’s job performance and potential. Employers are particularly interested in such traits as communication skills, organizational skills, people skills, the ability to work with a team, the ability to work independently, honesty, dependability, ambition, loyalty, and initiative. In describing these traits, be sure to back them up with evidence. One of the biggest weaknesses in letters of recommendation is that writers tend to make global, nonspecific statements (He was careful and accurate versus He completed eight financial statements monthly with about 99 percent accuracy). Employers prefer definite, task-related descriptions, as shown in the second and third paragraphs of Figure 6.5. Be especially careful to support any negative comments with verification (not He was slower than other customer service reps but He answered 18 calls an hour, whereas most service reps average 30 calls an hour). In reporting deficiencies, be sure to describe behavior (her last two reports were late and had to be rewritten by her supervisor) rather than evaluate it (she is unreliable and her reports are careless).

Evaluating in the Closing The closing presents an overall evaluation and may encourage a telephone call.

In the final paragraph of a recommendation, you should offer an overall evaluation. Indicate how you would rank this person in relation to others in similar positions. Many managers add a statement indicating whether they would rehire the applicant, given the chance. If you are strongly supportive, summarize the candidate’s best qualities. In the closing you might also offer to answer questions by telephone. Such a statement, though, could suggest that the candidate has weak skills and that you will make damaging statements orally but not in print. General letters of recommendation, written when the candidate has no specific position in mind, often begin with the salutation TO PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYERS. More

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FIGURE 6.5

Employment Recommendation Letter

Corresponding at Work

ST. ELIZABETH’S HOSPITAL 2404 Euclid Avenue Cleveland, OH 44414-2900 216-439-8700 ww.stelizabeth.com

February 21, 200x

Illustrates simplified letter style

Vice President, Human Resources Healthcare Enterprises 3529 Springfield Street Cincinnati, OH 45890 RECOMMENDATION OF LANCE W. OLIVER

Identifies applicant and position

At the request of Lance W. Oliver, I submit this confidential information in support of his application for the position of assistant director in your Human Resources Department. Mr. Oliver served under my supervision as assistant director of Guest Relations at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital for the past three years.

Supports general qualities with specific details

Mr. Oliver was in charge of many customer service programs for our 770-bed hospital. A large part of his job involved monitoring and improving patient satisfaction. Because of his personable nature and superior people skills, he got along well with fellow employees, patients, and physicians. His personnel record includes a number of “Gotcha” citations, given to employees caught in the act of performing exemplary service. Mr. Oliver works well with a team, as evidenced by his participation on the steering committee to develop our “Service First Every Day” program. His most significant contributions to our hospital, though, came as a result of his own creativity and initiative. He developed and implemented a patient hotline to hear complaints and resolve problems immediately. This enormously successful telephone service helped us improve our patient satisfaction rating from 7.2 last year to 8.4 this year. That’s the highest rating in our history, and Mr. Oliver deserves a great deal of the credit.

Summarizes main points and offers evaluation

Mentions confidentiality of message Tells relationship to writer

Describes and interprets accomplishments

We’re sorry to lose Mr. Oliver, but we recognize his desire to advance his career. I am confident that his resourcefulness, intelligence, and enthusiasm will make him successful in your organization. I recommend him without reservation.

MARY E. O’ROURKE, DIRECTOR, GUEST RELATIONS MEO:rtd

Tips for Writing Letters of Recommendation • • • • • • • •

Identify the purpose and confidentiality of the message. Establish your relationship with the applicant. Describe the length of employment and job duties, if relevant. Provide specific examples of the applicant’s professional and personal skills. Compare the applicant with others in the same field. Offer an overall rating of the applicant. Summarize the significant attributes of the applicant. Draw a conclusion regarding the recommendation.

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specific recommendations, to support applications to known positions, address an individual. When the addressee’s name is unknown, consider using the simplified letter format, shown in Figure 6.5, which avoids a salutation.

WRITING WINNING GOODWILL MESSAGES Written goodwill messages carry more meaning than ready-made cards.

Messages that express thanks, recognition, and sympathy should be written promptly.

Goodwill messages, which include thanks, recognition, and sympathy, seem to intimidate many communicators. Finding the right words to express feelings is sometimes more difficult than writing ordinary business documents. Writers tend to procrastinate when it comes to goodwill messages, or else they send a ready-made card or pick up the telephone. Remember, though, that the personal sentiments of the sender are always more expressive and more meaningful to readers than are printed cards or oral messages. Taking the time to write gives more importance to our well-wishing. Personal notes also provide a record that can be reread, savored, and treasured. In expressing thanks, recognition, or sympathy, you should always do so promptly. These messages are easier to write when the situation is fresh in your mind. They also mean more to the recipient. What’s more, a prompt thank-you note carries the hidden message that you care and that you consider the event to be important. You will learn to write four kinds of goodwill messages—thanks, congratulations, praise, and sympathy. Instead of writing plans for each of them, we recommend that you concentrate on the five Ss. Goodwill messages should be: • Selfless. Be sure to focus the message solely on the receiver, not the sender. Don’t talk about yourself; avoid such comments as I remember when I . . . . • Specific. Personalize the message by mentioning specific incidents or characteristics of the receiver. Telling a colleague Great speech is much less effective than Great story about McDonald’s marketing in Moscow. Take care to verify names and other facts. • Sincere. Let your words show genuine feelings. Rehearse in your mind how you would express the message to the receiver orally. Then transform that conversational language to your written message. Avoid pretentious, formal, or flowery language (It gives me great pleasure to extend felicitations on the occasion of your firm’s twentieth anniversary). • Spontaneous. Keep the message fresh and enthusiastic. Avoid canned phrases (Congratulations on your promotion, Good luck in the future). Strive for directness and naturalness, not creative brilliance. • Short. Although goodwill messages can be as long as needed, try to accomplish your purpose in only a few sentences. What is most important is remembering an individual. Such caring does not require documentation or wordiness. Individuals and business organizations often use special note cards or stationery for brief messages.

Thanks

Send letters of thanks to customers, hosts, and individuals who have performed kind acts.

When someone has done you a favor or when an action merits praise, you need to extend thanks or show appreciation. Letters of appreciation may be written to customers for their orders, to hosts and hostesses for their hospitality, to individuals for kindnesses performed, and especially to customers who complain. After all, complainers are actually providing you with free consulting reports from the field. Complainers who feel that they were listened to often become the greatest promoters of an organization.5 Because the receiver will be pleased to hear from you, you can open directly with the purpose of your message. The letter in Figure 6.6 thanks a speaker who addressed a group of marketing professionals. Although such thank-you notes can be quite short, this one is a little longer because the writer wants to lend importance to the receiver’s efforts. Notice that every sentence relates to the receiver and offers

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FIGURE 6.6

Favor Thank-you

Corresponding at Work

International Marketing Association 225 West 17th Street New York, New York 10029 (212) 837-0291 http://www.ima.net

February 26, 200x

Mr. Michael T. Reese Marketing Manager, Eastern Division Toys “R” Us, Inc. One Geoffrey Way Wayne, NJ 07470-2030 Dear Mr. Reese:

Personalizes the message by using specifics rather than generalities

Concludes with compliments and thanks

You have our sincere gratitude for providing the Manhattan chapter of the IM with one of the best presentations our group has ever heard. Your description of the battle Toys “R” Us waged to begin marketing products in Japan was a genuine eye-opener for many of us. Nine years of preparation establishing connections and securing permissions seems an eternity, but obviously such persistence and patience pay off. We now understand better the need to learn local customs and nurture relationships when dealing in Japan or other Asian countries. In addition to your good advice, we particularly enjoyed your sense of humor and jokes––as you must have recognized from the uproarious laughter. What a great routine you do on faulty translations!

Tells purpose and delivers praise

Spotlights the reader’s talents

We’re grateful, Mr. Reese, for the entertaining and instructive evening you provided our marketing professionals. Thanks! Cordially

Rosetta H. Johnson Program Chair, IMA RHJ:mef

E-mail and e-cards are inappropriate for serious thank-you and other goodwill messages.

enthusiastic praise. By using the receiver’s name along with contractions and positive words, the writer makes the letter sound warm and conversational. Should you use e-mail or e-cards to send goodwill messages? Although electronic messages may be acceptable for close friends or in isolated instances, goodwill messages sent by land mail are much better. Recently an employee wrote to etiquette maven Miss Manners. He said that he had been invited to the home of his boss for a formal dinner. He thanked his boss by sending him an e-card. Later he noticed that his boss seemed remote. Miss Manners asked whether the boss had served him dinner out of a can. If not, then why send him a canned thank-you? Personally written notes that show appreciation and express thanks are significant to their receivers. In expressing thanks, you generally write a short note on special notepaper or heavy card stock. It’s acceptable to print the message on a computer, perhaps in a script font, but use special paper. The following messages provide models for expressing thanks for a gift, for a favor, and for hospitality.

To Express Thanks for a Gift Identify the gift, tell why you appreciate it, and explain how you will use it.

Thanks, Laura, to you and the other members of the department for honoring me with the elegant Waterford crystal vase at the party celebrating my twentieth anniversary with the company.

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The height and shape of the vase are perfect to hold roses and other bouquets from my garden. Each time I fill it, I’ll remember your thoughtfulness in choosing this lovely gift for me.

To Send Thanks for a Favor Tell what the favor means using sincere, simple statements.

I sincerely appreciate your filling in for me last week when I was too ill to attend the planning committee meeting for the spring exhibition. Without your participation much of my preparatory work would have been lost. It’s comforting to know that competent and generous individuals like you are part of our team, Mark. Moreover, it’s my very good fortune to be able to count you as a friend. I’m grateful to you.

To Extend Thanks for Hospitality Compliment the fine food, charming surroundings, warm hospitality, excellent host and hostess, and good company.

Jeffrey and I want you to know how much we enjoyed the dinner party for our department that you hosted Saturday evening. Your charming home and warm hospitality, along with the lovely dinner and sinfully delicious chocolate dessert, combined to create a truly memorable evening. Most of all, though, we appreciate your kindness in cultivating togetherness in our department. Thanks, Jennifer, for being such a special person.

Goodwill Response Take the time to respond to any goodwill message you may receive.

Should you respond when you receive a congratulatory note or a written pat on the back? By all means! These messages are attempts to connect personally; they are efforts to reach out, to form professional and/or personal bonds. Failing to respond to notes of congratulations and most other goodwill messages is like failing to say “You’re welcome” when someone says “Thank you.” Responding to such messages is simply the right thing to do. Do avoid, though, minimizing your achievements with comments that suggest that you don’t really deserve the praise or that the sender is exaggerating your good qualities.

To Answer a Congratulatory Note Thanks for your kind words regarding my award, and thanks, too, for sending me the newspaper clipping. I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness and warm wishes.

To Respond to a Pat on the Back Your note about my work made me feel good. I’m grateful for your thoughtfulness.

Sympathy Sympathy notes should refer to the misfortune sensitively and offer assistance.

Most of us can bear misfortune and grief more easily when we know that others care. Notes expressing sympathy, though, are probably more difficult to write than any other kind of message. Commercial “In sympathy” cards make the task easier—but they are far less meaningful. Grieving friends want to know what you think—not what Hallmark’s card writers think. To help you get started, you can always glance through cards expressing sympathy. They will supply ideas about the kinds of thoughts you might wish to convey in your own words. In writing a sympathy note, (1) refer to the death or misfortune sensitively, using words that show you understand what a crushing blow it is; (2) in the case of a death, praise the deceased in a personal way; (3) offer assistance without going into excessive detail; and (4) end on a reassuring, forward-looking note. Sympathy messages may be typed, although handwriting seems more personal. In either case, use notepaper or personal stationery.

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In condolence notes mention the loss tactfully and recognize the good qualities of the deceased. Assure the receiver of your concern. Offer assistance.

Conclude on a positive, reassuring note.

Corresponding at Work

To Express Condolences We are deeply saddened, Gayle, to learn of the death of your husband. Warren’s kind nature and friendly spirit endeared him to all who knew him. He will be missed. Although words seem empty in expressing our grief, we want you to know that your friends at QuadCom extend their profound sympathy to you. If we may help you or lighten your load in any way, you have but to call. We know that the treasured memories of your many happy years together, along with the support of your family and many friends, will provide strength and comfort in the months ahead.

SUMMING UP AND LOOKING FORWARD In this chapter you learned to write letters that request information, make direct claims, respond favorably to information requests, and make adjustments. You also learned to write letters of recommendation and a variety of goodwill messages. All of these everyday business

messages use the direct strategy. They open immediately with the main idea followed by details and explanations. Not all messages, however, are straightforward. In the next chapter you’ll learn to use the indirect pattern when you must be persuasive.

CRITICAL THINKING 1. A recent article in a professional magazine carried this headline: “Is Letter Writing Dead?”6 How would you respond to such a question? 2. Which is more effective in claim letters—anger or objectivity? Why? 3. Is it insensitive to include resale or sales promotion information in an adjustment letter?

4. Why is it important to regain the confidence of a customer when you respond to a claim letter? 5. Is it appropriate for businesspeople to write goodwill messages expressing thanks, recognition, and sympathy to business acquaintances? Why or why not?

CHAPTER REVIEW 6. Under what conditions is it important to send business letters rather than e-mail messages?

7. What determines whether you write a letter directly or indirectly?

8. What are the two most important positions in a letter?

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9. List two ways that you could begin a direct inquiry letter that asks many questions.

10. What three elements are appropriate in the closing of a request for information?

11. What is a claim letter? Give an original example.

12. What are the three goals of a writer of an adjustment letter?

13. Why do some companies comply with nearly all claims?

14. What information should the opening in a letter of recommendation include?

15. The best goodwill messages include what five characteristics?

WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES Letter-Opening Choices Your Task. Indicate which of the following entries represents an effective direct opening. 16. a. Will you please allow me to introduce myself. I am Daryl Davidson, and I am assistant to the director of Human Resources at MicroSynergy. Our company has an intranet, which we would like to use more efficiently to elicit feedback on employee issues and concerns. I understand that you have a software product called “Opinionware” that might do this, and I need to ask you some questions about it. b. Please answer the following questions about your software product “Opinionware,” which we are considering for our intranet. 17. a. Thank you for your e-mail of March 22 in which you inquired about the availability of a CD burner and DVD combo drive. b. We have on hand an ample supply of CD burner/DVD combo drives. 18. a. Yes, the next Michigan Computer Show featuring the latest computer hardware and software will be held in the Gibraltar Trade Center from April 15–18. b. This will acknowledge receipt of your inquiry of December 2 in which you ask about the next Michigan Computer Show.

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19. a. Your letter of July 26 requesting a refund has been referred to me because Mr. Avila is away from the office. b. Your refund check for $175 is enclosed.

Direct Openings Your Task. Revise the following openings so that they are more direct. Add information if necessary. 20. My name is Brandon Brockway, and I am assistant to the manager of Information Services & Technology at HealthCentral, Inc. Our company needs to do a better job of integrating human resources and payroll functions. I understand that you have a software product called “HRFocus” that might do this, and I need to ask you some questions about it.

21. Anderson Associates has undertaken a management initiative to pursue an internship program. I have been appointed as the liaison person to conduct research regarding our proposed program. We are fully aware of the benefits of a strong internship program, and our management team is eager to take advantage of some of these benefits. We would be deeply appreciative if you would be kind enough to help me out with answers to a number of specific questions.

22. Your letter of March 4 has been referred to me. Pursuant to your inquiry, I have researched your question in regard to whether or not we offer our European-style patio umbrella in colors. This unique umbrella is one of our most popular items. Its 10-foot canopy protects you when the sun is directly overhead, but it also swivels and tilts to virtually any angle for continuous sun protection all day long. It comes in two colors: cream and forest green.

23. Pursuant to your inquiry of June 14, which was originally sent to Classic Motorcycle Magazine, I am happy to respond to you. In your letter you ask about the tire choices for the Superbike and Superstock teams competing at the Honda Superbike Classic in Alabama. As you noted, the track temperatures reached above 125 degrees and the new asphalt surface had an abrasive effect on tires. With the added heat and reduced grip, nearly all of the riders in the competition selected Dunlop Blue Groove hard compound front and rear tires.

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24. I am pleased to receive your inquiry regarding the possibility of my acting as a speaker at the final semester meeting of your business management club meeting on May 2. The topic of online résumés interests me and is one on which I think I could impart helpful information to your members. Therefore, I am responding in the affirmative to your kind invitation.

25. Thank you for your recent order of February 4. We are sure your customers and employees will love the high-quality Color-Block Sweatshirts with an 80/20 cotton/polyester blend that you ordered from our spring catalog. Your order is currently being processed and should leave our warehouse in Iowa in mid-February. We use UPS for all deliveries in southern California. Because you ordered sweatshirts with your logo embroidered in a two-tone combination, your order cannot be shipped until February 18. You should not expect it until about February 20.

26. We have just received your letter of October 3 regarding the unfortunate troubles you are having with your Premier DVD player. In your letter you ask if you may send the flawed DVD player to us for inspection. It is our normal practice to handle all service requests through our local dealers. However, in your circumstance we are willing to take a look at your unit here at our Columbus plant. Therefore, please send it to us so that we may determine what’s wrong.

Closing Paragraph Your Task. The following concluding paragraph to a claim letter response suffers from faults in strategy, tone, and emphasis. Revise and improve. 27. As a result of your complaint of November 3, we are sending a replacement shipment of PC power packs by BigDog Express. Unfortunately, this shipment will not reach you until November 10. We hope that you will not allow this troubling incident and the resulting inconvenience and lost sales you suffered to jeopardize our future business relations. In the past we have been able to provide you with quality products and prompt service.

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WRITING COACH

STEP-BY-STEP DEMONSTRATION

Direct Request Letter

Problem As the office manager at Earth Systems, you are responsible for equipment. The operations chief, Eric Young, sits down at your desk and says, “Look, we’ve just received a notice from our insurance carrier telling us that we have to secure our office equipment or else our rates will increase. How many pieces of equipment do we have? Can you get some figures on how much this will cost?” Counting the computers in private offices, you figure that the company has 18 workstations consisting of computers, monitors, and keyboards plus 12 printers. But you are worried about installing security devices that might tie the computers to desktops and make it impossible to move them around. You realize, of course, that office theft can be a problem. After checking local sources for security devices, you decide to write to a national supplier, Micro Supplies and Software, to get an estimate.

before revision Address receiver by name if possible

Dear Sirs: Our insurance rates will be increased in the near future if we don’t install security devices on our computer equipment. We have considered some local suppliers, but none had exactly what we wanted. That’s why I am writing to see if you can

Open directly, not with, background and explanations

provide information and recommendations regarding security equipment to prevent theft of office computers and printers.

Our office now has 18 computer workstations along with twelve printers. We need a device that can be used to secure separate computer components to desks or counters. Would you please recommend a device that can secure a workstation consisting of a computer, monitor, and keyboard. Enumerate questions in parallel form

We wonder if professionals are needed to install your security devices and to remove them. We’re also interested in whether the devices can be easily removed when we need to move equipment around. We are, of course, very interested in the price of each device. What about quantity discounts, if you offer them.

Close concisely with thanks and end date

If you could respond before February 15, I would appreciate it very much. This would help us meet a deadline of April 1 from our insurance carrier. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Sincerely,

Need statement introducing list

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Writing Plan ask. The questions should be organized into a logical sequence.

OPENING Ask the most important question first or express a polite command. The purpose of this letter is to request information about security devices. The primary audience will be staff members at a company that wants to sell such devices, so a direct approach is appropriate.

CLOSING Request a specific action with an end date, if appropriate, and show appreciation. Decide how soon the information is needed to meet the insurance deadline.

BODY Explain the request logically and courteously. Ask other questions if necessary. Before writing the letter, you need to inventory the current equipment and decide what questions to

after revision EARTH SYSTEMS Geotechnical Engineers 4439 Hitchcock Way

www.earthsystems.com Ventura, CA 93105

(805) 558-8791

January 28, 200x

Mr. Jeff Lee, Customer Service Micro Supplies and Software P.O. Box 6418 Fort Atkinson, WI 53538 Dear Mr. Lee: Please provide information and recommendations regarding security equipment to prevent theft of office computers and printers. Our office now has 18 computer workstations and 12 printers that we must secure to desks or counters. Answers to the following questions will help us select the best devices for our purposes: 1. What device would you recommend to secure a workstation consisting of a computer, monitor, and keyboard? 2. Are professionals needed to install your security devices and remove them? 3. Can the devices be easily removed when we need to move equipment around? 4. What is the price of each device? Do you offer quantity discounts? If so, how much? Thanks for responding before February 15 so that we can meet an April 1 deadline from our insurance carrier. Sincerely,

Deanna Gomez Office Manager

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WRITING IMPROVEMENT CASES

6.1 Direct Request: Las Vegas Conference The following letter from Brianna Phelps inquires about conference facilities in Las Vegas. Her first draft must be revised. Your Task. Analyze Brianna’s letter. It suffers from many writing faults that you have studied. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the letter. Current date Meeting Manager The Venetian 3355 Las Vegas Boulevard Las Vegas, NV 89109 Dear Sir: My name is Brianna Phelps, and I am a recently hired member of the Marketing and Special Events Division of my company, Cynergy. I have been given the assignment of making initial inquiries for the purpose of arranging our next marketing meeting. Pursuant to this assignment, I am writing to you. We would like to find a resort hotel with conference facilities, and we have heard excellent things about The Venetian. Our marketing meeting will require banquet facilities where we can all be together, but we will also need at least four meeting rooms that are small in size. Each of these rooms should accommodate in the neighborhood of 75. We hope to arrange our conference October 23–27, and we expect about 250 sales associates. Most of our associates will be flying in, so I’m interested in transportation to and from the airport. Does The Venetian have public address systems in the meeting rooms? Due to the fact that we will be making electronic presentations, how about audio-visual equipment and computer facilities for presentations? I am also interested in learning whether the Sands Convention Center is part of The Venetian. Thank you for your cooperation. Sincerely,

List at least five specific weaknesses in Brianna’s letter.

Outline a writing plan for an information request. Opening: Body: Closing:

6.2 Direct Reply: McDonald’s Goes Green Fast-food giant McDonald’s is often accused of generating excessive litter and abusing the environment with its packaging and products. It receives letters from consumers asking what it is doing to reduce waste and improve the environment.

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Your Task. As part of a group of interns at McDonald’s, you are to revise the following rough draft of an information response letter to be sent to people inquiring about the company’s environmental policies and practices. Analyze the letter and list at least five weaknesses. What writing plan should this letter follow? If your instructor agrees, revise it. Add an appropriate subject line and any additional information you know about McDonald’s environmental practices. Current date Ms. Julie Kahn 176 Prospect Avenue Elmhurst, IL 60126 Dear Ms. Kahn: This is in response to your inquiry about McDonald’s environmental policies. As a leader in the fast-food industry, reducing waste and conserving the environment are extremely important to those of us here at McDonald’s. Since it began working with the Environmental Defense Fund 80 percent of its restaurant waste stream has been eliminated by McDonald’s. McDonald’s is reducing it’s impact on landfills and world resources. McDonald’s have introduced a number of practices that are environmentally-friendly. For one thing, we are developing new packaging. In fact, we have reduced our polystyrene use by 90 percent. Another thing we are doing is increasing recycling. Our suppliers are using corrugated boxes with at least 35 percent recycled content. Reusable salad lids and shipping pallets, bulk condiment dispensers, and refillable coffee mugs are being tested. Another thing we are doing has to do with composting. More of our restaurants are experimenting with compositing egg shells, coffee grounds, and food scraps. Another thing we are doing has to do with reduced waste. All of our suppliers must meet new waste-reduction goals. And restaurant crews have been retrained to give waste reduction equal priority with quality quickness and cleanliness. As you can see, McDonald’s cares about preserving the earths resources for today. And for the future. We think we are doing a great job in our commitment to conservation. But you can see for yourself by visiting your local McDonald’s We hope you will use the enclosed sandwich coupons and experience first hand the changes we’re making at McDonald’s. Sincerely,

List at least five weaknesses in the preceding letter.

Outline a writing plan for an information response. Subject line: Opening: Body: Closing:

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6.3 Claim Letter: Disturbed by Rental Car Charges Your Task. Analyze the following poorly written letter. List its weaknesses, and outline a writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the letter. Current date Mr. Sergio Harris, Manager Customer Service Avon Car Rentals 6501 King Lawrence Road Raleigh, NC 27607 Dear Customer Service Manager Sergio Harris, This is to inform you that you can’t have it both ways. Either you provide customers with cars with full gas tanks or you don’t. And if you don’t, you shouldn’t charge them when they return with empty tanks! In view of the fact that I picked up a car in Raleigh August 22 with an empty tank, I had to fill it immediately. Then I drove it until August 25. When I returned to Charlotte, I naturally let the tank go nearly empty, since that is the way I received the car in Raleigh. But your attendant in Charlotte charged me to fill the tank—$46.50 (premium gasoline at premium prices)! Although I explained to him that I had received it with an empty tank, he kept telling me that company policy required that he charge for a fill-up. My total bill came to $466.50, which, you must agree, is a lot of money for a rental period of only three days. I have the signed rental agreement and a receipt showing that I paid the full amount and that it included $46.50 for a gas fill-up when I returned the car. Inasmuch as my company is a new customer and inasmuch as we had hoped to use your agency for our future car rentals because of your competitive rates, I trust that you will give this matter your prompt attention. Disappointedly yours, 1.

List at least five weaknesses.

Outline a writing plan for a claim. Opening: Body: Closing:

ACTIVITIES AND CASES 6.4 Direct Request: Conference at the Fabulous Paris Las Vegas Your company, Vortex Enterprises, has just had an enormously successful two-year sales period. CEO Kenneth Richardson has asked you, as marketing manager, to arrange a fabulous conference/retreat. “This will be a giant thank-you gift for all 75 of our engineers, product managers, and salespeople,” he says. Warming up to the idea, he says, “I want the company to host a four-day combination sales conference/vacation/ retreat at some spectacular location. Let’s begin by inquiring at Paris Las Vegas. I hear it’s awesome!” You check its Web site and find some general information. However, you decide to write a letter so that you can have a permanent, formal record of all the resorts you investigate. You estimate that your company will require about 75 rooms—preferably with a view of the Strip. You’ll also need about three conference rooms for

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one and a half days. You want to know room rates, conference facilities, and entertainment possibilities for families. The CEO gave you two possible times: July 8–12 or August 18–22. You know that these are off-peak times, and you wonder whether you can get a good room rate. What entertainment will be showing at Paris Las Vegas during these times? One evening the CEO will want to host a banquet for about 140 people. Oh yes, he wants a report from you by March 1. Your Task: Write a well-organized information request to Ms. Nancy Mercado, Manager, Convention Services, Paris Las Vegas, 281 Paris Drive, Las Vegas, NV 87551. Spell out your needs and conclude with a logical end date.

6.5 Direct Request: Informational Interview You want to learn more about careers in your field, and you’ve found someone who is willing to talk to you. The manager you selected is a busy person, and he will try to work a personal interview into his schedule. However, in case he can’t meet you in person, he would like to have your questions in letter form so that he could answer them in a telephone conversation if necessary. Your Task. Write an information request to a real or hypothetical person in a company where you would like to work. If you want to start your own business, write to someone who has done it. Assume that the person has agreed to talk with you, but you haven’t set a date. To learn more about informational interviews and how to write questions, look at the “Checklist for Conducting Informational and Other Interviews.” It can be found at Guffey Xtra! in the online chapter, “Employment and Other Interviewing.” Use your imagination in creating five to eight interview questions. Be sure to show appreciation.

TEAM

6.6 Direct Request: Beach Bike Rentals Seeks Web Exposure As the successful co-owners of Beach Bike Rentals, you and your partner decide that you need a Web site to attract even more business to your resort location. Primarily you rent bicycles and surreys to tourists visiting hotels along the beach. In addition, you carry tandems, pedal go-carts, mountain bikes, slingshot and chopper trikes, and other unique bikes, as well as inline skates. Business is good at your sunny beachside location, but a Web site would provide 24-hour information and attract a wider audience. The trouble is that you don’t know anything about creating, hosting, or maintaining a Web site. Your partner has heard of a local company called Spiderside Web Production, and you decide to inquire about creating a Web site. You and he prefer to write a letter so that you can work on your questions together and create a unified, orderly presentation. Your Task. In teams of two or three, prepare an information request with logical questions about designing, hosting, and maintaining a Web site for a small business. You are not expected to create the content of the site. That will come later. Instead you want to ask questions about how a Web site is developed. You know for sure that you want a page that invites resort and hotel operators to feature your fun-filled facilities at their sites, but you don’t know how to go about it. Address your letter to Richard Wolziac, Spiderside Web Production, 927 El Fuerte Boulevard, Carlsbad, CA 92008. Be sure to include an end date and a reason.

6.7 Direct Request: Krispy Kreme Bake Sale You’ve always loved Krispy Kreme doughnuts, so you were delighted to learn that they are now being sold in a nearby shopping center. You also heard that they can be used in fund-raising events. As chair of the spring fund-raising committee for Noah’s Ark Children’s Center, you need to find out more about how Krispy Kreme’s fund-raising partnership works. Do you hold a traditional bake sale or what? How do you make any money if you sell the doughnuts at their regular retail price? You looked at the company’s Web site and got basic information. You’re still unclear about how certificates work in fund-raising. And what about Krispy Kreme partnership cards? You left a brief note at the Krispy Kreme Web site, but you didn’t get a response. Now you decide to write. Your Task. Compose a letter asking specific questions about how you can partner with Krispy Kreme in raising funds. Use your return address in a personal business letter style (see Figure 6.2). Send your letter to Customer Relations, Krispy Kreme Doughnut Corporation, P.O. Box 83, Winston-Salem, NC 27103. You need feedback by March 1 if you are to use Krispy Kreme in your spring fund-raising event. How do you want Krispy Kreme to respond?

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WEB

6.8 Direct Request: Computer Code of Conduct As an assistant in the campus computer laboratory, you have been asked by your boss to help write a code of conduct for use of the laboratory facilities. This code will spell out what behavior and activities are allowed in your lab. The first thing you are to do is conduct a search of the Internet to see what other college or university computing labs have written as conduct codes. Your Task. Using at least two search engines, search the Web employing variations of the keywords “Computer Code of Conduct.” Print two or three codes that seem appropriate. Write a letter (or an e-mail message, if your instructor agrees) to the director of an educational computer laboratory asking for further information about its code and its effectiveness. Include at least five significant questions. Attach your printouts to your letter.

6.9 Direct Claim: Headaches From “No Surprise” Offer As vice president of Breakaway Travel Service, you are angry with Virtuoso Enterprises. Virtuoso is a catalog company that provides imprinted promotional products for companies. Your travel service was looking for something special to offer in promoting its cruise ship travel packages. Virtuoso offered free samples of its promotional merchandise, under its “No Surprise” policy. You figured, what could you lose? So on February 5 you placed a telephone order for a number of samples. These included an insulated lunch sack, an AM-FM travel radio, a square-ended barrel bag with fanny pack, as well as a deluxe canvas attaché case and two colors of garment-dyed sweatshirts. All items were supposed to be free. You did think it odd that you were asked for your company’s MasterCard credit number, but Virtuoso promised to bill you only if you kept the samples. When the items arrived, you were not pleased, and you returned them all on February 11 (you have a postal receipt showing the return). But your March credit statement showed a charge of $229.13 for the sample items. You called Virtuoso in March and spoke to Rachel, who assured you that a credit would be made on your next statement. However, your April statement showed no credit. You called again and received a similar promise. It’s now May and no credit has been made. You decide to write and demand action. Your Task. Write a claim letter that documents the problem and states the action that you want taken. Add any information you feel is necessary. Address your letter to Ms. Paula Loveday, Customer Services, Virtuoso Enterprises, 420 Ninth Street South, LaCrosse, WI 54602.

6.10 Direct Claim: This Desk Is Going Back As the founder and president of a successful consulting firm, you decided to splurge and purchase a fine executive desk for your own office. You ordered an expensive desk described as “North American white oak embellished with hand-inlaid walnut cross-banding.” Although you would not ordinarily purchase large, expensive items by mail, you were impressed by the description of this desk and by the money-back guarantee promised in the catalog. When the desk arrived, you knew that you had made a mistake. The wood finish was rough, the grain looked splotchy, and many of the drawers would not pull out easily. The advertisement had promised “full suspension, silent ball-bearing drawer slides.” Your Task. Because you are disappointed with the desk, you decide to send it back, taking advantage of the money-back guarantee. Write a claim letter to Patrick Dwiggens, Operations Manager, Premier Wood Products, P.O. Box 528, High Point, NC 27261, asking for your money back. You’re not sure whether the freight charges can be refunded, but it’s worth a try. Supply any details needed.

6.11 Direct Claim: Backing Out of Project Management Seminar Ace Executive Training Institute offered a seminar titled “Enterprise Project Management Protocol” that sounded terrific. It promised to teach project managers how to estimate work, report status, write work packages, and cope with project conflicts. Because your company often is engaged in large cross-functional projects, it decided to send four key managers to the seminar to be held June 1–2 at the Ace headquarters in Pittsburgh. The fee was $2,200 each, and it was paid in advance. About six weeks before the seminar, you learned that three of the managers would be tied up in projects that would not be completed in time for them to attend.

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Your Task. On your company letterhead, write a claim letter to Addison O’Neill, Registrar, Ace Executive Training Institute, 5000 Forbes Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15244. Ask that the seminar fees for three employees be returned because they cannot attend. Give yourself a title and supply any details necessary.

6.12 Direct Claim: A Matter of Mismeasurement As the owner of Custom Designs, you recently completed a living room remodel that required double-glazed, made-to-order oak French doors. You ordered them, by telephone, on April 14 from Capitol Lumber and Hardware. When they arrived on May 18, your carpenter gave you the bad news: the doors were cut too small. Instead of measuring a total of 11 feet 8 inches, the doors measured 11 feet 4 inches. In your carpenter’s words, “No way can I stretch those doors to fit these openings!” You waited nearly five weeks for these doors, and your clients wanted them installed immediately. Your carpenter said, “I can rebuild this opening for you, but I’m going to have to charge you for my time.” His extra charge came to $376. You feel that the people at Capitol Lumber should reimburse you for this amount because it was their error. In fact, you actually saved them a bundle of money by not returning the doors. You decide to write to Capitol Lumber and enclose a copy of your carpenter’s bill. You wonder whether you should also include a copy of Capitol Lumber’s invoice, even though it does not show the exact door measurements. You are a good customer of Capitol Lumber and Hardware, having used their quality doors, windows, and hardware on many other remodeling jobs. You’re confident that it will grant this claim. Your Task. Write a claim letter to Sal Rodriguez, Sales Manager, Capitol Lumber and Hardware, 3568 East Washington Avenue, Indianapolis, IN 46204.

6.13 Direct Claim: The Real Thing Let’s face it. Like most consumers, you’ve probably occasionally been unhappy with service or with products you have used. Your Task. Select a product or service that has disappointed you. Write a claim letter requesting a refund, replacement, explanation, or whatever seems reasonable. Generally, such letters are addressed to customer service departments. For claims about food products, be sure to include bar-code identification from the package, if possible. Your instructor may ask you to actually mail this letter. Remember that smart companies want to know what their customers think, especially if a product could be improved. Give your ideas for improvement. When you receive a response, share it with your class. WEB

6.14 Direct Reply: So You Want an Internship at the Gap? The Gap Inc. headquarters in the San Francisco Bay area is a popular place to work. Many students inquire about summer internships. Although it supplies oodles of information about internships at its Web site, Gap Inc. still receives letters requesting this information. As one of its current summer interns, you have been given a task by your supervisor. She wants you to write a general letter that she can use to reply to requests from college students seeking summer internships. She doesn’t have time to answer each one individually, and she doesn’t want to tell them all to just go to the Web site. She feels responsible to reply in a way that builds goodwill for Gap, which also operates Old Navy and Banana Republic. Your Task. Draft a reply to students seeking summer intern information. Go to the Gap Web site and study its offerings. Prepare a letter that describes the summer intern program, its requirements, and how to apply. Summarize some of the lengthy descriptions from the Web site. Use bulleted lists where appropriate. Since the letter may involve two pages, group similar information under side headings that improve its readability. Although your letter may become a form letter, address your draft to Lisa M. Hernandez, 493 Cesar Court, Walnut Creek, CA 94598. WEB

6.15 Direct Reply: River Rafting on the Web As the program chair for the campus Ski Club, you have been asked by the president to investigate river rafting. The Ski Club is an active organization, and its members want to schedule a summer activity. A majority favored rafting. Use a browser to search the Web for relevant information. Select five of the most promising Web sites offering rafting. If possible, print a copy of your findings.

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Your Task. Summarize your findings in a letter to Brian Krauss, Ski Club president. The next meeting of the Ski Club is May 8, but you think it would be a good idea if you could discuss your findings with Brian before the meeting. Write to Brian Krauss, SIU Ski Club, 303 Founders Hall, Carbondale, IL 62901.

WEB

6.16 Direct Reply: Krispy Kreme Helps Raise Funds Despite low-carb and low-fat diet fads, people still crave yummy doughnuts—especially the oh-so-light yet rich and scrumptious Krispy Kreme creations. As a customer service representative at Krispy Kreme in Winston-Salem, you have received a letter from a customer interested in using your doughnuts as a fundraising activity for Noah’s Ark Children’s Center (see Activity 6.7). Although much of the information is at the Web site, you must answer this customer’s letter personally. Your Task. Respond to Mrs. Tiffany Lane, Noah’s Ark Children’s Center, 4359 Blue Creek Road, Austin, TX 78746. You need to explain the three ways that Krispy Kreme helps organizations raise funds. Use the Krispy Kreme Web site to gather information, but summarize and paraphrase what you find. Compose a letter that not only provides information but also promotes your product. Consider using bullet points and paragraph headings to set off the major points.

WEB

6.17 Direct Reply: What Is a FICO Credit Rating Score? You were delighted to be selected as one of three interns for the prestigious architectural firm of Studio 1030. On the job you soon discovered that many of the firm’s architects worked independently and relied on the office staff for clerical and technical support. One of the firm’s retired architects, Harold M. Zimmerman, who lived in Benton Harbor, Michigan, was recently called back to the office because of the increasing demand for custom-designed homes. He was reluctant to return, saying that he’s been out of touch. But Studio 1030 owner Lars Pedersen said, “Look, Hal, we really need you to help out for six months or so. We’ve got a support staff that will pitch in to assist you, if necessary.” Almost immediately, Mr. Zimmerman realized that the entire world of mortgage finance had changed in the past decade. He heard about two clients who were eager to have plans drawn for new homes, but they could not qualify for building loans because of low FICO scores. Mr. Zimmerman confessed to the owner that he knew very little about FICO at all. What’s more, Mr. Zimmerman admitted that he was not comfortable doing Internet research. The owner decides that this would be a good internship project for you. He asks you to prepare a letter to Mr. Zimmerman, who prefers to work at home, replying to his request for information about FICO. Although you’ve vaguely heard of it, you could not immediately define what the term means. However, you recognize a good opportunity when you see it! Here’s a chance to learn something about credit ratings, and it’s also a good chance to show off your research and communication skills. Your Task. Go to http://www.myfico.com and study its information. (Use a search engine with the term “My Fico” if this URL fails.) What does “FICO” stand for? Who uses this term and why? What factors affect a FICO score? How can individuals improve their FICO scores? Summarize your findings in your own words in a well-organized, concise letter addressed to Mr. Harold Zimmerman, 2938 East Lakeview Avenue, Benton Harbor, MI 49022. Use bulleted lists for some of the information. Assume you are writing on Studio 1030 stationery.

INFOTRAC

6.18 Direct Reply: Restricting Internet Use on the Job As an intern at a large accounting firm, you are surprised at the broad range of expertise expected of the CPAs. In fact, you think they may go too far in trying to please their clients. One client recently asked Greg Moltiere, your boss, to help her out with an Internet use policy for her small company. Although Mr. Moltiere is not an expert in this area, he wants to assist this client, who is not at all computer savvy. She has a growing company, and many of her employees are using the Internet. She called Mr. Moltiere and asked him to help her out with general information about Internet use policies. The client asked these questions: Why does a company need an Internet use policy? What does an Internet policy generally cover? Where can I see a sample Internet policy? Do I really need such a policy for my company?

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Your Task. Mr. Moltiere asks you to use the Web to learn more about Internet use policies. For Greg Moltiere’s signature, draft a direct reply letter answering the client’s questions. His goal is to provide common information that encourages the client to develop an Internet policy for her company. Offer any additional material that you think will be useful. An InfoTrac search using the keywords “Internet Use Policy” will produce current information. Address the letter to Ms. Sherry Stratton, Stratton Convalescent Services, 2389 Three Rivers Boulevard, Poplar Bluff, MO 63901. WEB

6.19 Direct Reply: Describing Your Major A friend in a distant city is considering moving to your area for more education and training in your field. This individual wants to know about your program of study. Your Task. Write a letter describing a program in your field (or any field you wish to describe). What courses must be taken? Toward what degree, certificate, or employment position does this program lead? Why did you choose it? Would you recommend this program to your friend? How long does it take? Add any information you feel would be helpful. CRITICAL THINKING

6.20 Adjustment: A Matter of Mismeasurement As Sal Rodriguez, sales manager of Capitol Lumber and Hardware, you must respond to a problem. Your firm manufactures quality precut and custom-built doors and frames. You have received a letter dated May 25 from Candace Olmstead (described in Activity 6.12). Ms. Olmstead is an interior designer, and she complains that the oak French doors she recently ordered for a client were made to the wrong dimensions. Although they were the wrong size, she kept the doors and had them installed because her clients were without outside doors. However, her carpenter charged an extra $376 to install them. She claims that you should reimburse her for this amount, because your company was responsible for the error. You check her June 9 order and find that the order was filled correctly. In a telephone order, Ms. Olmstead requested doors that measured 11 feet 4 inches, and that’s what you sent. Now she says that the doors should have been 11 feet 8 inches. Your policy forbids refunds or returns on custom orders. Yet, you remember that in the early part of June, you had two new people working the phones taking orders. It’s possible that they did not hear or record the measurements correctly. You don’t know whether to grant this claim or refuse it. But you do know that you must look into the training of telephone order takers and be sure that they verify all custom order measurements. It might also be a good idea to have your craftsmen call a second time to confirm custom measurements. Ms. Olmstead is a successful interior designer and has provided Capitol Lumber and Hardware with a number of orders. You value her business but aren’t sure how to respond. Your Task. Decide how to treat this claim and then write to Candace Olmstead, Custom Designs, 903 Hazel Dell Parkway, Carmel, IN 46033. In your letter remind her that Capitol Lumber and Hardware has earned a reputation as the manufacturer of the finest wood doors and frames on the market. Your doors feature prime woods, and the craftsmanship is meticulous. The designs of your doors have won awards, and the engineering is ingenious. You have a new line of greenhouse windows that are available in three sizes. Include a brochure describing these windows.

6.21 Adjustment: Unhappy Customer Returns Desk As Patrick Dwiggens, operations manager, Premier Wood Products, it is your job to reply to customer claims; and today you must respond to Valerie Vickers (described in Activity 6.10). You are disturbed that she is returning the executive desk (Invoice No. 3499), but your policy is to comply with customer wishes. If she doesn’t want to keep the desk, you will certainly return the purchase price plus shipping charges. Desks are occasionally damaged in shipping, and this may explain the marred finish and the sticking drawers. You will try to persuade Ms. Vickers to give Premier Wood Products another chance. After all, your office furniture and other wood products are made from the finest hand-selected woods by master artisans. Since she is apparently furnishing her office, send her another catalog and invite her to look at the traditional conference desk on page 10-E. This is available with a matching credenza, file cabinets, and accessories. She might be interested in your furniture-leasing plan, which can produce substantial savings. Your Task. Write to Valerie Vickers, President, Financial Advisors, Inc., 203 Elm Street, Youngwood, PA 15697. In granting her claim, promise that you will personally examine any furniture she may order in the future.

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6.22 Adjustment: No Birds Will Be Harmed You didn’t want to do it. But guests were complaining about the pigeons that roost on the Scottsdale Hilton’s upper floors and tower. Pigeon droppings splattered sidewalks, furniture, and people. As the hotel manager, you had to take action. You called an exterminator, who recommended Avitrol. This drug, he promised, would disorient the birds, preventing them from finding their way back to the Hilton. The drugging, however, produced a result you didn’t expect: pigeons began dying. After a story hit the local newspapers, you began to receive complaints. The most vocal came from the Avian Affairs Coalition, a local bird-advocacy group. It said that the pigeons are really Mediterranean rock doves, the original “Dove of Peace” in European history and the same species the Bible said Noah originally released from his ark during the great flood. Activists claimed that Avitrol is a lethal drug causing birds, animals, and even people who ingest as little as 1/600th of a teaspoon to convulse and die lingering deaths of up to two hours. Repulsed at the pigeon deaths and the bad publicity, you stopped the use of Avitrol immediately. You are now considering installing wires that offer a mild, nonlethal electrical shock. These wires, installed at the Maricopa County Jail in downtown Phoenix for $50,000, keep thousands of pigeons from alighting and could save $1 million in extermination and cleanup costs over the life of the building. You are also considering installing netting that forms a transparent barrier, sealing areas against entry by birds. Your Task. Respond to Mrs. Deborah Leverette, 24 Canyon Lake Shore Drive, Spring Branch, TX 52319, a recent Scottsdale Hilton guest. She sent a letter condemning the pigeon poisoning and threatening to never return to the hotel unless it changed its policy. Try to regain the confidence of Mrs. Leverette and promote further business.8

6.23 Employment Recommendation: Recommending Yourself You are about to leave your present job. When you ask your boss for a letter of recommendation, to your surprise he tells you to write it yourself and then have him sign it. Actually, this is not an unusual practice today. Many businesspeople find that employees are very perceptive and accurate when they evaluate themselves. Your Task. Use specifics from a current or previous job. Describe your duties and skills. Be sure to support general characteristics with specific examples. In writing, speak of yourself in the third person (Lisa worked under my supervision during the summer of . . . . Lisa was in charge of . . . . I consider her to be reliable . . .).

6.24 Thanks for a Favor: Got the Job! Congratulations! You completed your degree and got a terrific job in your field. One of your instructors was especially helpful to you when you were a student. This instructor also wrote an effective letter of recommendation that was instrumental in helping you obtain your job. Your Task. Write a letter thanking your instructor. TEAM

6.25 Thanks for a Favor: Emerging World of Online Networking Your business communication class recently enjoyed a guest speaker, Diane Domeyer. She is executive director of OfficeTeam, the nation’s leading staff service specializing in the temporary placement of highly skilled administrative and office support professionals. Her topic was “The Emerging World of Online Networking.” At first, the class didn’t know what online networking involved. Ms. Domeyer discussed special networks that allow individuals to network with others in their career fields at Web sites such as Ryze.com and ContactSpan.com. The International Association of Administrative Professionals even has a bulletin board in the Member’s Place section of its Web site that allows members from around the world to connect. Your class learned about how to network online, including where to go, do’s and don’ts, etiquette, and having realistic expectations. Your Task. Individually or in groups, draft a thank-you letter to Ms. Diane Domeyer, Executive Director, Office Team, P.O. Box 310, Palo Alto, CA 94063. Use your imagination to fill in details.

6.26 Thanks for the Hospitality: Holiday Entertaining You and other members of your staff or organization were entertained at an elegant dinner during the winter holiday season.

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Your Task. Write a thank-you letter to your boss (supervisor, manager, vice president, president, or chief executive officer) or to the head of an organization to which you belong. Include specific details that will make your letter personal and sincere. TEAM

WEB

6.27 Sending Good Wishes: Personalizing Group Greeting Cards When a work colleague has a birthday, gets promoted, or retires, someone generally circulates a group greeting card. In the past it wasn’t a big deal. Office colleagues just signed their names and passed the store-bought card along to others. But the current trend is toward personalization with witty, oh-so-clever quips. And that presents a problem. What should you say—or not say? You know that people value special handwritten quips, but you realize that you’re not particularly original and you don’t have a store of “bon mots” (clever sayings, witticisms). You’re tired of the old standbys, such as This place won’t be the same without you and You’re only as old as you feel. Your Task. To be prepared for the next greeting card that lands on your desk at work, you decide to work with some friends to make a list of remarks appropriate for business occasions. Use the Web to research witty sayings appropriate for promotions, birthdays, births, weddings, illnesses, or personal losses. Use a search term such as “Birthday Sayings,” “Retirement Quotes,” or “Cool Sayings.” You may decide to assign each category (birthday, retirement, promotion, and so forth) to a separate team. Submit the best sayings in a memo to your instructor.

6.28 Responding to Good Wishes: Saying Thank You Your Task. Write a short note thanking a friend who sent you good wishes when you recently completed your degree.

6.29 Extending Sympathy: To a Spouse Your Task. Imagine that a coworker was killed in an automobile accident. Write a letter of sympathy to his or her spouse.

VIDEO RESOURCES Video Library 2, Bridging the Gap Social Responsibility and Communication: Ben & Jerry’s. In an exciting inside look, you see managers discussing six factors that determine Ben & Jerry’s continuing success. Toward the end of the video, you’ll listen in on a discussion of a new packaging material made with unbleached paper. As a socially responsible company, Ben & Jerry’s wanted to move away from ice cream packages made from bleached papers. Bleaching requires chlorine, a substance that contains dioxin, which is known to cause cancer, genetic and reproductive defects, and learning disabilities. In producing paper, pulp mills using chlorine are also adding to dioxin contamination of waterways. After much research, Ben & Jerry’s found a chlorine-free, unbleached paperboard for its packages. That was the good news. The bad news is that the inside of the package is now brown. Assume you’ve been hired at Ben & Jerry’s to help answer incoming letters. Although you’re fairly new, your boss gives you a letter from an unhappy customer. This customer opened a pint of Ben & Jerry’s “World’s Best

Vanilla” and then threw it out. After seeing the brown inner lid, he decided that his pint must have been used for chocolate before it was used for vanilla. Or, he said, “the entire pint has gone bad and somehow turned the sides brown.” Whatever the reason, he wasn’t taking any chances. He wants his money back. Your Task. Write a letter that explains the brown carton, justifies the reason for using it, and retains the customer’s business. Address the letter to Mr. Cecil Hamm, 1608 South McKenna, Poteau, OK 74954. Video Library 2, Bridging the Gap MeetingsAmerica. In Salt Lake City, MeetingsAmerica arranges conferences and conventions for visitors to the city. Businesses planning big conferences often outsource arrangements such as registration, ground transportation, special events, and other details. In this video you’ll learn how MeetingsAmerica operates as a destination meeting organization. Your instructor may provide a special writing activity after you see this video.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHECKUP—6 Commas 1 Review the Grammar Review section of the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook Sections 2.01–2.04. Then study each of the following statements and insert necessary commas. In the space provided write the number of commas that you add; write 0 if no commas are needed. Also record the number of the G/M principle illustrated. When you finish, compare your responses with those shown at the end of the book. If your answers differ, study carefully the principles shown in parentheses. 2

(2.01)

Example

Sometimes we are so engrossed in our job our family or a relationship that we forget about ourselves.

1. We think on the other hand that camera phones are not a good idea in offices. 2. We are certain Mr. Nosrati that your UPS delivery will arrive before 11 a.m. 3. Our software helps your employees be more creative collaborative and productive in team projects. 4. The spring leadership conference will take place April 3 at the South Beach Marriott Hotel beginning at 2 p.m. 5. Needless to say we were depressed at the stock market drop. 6. Amazon closed distribution centers in McDonough Georgia and Grand Forks North Dakota to save money. 7. By the way the best things in life aren’t things. 8. The last council meeting that was recorded in the minutes was held on March 23 2005 in Phoenix. 9. Mr. Maslow Mrs. Kim and Ms. Garcia were all promoted. 10. The shipment addressed to McMahon Industries 6920 Main Street Detroit MI 48201 arrived two weeks late. 11. The manager feels nevertheless that the support of all employees is critical. 12. Successful teams encourage open communication resolve conflict fairly and promote interaction among members. 13. Our team works hard to retain your business Mr. Sherman. 14. President Carson however thinks that all staff members need training. 15. Rachel moved from Hartford Connecticut to San Diego California because she was offered a better job.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHALLENGE—6 The following letter has faults in grammar, punctuation, spelling, capitalization, number form, repetition, wordiness, and other problems. Correct the errors with standard proofreading marks (see Appendix B) or revise the message online at Guffey Xtra!

January 20, 200x Mr. Jason R. Weingartner 3201 Rose Avenue Mar Vista, CA 90066 Dear Mr. Weingartner: SUBJECT:

Your February 5th Letter Requesting Information About New All Natural Products

We have received your letter of February 5 in which you inquire about our all-natural products. Needless to say, we are pleased to be able to answer in the affirmative. Yes, our new line of freeze dried back packing foods meet the needs of older adults and young people as well. You asked a number of questions, and here are answers to you’re questions about our products. • Our all natural foods contains no preservatives, sugars or additives. The inclosed list of dinner items tell what foods are cholesterol-, fat-, and salt-free. • Large orders recieve a five percent discount when they’re placed direct with Outfitters, Inc. You can also purchase our products at Malibu Sports Center, 19605 Pacific Coast Highway Malibu CA, 90265. • Outfitters, Inc., food products are made in our sanitary kitchens which I personally supervise. The foods are flash froze in a patented vacum process that retain freshness, texture and taste. • Outfitters, Inc., food products are made from choice ingredients that combines good taste and healful quality. • Our foods stay fresh, and tasty for up to 18 months. Mr. Weingartner I started Outfitters, Inc., five years ago because of the fact that discerning back packers rejected typical camping fare. Its a great pleasure to be able at this point in time to share my custom meals with back packers like you. I hope you’ll enjoy the enclosed sample meal, “Saturday Night on the Trail” is a fourcoarse meal complete with fruit candys and elegant appetizers. Please call me personally at (213) 459-3342 to place an order, or to ask other questions about my backpacking food products. Sincerely,

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CAREER SKILLS DR. GUFFEY’S GUIDE TO BUSINESS ETIQUETTE AND WORKPLACE MANNERS Etiquette, civility, and goodwill efforts may seem out of place in today’s fast-paced, high-tech offices. Yet, etiquette and courtesy are more important than ever if diverse employees are to be able to work cooperatively and maximize productivity and workflow. Many organizations recognize that good manners are good for business. Some colleges and universities offer management programs that include a short course in manners. Companies are also conducting manners seminars for trainee and veteran managers. Why is politeness regaining legitimacy as a leadership tool? Primarily because courtesy works. Good manners convey a positive image of an organization. People like to do business with people who show respect and treat others civilly. People also like to work in a pleasant environment. Considering how much time is spent at work, doesn’t it make sense to prefer an agreeable environment to one that is rude and uncivil? Etiquette is more about attitude than about formal rules of behavior. That attitude is a desire to show others consideration and respect. It includes a desire to make others feel comfortable. You don’t have to become an etiquette nut, but you might need to polish your social competencies a little to be an effective businessperson today. You can brush up your workplace etiquette skills online at your companion Web site http://guffey.swlearning.com. Look for “Dr. Guffey’s Guide to Business Etiquette and Workplace Manners.” Of interest to both workplace newcomers and veterans, this guide covers the following topics: Professional Image Introductions and Greetings Networking Manners General Workplace Manners Coping With Cubicles Interacting With Superiors Managers’ Manners Business Meetings Business Gifts

Business Cards Dealing With Angry Customers Telephone Manners Cell Phone Etiquette E-Mail Etiquette Gender-Free Etiquette Business Dining Avoiding Social Blunders When Abroad

To gauge your current level of knowledge of business etiquette, take the preview quiz at the student Web site. Then, study all 17 business etiquette topics. These easyto-read topics are arranged in bulleted lists of Dos and Don’ts. After you complete this etiquette module, your instructor may test your comprehension by giving a series of posttests. Career Application. You’ve been a manager at OfficeTemps, a company specializing in employment placement and human resources information, for a long time. But you’ve never received a letter like this before. A reporter preparing an article for a national news organization writes to you requesting information about how workplace etiquette is changing in today’s high-tech environment. Her letter lists the following questions: • • • •

Are etiquette and workplace manners still important in today’s fast-paced Information Age work environment? Why or why not? Do today’s workers need help in developing good business manners? Why or why not? Are the rules of office conduct changing? If so, how? What advice can you give about gender-free etiquette?

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•

171

What special manners do people working in shared workspaces need to observe?

The reporter asks for any other information you can share with her regarding her topic, “Information Age Etiquette.”

Your Task In teams or individually, prepare an information response letter addressed to Ms. Lindsey Ann Evans, National Press Association, 443 Riverside Drive, New York, NY 10024. Use the data you learned in this workshop. Conduct additional Web research if you wish. Remember that you will be quoted in her newspaper article, so make it interesting!

PERSUASIVE MESSAGES Facts and figures alone

OBJECTIVES

will never convince

• Outline the components of a writing plan for persuasive requests including the opening, body, and closing.

anyone. If you can’t connect your facts to the

• Write effective persuasive messages that request favors and action.

dreams of the client, then

• Write effective persuasive messages within organizations.

all the statistics and charts

• Write effective persuasive messages that make claims and request adjustments.

in the world won’t make

• Outline the components of a writing plan for sales letters including gaining attention, building interest, reducing resistance, and motivating action.

any impression.

”

• Implement special techniques in writing online sales messages.

René Nourse, Vice President, Investments, Prudential Securities Incorporated

The ability to persuade is a primary factor in personal and business success.

The ability to persuade is a key factor in the success you achieve in your business messages, in your career, and in your interpersonal relations. Persuasive individuals, such as René Nourse at Prudential Securities Incorporated, are those who present convincing arguments that influence or win over others. René Nourse persuades people to invest in stocks and bonds. She knows that facts and figures alone are not convincing; they must be connected to people’s desires and needs. Applying this persuasive technique and many others can help you become a persuasive communicator. Because their ideas generally prevail, persuasive individuals become decision makers—managers, executives, and entrepreneurs. This chapter will examine techniques for presenting ideas persuasively, whether in your career or in your personal life.

PERSUASIVE REQUESTS Use persuasion when you must change attitudes or produce action.

Persuasion is necessary when resistance is anticipated or when ideas require preparation before they can be presented effectively. For example, let’s say you bought a new car and the transmission repeatedly required servicing. When you finally got tired of taking it in for repair, you decided to write to the car manufacturer’s district

PHOTOS: © PHOTODISC COLLECTION/GETTY IMAGES; © DIGITAL VISION/ GETTY IMAGES; © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS

“

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office asking that the company install a new transmission in your car. You knew that your request would be resisted. You had to convince the manufacturer that replacement, not repair, is needed. Direct claim letters, such as those you wrote in Chapter 6, are straightforward. Persuasive requests, on the other hand, are generally more effective when they are indirect. Reasons and explanations should precede the main idea. To overcome possible resistance, the writer lays a logical foundation before delivering the request. A writing plan for a persuasive request requires deliberate development.

Writing Plan for a Persuasive Request

• •

The indirect pattern is appropriate when requesting favors and action, persuading within organizations, and making claims or requesting adjustments.

•

Opening: Obtain the reader’s attention and interest. Describe a problem, state something unexpected, suggest reader benefits, offer praise or compliments, or ask a stimulating question. Body: Build interest. Explain logically and concisely the purpose of the request. Prove its merit. Use facts, statistics, expert opinion, examples, specific details, and direct and indirect benefits. Reduce resistance. Anticipate objections, offer counterarguments, establish credibility, demonstrate competence, and show the value of your proposal. Closing: Motivate action. Ask for a particular action. Make the action easy to take. Show courtesy, respect, and gratitude.

In this chapter you’ll learn to apply the preceding writing plan to messages that (1) request favors and action, (2) persuade within organizations, and (3) make claims and request adjustments.

Requesting Favors and Action

People are more likely to grant requests if they see direct or indirect benefits to themselves.

Persuading someone to do something that largely benefits you is not easy. Fortunately, many individuals and companies are willing to grant requests for time, money, information, special privileges, and cooperation. They grant these favors for a variety of reasons. They may just happen to be interested in your project, or they may see goodwill potential for themselves. Often, though, they comply because they see that others will benefit from the request. Professionals sometimes feel obligated to contribute their time or expertise to “pay their dues.” You may find that you have few direct benefits to offer in your persuasion. Instead, you’ll be focusing on indirect benefits, as the writer does in Figure 7.1. In asking an individual to speak before a restaurant industry meeting, the writer has little to offer as a direct benefit other than a $200 honorarium. But indirectly, the writer offers

Whether you are asking for favors or action, the ability to persuade is critical in personal and business success. Nancy Loome, representing a Clinton, Mississippi, PTA, used all her persuasive skills to convince lawmakers to maintain current funding levels for K–12 schools.

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FIGURE 7.1

Persuasive Favor Request

Corresponding at Work

before revision Dear Ms. Daugherty: Would you be willing to speak to the members of the DC chapter of the National Restaurant Alliance? We hate to ask such a busy person, but we hoped you might be free on June 10 and would be able to come down from Philadelphia to join us in Washington.

Fails to pique interest; provides easy excuse

You would address our members on the topic of avoiding the seven cardinal sins in food service. This is a topic we understand you presented at your local chapter with some success. Although we can offer you only a $200 honorarium, we will also include dinner.

Does not promote direct and indirect benefits

Our group is informal, but I’m sure they would be interested in a 45-minute speech. Please let me know if you can join us at 7 p.m. at the Red Sage restaurant in Washington.

Does not anticipate objections; fails to make it easy to respond

after revision NATIONAL RESTAURANT ALLIANCE 1250 17th Street, Washington, DC 20034

www.restaurant.com

(202) 351-4300

February 23, 200x Ms. Nancy J. Daugherty Operations Manager Roxbury Hotels and Restaurants, Inc. 303 Lombard Plaza Philadelphia, PA 19146

Piques reader’s interest with praise

Dear Ms. Daugherty: News of the excellent presentation you made at your local chapter of the National Restaurant Alliance has reached us here in Washington, and we are very impressed. Running a successful restaurant operation, as we all know, is tough even on a good day. The intense pace is frenzied, from scrubbing the vegetables early in the morning to latching the front door at day's end. In all this haste, it's easy to lapse into food service faults that can land an operation in big trouble. Your presentation focusing on seven cardinal sins in the food service industry certainly captured our attention.

Notes indirect benefit Notes direct benefit Offsets reluctance by making the talk informal and easy to organize Makes it easy to accept

Gains attention

Builds interest

The DC chapter of the National Restaurant Alliance asked me to invite you to be the featured speaker at our June 10 dinner on the topic of "Avoiding the Seven Cardinal Sins in Food Service." By sharing your expertise, you can help other restaurant operators recognize and prevent potential problems involving discrimination, workplace safety, hiring practices, and so forth. Although we can offer you only a small honorarium of $200 plus your travel expenses, we can promise you a big audience of enthusiastic restaurateurs eager to hear your presentation. Our relaxed group doesn't expect a formal address; they are most interested in hearing about best practices and solutions to prospective problems. To make your talk easy to organize, I've enclosed a list of questions our members submitted. Most talks are about 45 minutes long. Can we count on you to join us for dinner at 7 p.m. June 10 at the Red Sage restaurant in Washington? Just call me at (202) 351-1220 before March 15 to make arrangements. Sincerely,

Bronna McNeeley Program Chair, NRA BMN:grw Enclosure

Reduces resistance

Motivates action

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A combination of appeals— professional, egoistic, and monetary—can be effective in persuasive requests.

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175

enticements such as an enthusiastic audience and a chance to help other restaurant owners prevent food service problems. The hurriedly written first version of the request suffers from many faults. It fails to pique the interest of the reader in the opening. It also provides an easy excuse for Ms. Daugherty to refuse (hate to ask such a busy person). The body fails to give her any incentive to accept the invitation. The letter also does not anticipate objections and fails to suggest counterarguments. Finally, the closing doesn’t supply a telephone number or e-mail address for an easy response. In the revised version, the writer gains attention with praise for a presentation Ms. Daugherty made. The letter builds interest with a number of appeals. The primary appeal is to the reader’s desire to serve the restaurant industry, although a receptive audience and an opportunity to serve as an expert have a certain ego appeal as well. Together, these appeals—professional, egoistic, and monetary—make a persuasive argument rich and effective. The writer also anticipates objections and counters them by telling Ms. Daugherty that the talk is informal. The writer provides a list of questions so that the speaker can organize her talk more easily. The closing motivates action and makes acceptance as simple as a telephone call.

Persuading Within Organizations

Internal persuasive memos present honest arguments detailing specific reader benefits.

Persuasive memos sent internally are often effective if they show how costs are saved.

Instructions or directives moving downward from superiors to subordinates usually require little persuasion. Employees expect to be directed in how to perform their jobs. These messages (such as information about procedures, equipment, or customer service) follow the direct pattern, with the purpose immediately stated. However, employees are sometimes asked to perform in a capacity outside their work roles or to accept changes that are not in their best interests (such as pay cuts, job transfers, or reduced benefits). In these instances, a persuasive memo using the indirect pattern may be most effective. The goal is not to manipulate employees or to seduce them with trickery. Rather, the goal is to present a strong but honest argument, emphasizing points that are important to the receiver. In business, honesty is not just the best policy—it’s the only policy. People see right through puffery and misrepresentation. For this reason, the indirect pattern is effective only when supported by accurate, honest evidence. Another form of persuasion within organizations centers on suggestions made by subordinates. Convincing management to adopt a procedure or invest in a product or new equipment generally requires skillful communication. Managers are just as resistant to change as others are. Providing evidence is critical when subordinates submit recommendations to their bosses. “The key to making a request of a superior,” advised communication consultant Patricia Buhler, “is to know your needs and have documentation [facts, figures, evidence].” Another important factor is moderation. “Going in and asking for the world [right] off the cuff is most likely going to elicit a negative response,” she added.2 Equally important is focusing on the receiver’s needs. How can you make your suggestion appealing to the receiver? In Figure 7.2 you see the draft copy of a persuasive memo that needs revision. Marketing Manager Mona Massey wants her boss to authorize the purchase of a second copy machine. She was so excited about a good deal that she wrote her memo quickly and didn’t spend much time organizing it. Before sending it, though, she reconsidered. Although she thought that her request was totally reasonable, she realized that her memo failed to present a well-organized “dollars-and-cents” case. She also recognized that if she spent a little more time developing her persuasive argument, she had a better chance of gaining approval. Notice that Mona’s revision is longer. But it’s far more effective. A successful persuasive message will typically take more space than a direct message because proving a case requires evidence. Mona’s revised memo includes a subject line that tells the purpose of the memo without disclosing the actual request. By delaying the request until she’s had a chance to describe the problem and discuss a solution, Mona prevents the reader’s premature rejection.

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FIGURE 7.2

Persuasive Memo

Corresponding at Work

before revision TO:

Kenneth Richardson, Vice President

Begins poorly with reminder of past negative feelings

Although you’ve opposed the purchase of additional copiers in the past, I think I’ve found a great deal on a copier that’s just too good to pass up, but we must act before May 1. Copy City has reconditioned copiers that are practically being given away. If we move fast, they will provide many free incentives—like a free copier stand, free starter supplies, free delivery, and free installation.

Sounds high-pressured

Fails to compare costs and emphasize savings in logical, coherent presentation

We must find a way to reduce copier costs in my department. Our current copier can’t keep up with our demand. We’re sending secretaries or sales reps to Copy Quick for an average of 10,000 copies a month. These copies cost 7 cents a page and waste a lot of time. We’re making at least eight trips a week, adding up to a considerable expense in travel time and copy costs. Please give this matter your immediate attention and get back to me as soon as possible. We don’t want to miss this great deal.

Summarizes problem

Does not request or motivate specific action

after revision

DATE:

April 18, 200x

TO:

Kenneth Richardson, Vice President

FROM:

Mona Massey, Marketing

SUBJECT:

Saving Time and Money on Copying

We’re losing money on our current copy services and wasting the time of employees as well. Because our Canon copier is in use constantly, we find it increasingly necessary to send major jobs out to Copy Quick. Just take a look at how much we spend each month for outside copy service: Copy Costs: Outside Service 10,000 copies/month made at Copy Quick Salary costs for assistants to make 32 trips to drop off originals and pick up copies Total

Uses headings and columns for easy comparison

$700.00 384.00 $1,084.00

When sales reps make the trips, the costs are even greater. Because this expense must be reduced, I’ve been considering alternatives. New copiers with collating capability and automatic multidrawer paper feeding are very expensive. But reconditioned copiers with all the features we need are available—and at attractive prices and terms. From Copy City we can get a fully remanufactured copier that is guaranteed to work like new. After we make an initial payment of $219, our monthly costs would look like this: Copy Costs: Remanufactured Copier Paper supplies for 10,000 copies $130.00 Toner and copy supplies 95.00 Labor of assistants to make copies 130.00 Monthly financing charge for copier (purchase price of $1,105 amortized at 10% with 29 payments) 34.52 Total $389.52

Provides more benefits

Makes it easy to grant approval

As you can see, a remanufactured copier saves us nearly $700 per month. For a limited time Copy City is offering a free 15-day trial offer, a free copier stand (worth $165), free starter supplies, and free delivery and installation. We have office space available, and my staff is eager to add a second machine. Call me at Ext. 630 if you have questions. This copier is such a good opportunity that I’ve attached a purchase requisition authorizing the agreement with Copy City. With your approval before May 1, we can have our machine by May 10 and start saving time and nearly $700 every month. Fast action will also take advantage of Copy City’s free start-up incentives. Attachment

Describes topic without revealing request

Proves credibility of request with facts and figures

Highlights most important benefit Counters possible resistance Repeats main benefit with motivation to act quickly

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When selling an idea to management, writers often are successful if they make a strong case for saving money.

The strength of this revision, though, is in the clear presentation of comparison figures showing how much money can be saved by purchasing a remanufactured copier. Although the organization pattern is not obvious, the revised memo begins with an attention-getter (frank description of problem), builds interest (with easy-toread facts and figures), provides benefits, and reduces resistance. Notice that the conclusion tells what action is to be taken, makes it easy to respond, and repeats the main benefit to motivate action.

Making Claims and Requesting Adjustments (Complaint Letters)

Effective claim/complaint letters make reasonable requests backed by solid evidence.

Persuasive claim and adjustment letters generally focus on damaged products, mistaken billing, inaccurate shipments, warranty problems, return policies, insurance snafus, faulty merchandise, and so on. The direct pattern is usually best for requesting straightforward adjustments (see Chapter 6). When you feel your request is justified and will be granted, the direct strategy is most efficient. But if a past request has been refused or ignored or if you anticipate reluctance, then the indirect pattern is appropriate. In a sense, a claim is a complaint letter. Someone is complaining about something that went wrong. Some complaint letters just vent anger; the writers are mad, and they want to tell someone about it. If the goal, however, is to change something (and why bother to write except to motivate change?), then persuasion is necessary. Effective claim letters make a reasonable claim, present a logical case with clear facts, and adopt a moderate tone. Anger and emotion are not effective persuaders.

LOGICAL DEVELOPMENT Strive for logical development in a claim letter. You might open with sincere praise, an objective statement of the problem, a point of agreement, or a quick review of what you have done to resolve the problem. Then you can explain precisely what happened or why your claim is legitimate. Don’t provide a blow-by-blow chronology of details; just hit the highlights. Be sure to enclose copies of relevant invoices, shipping orders, warranties, and payments. Close with a clear statement of what you want done: refund, replacement, credit to your account, or other action. Be sure to think through the possibilities and make your request reasonable.

MODERATE TONE Claim letters should adopt a moderate tone, appeal to the receiver’s sense of responsibility, and specify needed actions.

The tone of the letter is important. Don’t suggest that the receiver intentionally deceived you or intentionally created the problem. Rather, appeal to the receiver’s sense of responsibility and pride in its good name. Calmly express your disappointment in view of your high expectations of the product and of the company. Communicating your feelings, without rancor, is often your strongest appeal. If at all possible, address your complaint letter to a specific person. If you truly want a problem addressed, take the time to call the organization or search its Web site. Find out who should be addressed. Who should be informed about your issue? Who has the authority to act? Addressing a specific person is more likely to generate action than addressing a generic customer service department. Whether you address an individual or a department, the tone of your message should, of course, be moderate. Merilee Knapp’s letter, shown in Figure 7.3, follows the persuasive pattern. She wants to return three answering machines. Notice that she addressed her letter to the marketing manager, whose name she learned by calling the company. Notice, too, her positive opening; her calm, well-documented claims; and her request for specific action.

178 FIGURE 7.3

Unit 3

Corresponding at Work

Claim Request (Complaint Letter)

CHAMPION AUTOMOTIVES 309 Porterville Plaza, Lansing, Michigan 48914 (517) 690-3500 www.championauto.com

November 29, 200x

Mr. Jeffrey Thomas Vice President Marketing and Product Development Raytronic Electronics 594 Stanton Street Mobile, AL 36617

Addresses an individual

Dear Mr. Thomas: Subject: Code-A-Phone Model 100S Your Code-A-Phone Model 100S answering unit came well recommended. We liked our neighbor’s unit so well we purchased three for different departments in our business.

Describes problem calmly

Begins with compliment

After the three units were unpacked and installed, we discovered a problem. Apparently our office fluorescent lighting interferes with the electronics in these units. When the lights are on, heavy static interrupts every telephone call. When the lights are off, the static disappears. We can’t replace the fluorescent lights; thus we tried to return the Code-APhones to the place of purchase (Office Mart, 2560 Haslett Avenue, Lansing, MI 48901). A salesperson inspected the units and said they could not be returned since they were not defective and they had been used.

Suggests responsibility Stresses disappointment

Appeals to company’s desire to preserve good reputation

Because the descriptive literature and instructions for the Code-A-Phones say nothing about avoiding use in rooms with fluorescent lighting, we expected no trouble. We were quite disappointed that this well-engineered unit—with its time/date stamp, room monitor, and auto-dial features—failed to perform as we hoped it would. If you have a model with similar features that would work in our offices, give me a call. Otherwise, please authorize the return of these units and refund the purchase price of $519.45 (see enclosed invoice). We’re confident that a manufacturer with your reputation for excellent products and service will want to resolve this matter quickly.

Tells what action to take

Sincerely,

Merilee Knapp, President MK:ett Enclosure

Tips for Making Claims and Complaints • Begin with a compliment, point of agreement, statement of the problem, or brief review of action you have taken to resolve the problem. • Provide identifying data. • Prove that your claim is valid; explain why the receiver is responsible. • Enclose document copies supporting your claim. • Appeal to the receiver’s fairness, ethical and legal responsibilities, and desire for customer satisfaction. • Describe your feelings and your disappointment. • Avoid sounding angry, emotional, or irrational. • Close by telling exactly what you want done.

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CRAFTING WINNING SALES LETTERS Traditional direct-mail marketing uses land mail; electronic marketing uses e-mail, Web sites, and fax.

Traditional hard-copy sales letters are still the most personal and powerful form of advertising.

Learning to write sales letters helps you sell yourself as well as become a smarter consumer.

Sales messages use persuasion to promote specific products and services. In our coverage we will be most concerned with sales messages delivered by mail. Many of the concepts you will learn about sales persuasion, however, can be applied to radio and TV advertising, as well as print, online, and wireless media. Smart companies strive to develop a balanced approach to their overall marketing strategy, including both online e-marketing and direct mail when appropriate. Toward the end of this chapter, you will learn about preparing online sales messages. However, we’ll give most emphasis to traditional direct-mail campaigns featuring letters. Sellers feel that “even with all the new media we have available today, a letter remains one of the most powerful ways to make sales, generate leads, boost retail traffic, and solicit donations.”3 Hard-copy sales letters are still recognized as the most “personal, one-to-one form of advertising there is.”4 Sales letters are generally part of a package that may contain a brochure, price list, illustrations, testimonials, and other persuasive appeals. Professionals who specialize in traditional direct-mail services have made a science of analyzing a market, developing an effective mailing list, studying the product, preparing a sophisticated campaign aimed at a target audience, and motivating the reader to act. You’ve probably received many direct-mail packages, often called “junk mail.” We’re most concerned here with the sales letter: its strategy, organization, and evidence. Because sales letters are usually written by specialists, you may never write one on the job. Why, then, learn how to write a sales letter? In many ways, every letter we create is a form of sales letter. We sell our ideas, our organizations, and ourselves. Learning the techniques of sales writing will help you be more successful in any communication that requires persuasion and promotion. Furthermore, you’ll recognize sales strategies, thus enabling you to become a more perceptive consumer of ideas, products, and services.

Planning Sales Messages Your primary goal in writing a sales message is to get someone to devote a few moments of attention to it.5 You may be promoting a product, a service, an idea, or yourself. In each case the most effective messages will follow a writing plan. This is the same recipe we studied earlier, but the ingredients are different.

Writing Plan for a Sales Letter

• • •

Opening: Gain attention. Offer something valuable; promise a benefit to the reader; ask a question; or provide a quotation, fact, product feature, testimonial, startling statement, or personalized action setting. Body: Build interest. Describe central selling points and make rational and emotional appeals. Reduce resistance. Use testimonials, money-back guarantees, free samples, performance tests, or other techniques. Closing: Motivate action. Offer a gift, promise an incentive, limit the offer, set a deadline, or guarantee satisfaction.

GAINING ATTENTION Openers for sales messages should be brief, honest, relevant, and provocative.

One of the most critical elements of a sales letter is its opening paragraph. This opener should be short (one to five lines), honest, relevant, and stimulating. Marketing pros have found that eye-catching typographical arrangements or provocative messages, such as the following, can hook a reader’s attention: • Offer: A free trip to Hawaii is just the beginning! • Promise a benefit: Now you can raise your sales income by 50 percent or even more with the proven techniques found in . . . . • Question: Do you yearn for an honest, fulfilling relationship? • Quotation or proverb: Necessity is the mother of invention.

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When Subway began promoting its low-fat sandwiches as healthier options for takeouteating Americans, it gained attention by showing Lanette Kovach, its chief nutritionist, with a platter of mouth-watering menu options. The first step in developing a sales or persuasive message is gaining attention and shaping the message to the reader’s interests.

•

Fact: The Greenland Eskimos ate more fat than anyone in the world. And yet . . .

•

Product feature: Volvo’s snazzy new convertible ensures your safety with a roll

they had virtually no heart disease.

• • •

bar that pops out when the car tips 40 degrees to the side. Testimonial: “The Journal surprises, amuses, investigates, and most of all educates.” (The New Republic commenting on The Wall Street Journal) Startling statement: Let the poor and hungry feed themselves! For just $100 they can. Personalized action setting: It’s 4:30 p.m. and you’ve got to make a decision. You need everybody’s opinion, no matter where they are. Before you pick up your phone to call them one at a time, pick up this card: AT&T Teleconference Services.

Other openings calculated to capture attention might include a solution to a problem, an anecdote, a personalized statement using the receiver’s name, or a relevant current event. BUILDING INTEREST Build interest by describing the product or service and making rational or emotional appeals.

In this phase of your sales message, you should describe clearly the product or service. In simple language emphasize the central selling points that you identified during your prewriting analysis. Those selling points can be developed using rational or emotional appeals. Rational appeals are associated with reason and intellect. They translate selling points into references to making or saving money, increasing efficiency, or making the best use of resources. In general, rational appeals are appropriate when a product is expensive; long-lasting; or important to health, security, and financial success. Emotional appeals relate to status, ego, and sensual feelings. Appealing to the emotions is sometimes effective when a product is inexpensive, short-lived, or nonessential. Many clever sales messages, however, combine emotional and rational strategies for a dual appeal. Consider these examples:

Rational appeals focus on making or saving money, increasing efficiency, or making good use of resources.

Rational Appeal

Emotional appeals focus on status, ego, and sensual feelings.

Emotional Appeal

You can buy the things you need and want, pay household bills, pay off higher-cost loans and credit cards—as soon as you’re approved and your Credit-Line account is opened. Leave the urban bustle behind and escape to sun-soaked Bermuda! To recharge your batteries with an injection of sun and surf, all you need is your bathing suit, a little suntan lotion, and your Credit-Line card.

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To capture attention in its sales messages for Pampers diapers, Procter & Gamble may show appealing babies. But the copy develops an emotional yet rational appeal when it talks about the development of babies when they get a good night’s sleep from having a drier diaper than that sold by the competition. “This is probably the biggest challenge for our advertising––how you move beyond functional advertising to emotional resonance,” reports manager Austin Lally.

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Dual Appeal New Credit-Line cardholders are immediately eligible for a $100 travel certificate and additional discounts at fun-filled resorts. Save up to 40 percent while lying on a beach in picturesque, sun-soaked Bermuda, the year-round resort island. A physical description of your product is not enough, however. Zig Ziglar, thought by some to be America’s greatest salesperson, pointed out that no matter how well you know your product, no one is persuaded by cold, hard facts alone. In the end, he contended, “People buy because of the product benefits.”6 Your job is to translate those cold facts into warm feelings and reader benefits. Let’s say a sales letter promotes a hand cream made with aloe and cocoa butter extracts, along with Vitamin A. Those facts become, “Nature’s hand helpers—including soothing aloe and cocoa extracts, along with firming Vitamin A—form invisible gloves that protect your sensitive skin against the hardships of work, harsh detergents, and constant environmental assaults.” REDUCING RESISTANCE Marketing pros use a number of techniques to overcome resistance and build desire. • Testimonials: “I learned so much in your language courses that I began to dream in French.”—Holly Franker, Beaumont, Texas

• • • •

Names of satisfied users (with permission, of course): Enclosed is a partial list of private pilots who enthusiastically subscribe to our service. Money-back guarantee or warranty: We offer the longest warranties in the business—all parts and service on-site for two years! Free trial or sample: We’re so confident that you’ll like our new accounting program that we want you to try it absolutely free. Performance tests, polls, or awards: Our TP-3000 was named Best Web Phone, and Etown.com voted it Cell Phone of the Year.

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In addition, you need to anticipate objections and questions the receiver may have. When possible, translate these objections into selling points (If you’re worried about training your staff members on the new software, remember that our offer includes $1,000 of on-site one-on-one instruction). Be sure, of course that your claims are accurate and do not stretch the truth. To learn more about what is legal in sales messages, see the Communication Workshop at the end of this chapter. When price is an obstacle, consider these suggestions: • Delay mentioning price until after you’ve created a desire for the product. • Show the price in small units, such as the price per issue of a magazine. • Demonstrate how the reader saves money by, for instance, subscribing for two or three years. • Compare your prices with those of a competitor. MOTIVATING ACTION Techniques for motivating action include offering a gift or incentive, limiting an offer, and guaranteeing satisfaction.

All the effort put into a sales message is wasted if the reader fails to act. To make it easy for readers to act, you can provide a reply card, a stamped and preaddressed envelope, a toll-free telephone number, an easy Web site, or a promise of a followup call. Because readers often need an extra push, consider including additional motivators, such as the following: • Offer a gift: You’ll receive a free cell phone with the purchase of any new car. • Promise an incentive: With every new, paid subscription, we’ll plant a tree in one of America’s Heritage Forests. • Limit the offer: Only the first 100 customers receive free checks. • Set a deadline: You must act before June 1 to get these low prices. • Guarantee satisfaction: We’ll return your full payment if you’re not entirely satisfied—no questions asked. The final paragraph of the sales letter carries the punch line. This is where you tell readers what you want done and give them reasons for doing it. Most sales letters also include postscripts because they make irresistible reading. Even readers who might skim over or bypass paragraphs are drawn to a P.S. Therefore, use a postscript to reveal your strongest motivator, to add a special inducement for a quick response, or to reemphasize a central selling point.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER Because direct mail is an expensive way to advertise, messages should present complete information with a personalized tone for specific audiences.

Sales letters are a preferred marketing medium because they can be personalized, directed to target audiences, and filled with a more complete message than other advertising media. But direct mail is expensive. That’s why the total sales message is crafted so painstakingly. Let’s examine a sales letter, shown in Figure 7.4, addressed to a target group of small-business owners. To sell the new magazine Small Business Monthly, the letter incorporates all four components of an effective persuasive message. Notice that the personalized action-setting opener places the reader in a familiar situation (getting into an elevator) and draws an analogy between failing to reach the top floor and failing to achieve a business goal. The writer develops a rational central selling point (a magazine that provides valuable information for a growing small business) and repeats this selling point in all the components of the letter. Notice, too, how a testimonial from a small-business executive lends support to the sales message, and how the closing pushes for action. Since the price of the magazine is not a selling feature, it’s mentioned only on

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Persuasive Messages

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Sales Letter

small business monthly 28 North Ferry Road•Waterford, CT 6386

April 15, 200x

Mr. James Wehrley 1608 Montlieu Avenue High Point, NC 27262 Dear Mr. Wehrley:

Puts reader into action setting

You walk into the elevator and push the button for the top floor. The elevator glides upward. You step back and relax.

Gains attention

But the elevator never reaches the top. A glitch in its electronics prevents it from processing the information it needs to take you to your destination.

Suggests analogy

Emphasizes central selling point Uses testimonial for credibility

Do you see a similarity between your growing company and this elevator? You’re aiming for the top, but a lack of information halts your progress. Now you can put your company into gear and propel it toward success with a new publication—Small Business Monthly.

Builds interest

This first-of-its-kind magazine brings you marketing tips, hard-headed business pointers, opportunities, and inspiration. This is the kind of current information you need today to be where you want to be tomorrow. One executive wrote: As president of a small manufacturing company, I read several top business publications, but I get my “bread and butter” from Small Business Monthly. I’m not interested in a lot of “pie in the sky” and theory. I find practical problems and how to solve them in SBM. —Mitchell M. Perry, Bowling Green, Ohio

Counters resistance

Mr. Perry’s words are the best recommendation I can offer you to try SBM. In less time than you might spend on an average business lunch, you learn the latest in management, operations, finance, taxes, business law, compensation, and advertising.

Repeats central sales pitch in last sentence

To evaluate Small Business Monthly without cost or obligation, let me send you a free issue. Just initial and return the enclosed card to start receiving a wealth of practical information that could keep your company traveling upward to its goal.

Motivates action

Cordially,

Spotlights free offer in P.S. to prompt immediate reply

Cheryl Owings Vice President, Circulation P.S. Act before May 15 and I’ll send you our valuable booklet Managing for Success, revealing more than 100 secrets for helping small businesses grow.

the reply card. This sales letter saves its strongest motivator—a free booklet—for the high-impact P.S. line. In developing effective sales messages, some writers may be tempted to cross the line that separates legal from illegal sales tactics. Be sure to check out the Communication Workshop for this chapter to see specific examples of what is legal and what is not.

Writing Successful Online Sales Messages E-mail messages can be used to upsell, cross-sell, cut costs, and attract customers.

To make the best use of limited advertising dollars, many businesses are turning to e-mail marketing campaigns instead of traditional direct mailings. E-mail marketing can attract new customers, keep existing ones, upsell, cross-sell, and cut costs. As consumers feel more comfortable and secure with online advertising, they will be receiving more e-mail sales messages. If your organization requires an online sales message, try using the following techniques gleaned from the best-performing e-mails: • Communicate only with those who have given permission! By sending messages only to “opt-in” folks, you greatly increase your “open rate”—those e-mail messages that will be opened. E-mail users detest spam. However, receivers are

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Send only targeted, not “blanket,” mailings. Include something special for a select group.

• • • • • •

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surprisingly receptive to offers specifically for them. Remember that today’s customer is somebody—not anybody. Craft a catchy subject line. Offer discounts or premiums. Promise solutions to everyday work-related problems. Highlight hot new industry topics. Invite readers to scan a top-ten list, such as issues, trends, or people. Keep the main information “above the fold.” E-mail messages should be top heavy. Primary points should appear early in the message so that they capture the reader’s attention. Make the message short, conversational, and focused. Because on-screen text is taxing to read, be brief. Focus on one or two central selling points only. Convey urgency. Top-performing e-mail messages state an offer deadline or demonstrate why the state of the industry demands action on the reader’s part. Good messages also tie the product to relevant current events. Sprinkle testimonials throughout the copy. Consumers’ own words are the best sales copy. These comments can serve as callouts or be integrated into the copy. Provide a means for opting out. It’s polite and a good business tactic to include a statement that tells receivers how to be removed from the sender’s mailing database.

SUMMING UP AND LOOKING FORWARD The ability to persuade is a powerful and versatile communication tool. In this chapter you learned to apply the indirect strategy in making favor and action requests, writing persuasive messages within organizations, making claims and requesting adjustments, and writing sales letters. You also learned techniques for developing successful online sales messages. In the Communication Workshop following this chapter, you can examine examples of what is legal and what is not in sales letters. The techniques suggested in this chapter will be

useful in many other contexts beyond the writing of these business documents. You will find that logical organization of arguments is also extremely effective in expressing ideas orally or any time you must overcome resistance to change. In coming chapters you will learn how to modify and generalize the techniques of direct and indirect strategies in preparing and writing informal and formal reports and proposals. Nearly all businesspeople today find that they must write an occasional report.

CRITICAL THINKING 1. Why is the ability to persuade a significant trait in both business and personal relations? 2. What are some of the underlying motivations that prompt individuals to agree to requests that do not directly benefit themselves or their organizations? 3. Because of the burden that “junk mail” places on society (depleted landfills, declining timber sup-

plies, overburdened postal system), how can it be justified? 4. Why is it important to know your needs and have documentation when you make requests of superiors? 5. Some individuals will never write an actual sales letter. Why is it nevertheless important for them to learn the techniques for doing so?

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CHAPTER REVIEW 6. List and discuss the four key elements in a persuasive request.

7. How can a subordinate be effective in persuading a superior to adopt a new procedure or purchase new equipment?

8. Generally, the direct pattern is best for requesting straightforward claims. When is the indirect pattern appropriate?

9. Name eight tips for making claims and complaints.

10. List at least ten ways to gain a reader’s attention in the opening of a sales letter.

11. In selling a product, when are rational appeals most effective? When are emotional appeals most effective?

12. Name six writing techniques that reduce resistance in a sales message.

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WRITING COACH

STEP-BY-STEP DEMONSTRATION

Favor Request

Problem As program chair of the Southern Florida University Management Society, you must invite a well-known business writer to speak at your organization’s banquet on February 2. The author, Joyce Lain Kennedy, has written many columns and books on careers, focusing recently on Internet job searching. Unfortunately, the SFU Management Society has no budget for speakers. But you saw a recent newspaper item saying that Ms. Kennedy has a winter home in St. Petersburg, so she might consider coming since she is a neighbor and since she has a track record of speaking to student audiences.

before revision Current date Ms. Joyce Lain Kennedy 230 73rd Avenue St. Petersburg, FL 33706 Dear Joyce: Because you now have a winter home here in St. Petersburg, we thought it would not be too much trouble for you to be the keynote speaker at our SFU Management Society banquet February 2. Your newspaper columns, and many books on careers have been a reliable source of information and inspiration to readers across the country and especially to we business students here at Southern Florida University.

Avoid negative comments

One of our proffessors said that you were the dean of career columnists. Maybe that’s why you have been named the person that our students would most like to have as the keynote speaker at our SFU Management Society banquet Febuary 2. All of us will be seeking business career when we graduate so that’s why we would really be especially interested in any tips in regard to the matter of résumés, cover letters and interviews that you could share with us. We were surprised, though, to see that you have written a number of “Dummies” books including Resumes for Dummies, Cover Letters for Dummies, and so on. We’re not dummies, but we are especially interested in learning about what a behavioral interview is. Which was the topic of one of your recent columns. We can’t offer an honorarium, so we have to rely on local speakers. But we can promise you a fine dinner at the SFU Faculty Club and an eager and appreciation audience of more then one hundred business students and faculty.

Open with compliment or praise to make favorable impression

Build interest with details

Focus on reader benefits

We also know that you now live in St. Petersburg Beach, which is not too far from our campus, so we hoped you could work us into your schedule. Our banquet evening as a general rule begins at 6:30 with a social hour, followed by dinner at 7:30 and the speaker from 8:30 until 9 or 9:15. You won’t have to worry about transportation, we can arrange a limousine for you and your husband, if you need it. Don’t make it easy to refuse

We realize that you have a busy schedule, but we hope you’ll carve out a space for us. Please let our advisor, Professor Kevin West, have the favor of an early reply. Cordially,

Must add end date and specific request

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Writing Plan OPENING Obtain the reader’s attention and interest Describe a problem, state something unexpected, suggest reader benefits, offer praise or compliments, or ask a stimulating question.

BODY Build interest Explain logically and concisely the purpose of the request. Prove its merit. Use facts, statistics, expert opinion, examples, specific details, and direct and indirect benefits.

Reduce resistance Anticipate objections, offer counterarguments, establish credibility, demonstrate competence, and show the value of your proposal.

CLOSING Motivate action Ask for a particular action. Make the action easy to take. Show courtesy, respect, and gratitude.

after revision SOUTHERN FLORIDA UNIVERSITY Management Society Box 2997 A Sarasota FL 34230 November 1, 200x Ms. Joyce Lain Kennedy 230 73rd Avenue St. Petersburg, FL 33706 Dear Ms. Kennedy: Your newspaper columns and many books on careers have been a reliable source of information and inspiration to readers across the country and especially to us business students here at Southern Florida University. As the dean of career columnists, you have been named the person that our students would most like to have as the keynote speaker at our SFU Management Society banquet February 2. Because all of us will be seeking business careers when we graduate, we are interested in any tips about résumés, cover letters, and interviews that you could share with us. We are especially interested in learning about behavioral interviews, which was the topic of one of your recent columns. Although we can’t offer an honorarium, we can promise you a fine dinner at the SFU Faculty Club and an eager and appreciative audience of more than 100 students and faculty. Our banquet evening generally begins at 6:30 with a social hour, followed by dinner at 7:30, and the speaker’s remarks from 8:30 until 9 or 9:15. So that you won’t have to worry about transportation, we can arrange a limousine for you and your guest. Please make this our most memorable banquet yet! Just call our advisor, Professor Kevin West, at (813) 886-2449 before November 15 to accept this invitation. Cordially,

Gina Caracas Secretary

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13. Name five techniques for motivating action in the closing of a sales message.

14. What are some advantages and disadvantages to advertisers in using e-mail marketing?

15. What techniques do writers of successful online sales messages use?

WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES Strategies For each of the following situations, check the appropriate writing strategy. Direct Strategy

Indirect Strategy 16. An appeal for a contribution to Direct Relief, an international charity 17. An announcement that henceforth all dental, health, and life insurance benefits for employees will be reduced 18. A request to another company for verification of employment regarding a job applicant 19. A letter to a painting contractor demanding payment for replacing office floor tiles damaged by sloppy painters 20. A request for information about a wireless office network 21. A letter to a grocery store requesting permission to display posters advertising a school fund-raising car wash 22. A request for a refund of the cost of a computer program that does not perform the functions it was expected to perform 23. A request for correction of a routine billing error on your company credit card 24. An invitation to a prominent financial expert to address the annual stockholders’ meeting 25. A memo to employees describing the schedule and menu selections of a new mobile catering service

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7.1 Persuasive Memo: Importing T-Shirts From China Your Task. Analyze the following memo. List its weaknesses. If your instructor directs, revise it. Date: To: From: Subject:

Current Alexandra Schwab, VP, Media Relations Norman Porticella, Product Manager T-Shirts From China

Trade shows are a great way for us to meet customers and sell our Life Fitness equipment. But instead of expanding our visits to these trade shows, we continue to cut back the number that we attend. Lately we’ve been sending fewer staff members. I know that you’ve been asking us to find ways to reduce costs, but perhaps we’re not going about it right. With increased air fares and hotel charges, my staff has tried to find ways to live within our very tight budget. Yet, we’re being asked to find additional ways to reduce our costs. I’m currently thinking ahead to the big Las Vegas trade show coming up in September. One area where we could make a change is in the gift that we give away. In the past we have presented booth visitors with a nine-color T-shirt that is silk screened and gorgeous. But it comes at a cost of $15 for each and every one of these beauties from a top-name designer. To save money, I suggest that we try a $4 T-shirt made in China, which is reasonably presentable. It’s got our name on it, and, after all, folks just use these shirts for workouts. Who cares if it is a fancy silk-screened T-shirt or a functional Chinese one that has “Life Fitness” plastered on the chest? Since we give away 2,000 T-shirts at our largest show, we could save big bucks by dumping the designer shirt. But we have to act quickly. I’ve enclosed a cheap one for you to see. Let me know what you think. 1. List at least five weaknesses.

7.2 Claim Request: Copier Ripoff! The following letter makes a claim, but the message is not as effective as it could be. Your Task. Analyze the letter and list its weaknesses. If your instructor directs, revise the letter. Current date Mr. Kurt Littleton Lawson Business Products 291 Bostwick Northeast Grand Rapids, MI 49503 Dear Sir: Three months ago we purchased four of your E-Studio 120 photocopiers, and we’ve had nothing but trouble ever since.

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Your salesperson, Julia Franks, assured us that the E-Studio 120 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the E-Studio 120 was meant for 500 copies a day. But we believed Ms. Franks. Big mistake! Our four E-Studio 120 copiers are down constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they’re still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we’re losing considerable business in downtime. Your Ms. Franks has been less than helpful, so I telephoned the district manager, Ron Rivera. I suggested that we trade in our E-Studio 120 copiers (which we got for $2,500 each) on two E-Studio 600 models (at $13,500 each). However, Mr. Rivera said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our E-Studio 120 copiers. What a ripoff! I think that 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months. Mr. Rivera said he would get back to me, and I haven’t heard from him since. I’m writing to your headquarters because I have no faith in either Ms. Franks or Mr. Rivera, and I need action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you would see what a sweet deal I’m offering you. I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your most expensive model—but I can’t take such a steep loss on the E-Studio 120 copiers. The E-Studio 120 copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all the money you’ll save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our 120 copiers! Please let me hear from you immediately. Sincerely yours, 1. List at least five weaknesses.

7.3 Sales Letter Analysis Your Task. Select a one- or two-page sales letter received by you or a friend. (If you are unable to find a sales letter, your instructor may have a collection.) Study the letter and then answer these questions: a. What techniques capture the reader’s attention? b. Is the opening effective? Explain. c. What are the central selling points? d. Does the letter use rational, emotional, or a combination of appeals? Explain. e. What reader benefits are suggested? f. How does the letter build interest in the product or service? g. How is price handled? h. How does the letter anticipate reader resistance and offer counterarguments? i. What action is the reader to take? How is the action made easy? j. What motivators spur the reader to act quickly?

ACTIVITIES AND CASES INFOTRAC

WEB

7.4 Persuasive Favor/Action Request: Financial Advice for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke Despite spending countless hours in the classroom and writing stacks of meticulous research papers, many graduates who are about to enter the real world are clueless when it comes to basic personal finance, according to the experts. As program chair for the Associated Student Organization at Arizona International University, Tempe, you suggest that the group invite financial celebrity Suze Orman to be its keynote speaker at

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a special graduation convocation. The ASO agreed and set aside $1,000 as an honorarium. This is not very much to entice the author of The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke, but Ms. Orman has been heavily promoting her book in cross-country tours to college campuses. The ASO group thinks it stands a fair chance of luring this financial celebrity to campus.7 Your Task. Write a convincing favor/action request to Suze Orman, P.O. Box 4502, New York, NY 10014. Learn more about her expertise and books by using the Web and InfoTrac. Invite her to speak April 26. Provide direct and indirect benefits. Include an end date and make it easy to respond. Do not use the same wording as the model documents in this chapter. TEAM

CRITICAL THINKING

7.5 Persuasive Favor/Action Request: Celebrity Auction Your professional or school organization (such as the Associated Students Organization) must find ways to raise money. The president of your group appoints a team and asks it to brainstorm for ways to meet your group’s pledge to aid the United Way’s battle against adult illiteracy in your community. The campaign against adult illiteracy has targeted an estimated 10,000 people in your community who cannot read or write. After considering and discarding a number of silly ideas, your team comes up with the brilliant idea of a celebrity auction. At a spring function, items or services from local and other celebrities would be auctioned. Your organization approves your idea and asks your team to persuade an important person in your professional organization (or your college president) to donate one hour of tutoring in a subject he or she chooses. If you have higher aspirations, write to a movie star or athlete of your choice—perhaps one who is part of your organization or who attended your school. Your Task. As a team, discuss the situation and decide what action to take. Then write a persuasive letter to secure an item for the auction. You might wish to ask a star to donate a prop from a recent movie. CRITICAL THINKING

TEAM

WEB

7.6 Persuasive Favor/Action Request: PDAs Lighten Realtors’ Load in Historic Charleston Charleston, South Carolina, one of America’s most beautifully preserved architectural and historic treasures, enjoys a booming real estate market. Forbes magazine forecasts a 200 percent appreciation for its properties by the year 2009. The Cooper River Bridge project is America’s largest construction project, and the entire regional economy glows. Real estate agents have plenty of work showing off new homes as well as beautifully preserved structures from the colonial and antebellum periods. The problem is that agents have to grapple with telephone directory–size books of multiple listings—or run back and forth to their offices as they show home buyers what’s on the market. As a staffer at one of Charleston’s top realty agencies, you recently attended a Association of Realtors meeting and talked with fellow agent Bob Drewisch. He showed you his new personal digital assistant (PDA) and said, “Watch this.” He accessed listing after listing of homes for sale by his company and others. You couldn’t believe your eyes. You saw island properties, historic homes, beachfront condos—all with pictures and complete listing information. In this little device, which could easily fit into a pocket (or purse), you could carry six months of active, pending, and closed listings, along with contact details for agents and other valuable information. You thought about the size of your multiple listing books and how often you had to trudge back to the office when a home buyer wanted to see a market listing. “Looks terrific,” you said to Bob. “But what about new listings? And how much does this thing cost? And I bet it has a steep learning curve.” Eager to show off his new toy, Bob demonstrated its user-friendly interface that follows intuitive prompts such as price, area, and number of bedrooms. He explained that his agency bought the software for $129. For a monthly fee of $19, he downloads updates as often as he likes. In regard to ease of use, Bob said that even his fellow agent Emily, notoriously computer challenged, loved it. None of the staff found it confusing or difficult to operate. You decide that the agency where you work should provide this service to all 18 full-time staff agents. Assume that multiple listing software is available for the greater Charleston area. Your Task. With other staff members (your classmates), decide how to approach the agency owner, who is “old school” and shuns most technology. Decide what you want to request. Do you merely want the owner to talk with you about the service? Should you come right out and ask for PDAs and the service for all 18 staff members? Should you expect staff members to provide the hardware (a basic PDA at about $200) and the agency to purchase the service and individual updates for each full-time agent? Or should you ask for the service plus a top-of-the-line device that combines PDA/phone, GPS (global positioning system), and other

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capabilities? Learn more about PDA possibilities on the Web. Explore this information with your team. Once you decide on a course of action, what appeals would be most persuasive? Discuss how to handle price in your persuasive argument. Individually or as a group, prepare a persuasive message to George R. Hollings, President, Hollings Carolina Realty. Decide whether you should deliver your persuasive message as a printed memo or an e-mail.8 TEAM

7.7 Persuasive Favor/Action Request: Servers Want Recourse From Stingy Customers Centered in the heart of a 2,400-acre Florida paradise, the Bayside Inn Golf and Beach Resort offers gracious hospitality and beautiful accommodations. Its restaurant, Dolphin Watch, overlooks the scenic Choctawhatchee Bay, a perfect place to spy dolphins. As a server in the Dolphin Watch, you enjoy working in this resort setting—except for one thing. You have occasionally been “stiffed” by a patron who left no tip. You know your service is excellent, but some customers just don’t get it. They seem to think that tips are optional, a sign of appreciation. For servers, however, tips are 80 percent of their income. In a recent New York Times article, you learned that some restaurants—like the famous Coach House Restaurant in New York—automatically add a 15 percent tip to the bill. In Santa Monica the Lula restaurant prints “gratuity guidelines” on checks, showing customers what a 15 or 20 percent tip would be. You also know that American Express recently developed a gratuity calculation feature on its terminals. This means that diners don’t even have to do the math! Your Task. Because they know you are studying business communication, your fellow servers have asked you to write a serious letter to Nicholas Ruiz, General Manager, Bayside Inn Golf and Beach Resort, 9300 Emerald Coast Parkway West, Sandestin FL 32550-7268. Persuade him to adopt mandatory tipping guidelines in the restaurant. Talk with fellow servers (your classmates) to develop logical persuasive arguments. CRITICAL THINKING

7.8 Persuasive Favor/Action Request: Dictionary Definition of McJobs Angers McDonald’s The folks at McDonald’s fumed when they heard about the latest edition of a highly regarded dictionary, Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, defined the word McJob as “a low-paying job that requires little skill and provides little opportunity for advancement.” Naturally, McDonald’s was outraged. One executive said, “It’s a slap in the face to the 12 million men and women who work hard every day in America’s 900,000 restaurants.” The term McJob was coined by Canadian novelist Douglas Coupland in his 1991 novel Generation X. In this novel the term described a low-prestige, low-dignity, low-benefit, no-future job in the service sector. But McDonald’s strongly objects to this corruption of its name. For one thing, the company rejects the notion that its jobs are dead ends. Significant members of top management—including the president, chief operating officer, and CEO—began their McDonald’s careers behind the counter. Moreover, when it comes to training, McDonald’s trains more young people than the U.S. armed forces. What’s more, McDonald’s is especially proud of its “MCJOBS” program for mentally and physically challenged people. Some officers even wonder if the dictionary term McJob doesn’t come dangerously close to the trademarked name for its special program. Another point that rankles McDonald’s is that, according to its records, over 1,000 people who now own McDonald’s restaurants received their training while serving customers. Who says that its jobs have no future? The CEO is burned up about Merriam-Webster’s dictionary definition, and he wants to send a complaint letter. But he is busy and asks you, a member of the communication staff, to draft a first version. He’s so steamed that he’s thinking of sending a copy of the letter to news agencies. Your Task. Before writing this letter, decide what action, if any, to request. Think about an appropriate tone and also about the two possible audiences. Then write a persuasive letter for the signature of the CEO. Include the “a slap in the face” statement, which he insists on inserting. Address your letter to Frederick C. Mish, editor in chief, Merriam-Webster. Look for a street address on the Web. WEB

CRITICAL THINKING

7.9 Persuasive Favor/Action Request: Appealing to Your Congressional Representative to Listen and Act Assume you are upset about an issue, and you want your representative or senator to know your position. Choose a national issue about which you feel strongly: student loans, social security depletion, human rights

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in other countries, federal safety regulations for employees, environmental protection, affirmative action, gun control, taxation of married couples, finding a cure for obesity, the federal deficit, or some other area regulated by Congress. Your Task. Use your favorite Web search engine (such as www.google.com) to obtain your congressional representative’s address. Try the search term “Contacting Congress.” You should be able to find e-mail and land addresses, along with fax and telephone numbers. Remember that although e-mail and fax messages are fast, they don’t carry as much influence as personal letters. What’s more, congressional representatives are having trouble responding to the overload of e-mail messages they receive. Decide whether it’s better to send an e-mail message or a letter. For best results, consider these tips: (1) Use the proper form of address (The Honorable John Smith, Dear Senator Smith or The Honorable Joan Doe, Dear Representative Doe). (2) Identify yourself as a member of his or her state or district. (3) Immediately state your position (I urge you to support/oppose . . . because . . . ). (4) Present facts and illustrations and how they affect you personally. If legislation were enacted, how would you or your organization be better off or worse off? Avoid generalities. (5) Offer to provide further information. (6) Keep the message polite, constructive, and brief (one page tops). CRITICAL THINKING

INFOTRAC

TEAM

7.10 Persuasive Favor/Action Request: Vending Machines Are Cash Cows to Schools “If I start to get huge, then, yeah, I’ll cut out the chips and Coke,” says seventeen-year-old Nicole O’Neill, as she munches sour-cream-and-onion potato chips and downs a cold can of soda fresh from the snack machine. Most days her lunch comes from a vending machine. The trim high school junior, however, isn’t too concerned about how junk food affects her weight or overall health. Although she admits she would prefer a granola bar or fruit, few healthful selections are available from school vending machines. Vending machines loaded with soft drinks and snacks are increasingly under attack in schools and lunchrooms. Some school boards, however, see them as cash cows. In Gresham, Oregon, the school district is considering a lucrative soft drink contract. If it signs an exclusive 12-year agreement with Coca-Cola to allow vending machines at Gresham High School, the school district will receive $75,000 up front. Then it will receive an additional $75,000 three years later. Commission sales on the 75-cent drinks will bring in an additional $322,000 over the 12-year contract, provided the school sells 67,000 cans and bottles every year. In the past the vending machine payments supported student body activities such as sending students to choir concerts and paying athletic participation fees. Vending machine funds also paid for an electronic reader board in front of the school and a sound system for the gym. The latest contract would bring in $150,000, which is already earmarked for new artificial turf on the school athletic field. Coca-Cola’s vending machines would dispense soft drinks, Fruitopia, Minute Maid juices, Powerade, and Dasani water. The hands-down student favorite, of course, is calorie-laden Coke. Because increasing childhood and adolescent obesity across the nation is a major health concern, the Gresham Parent–Teacher Association (PTA) decided to oppose the contract. The PTA realizes that the school board is heavily influenced by the income generated from the Coca-Cola contract. It wonders what other school districts are doing about their vending machine contracts. Your Task. As part of a PTA committee, you have been given the task of researching and composing a persuasive but concise (no more than one page) letter addressed to the school board. Use InfoTrac or the Web to locate articles that might help you develop arguments, alternatives, and counterarguments. Meet with your team to discuss your findings. Then individually or as a group, write a letter to the Board of Directors, Gresham-Barlow School District, P.O. Box 310, Gresham, OR 97033.

7.11 Personal Persuasive Memo: Dear Boss In your own work or organization experience, identify a problem for which you have a solution. Should a procedure be altered to improve performance? Would a new or different piece of equipment help you perform your work better? Could some tasks be scheduled more efficiently? Are employees being used most effectively? Could customers be better served by changing something? Do you want to work other hours or perform other tasks? Your Task. Once you have identified a situation requiring persuasion, write a memo to your boss or organization head. Use actual names and facts. Employ the concepts and techniques in this chapter to help you convince your boss that your idea should prevail. Include concrete examples, anticipate objections, emphasize reader benefits, and end with a specific action to be taken.

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7.12 Persuasive Memo: Scheduling Meetings More Strategically The following memo, with names changed, was actually sent. Your Task. Based on what you have learned in this chapter, improve this memo. Expect the staff to be somewhat resistant because they’ve never before had meeting restrictions. Date: To: From: Subject:

Current All Managers and Employees Lynn Wasson, CEO SCHEDULING MEETINGS

Please be reminded that travel in the greater Los Angeles area is time consuming. In the future we’re asking that you set up meetings that 1. Are of critical importance 2. Consider travel time for the participants 3. Consider phone conferences (or video or e-mail) in lieu of face-to-face meetings 4. Meetings should be at the location where most of the participants work and at the most opportune travel times 5. Traveling together is another way to save time and resources. We all have our traffic stories. A recent one is that a certain manager was asked to attend a one-hour meeting in Burbank. This required one hour of travel in advance of the meeting, one hour for the meeting, and two and a half hours of travel through Los Angeles afterward. This meeting was scheduled for 4 p.m. Total time consumed by the manager for the one-hour meeting was four and a half hours. Thank you for your consideration. CRITICAL THINKING

E-MAIL

INFOTRAC

7.13 Persuasive Internal Request: Curbing Profanity on the Job As sales manager for a large irrigation parts manufacturer, you are concerned about the use of profanity by your sales associates. Some defend profanity, claiming that it helps them fit in. Your female sales reps have said that it helps relax listeners and drive home a point as well as makes them “one of the boys.” You have done some research, however, and learned that courts have ruled that profanity can constitute sexual harassment—whether in person or in print. In addition to causing legal problems, profanity on the job projects a negative image of the individual and of the company. Although foul language is heard increasingly on TV and in the movies, you think it’s a bad habit and you want to see it curbed on the job. Your Task. Use InfoTrac and the Web to locate articles related to the use of profanity and strategies employed by organizations for dealing with it. One good resource is www.cusscontrol.com. In small groups or in class, discuss the place of formal and informal language in communication. Prepare a list of reasons people curse and reasons not to do so. Your instructor may ask you to interview employers to learn their reactions to the issue of workplace profanity. As sales manager at Rain City, compose a persuasive e-mail or memo to your sales staff that will encourage them to curb their use of profanity.9

7.14 Persuasive Claim: Legal Costs for Sharing a Slice of Heaven Originally a shipbuilding village, the town of Mystic, Connecticut, captures the spirit of the nineteenth-century seafaring era. But it is best known for Mystic Pizza, a bustling local pizzeria featured in a movie that launched the film career of Julia Roberts. Today, customers line the sidewalk waiting to taste its pizza, called by some “a slice of Heaven.” Assume that you are the business manager for Mystic Pizza’s owners. They were approached by an independent vendor who wants to use the Mystic Pizza name and secret recipes to distribute frozen pizza through grocery and convenience stores. As business manager, you worked with a law firm, Giordano, Murphy, and Associates. This firm was to draw up contracts regarding the use of Mystic Pizza’s name and quality standards for the product. When you received the bill from Henry Giordano, you were flabbergasted.

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It itemized 38 hours of attorney preparation, at $400 per hour, and 55 hours of paralegal assistance, at $100 per hour. The bill also showed $415 for telephone calls, which might be accurate because Mr. Giordano had to talk with the owners, who were vacationing in Italy at the time. You seriously doubt, however, that an experienced attorney would require 38 hours to draw up the contracts in question. When you began checking, you discovered that excellent legal advice could be obtained for $200 an hour. Your Task. Decide what you want to request, and then write a persuasive request to Henry Giordano, Attorney at Law, Giordano, Murphy, and Associates, 254 Sherborn Street, Boston, MA 02215. Include an end date and a reason for it.

7.15 Persuasive Claim: Champagne Breakfast Appears Only on Credit Card As regional manager for an electronics parts manufacturer, you and two other employees attended a conference in Washington, D.C. You stayed at the Harvard House Hotel because your company recommends that employees use this hotel chain. Generally, your employees have liked their accommodations, and the rates have been within your company’s budget. The hotel’s service has been excellent. Now, however, you’re unhappy with the charges you see on your company’s credit statement from Harvard House. When your department’s administrative assistant made the reservations, she was assured that you would receive the weekend rates and that a hot breakfast—in the hotel restaurant, the Atrium—would be included in the rate. You hate those cold sweet rolls and instant coffee “continental” breakfasts, especially when you have to leave early and won’t get another meal until afternoon. So you and the other two employees went to the restaurant and ordered a hot meal from the menu. When you received the credit statement, though, you see a charge for $81 for three champagne buffet breakfasts in the Atrium. You hit the ceiling! For one thing, you didn’t have a buffet breakfast and certainly no champagne. The three of you got there so early that no buffet had been set up. You ordered pancakes and sausage, and for this you were billed $25 each. You’re outraged! What’s worse, your company may charge you personally for exceeding the expected rates. In looking back at this event, you remembered that other guests on your floor were having a “continental” breakfast in a lounge on your floor. Perhaps that’s where the hotel expected all guests on the weekend rate to eat. However, your administrative assistant had specifically asked about this matter when she made the reservations, and she was told that you could order breakfast from the menu at the hotel’s restaurant. Your Task. You want to straighten out this matter, and you can’t do it by telephone because you suspect that you will need a written record of this entire mess. Write a claim request to Customer Service, Washington Harvard House Hotel, 1221 22nd Street, N.W., Washington, DC 20037. Should you include a copy of the credit statement showing the charge? INFOTRAC

WEB

7.16 Sales Letter: Getting in Shape at General Foods Obesity in this country is swelling to unprecedented levels with nearly 60 percent of adults overweight. In addition to the risks to individuals, businesses estimate a loss of $5.5 billion in lowered productivity resulting from absenteeism and weight-related chronic disease. Companies from Wall Street to the Rust Belt are launching or improving programs to help employees lose weight. Union Pacific Railroad is considering giving out pedometers to track workers around the office, as well as dispensing weight-loss drugs. Merrill Lynch sponsors Weight Watchers meetings. Caterpillar instituted the Healthy Balance Program. It promotes longterm behavorial change and healthier lifestyles for Caterpillar workers. Estimates suggest that employers and employees could save $1,200 a year for each person’s medical costs if overweight employees shed their excess weight. As a sales representative for Vector Lifetime Fitness, one of the country’s leading fitness operators, you are convinced that your fitness equipment and programs are instrumental in helping people lose weight. With regular exercise at an on-site fitness center, employees lose weight and improve overall health. As employee health improves, absenteeism is reduced and overall productivity increases. Moreover, employees love working out before or after work. They make the routine part of their workday, and they often have work buddies who share their fitness regimen. Although many companies resist spending money to save money, fitness centers need not be large or expensive to be effective. Studies show that moderately sized centers coupled with motivational and training

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programs yield the greatest success. For just $30,000, Vector Lifetime Fitness will provide exercise equipment including treadmills, elliptical trainers, exercise bikes, multigyms, and weight machines. Their fitness experts will design a fitness room, set up the equipment, and create appropriate programs. Best of all, the one-time cost is usually offset by cost savings within one year of center installation. For additional fees Vector can provide fitness consultants for employee fitness assessments. Vector specialists will also train employees on the proper use of the equipment and clean and manage the facility—for an extra charge, of course. Your Task. Use InfoTrac or the Web to update your obesity statistics. Then prepare a sales letter addressed to Cheryl O’Berry, Vice President, Human Resources, General Foods, Inc., 2300 Thousand Lakes Blvd., Eagan, MN 65123. Ask for an appointment to meet with her. Send a brochure detailing the products and services that Vector Lifetime Fitness provides. As an incentive, offer a free fitness assessment for all employees if General Foods installs a fitness facility by December 1.

7.17 Sales Letter: Promoting Your Product or Service Identify a situation in your current job or a previous one in which a sales letter is/was needed. Using suggestions from this chapter, write an appropriate sales letter that promotes a product or service. Use actual names, information, and examples. If you have no work experience, imagine a business you’d like to start: word processing, pet grooming, car detailing, tutoring, specialty knitting, balloon decorating, delivery service, child care, gardening, lawn care, or something else. Write a letter selling your product or service to be distributed to your prospective customers. Be sure to tell them how to respond.

VIDEO RESOURCE Video Library 2, Bridging the Gap Persuasion and Profitability: World Gym. World Gym Showplace Square has been rated the best gym in the Bay Area. The physical plant has over 35,000 square feet stocked with free weights, treadmills, lifecycles, Stairmasters, recumbent bikes, and rowing machines. Although business is good, World Gym finds that most of its traffic comes from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. If it could persuade members to come later and stay until 10 or 11 p.m., it could increase profitability and improve service. The owners, Joe and Robin Talmudge, are thinking of adding video cameras inside and outside to improve security.

This might encourage members to stay later. After watching the film, you’ll see some of the problems facing the Talmudges. Your Task. As an assistant to the owners, you have been asked to draft a letter to members that persuades them to fill out a simple questionnaire regarding the addition of security cameras. In the prewriting phase, decide the purpose of your message. Consider the best channel, along with direct and indirect benefits you can suggest. Write a message addressed to “Valued World Gym Members.” Your instructor may help you think through this case with specific questions.

GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHECKUP—7 Commas 2 Review the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook Sections 2.05–2.09. Then study each of the following statements and insert necessary commas. In the space provided write the number of commas that you add; write 0 if no commas are needed. Also record the number of the G/M principle(s) illustrated. When you finish, compare your responses with those provided at the end of the book. If your answers differ, study carefully the principles shown in parentheses. 1

(2.06a)

Example

When U.S. organizations engage in overseas business they must train their staffs accordingly.

1. If you are based in New York City and working with a sales office in Australia you will be dealing with a 16-hour time difference. 2. One international support person works with time zones around the world and she keeps several clocks set to different zones.

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3. Dealing with the unfamiliar is less challenging if you are patient and if you are able to avoid becoming irritated at misunderstandings. 4. Michelle Sanchez who was recently transferred to the parent company in France quickly became fluent in French. 5. The imaginative promising software company opened its offices April 22 in Paris. 6. Any sales associate who earns at least 1,000 recognition points this year will be honored with a bonus vacation trip to Tahiti. 7. James Manning the marketing manager for Chevron’s Global Power Generation frequently engages in videoconferences that span time zones. 8. In a period of less than six weeks Mr. Manning made several trips to the West Coast and to Asia. 9. When you are working with foreign clients for whom English is a second language you may have to speak slowly and repeat yourself. 10. To be most successful you must read between the lines and learn to pick up on different cultural vibes.

Review of Commas 1 and 2 11. Michelle’s new job involved setting up meetings arranging travel plans and communicating with people who did not speak her language. 12. After she was hired she was told to report for work on Monday June 2 in Paris. 13. In the fall we expect to open a new branch in Sunnyvale which is an area of considerable growth. 14. As we discussed on the telephone the ceremony is scheduled for Thursday March 4 at 3 p.m. 15. Michelle had to ask a foreign executive with a thick accent to repeat himself several times and she was uncomfortable in this situation.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHALLENGE—7 The following letter has faults in grammar, punctuation, spelling, proofreading, and number form. Hint: Look for commas to remove as well as add. Correct the errors with standard proofreading marks (see Appendix B) or revise the message online at Guffey Xtra!

ConEx

Consolidated Express Current date Mr. Robert T. Hesser 111349 Pinestone Court San Diego, CA 92128 Dear Mr. Hessur: Beginning Febrary 15 your rates for ConEx domestic services will change to those in the inclosed rate agreement. These new rates reflect an increase on the average of between 3% and 4%, however, rates for ConEx standard overnight service is decreasing for heavier weights and ConEx express saver rates are staying the same for heavier weights. ConEx express saver gives you ConEx value for your less urgent shipments. It affords you an opportunity for delivery in 3 business days at some of our most affordable rates ever yet it offer such ConEx extra’s as commited delivery 24 hour access to shipment information and our money back guarantee. Because we recognize the growing number of business who’s work extends right through the week end ConEx announces a welcome innovation Sunday delivery. Starting March 10th shipments dropped off or picked up on Friday or Saterday can be delivered to fifty U.S. metropolitan areas on Sunday via ConEx priority overnight service—for a twenty dollar special handling fee. Enhancements to our Web site (www.conex.com) makes using ConEx easy and fast. In addition ConEx gives you alot of ways to satisfy your customers expectations which range from reliable on time delivery to consistent dependable handling. We appreciate you chosing ConEx, and strive to all ways meet your express shipping needs. Sincerely,

Donald M. Humphries

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ETHICS MAKING SURE YOUR SALES LETTERS ARE LEGAL In promoting products and writing sales letters, you must be careful with the words you choose and the claims you make. Information contained in sales letters has gotten some writers into trouble. Let’s look at what is legal and what is not in six areas: •

Puffery. In a sales letter, you can write, Hey, we’ve got something fantastic! It’s the very best product on the market! Called puffery, such promotional claims are not taken literally by reasonable consumers.

•

Substantiation of claims. If you write that three out of four dentists recommend your toothpaste, you’d better have competent and reliable scientific evidence to support the claim. Such a claim goes beyond puffery and requires proof.

•

Forward-looking statements. We estimate that we’ll open 50 new stores, increasing our market share substantially. Companies are allowed to make forward-looking statements to investors if the companies use “safe harbor” language. This language includes words such as estimate, anticipate, believe, expect, intend, potential, and predict. Courts, however, are increasingly requiring companies to provide more specific information about risks and uncertainties related to their forwardlooking statements.

•

Right of publicity. The unauthorized use of a celebrity’s name, likeness, or nickname is not permitted in sales messages. For example, late-night talk-show host Johnny Carson won a case against a portable toilet firm that promoted a “Here’s Johnny” toilet. Similarly, film star Dustin Hoffman won millions of dollars for the unauthorized use of a digitally altered photo showing him in an evening gown and Ralph Lauren heels. Even a commercial showing the image of a celebrity such as Tiger Woods on a camera phone is risky.

•

Deceptive advertising. You cannot tell people that they are winners or finalists in a sweepstake unless they actually are. American Family Publishers was found guilty of sending letters tricking people into buying magazine subscription in the belief that they had won $1.1 million. Companies may not misrepresent the nature, characteristics, qualities, or geographic origin of goods or services being promoted.

•

Unsolicited merchandise. If you enclose unsolicited merchandise with a letter, don’t expect the receiver to be required to pay for it or return it. Express Publishing, for example, sent a copy of its Food & Wine Magazine’s Cookbook with a letter inviting recipients to preview the book. “If you don’t want to preview the book, simply return the advance notice card within 14 days.” Courts, however, have ruled that recipients are allowed to retain, use, or discard any unsolicited merchandise without paying for it or returning it.

Career Application. Consumers today accept advertisers’ tendencies to stretch the truth in promoting their products. Most of us realize that polar bears don’t enjoy sipping Pepsi and that the Energizer battery will not go on and on forever no matter what its bunny does. A reasonable person would not really expect a miracle cream to perform “a facelift without surgery.” But the line between legitimate puffery and misleading statements can be hard to distinguish. The Uniform Commercial Code obligates companies to stand behind any specific or quantifiable statement about product quality. Quantifiable statements must be supported with evidence.

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Your Task Collect three sales letters or advertisements. In teams or in class, analyze the sales messages in terms of the six problem areas presented here. Specifically, discuss the following questions: •

What are some examples of puffery that you can identify?

•

What claims are made in the letters or advertisements? Are the claims substantiated by reliable scientific evidence? What proof is offered?

•

Do any of your examples include names, images, or nicknames of celebrities? How likely is it that the celebrity authorized this use?

•

Did free merchandise accompany a sales letter? What does the letter tell the receiver to do with it?

•

Does the sales letter or advertisement contain deceptive or unethical statements?

NEGATIVE MESSAGES OBJECTIVES

“

More thought goes into bad news messages. That’s because we need to ex-

• Explain the writing process and how to avoid legal problems related to badnews messages.

plain the whys and try to

• Discuss and illustrate techniques for delivering bad news sensitively.

”

offer alternatives.

Cathy Dial, former manager, Consumer Affairs, Frito-Lay, a division of PepsiCo1

PHOTOS: © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS; © PHOTODISC COLLECTION/GETTY IMAGES; © RYAN MCVAY/PHOTODISC/GETTY IMAGES

• Describe the goals and strategies of business communicators in delivering bad news, including knowing when to use the direct and indirect patterns.

• Outline a plan for refusing routine requests and claims. • Describe techniques for breaking bad news to customers. • Outline a plan for breaking bad news to employees. • Distinguish between ethical and unethical use of the indirect strategy.

STRATEGIES FOR DELIVERING BAD NEWS

The sting of bad news can be reduced by giving reasons and communicating sensitively.

Breaking bad news was a fact of business life for Cathy Dial at PepsiCo, as it is for nearly every business communicator. In all businesses, things occasionally go wrong. Goods are not delivered, a product fails to perform as expected, service is poor, billing gets fouled up, or customers are misunderstood. Because bad news disappoints, irritates, and sometimes angers the receiver, such messages must be written carefully. The bad feelings associated with disappointing news can generally be reduced if (1) the reader knows the reasons for the rejection and (2) the bad news is revealed with sensitivity. You’ve probably heard people say, It wasn’t so much the bad news that I resented. It was the way I was told! The direct strategy, which you learned to apply in earlier chapters, frontloads the main idea, even when it’s bad news. This direct strategy appeals to efficiencyoriented writers who don’t want to waste time with efforts to soften the effects of bad news.2 Many business writers, however, prefer to use the indirect pattern in delivering negative messages. The indirect strategy is especially appealing to relationshiporiented writers. They care about how a message will affect its receiver.

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In this chapter you’ll learn when to use the direct pattern and when to use the indirect pattern to deliver bad news. You’ll study the goals of business communicators in working with bad news. The major focus of this chapter, however, is on developing techniques for breaking bad news sensitively. You’ll apply those techniques to refusing routine requests and claims, breaking bad news to customers, and delivering bad organizational news to employees.

Establishing Goals in Communicating Bad News

In communicating bad news, key goals include getting the receiver to accept it, maintaining goodwill, and avoiding legal liability.

Delivering bad news is not the happiest writing task you may have, but it can be gratifying if you do it effectively. As a business communicator working with bad news, you will have many goals, the most important of which are these: • Acceptance. Make sure the reader understands and accepts the bad news. The indirect pattern helps in achieving this objective. • Positive image. Promote and maintain a good image of yourself and your organization. Realizing this goal assumes that you will act ethically. • Message clarity. Make the message so clear that additional correspondence is unnecessary. • Protection. Avoid creating legal liability or responsibility for you or your organization. These are ambitious goals, and we’re not always successful in achieving them all. The patterns and writing plans you’re about to learn, however, provide the beginning communicator with strategies and tactics that many writers have found successful in conveying disappointing news sensitively and safely. With experience, you’ll be able to vary these patterns and adapt them to your organization’s specific writing tasks.

Using the Indirect Pattern to Prepare the Reader

The indirect pattern softens the impact of bad news by giving reasons and explanations first.

FIGURE 8.1

Whereas good news can be revealed quickly, bad news is generally easier to accept when broken gradually. Revealing bad news slowly and indirectly shows sensitivity to your reader. By preparing the reader, you tend to soften the impact. A blunt announcement of disappointing news might cause the receiver to stop reading and toss the message aside. The indirect strategy enables you to keep the reader’s attention until you have been able to explain the reasons for the bad news. In fact, the most important part of a bad-news letter is the explanation, which you’ll learn about shortly. The indirect plan consists of four parts, as shown in Figure 8.1: • Buffer. Offer a neutral but meaningful statement that does not mention the bad news. • Reasons. Give an explanation of the causes for the bad news before disclosing it. • Bad news. Provide a clear but understated announcement of the bad news that may include an alternative or compromise. • Closing. Include a personalized, forward-looking, pleasant statement.

Four-Part Indirect Pattern for Bad News

Buffer

Reasons

Bad News

Closing

Open with a neutral but meaningful statement that does not mention the bad news.

Explain the causes of the bad news before disclosing it.

Reveal the bad news without emphasizing it. Provide an alternative or compromise, if possible.

End with a personalized, forward-looking, pleasant statement. Avoid referring to the bad news.

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Hotel giant Starwood accidentally listed exclusive bungalows at a Bora Bora resort in the South Pacific for $85 instead of $850 a night over the Internet. The deal was pounced on by 136 people who booked thousands of nights. Honoring the rate, however, would have cost the company $2 million in lost revenue. When companies are forced to deliver bad news, they generally prefer to use the indirect pattern beginning with a buffer and reasons before announcing the bad news.

Using the Direct Pattern in Specific Instances

The direct pattern is appropriate when the receiver might overlook the bad news, when directness is preferred, when firmness is necessary, when the bad news is not damaging, or when the goodwill of the receiver is unimportant.

The writing process is especially important in crafting bad-news messages because of the potential consequences of poorly written messages.

Many bad-news letters are best organized indirectly, beginning with a buffer and reasons. The direct pattern, with the bad news first, may be more effective, though, in situations such as the following: • When the receiver may overlook the bad news. With the crush of mail today, many readers skim messages, looking only at the opening. If they don’t find substantive material, they may discard the message. Rate increases, changes in service, new policy requirements—these critical messages may require boldness to ensure attention. • When organization policy suggests directness. Some companies expect all internal messages and announcements—even bad news—to be straightforward and presented without frills. • When the receiver prefers directness. Busy managers may prefer directness. Such shorter messages enable the reader to get in the proper frame of mind immediately. If you suspect that the reader prefers that the facts be presented straightaway, use the direct pattern. • When firmness is necessary. Messages that must demonstrate determination and strength should not use delaying techniques. For example, the last in a series of collection letters that seek payment of overdue accounts may require a direct opener. • When the bad news is not damaging. If the bad news is insignificant (such as a small increase in cost) and doesn’t personally affect the receiver, then the direct strategy certainly makes sense. • When the receiver’s goodwill is not an issue. Rarely, a business may have to send a message rejecting a customer’s business. For instance, Filene’s Basement, a chain of bargain retail stores, sent letters to two sisters announcing that their business was no longer welcome. The sisters had a history of returning items and making complaints about service.3

Applying the Writing Process Thinking through the entire writing process is especially important in bad-news letters. Not only do you want the receiver to understand and accept the message, but you want to be careful that your words say only what you intend.

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ANALYSIS, ANTICIPATION, AND ADAPTATION In Phase 1 (prewriting) you need to analyze the bad news so that you can anticipate its effect on the receiver. If the disappointment will be mild, announce it directly. If the bad news is serious or personal, consider techniques to reduce the pain. Adapt your words to protect the receiver’s ego. Instead of You neglected to change the oil, causing severe damage to the engine, switch to the passive voice: The oil wasn’t changed, causing severe damage to the engine. Choose words that show you respect the reader as a responsible, valuable person. RESEARCH, ORGANIZATION, AND COMPOSITION In Phase 2 (writing) you can gather information and brainstorm for ideas. Jot down all the reasons you have that explain the bad news. If four or five reasons prompted your negative decision, concentrate on the strongest and safest ones. Avoid presenting any weak reasons; readers may seize on them to reject the entire message. After selecting your best reasons, outline the four parts of the indirect pattern: buffer, reasons, bad news, closing. Flesh out each section as you compose your first draft. REVISION, PROOFREADING, AND EVALUATION In Phase 3 (revising) you’re ready to switch positions and put yourself into the receiver’s shoes. Have you looked at the problem from the receiver’s perspective? Is your message too blunt? Too subtle? Does the message make the refusal, denial, or bad-news announcement clear? Prepare the final version, and proofread for format, punctuation, and correctness.

Preventing Legal Problems Before we examine the components of a bad-news message, let’s look more closely at how you can avoid exposing yourself and your employer to legal liability in writing negative messages. Although we can’t always anticipate the consequences of our words, we should avoid libel and defamation, careless language, and misrepresenting our organization. DON’T BE GUILTY OF LIBEL OR DEFAMATION Defamation involves any published statement that is false and harms a person’s reputation. Libel is written defamation; slander is spoken.

Calling people names (such as deadbeat, crook, or quack) can get you into trouble. Defamation is the legal term for any false statement that harms an individual’s reputation. When the abusive language is written, it’s called libel; when spoken, it’s slander. To be actionable (likely to result in a lawsuit), abusive language must be (1) false, (2) damaging to one’s good name, and (3) “published”—that is, spoken within the presence of others or written. Thus, if you were alone with Jane Doe and accused her of accepting bribes and selling company secrets to competitors, she couldn’t sue because the defamation wasn’t published. Her reputation was not damaged. But if anyone heard the words or if they were written, you might be legally liable. In a new wrinkle, you may now be prosecuted and lose your job if you transmit a harassing or libelous message by e-mail or post messages in a chat group, on a message board, or on your own weblog (blog). Such electronic transmission is considered to be “published.” Moreover, a company may incur liability for messages sent through its computer system by employees. That’s why many companies are increasing their monitoring of both outgoing and internal messages. “Off-the-cuff, casual e-mail conversations among employees are exactly the type of messages that tend to trigger lawsuits and arm litigators with damaging evidence,” says e-mail guru Nancy Flynn.4 Instant messaging adds another danger for companies. Its use in U.S. companies doubled in just two years. What’s worse, it’s a largely unmonitored channel.5 Whether they use print or electronic media, competent communicators avoid making unproven charges and letting their emotions prompt abusive language.

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AVOID CARELESS LANGUAGE

Careless language includes statements that could be damaging or misinterpreted.

As the marketplace becomes increasingly litigious, we must be certain that our words communicate only what we intend. Take the case of a factory worker injured on the job. His attorney subpoenaed company documents and discovered a seemingly harmless letter sent to a group regarding a plant tour. These words appeared in the letter: “Although we are honored at your interest in our company, we cannot give your group a tour of the plant operations as it would be too noisy and dangerous.” The court found in favor of the worker, inferring from the letter that working conditions were indeed hazardous.6 The letter writer did not intend to convey the impression of dangerous working conditions, but the court accepted that interpretation. This case emphasizes an important caution. Be careful in making statements that are potentially damaging or that could be misinterpreted. Be wary of explanations that convey more information than you intend. Remember, too, that e-mail and instant messages are especially risky. You may think that a mere tap of the delete key makes a file disappear. No way! Messages continue to exist on backup storage devices in the files of the sender and the recipient. Today attorneys may demand all company files pertaining to a case, including long-forgotten e-mail and even instant messaging files. DON’T MISREPRESENT YOUR ORGANIZATION

Avoid statements that may make you feel good but misrepresent your organization.

Use organizational stationery for official business only, and beware of making promises that can’t be fulfilled.

Most of us hate to have to reveal bad news—that is, to be the bad guy. To make ourselves look better, to make the receiver feel better, and to maintain good relations, we are tempted to make statements that are legally dangerous. Consider the case of a law firm interviewing job candidates. One of the firm’s partners was asked to inform a candidate that she was not selected. The partner’s letter said, “Although you were by far the most qualified candidate we interviewed, unfortunately, we have decided we do not have a position for a person of your talents at this time.” To show that he personally had no reservations about this candidate and to bolster the candidate, the partner offered his own opinion. But he differed from the majority of the recruiting committee. When the rejected interviewee learned later that the law firm had hired two male attorneys, she sued, charging sexual discrimination. The court found in favor of the rejected candidate. It agreed that a reasonable inference could be made from the partner’s letter that she was the “most qualified candidate.”7 Two important lessons emerge. First, business communicators act as agents of their organizations. Their words, decisions, and opinions are assumed to represent those of the organization. If you want to communicate your personal feelings or opinions, use your personal e-mail address or write on plain paper (rather than company letterhead) and sign your name without title or affiliation. Second, volunteering extra information can lead to trouble. Thus, avoid supplying data that could be misused, and avoid making promises that can’t be fulfilled. Don’t admit or imply responsibility for conditions that caused damage or injury. Even apologies (We’re sorry that a faulty bottle cap caused damage to your carpet) may suggest liability.

TECHNIQUES FOR DELIVERING BAD NEWS SENSITIVELY Legal matters aside, let’s now study specific techniques for using the indirect pattern in sending bad-news messages. In this pattern the bad news is delayed until after explanations have been given. The four components of the indirect pattern, shown in Figure 8.2, include buffer, reasons, bad news, and closing.

Buffering the Opening A buffer is a device to reduce shock or pain. To buffer the pain of bad news, begin with a neutral but meaningful statement that makes the reader continue reading. The buffer should be relevant and concise and provide a natural transition to

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Delivering Bad News Sensitively

Buffer

Reasons

Bad News

Closing

Best news Compliment Appreciation Agreement Facts Understanding Apology

Cautious explanation Reader or other benefits Company policy explanation Positive words Evidence that matter was considered fairly and seriously

Embedded placement Passive voice Implied refusal Compromise Alternative

Forward look Information about alternative Good wishes Freebies Resale Sales promotion

the explanation that follows. The individual situation, of course, will help determine what you should put in the buffer. Avoid trite buffers such as Thank you for your letter. Here are some possibilities for opening bad-news messages. BEST NEWS Start with the part of the message that represents the best news. For example, a message to workers announced new health plan rules limiting prescriptions to a 34-day supply and increasing co-payments. With home delivery, however, employees could save up to $24 on each prescription. To emphasize the good news, you might write, You can now achieve significant savings and avoid trips to the drugstore by having your prescription drugs delivered to your home.8 COMPLIMENT Openings can buffer the bad news with compliments, appreciation, agreement, relevant facts, and understanding.

Praise the receiver’s accomplishments, organization, or efforts. But do so with honesty and sincerity. For instance, in a letter declining an invitation to speak, you could write, The Thalians have my sincere admiration for their fund-raising projects on behalf of hungry children. I am honored that you asked me to speak Friday, November 5. APPRECIATION Convey thanks to the reader for doing business, for sending something, for conveying confidence in your organization, for expressing feelings, or simply for providing feedback. Suppose you had to draft a letter that refuses employment. You could say, I appreciated learning about the hospitality management program at Cornell and about your qualifications in our interview last Friday. Avoid thanking the reader, however, for something you are about to refuse. AGREEMENT Make a relevant statement with which both reader and receiver can agree. A letter that rejects a loan application might read, We both realize how much the export business has been affected by the relative weakness of the dollar in the past two years. FACTS Provide objective information that introduces the bad news. For example, in a memo announcing cutbacks in the hours of the employees’ cafeteria, you might say, During the past five years the number of employees eating breakfast in our cafeteria has dropped from 32 percent to 12 percent. UNDERSTANDING Show that you care about the reader. Notice how in this letter to customers announcing a product defect, the writer expresses concern: We know that you expect

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superior performance from all the products you purchase from OfficeCity. That’s why we’re writing personally about the Exell printer cartridges you recently ordered. APOLOGY As you learned in Chapter 6, a carefully worded apology may be appropriate. If you do apologize, do it early, briefly, and sincerely. For example, a manufacturer of super premium ice cream might respond to a customer’s complaint with, We’re genuinely sorry that you were disappointed in the price of the ice cream you recently purchased at one of our scoop shops. Your opinion is important to us, and we appreciate your giving us the opportunity to look into the problem you describe. In responding to a complaint about poor service, a company might write, I appreciate the frustration our delay has caused you. I’m sorry you didn’t receive better service. Or, You’re right to be concerned. Good buffers avoid revealing the bad news immediately. Moreover, they do not convey a false impression that good news follows. Additionally, they provide a natural transition to the next bad-news letter component—the reasons.

Presenting the Reasons Bad-news messages should explain reasons before stating the negative news.

The most important part of a bad-news letter is the section that explains why a negative decision is necessary. Without sound reasons for denying a request or refusing a claim, a letter will fail, no matter how cleverly it is organized or written. One study found that if managers offered coworkers good reasons for bad news, employees were 43 percent less likely to experience anger, to blame, or to feel stress.9 As part of your planning before writing, you must analyze the problem. If you decide to refuse a request, you should have specific reasons. Before disclosing the bad news, try to explain those reasons. Providing an explanation reduces feelings of ill will and improves the chances that the reader will accept the bad news. BEING CAUTIOUS IN EXPLAINING If the reasons are not confidential and if they will not create legal liability, you can be specific: Growers supplied us with a limited number of patio roses, and our demand this year was twice that of last year. In refusing a speaking engagement, tell why the date is impossible: On January 17 we have a board of directors meeting that I must attend. Don’t, however, make unrealistic or dangerous statements in an effort to look good. CITING READER OR OTHER BENEFITS IF PLAUSIBLE

Readers accept bad news more readily if they see that someone benefits.

Readers are more open to bad news if in some way, even indirectly, it may help them. In refusing a customer’s request for free hemming of skirts and slacks, Lands’ End wrote: “We tested our ability to hem skirts a few months ago. This process proved to be very time-consuming. We have decided not to offer this service because the additional cost would have increased the selling price of our skirts substantially, and we did not want to impose that cost on all our customers.”10 Readers also accept bad news better if they recognize that someone or something else benefits, such as other workers or the environment: Although we would like to consider your application, we prefer to fill managerial positions from within. Avoid trying to show reader benefits, though, if they appear insincere: To improve our service to you, we’re increasing our brokerage fees. EXPLAINING COMPANY POLICY Readers resent blanket policy statements prohibiting something: Company policy prevents us from making cash refunds or Contract bids may be accepted from local companies only or Company policy requires us to promote from within. Instead of hiding behind company policy, gently explain why the policy makes sense: We prefer

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to promote from within because it rewards the loyalty of our employees. In addition, we’ve found that people familiar with our organization make the quickest contribution to our team effort. By offering explanations, you demonstrate that you care about readers and are treating them as important individuals. CHOOSING POSITIVE WORDS Because the words you use can affect a reader’s response, choose carefully. Remember that the objective of the indirect pattern is holding the reader’s attention until you’ve had a chance to explain the reasons justifying the bad news. To keep the reader in a receptive mood, avoid expressions with punitive, demoralizing, or otherwise negative connotations. Stay away from such words as cannot, claim, denied, error, failure, fault, impossible, mistaken, misunderstand, never, regret, rejected, unable, unwilling, unfortunately, and violate. SHOWING THAT THE MATTER WAS TREATED SERIOUSLY AND FAIRLY In explaining reasons, demonstrate to the reader that you take the matter seriously, have investigated carefully, and are making an unbiased decision. Consumers are more accepting of disappointing news when they feel that their requests have been heard and that they have been treated fairly. Avoid passing the buck or blaming others within your organization. Such unprofessional behavior makes the reader lose faith in you and your company.

Cushioning the Bad News Although you can’t prevent the disappointment that bad news brings, you can reduce the pain somewhat by breaking the news sensitively. Be especially considerate when the reader will suffer personally from the bad news. A number of thoughtful techniques can cushion the blow. POSITIONING THE BAD NEWS STRATEGICALLY Techniques for cushioning bad news include positioning it strategically, using the passive voice, implying the refusal, and suggesting alternatives or compromises.

Instead of spotlighting it, sandwich the bad news between other sentences, perhaps among your reasons. Try not to let the refusal begin or end a paragraph—the reader’s eye will linger on these high-visibility spots. Another technique that reduces shock is putting a painful idea in a subordinate clause: Although another candidate was hired, we appreciate your interest in our organization and wish you every success in your job search. Subordinate clauses often begin with words such as although, as, because, if, and since. USING THE PASSIVE VOICE Passive-voice verbs enable you to depersonalize an action. Whereas the active voice focuses attention on a person (We don’t give cash refunds), the passive voice highlights the action (Cash refunds are not given because . . .). Use the passive voice for the bad news. In some instances you can combine passive-voice verbs and a subordinate clause: Although franchise scoop shop owners cannot be required to lower their ice cream prices, we are happy to pass along your comments for their consideration. ACCENTUATING THE POSITIVE As you learned earlier, messages are far more effective when you describe what you can do instead of what you can’t do. Rather than We will no longer allow credit card purchases, try a more positive appeal: We are now selling gasoline at discount cash prices.

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IMPLYING THE REFUSAL It’s sometimes possible to avoid a direct statement of refusal. Often, your reasons and explanations leave no doubt that a request has been denied. Explicit refusals may be unnecessary and at times cruel. In this refusal to contribute to a charity, for example, the writer never actually says no: Because we will soon be moving into new offices in Glendale, all our funds are earmarked for relocation costs. We hope that next year we’ll be able to support your worthwhile charity. The danger of an implied refusal, of course, is that it is so subtle that the reader misses it. Be certain that you make the bad news clear, thus preventing the need for further correspondence. SUGGESTING A COMPROMISE OR AN ALTERNATIVE A refusal is not so depressing—for the sender or the receiver—if a suitable compromise, substitute, or alternative is available. In denying permission to a group of students to visit a historical private residence, for instance, this writer softens the bad news by proposing an alternative: Although private tours of the grounds are not given, we do open the house and its gardens for one charitable event in the fall. You can further reduce the impact of the bad news by refusing to dwell on it. Present it briefly (or imply it), and move on to your closing.

Closing Pleasantly After explaining the bad news sensitively, close the message with a pleasant statement that promotes goodwill. The closing should be personalized and may include a forward look, an alternative, good wishes, freebies, resale information, or an off-thesubject remark. FORWARD LOOK Closings to bad-news messages might include a forward look, an alternative, good wishes, freebies, and resale or sales promotion information.

Anticipate future relations or business. A letter that refuses a contract proposal might read: Thanks for your bid. We look forward to working with your talented staff when future projects demand your special expertise. ALTERNATIVE If an alternative exists, end your letter with follow-through advice. For example, in a letter rejecting a customer’s demand for replacement of landscaping plants, you might say: I will be happy to give you a free inspection and consultation. Please call 746-8112 to arrange a date for my visit. GOOD WISHES A letter rejecting a job candidate might read: We appreciate your interest in our company, and we extend to you our best wishes in your search to find the perfect match between your skills and job requirements. FREEBIES When customers complain—primarily about food products or small consumer items— companies often send coupons, samples, or gifts to restore confidence and to promote future business. In response to a customer’s complaint about a frozen dinner, you could write: Your loyalty and your concern about our frozen entrées is genuinely appreciated. Because we want you to continue enjoying our healthful and convenient dinners, we’re enclosing a coupon that you can take to your local market to select your next Green Valley entrée.

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RESALE OR SALES PROMOTION When the bad news is not devastating or personal, references to resale information or promotion may be appropriate: The computer workstations you ordered are unusually popular because of their stain-, heat-, and scratch-resistant finishes. To help you locate hard-to-find accessories for these workstations, we invite you to visit our Web site where our online catalog provides a huge selection of surge suppressors, multiple outlet strips, security devices, and PC tool kits. Avoid endings that sound canned, insincere, inappropriate, or self-serving. Don’t invite further correspondence (If you have any questions, do not hesitate . . .), and don’t refer to the bad news. To review these suggestions for delivering bad news sensitively, take another look at Figure 8.2 on page 206.

REFUSING ROUTINE REQUESTS AND CLAIMS Every business communicator will occasionally have to say no to a request. Depending on how you think the receiver will react to your refusal, you can use the direct or the indirect pattern. If you have any doubt, use the indirect pattern and the following writing plan:

Writing Plan for Refusing Routine Requests and Claims

• • •

•

Buffer: Start with a neutral statement on which both reader and writer can agree, such as a compliment, appreciation, a quick review of the facts, or an apology. Try to include a key idea or word that acts as a transition to the reasons. Reasons: Present valid reasons for the refusal, avoiding words that create a negative tone. Include resale or sales promotion material if appropriate. Bad news: Soften the blow by de-emphasizing the bad news, using the passive voice, accentuating the positive, or implying a refusal. Suggest a compromise, alternative, or substitute if possible. The alternative may be part of the bad news or part of the closing. Closing: Renew good feelings with a positive statement. Avoid referring to the bad news. Look forward to continued business.

Rejecting Requests for Favors, Money, Information, and Action The reasons-before-refusal pattern works well when turning down requests for favors, money, information, or action.

Most of us prefer to be let down gently when we’re being refused something we want. That’s why the reasons-before-refusal pattern works well when you must turn down requests for favors, money, information, action, and so forth. SAYING NO TO REQUESTS FROM OUTSIDERS Requests for contributions to charity are common. Many big and small companies receive requests for contributions of money, time, equipment, and support. Although the causes may be worthy, resources are usually limited. In a letter from Forest Financial Services, shown in Figure 8.3, the company must refuse a request for a donation to a charity. Following the indirect strategy, the letter begins with a buffer acknowledging the request. It also praises the good works of the charity and uses those words as a transition to the second paragraph. In the second paragraph the writer explains why the company cannot donate. Notice that the writer reveals the refusal without actually stating it (Because of sales declines and organizational downsizing, we’re forced to take a much harder look at funding requests that we receive this year). This gentle refusal makes it unnecessary to be more blunt in stating the denial. In some donation refusal letters, the reasons may not be fully explained: Although we can’t provide financial support at this time, we all unanimously agree that the symphony orchestra contributes much to the community. The emphasis is on the

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FIGURE 8.3

Refusing Donation Request

211

FOREST FINANCIAL SERVICES 3410 Willow Grove Boulevard Philadelphia, PA 19137 215.593.4400 www.forestfinancial.com

November 14, 200x

Ms. Rachel Brown, Chair Montgomery County Chapter National Reye’s Syndrome Foundation 342 DeKalb Pike Blue Bell, PA 19422 Opens with praise and compliments

Transitions with repetition of key idea (good work)

Reveals refusal without actually stating it

Dear Ms. Brown: We appreciate your letter describing the good work your Montgomery County chapter of the National Reye’s Syndrome Foundation is doing in preventing and treating this serious affliction. Your organization is to be commended for its significant achievements resulting from the efforts of dedicated members. Supporting the good work of your organization and others, although unrelated to our business, is a luxury we have enjoyed in past years. Because of sales declines and organizational downsizing, we’re forced to take a much harder look at funding requests that we receive this year. We feel that we must focus our charitable contributions on areas that relate directly to our business. We’re hopeful that the worst days are behind us and that we’ll be able to renew our support for worthwhile projects like yours next year.

Doesn’t say yes or no

Explains sales decline and cutback in gifts

Closes graciously with forward look

Sincerely, Paul Rosenberg Vice President

symphony’s attributes rather than on an explanation for the refusal. In the letter shown in Figure 8.3, the writer felt a connection to the charity. Thus, he wanted to give a fuller explanation. If you were required to write frequent refusals, you might prepare a form letter, changing a few variables as needed. The refusal for a donation shown in Figure 8.3 could be adapted, using word processing equipment, to respond to other charity requests. REFUSING INTERNAL REQUESTS Internal request refusals focus on explanations and praise, maintaining a positive tone, and offering alternatives.

Just as managers must refuse requests from outsiders, they must also occasionally refuse requests from employees. In Figure 8.4 you see the first draft and revision of a message responding to a request from a key manager, Mark Stevenson. He wants permission to attend a conference. However, he can’t attend the conference because the timing is bad; he must be present at budget planning meetings scheduled for the same two weeks. Normally, this matter would be discussed in person. But Mark has been traveling among branch offices, and he hasn’t been in the office recently. The vice president’s first inclination was to send a quickie memo, as shown in Figure 8.4, and “tell it like it is.” In revising, the vice president realized that this

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Refusing an Internal Request

Corresponding at Work

before revision DATE:

July 2, 200x

TO:

Mark Stevenson Manager, Telecommunications

FROM:

Ann Wells-Freed VP, Management Information Systems

SUBJECT: CONFERENCE REQUEST Announces the bad news too quickly and painfully

We can’t allow you to attend the conference in September, Mark. Perhaps you didn’t know that budget-planning meetings are scheduled for that month.

Gives reasons, but includes a dangerous statement

Your expertise is needed here to help keep our telecommunications network on schedule. Without you, the entire system—which is shaky at best—might fall apart. I’m sorry to have to refuse your request to attend the conference. I know this is small thanks for the fine work you have done for us. Please accept our humble apologies. In the spring I’m sure your work schedule will be lighter, and we can release you to attend a conference at that time.

Makes a promise that might be difficult to keep

after revision

DATE:

July 2, 200x

TO:

Mark Stevenson Manager, Telecommunications

FROM:

Ann Wells-Freed VP, Management Information Systems

SUBJECT: REQUEST TO ATTEND SEPTEMBER CONFERENCE

Transition: Uses date to move smoothly from buffer to reasons

Bad news: Implies refusal

Closing: Contains realistic alternative

The Management Council and I are extremely pleased with the leadership you have provided in setting up live video transmission to our regional offices. Because of your genuine professional commitment, Mark, I can understand your desire to attend the conference of the Telecommunication Specialists of America September 23 to 28 in Atlanta. The last two weeks in September have been set aside for budget planning. As you and I know, we’ve only scratched the surface of our teleconferencing projects for the next five years. Since you are the specialist and we rely heavily on your expertise, we need you here for those planning sessions. If you’re able to attend a similar conference in the spring and if our workloads permit, we’ll try to send you then. You’re a valuable player, Mark, and I’m grateful you’re on our MIS team.

Buffer: Includes sincere praise

Reasons: Tells why refusal is necessary

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message was going to hurt and that it had possible danger areas. Moreover, the memo misses a chance to give Mark positive feedback. An improved version of the memo starts with a buffer that delivers honest praise (pleased with your leadership and your genuine professional commitment). By the way, don’t be stingy with compliments; they cost you nothing. As a philosopher once observed, We don’t live by bread alone. We need buttering up once in a while. The buffer also includes the date of the meeting, used strategically to connect the reasons that follow. You will recall from Chapter 3 that repetition of a key idea is an effective transitional device to provide smooth flow between components of a message. The middle paragraph provides reasons for the refusal. Notice that these reasons focus on positive elements: Mark is the specialist; the company relies on his expertise; and everyone will benefit if he passes up the conference. In this section it becomes obvious that the request will be refused. The writer is not forced to say, No, you may not attend. Although the refusal is implied, the reader gets the message. The closing suggests a qualified alternative (if our workloads permit, we’ll try to send you then). It also ends positively with gratitude for Mark’s contributions to the organization and with another compliment (you’re a valuable player). Notice that the improved version focuses on explanations and praise rather than on refusals and apologies. The success of this message depends on attention to the entire writing process, not just on using a buffer or scattering a few compliments throughout.

BREAKING BAD NEWS TO CUSTOMERS Businesses must occasionally respond to disappointed customers. In Chapter 6 you learned to use the direct strategy in granting claims and making adjustments because these were essentially good-news messages. But in some situations you have little good news to share. Sometimes your company is at fault, in which case an apology is generally in order. Other times the problem is with orders you can’t fill, claims you must refuse, or credit you must deny. Messages with bad news for customers generally follow the same pattern as other negative messages. Customer letters, though, differ in one major way: they usually include resale or sales promotion information.

Controlling Damage With Disappointed Customers

When a customer problem arises and the company is at fault, many businesspeople call and apologize, explain what happened, and follow with a goodwill letter.

All companies occasionally disappoint their customers. Merchandise is not delivered on time, a product fails to perform as expected, service is deficient, charges are erroneous, or customers are misunderstood. All businesses offering products or services must sometimes deal with troublesome situations that cause unhappiness to customers. Whenever possible, these problems should be dealt with immediately and personally. A majority of business professionals strive to control the damage and resolve such problems in the following manner:11 • Call the individual involved. • Describe the problem and apologize. • Explain why the problem occurred, what you are doing to resolve it, and how you will prevent it from happening again. • Follow with a letter that documents the phone call and promotes goodwill. Dealing with problems immediately is very important in resolving conflict and retaining goodwill. Written correspondence is generally too slow for problems that demand immediate attention. But written messages are important (1) when personal contact is impossible, (2) to establish a record of the incident, (3) to formally confirm follow-up procedures, and (4) to promote good relations.

214

When something goes wrong in customer transactions and damage control is necessary, the first thing most businesspeople do is call the individual involved, discuss the problem, and apologize. Written messages follow up.

In denying claims, writers use the reasons-before-refusal pattern to set an empathic tone and buffer the bad news.

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A bad-news follow-up letter is shown in Figure 8.5. Consultant Maris Richfield found herself in the embarrassing position of explaining why she had given out the name of her client to a salesperson. The client, Data.com, Inc., had hired her firm, Richfield Consulting Services, to help find an appropriate service for outsourcing its payroll functions. Without realizing it, Maris had mentioned to a potential vendor (Payroll Services, Inc.) that her client was considering hiring an outside service to handle its payroll. An overeager salesperson from Payroll Services immediately called on Data.com, thus angering the client. The client had hired the consultant to avoid this very kind of intrusion. Data.com did not want to be hounded by vendors selling their payroll services. When she learned of the problem, the first thing consultant Maris Richfield did was call her client to explain and apologize. She was careful to control her voice and rate of speaking. A low-pitched, deliberate pace gives the impression that you are thinking clearly, logically, and reasonably—not emotionally and certainly not irrationally. But she also followed up with the letter shown in Figure 8.5. The letter not only confirmed the telephone conversation but also added the right touch of formality. It sent the nonverbal message that the matter was being taken seriously and that it was important enough to warrant a written letter.

Denying Claims Customers occasionally want something they’re not entitled to or something you can’t grant. They may misunderstand warranties or make unreasonable demands. Because these customers are often unhappy with a product or service, they are emotionally involved. Letters that say no to emotionally involved receivers will probably be your most challenging communication task. As publisher Malcolm Forbes observed, “To be agreeable while disagreeing—that’s an art.”12 Fortunately, the reasons-before-refusal plan helps you be empathic and artful in breaking bad news. Obviously, in denial letters you’ll need to adopt the proper tone. Don’t blame customers, even if they are at fault. Avoid you statements that sound preachy (You would have known that cash refunds are impossible if you had read your contract ). Use neutral, objective language to explain why the claim must be refused. Consider offering resale information to rebuild the customer’s confidence in your products or organization. In Figure 8.6 the writer denies a customer’s claim for the difference between the price the customer paid for speakers and the price he saw advertised locally (which would have resulted in a cash refund of $151). Although the catalog service does match any advertised lower price, the price-matching policy applies only to identical models. This claim must be rejected because the advertisement the customer submitted showed a different, older speaker model. The letter to Matthew Tyson opens with a buffer that agrees with a statement in the customer’s letter. It repeats the key idea of product confidence as a transition to the second paragraph. Next comes an explanation of the price-matching policy. The writer does not assume that the customer is trying to pull a fast one. Nor does he suggest that the customer is a dummy who didn’t read or understand the pricematching policy. The safest path is a neutral explanation of the policy along with precise distinctions between the customer’s speakers and the older ones. The writer also gets a chance to resell the customer’s speakers and demonstrate what a quality product they are. By the end of the third paragraph, it’s evident to the reader that his claim is unjustified.

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Bad-News Follow-Up Message

RICHFIELD CONSULTING SERVICES 4023 Rodeo Drive Plaza, Suite 404 Beverly Hills, CA 90640

Voice: 213.499.8224 Web: www.richfieldconsulting.com

October 23, 200x

Ms. Angela Ranier Vice President, Human Resources Data.com, Inc. 21067 Pacific Coast Highway Malibu, CA 90265 Dear Ms. Ranier: You have every right to expect complete confidentiality in your transactions with an independent consultant. As I explained in yesterday’s telephone call, I am distressed that you were called by a salesperson from Payroll Services, Inc. This should not have happened, and I apologize to you again for inadvertently mentioning your company’s name in a conversation with a potential vendor, Payroll Services, Inc. All clients of Richfield Consulting may be sure that we handle all their dealings in the strictest confidence. Because your company’s payroll needs are so individual and because you have so many contract workers, I had to explain how your employees differed from those of other companies. The name of your company, however, should never have been mentioned. I can assure you that it will not happen again. I have informed Payroll Services that it had no authorization to call you directly, and its actions have forced me to reconsider using its services for my future clients. A number of other payroll services offer excellent programs. I’m sure we can find the perfect partner to enable you to outsource your payroll responsibilities, thus allowing your company to focus its financial and human resources on its core business. I look forward to our next appointment when you may choose from a number of excellent payroll outsourcing firms.

Opens with agreement and apology

Explains what caused problem and how it was resolved

Promises to prevent recurrence

Closes with forward look

Sincerely yours,

Maris Richfield

Tips for Resolving Problems and Following Up • • • • • • •

Whenever possible, call or see the individual involved. Describe the problem and apologize. Explain why the problem occurred. Explain what you are doing to resolve it. Explain how it will not happen again. Follow up with a letter that documents the personal message. Look forward to positive future relations.

Refusing Credit As much as companies want business, they can extend credit only when payment is likely to follow. Credit applications, from individuals or from businesses, are generally approved or disapproved on the basis of the applicant’s credit history. This record is supplied by a credit-reporting agency, such as Experian, Equifax, or TransUnion.

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Denying a Claim

Corresponding at Work

February 19, 200x Mr. Matthew R. Tyson 5801 Hollywood Boulevard Pembroke Pines, FL 33025 Combines agreement with resale Explains pricematching policy and how reader’s purchase is different from lower-priced model Without actually saying no, shows why reader’s claim can’t be honored

Builds reader’s confidence in wisdom of purchase

Continues resale; looks forward to future business

Dear Mr. Tyson: You’re right, Mr. Tyson. We do take pride in selling the finest products at rock-bottom prices. The Boze speakers you purchased last month are premier concert hall speakers. They’re the only ones we present in our catalog because they’re the best. We have such confidence in our products and prices that we offer the price-matching policy you mention in your letter of February 15. That policy guarantees a refund of the price difference if you see one of your purchases offered at a lower price for 30 days after your purchase. To qualify for that refund, customers are asked to send us an advertisement or verifiable proof of the product price and model. As our catalog states, this price-matching policy applies only to exact models with U.S.A. warranties. Our Boze AM-5 II speakers sell for $749. You sent us a local advertisement showing a price of $598 for Boze speakers. This advertisement, however, describes an earlier version, the Boze AM-4 model. The AM-5 speakers you received have a wider dynamic range and smoother frequency response than the AM-4 model. Naturally, the improved model you purchased costs a little more than the older AM-4 model that the local advertisement describes. Your speakers have a new three-chamber bass module that virtually eliminates harmonic distortion. Finally, your speakers are 20 percent more compact than the AM-4 model. You bought the finest compact speakers on the market, Mr. Tyson. If you haven’t installed them yet, you may be interested in ceiling mounts, shown in the enclosed catalog on page 48. For the most up-to-date prices and product information, please see our online catalog at our prize-winning Web site. We value your business and invite your continued comparison shopping.

Buffer

Reasons

Implied refusal

Positive closing

Sincerely yours, Rick K. Thalman Customer Service mmt Enclosure

Goals when refusing credit include maintaining customer goodwill and avoiding actionable language.

After reviewing the applicant’s record, a credit manager applies the organization’s guidelines and approves or disapproves the application. If you must deny credit to prospective customers, you have four goals in conveying the refusal: • Avoiding language that causes hard feelings • Retaining customers on a cash basis • Preparing for possible future credit without raising false expectations • Avoiding disclosures that could cause a lawsuit Because credit applicants are likely to continue to do business with an organization even if they are denied credit, you’ll want to do everything possible to encourage that patronage. Thus, keep the refusal respectful, sensitive, and upbeat. A letter to a customer denying her credit application might begin as follows: We genuinely appreciate your application of January 12 for a Fashion Express credit account. To avoid possible litigation, many companies offer no explanation of the reasons for a credit refusal. Instead, they provide the name of the credit-reporting agency and suggest that inquiries be directed to it. In the following example notice the use of

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passive voice (credit cannot be extended) and a long sentence to de-emphasize the bad news: After we received a report of your current credit record from Experian, it is apparent that credit cannot be extended at this time. To learn more about your record, you may call an Experian credit counselor at (212) 356-0922. A cordial closing looks forward to the possibility of a future reapplication: Thanks, Ms. Love, for the confidence you’ve shown in Fashion Express. We invite you to continue shopping at our stores, and we look forward to your reapplication in the future. Some businesses do provide reasons explaining credit denials (Credit cannot be granted because your firm’s current and long-term credit obligations are nearly twice as great as your firm’s total assets). They may also provide alternatives, such as deferred billing or cash discounts. When the letter denies a credit application that accompanies an order, the message may contain resale information. The writer tries to convert the order from credit to cash. For example, if a big order cannot be filled on a credit basis, perhaps part of the order could be filled on a cash basis. Whatever form the bad-news letter takes, it’s a good idea to have the message reviewed by legal counsel because of the litigation land mines awaiting unwary communicators in this area.

BREAKING BAD NEWS TO EMPLOYEES

A primary goal in delivering bad news to employees is retaining their goodwill and trust.

Printed memos are effective in delivering negative organizational news because they convey a formal tone and produce a permanent record.

A tactful tone and a reasons-first approach help preserve friendly relations with customers. These same techniques are useful when delivering bad news to employees. Bad news to employees might include increased health care costs, reduced benefits, downsizing, or a hiring freeze. It might involve telling employees about a relocation, declining profits, lost contracts, harmful lawsuits, public relations controversies, or a host of other problems and issues. If you must deliver bad news to employees, one of your primary goals is retaining their goodwill and trust. You are most likely to achieve this goal if you convey the bad news candidly, quickly, and sympathetically. Although you should use softening techniques, don’t delay delivering bad news. Employee morale suffers when employees hear bad news through the grapevine rather than from management. You can also retain employee goodwill by explaining logically the reasons for the bad news and by using the techniques you have learned to soften the blow. When routine bad news must be delivered to employees, management may want to deliver the news personally. With large groups, however, a face-to-face presentation is generally impossible. Instead, organizations generally deliver bad news through printed memos. More effective than e-mail, printed memos achieve a formal, serious, and professional tone as well as provide a permanent record. The following writing plan helps writers soften negative organizational news while retaining employee goodwill.

Writing Plan for Announcing Bad News to Employees

• • • •

Buffer: Open with a neutral or positive statement that transitions to the reasons for the bad news. Consider mentioning the best news, a compliment, appreciation, agreement, or solid facts. Show understanding. Reasons: Explain the logic behind the bad news. Provide a rational explanation using positive words and displaying empathy. If possible, mention reader benefits. Bad News: Position the bad news so that it does not stand out. Be positive but don’t sugarcoat the bad news. Use objective language. Closing: Provide information about an alternative, if one exists. If appropriate, describe what will happen next. Look forward positively.

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The draft of the memo shown in Figure 8.7 announces a substantial increase in the cost of employee health care benefits. However, the memo suffers from many writing faults. It announces jolting news bluntly in the first sentence. Worse, it offers little or no explanation for the steep increase in costs. It also sounds insincere (We did everything possible . . .) and arbitrary. In a final miscue, the writer fails to give credit to the company for absorbing previous health cost increases. The revision of this bad-news memo uses the indirect pattern and improves the tone considerably. Notice that it opens with a relevant, upbeat, neutral buffer regarding health care—but says nothing about increasing costs. For a smooth transition, the second paragraph begins with a key idea from the opening (comprehensive package). The reasons section explains rising costs with logical explanation. The bad news (you will be paying $250 a month) is clearly presented but presented in a dependent clause embedded within the paragraph. Throughout, the writer strives to show the fairness of the company’s position. The ending, which does not refer to the bad news, emphasizes how much the company is paying and what a wise investment it is. Notice that the entire memo demonstrates a kinder, gentler approach than that shown in the first draft. Of prime importance in breaking bad news to employees is providing clear, convincing reasons that explain the decision.

ETHICS AND THE INDIRECT STRATEGY

The indirect strategy is unethical only if the writer intends to deceive the reader.

You may worry that the indirect organizational strategy is unethical or manipulative because the writer deliberately delays the main idea. But consider the alternative. Breaking bad news bluntly can cause pain and hard feelings. By delaying bad news, you soften the blow somewhat, as well as ensure that your reasoning will be read while the receiver is still receptive. One expert communicator recognized the significance of the indirect strategy when she said, “People must believe the reasons why before they will listen to the details of what and when.”13 In using the indirect strategy, your motives are not to deceive the reader or to hide the news. Rather, your goal is to be a compassionate, yet effective communicator. The key to ethical communication lies in the motives of the sender. Unethical communicators intend to deceive. For example, Victoria’s Secret, the clothing and lingerie chain, offered free $10 gift certificates. However, when customers tried to cash the certificates, they found that they were required to make a minimum purchase of $50 worth of merchandise.14 For this misleading, deceptive, and unethical offer, the chain paid a $100,000 fine. Although the indirect strategy provides a setting in which to announce bad news, it should not be used to avoid or misrepresent the truth.

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FIGURE 8.7

Announcing Bad News to Employees

before revision Hits readers with bad news without any preparation

Beginning January 1 your monthly payment for health care benefits will be increased to $250 a month.

Offers no explanation

Every year health care costs go up. Although we considered dropping other benefits, Midland decided that the best plan was to keep the present comprehensive package. Unfortunately, we can’t do that unless we pass along some of the extra cost to you. Last year the company was forced to absorb the total increase in health care premiums. However, we can’t continue down this destructive path.

Sounds defensive and arbitrary

We did everything possible to avoid the sharp increase in costs to you this year. A rate schedule describing the increases in payments for your family and dependents is enclosed.

Fails to take credit for absorbing previous increases

after revision interoffice MEMORANDUM

Begins with neutral but positive buffer that leads to reasons

Offers reasons explaining why costs are rising

Embeds bad news but doesn’t sugarcoat it

Suggests some reader benefits to offset bad news

Ends positively by stressing the company’s major share of the costs

DATE:

October 2, 200x

TO:

Fellow Employees

FROM:

Isaak W. Brown, President

SUBJECT:

Maintaining Quality Health Care

Health care programs have always been an important part of our commitment to employees at Northern, Inc. We’re proud that our total benefits package continues to rank among the best in the country. Such a comprehensive package does not come cheaply. In the last decade health care premiums have risen nearly 10 percent every year. We’re told that many factors fuel the cost spiral: higher hospital costs, increased use of prescription drugs, stricter state and government mandates, and costly defensive medicine techniques to avoid malpractice lawsuits. Just two years ago our monthly health care cost for each employee was $415. It rose to $469 last year. We were able to absorb that jump without increasing your contribution. This year’s hike to $539, however, forces us to ask you to share the increase. Although you will be paying $250 a month to maintain your current health care benefits, the major portion of your coverage is still paid by Northern. The enclosed rate schedule describes costs and benefits for families and dependents. You’ll notice that we have been able to add a new convenient benefit. You may now order maintenance prescriptions by mail—up to a 90-day supply for a small co-pay. You can learn more about your benefits and find answers to your questions at the Northern intranet site. Northern continues to pay the major portion of your health care program because we think it’s a wise investment. You can count on us to be constantly searching for ways to maintain current levels of benefits while controlling costs. Enclosure

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SUMMING UP AND LOOKING FORWARD When faced with delivering bad news, you have a choice. You can announce it immediately, or you can delay it by presenting a buffer and reasons first. Many business communicators prefer the indirect strategy because it tends to preserve goodwill. In some instances, however, the direct strategy is effective in delivering bad news. In this chapter you learned the goals in communicating bad news and how to avoid creating legal problems. You studied many techniques for delivering bad news sensitively. Then, you learned to apply those techniques in refusing requests from outsiders (routine requests for favors, money, information,

and action) as well as refusing internal requests. You studied techniques for breaking bad news to customers, denying claims, refusing credit, and delivering bad news to employees. Finally, you were taught to distinguish unethical applications of the indirect strategy. You have now completed the unit on corresponding at work, which included e-mail messages and memorandums, direct letters and goodwill messages, persuasive messages, and negative messages. In the next chapter, you will learn to report workplace data in informal reports.

CRITICAL THINKING 1. Nearly all respondents in a survey of business professionals said that every effort should be made to resolve business problems in person.15 Why is this logical? 2. Consider times when you have been aware that others have used the indirect pattern in writing or speaking to you. How did you react? 3. Why is the “reasons” section of a bad-news message so important?

5. You work for a large corporation with headquarters in a small town. Recently you received shoddy repair work and a huge bill from a local garage. Your car’s transmission has the same problems that it did before you took it in for repair. You know that a complaint letter written on your corporation’s stationery would be much more authoritative than one written on plain stationery. Should you use corporation stationery? Why or why not?

4. Some people feel that all employee news, good or bad, should be announced directly. Do you agree or disagree? Why?

CHAPTER REVIEW 6. Explain a business communicator’s four goals in communicating bad news.

7. List the four main parts of the indirect pattern for revealing bad news.

8. List six instances when a writer should announce bad news directly.

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9. What is defamation? How is libel different from slander?

10. List seven possibilities for opening bad-news messages.

11. List at least five words that might affect readers negatively.

12. How can the passive voice be used effectively in bad-news messages? Provide an original example.

13. List five techniques for closing a bad-news message.

14. List four steps that many business professionals follow in resolving business problems.

15. What is one of the writer’s primary goals in delivering bad news to employees?

WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES Passive-Voice Verbs Passive-voice verbs may be preferable in breaking bad news because they enable you to emphasize actions rather than personalities. Compare these two refusals: Example Example

Active voice: I cannot authorize you to take three weeks of vacation in July. Passive voice: Three weeks of vacation in July cannot be authorized.

Revise the following refusals so that they use passive-voice instead of active-voice verbs. 16. We do not allow used merchandise to be returned or exchanged.

17. Managers may not advertise any job openings until those positions have first been posted internally.

18. Your car rental insurance does not cover large SUVs.

19. We cannot meet the sales income projected for the fourth quarter.

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20. Titan Insurance Company will not process any claim not accompanied by documented proof showing that a physician treated the injuries.

Subordinate Clauses You can further soften the effect of bad news by placing it in an introductory subordinate clause that begins with although, since, or because. The emphasis in a sentence is on the independent clause. Instead of saying We cannot serve you on a credit basis, try Because we cannot serve you on a credit basis, we invite you to take advantage of our cash discounts and sale prices. Revise the following so that the bad news is de-emphasized in a dependent clause that precedes an independent clause. 21. Unfortunately, we cannot accept personal checks or unauthorized credit. We encourage you to submit your credit application online before coming to the eBay auction.

22. We appreciate your interest in our organization, but we are unable to extend an employment offer to you at this time.

23. It is impossible for us to ship your complete order at this time. However, we are able to send the two armless task chairs immediately.

24. Air Pacific cannot possibly honor the $51 flight to Fiji that erroneously appeared on Travelocity. We are eager, however, to provide a compromise price to customers who booked the erroneous price.

Implied Refusals Bad news can be de-emphasized by implying a refusal instead of stating it directly. Compare these refusals: Example Example

Direct refusal: We cannot send you a price list, nor can we sell our lawn mowers directly to customers. We sell only through dealers, and your dealer is HomeCo. Implied refusal: Our lawn mowers are sold only through dealers, and your dealer is HomeCo.

Revise the following refusals so that the bad news is implied. If possible, use passive-voice verbs and subordinate clauses to further de-emphasize the bad news. 25. Because of the holiday period, all our billboard space was used this month. Therefore, we are sorry to say that we could not give your charitable group free display space. However, next month, after the holidays, we hope to display your message as we promised.

26. We have received your application to enroll your spouse as a dependent in the group insurance plan. But we must reject it because you just missed the deadline. Applications will not be accepted again until January 1, at which time you may enroll your wife.

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27. We will not be able to make a pledge in the annual St. John’s fund-raising campaign this year. At this time our cash is tied up in building a new production facility in Southport. We look forward to being able to support your campaign in coming years.

WRITING IMPROVEMENT CASES

8.1 Favor Refusal: Can’t Share Software Sue Wang must refuse the request of some staff engineers. They want to copy for home use the latest version of Adobe Photoshop, an expensive licensed software program that her department just received. Your Task. Analyze Sue’s message. It suffers from many writing faults that you have studied. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message.

To:

Staff Computer Users

From:

Sue Wang, Manager, Document Production

Subject:

Software Sharing Violates the Law

Unfortunately, I cannot allow copies of our new Adobe Photoshop software to be made for home use. Or for any other use. Some staffers have asked for this privilege. Which is against the law. This software program has many outstanding features, and I would be happy to demonstrate some of it to anyone who drops by the Document Production Department. Allowing this software to be copied violates company policy as well as the law. Like many licensed products today, it forbids and prohibits copying of all kinds. We have two copies, but we can’t even make copies for other computers within our department. And especially not for home use! If you stop and think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Software companies would not be in business for long if it allowed wholesale copying. Eventually, they would not earn enough money to stay in business. Or to develop new software. This memo is to inform you that we cannot allow copies of Adobe Photoshop to be made due to the fact that we agreed to limit its use to one single machine. Thank you for your cooperation.

1. List at least five weaknesses in this e-mail message.

2. Outline a plan for writing a refusal to a request. Buffer: Reasons: Bad news:

Closing:

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WRITING COACH

STEP-BY-STEP DEMONSTRATION

Refusing a Favor Request

Problem As chief of regional marketing for LaserScope, a highly successful technology firm, you received a request from Emily Decker, feature writer for Business Management Weekly. Emily is researching an article about young sales stars. Your company has a number of high-flying sales reps pulling down six-figure salaries, based on their combined salary and commissions. But you can’t single out sales reps, and you certainly can’t reveal their salaries. You are surprised that anyone would make such a request. Many years ago sales reps and management reached an agreement to keep the terms of all their contracts strictly confidential. On the other hand, you would like very much to see your company featured in Business Management Weekly. You wonder how you can refuse the request but retain the possibility for public exposure. When you talk with Haley Adkinson, one of your product managers, she says, “Why not just send a fact sheet that tells a little something about the current top salespeople, and let it go at that?”

before revision Dear Ms. Decker: Don’t turn off reader with blunt, accusatory tone and refusal

We cannot release salary information because such disclosure would violate our employee’s privacy and lead to lawsuits. However, the article you are researching for Business Management Weekly sounds fascinating. And will be most interesting to it’s readers. As a matter of fact, we are

Open with neutral statement or compliment

flattered that you wish to include LaserScope. You may be interested to know that we have many outstanding young salespeople––some are male and some are female—who command top salaries.

Explain reasons before announcing refusal

I cannot reveal private employee information because each of our salespeople operate under an individual salary contract. This is a result of salary negotiations several years ago. During those negotiations an agreement was reached that both sales staff members and management were in agreement to keep the terms of these individual contracts confidential. For obvious reasons, we cannot release specific salaries and commission rates. It has been suggested, however, that we can provide you with a list that is

Try to soften the bad news with an alternative

a ranking of our top salespeople for a period of the passed five years. And three of the top salespeople are currently under the age of thirty-five. Don’t repeat the bad news in the closing

We are sorry that we cannot help you more with your fascinating research. Enclosed is a fact sheet in regard to our top salespeople, and we wish you every success with your article. It would be terrific to see LaserScope represented in it. Do not hesitate to call me if you need more info. Cordially,

End positively by focusing on alternative and looking forward

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Writing Plan Suggest a compromise, alternative, or substitute if possible.

BUFFER Start with a neutral statement. Begin with a compliment, appreciation, or a quick review of the facts.

REASONS Present valid reasons for refusal. Explain logically why the request must be refused. Avoid words that create a negative tone.

CLOSING Renew good feelings with a positive statement. Avoid referring to the bad news. Look forward to continued relations.

BAD NEWS De-emphasize the bad news. Soften the bad news by using the passive voice, accentuating the positive, or implying the refusal.

after revision LASERSCOPE ENTERPRISES 3457 FREEPORT BOULEVARD SACRAMENTO, CA 95823-3457

(916) (389-2000) www.LASERSCOPE.COM

October 27, 200x

Ms. Emily Decker 2415 Jefferson Road Rochester, NY 14623 Dear Ms. Decker: The article you are now researching for Business Management Weekly sounds fascinating and will be most interesting to its readers. We are flattered that you wish to include some of LaserScope’s top salespeople. We have many outstanding young salespeople, both male and female, who command top salaries. Each of our salespeople operates under an individual salary contract. During salary negotiations several years ago, both sales staff members and management agreed to keep the terms of these individual contracts confidential. Although specific salaries and commission rates cannot be released, we can provide you with a ranked list of our top salespeople for the past five years. Three of the current top salespeople are under the age of thirty-five. Enclosed is a fact sheet about our top salespeople. We wish you every success with your article, and we hope to see LaserScope represented in it. Please call me on my cell at (916) 683-2971 if you need more information. Cordially,

Mitchell M. Haddad Regional Marketing Chief Enclosure

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8.2 Request Refusal: Long-Time Customer Asks for Too Much Analyze the following letter. List its weaknesses and outline a writing plan. Revise the letter if your instructor directs. Current date Ms. Ashley Puckett, Manager Desert Design and Contracting 202 New Stine Road N. Las Vegas, NV 89030 Dear Ms. Puckett: Unfortunately, we cannot allow you to convert the payments you have been making on your Canon X1000 color copier toward its purchase, much as we would love to do so. We understand that you have been making regular payments for the past 14 months. We operate under a firm company policy prohibiting such conversion of leasing monies. Perhaps you have noticed that we offer extremely low leasing and purchase prices. Obviously, these low prices would never be possible if we agreed to many proposals such as yours. Because we would like to stay in business, we cannot agree to your request asking us to convert all 14 months of rental payments toward the purchase of our popular new equipment. We understand, Ms. Puckett, that you have had the Canon X1000 color copier for 14 months, and you claim that it has been reliable and versatile. We would like to tell you about another Canon model—one that is perhaps closer to your limited budget. Sincerely,

1. List at least five weaknesses in this letter.

2. Outline a plan for writing a refusal to a request. Buffer: Reasons: Bad News:

Closing:

8.3 Claim Denial: Bed Body Blots Analyze the following letter. List its weaknesses and outline a writing plan. Then revise it so that it could be used to answer other, similar letters. Current date Mrs. Christina Esteves 340 South Cobb Drive Marietta, GA 30060

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Dear Mrs. Esteves: I have before me your letter of September 22 demanding repair or replacement for your newly purchased BeautyTest mattress. You say that you enjoy sleeping on it, but in the morning when you and your husband get up, you claim that the mattress has body “blots” that remain all day. Unfortunately, Mrs. Esteves, we can neither repair nor replace your mattress because those impressions are perfectly normal. If you will read your warranty carefully, you will find this statement: “Slight body impressions will appear with use and are not indicative of structural failure. The body-conforming coils and comfortcushioning materials are beginning to work for you and impressions are caused by the natural settling of these materials.” When you purchased your mattress, I’m sure your salesperson told you that the BeautyTest mattress has a unique, scientifically designed system of individually pocketed coils that provide separate support for each person occupying the bed. This unusual construction, with those hundreds of independently operating coils, reacts to every body contour, providing luxurious comfort. At the same time, this system provides firm support. It is this unique design that’s causing the body impressions that you see when you get up in the morning. We never repair or replace a mattress when it merely shows slight impressions. We can, however, send our representative out to inspect your mattress, if it would make you feel better. Please call for an appointment at 1-800-433-9831. Remember, on a BeautyTest mattress you get the best night’s rest possible. Cordially, 1. List at least five weaknesses in this letter.

2. Outline a writing plain for refusing a claim and announcing bad news to customers. Buffer: Reasons: Bad news: Closing:

ACTIVITIES AND CASES CRITICAL THINKING

8.4 Request Refusal: Thumbs Down on PDAs for Charleston Agents George R. Hollings, president of Hollings Carolina Realty, is not keen on using technology to sell real estate. As you learned in Chapter 7, Activity 7.6, he was asked to purchase PDAs plus software and monthly updates for all 18 staff members of his firm. He did the math and figured that the cost would be something like $6,000 for the initial investment plus $4,000 per year for updates. That’s a lot of money for technology that he’s not convinced is needed. He appreciated the tactful, logical, and persuasive memo that he received from a talented agent requesting this PDA support. He wants to respond in writing because he can control exactly what he says and a written response is more forceful. His memo will also make a permanent record of this decision, in case agents make similar requests in the future. The more he ponders the request, the more Mr. Hollings thinks that this kind of investment in software and hardware should be made by agents themselves—not by the agency. Your Task. Put yourself in the place of Mr. Hollings and write a refusal that retains the goodwill of the agent yet makes it clear that this request cannot be granted.

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8.5 Request Refusal: Carnival Rejects Under-21 Crowd The world’s largest cruise line finds itself in a difficult position. Carnival climbed to the No. 1 spot by promoting fun at sea and pitching its appeal to younger customers who were drawn to on-board discos, swim-up bars, and hassle-free partying. But apparently the partying of high school and college students went too far. Roving bands of teens had virtually taken over some cruises in recent years. Travel agents complained of “drunken, loud behavior,” as reported by Mike Driscall, editor of Cruise Week. To crack down, Carnival raised the drinking age from 18 to 21 and required more chaperoning of school groups. Young individual travelers, however, were still unruly and disruptive. Thus, Carnival instituted a new policy, effective immediately. No one under 21 may travel unless accompanied by an adult over 25. Says Vicki Freed, Carnival’s vice president for marketing, “We will turn them back at the docks, and they will not get refunds.” As Eric Rivera, a Carnival marketing manager, you must respond to the inquiry of Sheryl Kiklas of All-World Travel, a New York travel agency that features special spring- and summer-break packages for college and high school students. All-World Travel has been one of Carnival’s best customers. However, Carnival no longer wants to encourage unaccompanied young people. You must refuse the request of Ms. Kiklas to help set up student tour packages. Carnival discourages even chaperoned tours. Its real market is now family packages. You must write to All-World Travel and break the bad news. Try to promote fun-filled, carefree cruises destined for sunny, exotic ports of call that remove guests from the stresses of everyday life. By the way, Carnival attracts more passengers than any other cruise line—over a million people a year from all over the world. Over 98 percent of Carnival’s guests say that they were well satisfied. Your Task. Write your letter to Sheryl Kiklas, All-World Travel Agency, 440 East Broadway, New York, NY 10014. Send her a schedule for spring and summer Caribbean cruises. Tell her you will call during the week of January 5 to help her plan special family tour packages.16 CRITICAL THINKING

INFOTRAC

WEB

8.6 Request Refusal: Evict Loud Music Fan? As the owner of Peachtree Business Plaza, you must respond to the request of Michael Vazquez, one of the tenants in your three-story office building. Mr. Vazquez, a CPA, demands that you immediately evict a neighboring tenant who plays loud music throughout the day, interfering with Mr. Vazquez’s conversations with clients and with his concentration. The noisy tenant, Anthony Chomko, seems to operate an entertainment booking agency and spends long hours in his office. You know you can’t evict Mr. Chomko because, as a legal commercial tenant, he is entitled to conduct his business. However, you might consider adding soundproofing, an expense that you would prefer to share with Mr. Chomko and Mr. Vazquez. You might also discuss limiting the time of day that Mr. Chomko could make noise. Your Task. Before responding to Mr. Vazquez, you decide to find out more about commercial tenancy. Use InfoTrac and the Web to search the keywords “Commercial Eviction.” Then develop a course of action. In writing to Mr. Vazquez, deny his request but retain his goodwill. Tell him how you plan to resolve the problem. Write to Michael Vazquez, CPA, Suite 230, Peachtree Business Plaza, 116 Krog Street, Atlanta, GA 30307. Your instructor may also ask you to write an appropriate message to Mr. Anthony Chomko, Suite 225.

8.7 Claim Denial: Refusing Wounded Buffalo and Pygmy Circus Refund As manager of Promotions and Advertising, Five Flags Lake Point Park, you must respond to a recent letter. Nataleigh Haggard complained that she was “taken” by Five Flags when the park had to substitute performers for the Wounded Buffalo and Pygmy Circus “Summertime Slam” performance Sunday, July 4. Explain to her that the concert was planned by an independent promoter. Your only obligation was to provide the theater facility and advertising. Three days before the event, the promoter left town, taking with him all advance payments from financial backers. As it turned out, many of the artists he had promised to deliver were not even planning to attend. Left with a messy situation, you decided on Thursday to go ahead with a modified version of the event since you had been advertising it and many would come expecting some kind of talent. At that time you changed your radio advertising to say that for reasons beyond your control, the Wounded Buffalo and Pygmy Circus bands would not be appearing. You described the new talent and posted signs at the entrance and in the parking lot announcing the change. Contrary to Ms. Haggard’s claim, no newspaper advertising featuring Wounded Buffalo or the Pigs appeared on the day of the concert (at least you did not pay for any to appear

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that day). Somehow she must have missed your corrective radio advertising and signs at the entrance. You feel you made a genuine effort to communicate the changed program. In your opinion, most people who attended the concert thought that Five Flags had done everything possible to salvage a rather unfortunate situation. Ms. Haggard wants a cash refund of $150 (two tickets at $75 each). Five Flags has a no-money-back policy on concerts after the event takes place. If Ms. Haggard had come to the box office before the event started, you could have returned her money. But she stayed to see the concert. She claims that she didn’t know anything about the talent change until after the event was well underway. This sounds unlikely, but you don’t quarrel with customers. Nevertheless, you can’t give her cash back. You already took a loss on this event. But you can give two complimentary passes to Five Flags Lake Point Park. Your Task. Write a refusal letter to Ms. Nataleigh Haggard, 9684 Middletown Road, Germantown, OH 45327. Invite her and a friend to return as guests under happier circumstances.

8.8 Customer Bad News: J. Crew Goofs on Cashmere Turtleneck Who wouldn’t want a cashmere zip turtleneck sweater for $18? At the J. Crew Web site, many delighted shoppers scrambled to order the bargain cashmere. Unfortunately, the price should have been $218! Before J. Crew officials could correct the mistake, several hundred e-shoppers had bagged the bargain sweater for their digital shopping carts. When the mistake was discovered, J. Crew immediately sent an e-mail message to the soon-to-be disappointed shoppers. The subject line shouted “Big Mistake!” Emily Woods, chairwoman of J. Crew, began her message with this statement: “I wish we could sell such an amazing sweater for only $18. Our price mistake on your new cashmere zip turtleneck probably went right by you, but rather than charge you such a large difference, I’m writing to alert you that this item has been removed from your recent order.” As an assistant in the communication department at J. Crew, you saw the e-mail message that was sent to customers and you tactfully suggested that the bad news might have been broken differently. Your boss says, “OK, hot stuff. Give it your best shot.” Your Task. Although you have only a portion of the message, analyze the customer bad-news message sent by J. Crew. Using the principles suggested in this chapter, write an improved e-mail message. In the end, J. Crew decided to allow customers who ordered the sweater at $18 to reorder it for $118.80 to $130.80, depending on the size. Customers were given a special Web site to reorder (make up an address). Remember that J. Crew customers are youthful and hip. Keep your message upbeat.17 WEB

8.9 Bad-News Follow-Up: Worms in Her PowerBars! In a recent trip to her local grocery store, Kelly Keeler decided for the first time to stock up on PowerBars. These are low-fat, high-carbohydrate energy bars that are touted as a highly nutritious snack food specially formulated to deliver long-lasting energy. Since 1986, PowerBar (http://www.powerbar.com) has been dedicated to helping athletes and active people achieve peak performance. It claims to be “the fuel of choice” for top athletes around the world. Kelly is a serious runner and participates in many track meets every year. On her way to a recent meet, Kelly grabbed a PowerBar and unwrapped it while driving. As she started to take her first bite, she noticed something white and shiny in the corner of the wrapping. An unexpected protein source wriggled out of her energy bar—a worm! Kelly’s first inclination was to toss it out the window and never buy another PowerBar. On second thought, though, she decided to tell the company. When she called the toll-free number on the wrapper, Sophie, who answered the phone, was incredibly nice, extremely apologetic, and very informative about what happened. “I’m very sorry you experienced an infested product,” said Sophie. She explained that the infamous Indian meal moth is a pantry pest that causes millions of dollars in damage worldwide. It feeds on grains or grain-based products, such as cereal, flour, dry pasta, crackers, dried fruits, nuts, spices, and pet food. The tiny moth eggs lie dormant for some time or hatch quickly into tiny larvae (worms) that penetrate food wrappers and enter products. At its manufacturing facilities, PowerBar takes stringent measures to protect against infestation. It inspects incoming grains, supplies proper ventilation, and shields all grain-storage areas with screens to prevent insects from entering. It also uses light traps and electrocuters; these devices eradicate moths with the least environmental impact. PowerBar President Brian Maxwell makes sure every complaint is followed up immediately with a personal letter. His letters generally tell customers that it is rare for infestations like this to occur. Entomologists

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say that the worms are not toxic and will not harm humans. Nevertheless, as President Maxwell says, “it is extremely disgusting to find these worms in food.” Your Task. For the signature of Brian Maxwell, PowerBar president, write a bad-news follow-up letter to Kelly Keeler, 932 Opperman Drive, Eagan, MN 55123. Keep the letter informal and personal. Explain how pests get into grain-based products and what you are doing to prevent infestation. You can learn more about the Indian meal moth by searching the Web. In your letter include a brochure titled “Notes About the Indian Meal Moth,” along with a kit for Kelly to mail the culprit PowerBar to the company for analysis in Boise, Idaho. Also send a check reimbursing Kelly $26.85 for her purchase.18

8.10 Customer Bad News: Costly SUV Upgrade to a Ford Excursion Steven Chan, a consultant from Oakland, California, was surprised when he picked up his rental car from Budget in Seattle over Easter weekend. He had reserved a full-size car, but the rental agent told him he could upgrade to a Ford Excursion for an additional $25 a day. “She told me it was easy to drive,” Mr. Chan reported. “But when I saw it, I realized it was huge—like a tank. You could fit a full-size bed inside.” On his trip Mr. Chan managed to scratch the paint and damage the rear-door step. He didn’t worry, though. He thought the damage would be covered because he had charged the rental on his American Express card. He knew that the company offered back-up car rental insurance coverage. To his dismay, he discovered that its car rental coverage excluded large SUVs. “I just assumed they’d cover it,” he confessed. He wrote to Budget to complain about not being warned that certain credit cards may not cover damage to large SUVs or luxury cars. Budget agents always encourage renters to sign up for Budget’s own “risk product.” But they don’t feel that it is their responsibility to study the policies of customers’ insurance carriers and explain what may or may not be covered. Moreover, they try to move customers into their rental cars as quickly as possible and avoid lengthy discussions of insurance coverage. Customers who do not purchase insurance are at risk. Mr. Chan does not make any claim against Budget, but he is upset about being “pitched” to upgrade to the larger SUV, which he didn’t really want.19 Your Task. As a member of the communication staff at Budget, respond to Mr. Chan’s complaint. Budget obviously is not going to pay for the SUV repairs, but it does want to salvage his goodwill and future business. Offer him a coupon worth two days’ free rental of any full-size sedan. Write to Steven Chan, 5300 Park Ridge, Apt. 4A, Oakland, CA 93578 CRITICAL THINKING

8.11 Customer Bad News: McDonald’s Squirms Over McAfrika Protests The McAfrika burger sounded like a terrific new menu sandwich to fast-food giant McDonald’s. Made from an authentic African recipe, the pita bread sandwich combined beef, cheese, tomatoes, and salad. But when launched in Norway, it triggered an avalanche of criticism and bad publicity. McDonald’s was accused of “extreme insensitivity” in releasing the new sandwich when 12 million people are facing starvation in southern Africa. Aid agencies trying to raise funds to avert famine in southern Africa were particularly vociferous in their complaints. They said the McAfrika marketing campaign was “insensitive, crass, and ill considered.” Linn Aas-Hansen, of Norwegian Church Aid, complained that it was “inappropriate and distasteful to launch a hamburger called McAfrika when large portions of southern Africa are on the verge of starvation.” To punctuate their protest, members of the aid group distributed “catastrophe crackers” outside McDonald’s restaurants in Oslo. These crackers are protein-rich biscuits given to starving Africans. Facing a public relations debacle, McDonald’s Norway immediately began a damage-control strategy. Spokeswoman Margaret Brusletto apologized, saying that the name of the product and the timing of its launch were unfortunate. She said the company would consider sharing the proceeds from its sales with aid agencies. McDonald’s also offered to allow aid agencies to leave collection boxes and fund-raising posters in its Norwegian restaurants that sold the McAfrika sandwich during its promotional sale. McDonald’s head office issued a statement saying, “All of the involved parties are happy with the solution. We hope this will put a wider focus on the important job that these organizations are doing, and McDonald’s in Norway is pleased to be able to support this.” Although the McAfrika was launched only in Norway, the protest made headlines in the United States and other countries.20 Your Task. As a member of the McDonald’s corporate communication staff, you are given the task of drafting a letter to be sent to U.S. customers who have written to protest the McAfrika sandwich in Norway and in the

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United States. Most of the letters ask McDonald’s to withdraw the offending product, a request you must refuse. Address the letter to Mrs. Janice M. Clark, 35 South Washington, Carthage, IL 62325. Prepare your letter so that it can be sent to others. CRITICAL THINKING

8.12 Bad News to Customers: The StairClimber or the LifeStep? You are delighted to receive a large order from Greg Waller at New Bodies Gym. This order includes two Lifecycle Trainers (at $1,295 each), four Pro Abdominal Boards (at $295 each), three Tunturi Muscle Trainers (at $749 each), and three Dual-Action StairClimbers (at $1,545 each). You could ship immediately except for one problem. The Dual-Action StairClimber is intended for home use, not for gym or club use. Customers like it because they say it’s more like scaling a mountain than climbing a flight of stairs. With each step, users exercise their arms to pull or push themselves up. And its special cylinders absorb shock so that no harmful running impact results. However, this model is not what you would recommend for gym use. You feel Mr. Waller should order your premier stairclimber, the LifeStep (at $2,395 each). This unit has sturdier construction and is meant for heavy use. Its sophisticated electronics provide a selection of customer-pleasing programs that challenge muscles progressively with a choice of workouts. It also quickly multiplies workout gains with computer-controlled interval training. Electronic monitors inform users of step height, calories burned, elapsed time, upcoming levels, and adherence to fitness goals. For gym use the LifeStep is clearly better than the StairClimber. The bad news is that the LifeStep is considerably more expensive. You get no response when you try to telephone Mr. Waller to discuss the problem. Should you ship what you can, or hold the entire order until you learn whether he wants the StairClimber or the LifeStep? Or perhaps you should substitute the LifeStep and send only two of them. Your Task. Decide what to do and write a letter to Greg Waller, New Bodies Gym, 3402 Copeland Drive, Athens, OH 45701.

8.13 Credit Refusal: Cash Only at Gold’s Gym and Fitness Center As manager of Gold’s Gym and Fitness Center, you must refuse the application of Becky Peniccia for an Extended Membership. This is strictly a business decision. You liked Becky very much when she applied, and she seems genuinely interested in fitness and a healthful lifestyle. However, your Extended Membership plan qualifies the member for all your testing, exercise, recreation, yoga, and aerobics programs. This multiservice program is expensive for the club to maintain because of the huge staff required. Applicants must have a solid credit rating to join. To your disappointment, you learned that Becky’s credit rating is decidedly negative. Her credit report indicates that she is delinquent in payments to four businesses, including Desert Athletic Club, your principal competitor. You do have other programs, including your Drop In and Work Out plan. It offers use of available facilities on a cash basis and enables a member to reserve space on the racquetball and handball courts. The member can also sign up for yoga and exercise classes, space permitting. Because Becky is far in debt, you would feel guilty allowing her to plunge in any more deeply. Your Task. Refuse Becky Peniccia’s credit application, but encourage her cash business. Suggest that she make an inquiry to the credit-reporting company Experian to learn about her credit report. She is eligible to receive a free credit report if she mentions this application. Write to Rebecca Peniccia, Box 103, Westgate Hills, 1402 Olive Avenue, Mesa, AZ 85301.

8.14 Credit Refusal: Risky Order for Cool Camera Phones As a CellCity sales manager, you are delighted to land a sizable order for your new T-Mobile Nokia digital video camera phone. This great phone is too cool with its full-color LCD, multimedia player, speaker phone, and voice dialing. The purchase order comes from Beech Grove Electronics, a retail distributor in Indianapolis. You send the order on to Pat Huckabee, your credit manager, for approval of the credit application attached. To your disappointment, Pat tells you that Beech Grove doesn’t qualify for credit. Experian Credit Services reports that credit would be risky for Beech Grove. Because you think you can be more effective in writing than on the telephone, you decide to write to Beech Grove with the bad news and offer an alternative. Suggest that Beech Grove order a smaller number

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of the camera phones. If it pays cash, it can receive a 2 percent discount. After Beech Grove has sold these fast-moving units, it can place another cash order through your toll-free order number. With your fast delivery system, its inventory will never be depleted. Beech Grove can get the camera phones it wants now and can replace its inventory almost overnight. Credit Manager Huckabee tells you that your company generally reveals to credit applicants the name of the credit-reporting service it used and encourages them to investigate their credit record. Your Task. Write a credit refusal to Jacob Jackson, Beech Grove Electronics, 3590 Plainfield Road, Indianapolis, IN 46296 E-MAIL

8.15 Employee Bad News: Company Games Are Not Date Nights As director of Human Resources at Weyerman Paper Company, you received an unusual request. Several employees asked that their spouses or friends be allowed to participate in Weyerman intramural sports teams. Although the teams play only once a week during the season, these employees claim that they can’t afford more time away from friends and family. Over 100 employees currently participate in the eight coed volleyball, softball, and tennis teams, which are open to company employees only. The teams were designed to improve employee friendships and to give employees a regular occasion to have fun together. If nonemployees were to participate, you’re afraid that employee interaction would be limited. And while some team members might have fun if spouses or friends were included, you’re not so sure all employees would enjoy it. You’re not interested in turning intramural sports into “date night.” Furthermore, the company would have to create additional teams if many nonemployees joined, and you don’t want the administrative or equipment costs of more teams. Adding teams also would require changes to team rosters and game schedules. This could create a problem for some employees. You do understand the need for social time with friends and families, but guests are welcome as spectators at all intramural games. Besides, the company already sponsors a family holiday party and an annual company picnic. Your Task. Write an e-mail or print memo to the staff denying the request of several employees to include nonemployees on Weyerman’s intramural sports teams.

8.16 Employee Bad News: No Go for Tuition Reimbursement Ashley Arnett, a hardworking bank teller, has sent a request asking that the company create a program to reimburse the tuition and book expenses for employees taking college courses. Although some companies have such a program, First Federal has not felt that it could indulge in such an expensive employee perk. Moreover, the CEO is not convinced that companies see any direct benefit from such programs. Employees improve their educational credentials and skills, but what is to keep them from moving that education and skill set to another employer? First Federal has over 200 employees. If even a fraction of them started classes, the company could see a huge bill for the cost of tuition and books. Because the bank is facing stiff competition and its profits are sinking, the expense of such a program is out of the question. In addition, it would involve administration—applications, monitoring, and record-keeping. It’s just too much of a hassle. When employees were hard to hire and retain, companies had to offer employment perks. But with a soft economy, such inducements are unnecessary. Your Task. As director of Human Resources, send an individual response to Ashley Arnett. The answer is a definite no, but you want to soften the blow and retain the loyalty of this conscientious employee. E-MAIL

8.17 Employee Bad News: Suit Up or Ship Out During the feverish dot-com boom days, “business casual” became the workplace norm. Like many other companies, Bear Stearns, the sixth largest securities firm in the United States, loosened its dress policies. It allowed employees to come to work in polo shirts, khaki pants, and loafers for two important reasons: It had to compete with Internet companies in a tight employment market, and it wanted to fit in with its casual dotcom customers. But when the dot-com bubble burst and the economy faltered, the casual workplace environment glorified by failed Internet companies fell out of favor. Managers at Bear Stearns decided to reverse course and cancel the casual dress code that had been in effect for two years. Company spokesperson Elizabeth Ventura said, “Our employees should reflect the

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professionalism of our business.” Some observers felt that relaxed dress codes carried over into relaxed work attitudes. Particularly in difficult economic times, Bear Stearns believed that every aspect of the business, including dress, should reflect the serious attitude and commitment it had toward relations with clients. After the securities market plunged, Bear Stearns slashed 830 jobs, amounting to 7.5 percent of its workforce. This was the biggest cut in company history, and officials vowed to get serious about regaining market share. To put into effect its more serious business tone, Bear Stearns decided to return to a formal dress code. For men, suits and ties would be required. For women, dresses, suits with skirts or slacks, or “equivalent attire” would be expected. Although Bear Stearns decided to continue to allow casual dress on Fridays, sports jackets would be required for men. Despite the policy reversal, company officials downplayed the return to traditional, more formal attire. Spokesperson Ventura noted that the company’s legal, administrative, and private client services departments had never adopted the casual dress code. In addition, she said, “We’ve always had a formal dress policy for meetings with clients.” To ease the transition, nearby Brooks Brothers Inc., a conservative clothing store, offered a special invitation. On September 20 it would stay open an extra hour to host an evening of wine, cheese, and shopping with discounts of 20 percent for Bear Stearns staffers.21 Your Task. As an assistant to John Jones, chairman of the Management and Compensation Committee, you have the challenging task of drafting a message to employees announcing the return to a formal dress code. He realizes that this is going to be a tough sell, but he’s hoping that employees will recognize that difficult economic times require serious efforts and sacrifices. In the message to employees, he wants you to tell supervisors that they must speak to employees who fail to adhere to the new guidelines. You ask Mr. Jones whether he wants the message to open directly or indirectly. He says that Bear Stearns generally prefers directness in messages to employees, but he wants you to prepare two versions and he will choose one.

VIDEO RESOURCE Video Library 2, Building Workplace Skills Negative News: DawnSign Press. Named Small Business Owner of the Year in the state of California, Joe Dannis is a unique entrepreneur. In this video you’ll learn how he started DawnSign Press, but you’ll also see American Sign Language in action. Joe and many of his employees are deaf. As business communicators, you’ll be exposed to a unique work environment and be inspired by Joe’s success story. Notice that both deaf and hearing employees sign to each other. Pay attention to the nature of Joe’s business and listen to his reasons for hiring both deaf and hearing employees. As a staff employee at DawnSign Press, you were surprised but honored when owner Joe Dannis handed you a letter and asked you to answer it for him. The letter was from Melissa Thomas, a customer who had used one of DawnSign Press’s books in a class and found it very helpful. However, she said that she was “profoundly disappointed” when she learned that Joe’s business was not staffed by deaf people only. Melissa said that, as a deaf person herself, she had experienced great difficulty in finding employment. She felt that DawnSign Press

should set an example by hiring an all-deaf staff, thus providing jobs for many deserving people. She wants DawnSign Press to change its hiring policy. Joe knows that you have studied business communication. That’s why he asks you to prepare a letter that responds to this inquiry but that may also be used for any future ones. Because you have heard Joe talk about his employment philosophy, you realize that, in a perfect world, he would hire only deaf employees. But Joe is forced to hire hearing employees as well. Your Task. For Joe’s signature, prepare a bad-news message. Start indirectly, provide reasons, present the bad news (or imply it), and close pleasantly. You might wish to visit the DawnSign Press Web site (http://www .dawnsign.com) for more information. Address the draft to Ms. Melissa Thomas, 4752 Monroe Street, Toledo, OH 43623.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHECKUP—8 Commas 3 Review the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook Sections 2.10–2.15. Then study each of the following statements and insert necessary commas. In the space provided write the number of commas that you add; write 0 if no commas are needed. Also record the number of the G/M principle(s) illustrated. When you finish, compare your responses with those provided at the end of the book. If your answers differ, study carefully the principles shown in parentheses. 2

(2.12)

Example

The CEO named Marianne Longhi not Martin Jiang to the board of directors.

1. “Perpetual optimism” said Colin Powell “is a force multiplier.” 2. The featured speakers are Donna H. Cox Ph.D. and Pam Rankey M.B.A. 3. We interviewed Alexander Lee on June 2 didn’t we? 4. Research shows that talking on a cell phone distracts drivers and quadruples their chances of getting into accidents such as rear-ending a car ahead of them. 5. The bigger the monitor the clearer the picture.

Review Commas 1, 2, 3 6. As you may know information chips are already encoded in the visas of people who need them for work travel or study in this country. 7. We think however that the new passports will be issued only to diplomats and other government employees beginning in August. 8. To fill the vacant position we hope to hire Kimberly Creek-Lea who is currently working in Palm Beach Gardens. 9. All things considered our conference will attract more participants if it is held in a resort setting such as Las Vegas Scottsdale or Orlando. 10. If you examine the log closely you will see that 15 orders were shipped on Thursday; on Friday only 4. 11. In the past ten years we have promoted over 30 well-qualified individuals many of whom started in accounting. 12. Donald DuBay who spoke to our class last week is the author of a book titled The Digital Workplace. 13. A recent study of productivity that was conducted by authoritative researchers revealed that workers in the United States are more productive than workers in Europe or Japan. 14. America’s secret productivity weapons according to the report were not bigger companies more robots or even brainier managers. 15. As a matter of fact the report said that America’s productivity resulted from a capitalistic system of unprotected hands-off competition.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHALLENGE—8 The following memo has faults in grammar, punctuation, spelling, capitalization, number form, repetition, wordiness, and other problems. Correct the errors with standard proofreading marks (see Appendix B) or revise the message online at Guffey Xtra!

DATE:

August 5, 200x

TO:

Arthur W. Rose, Vice President

FROM:

Jessica Thomas, Market Research

SUBJECT:

ANALYSIS OF GATORADE XL

Here is a summery of the research of James Willis’ and myself. Regarding the reduced sugar sports drink being introduced by our No. 1 compititor, Gatorade. In just under a years time Gatorade developed this new drink, it combines together a mixture of 50 percent sugar and 50 percent artificial sweetener. Apparently Gatorade plans to spend over $8 million to introduce the drink, and to assess consumers reactions to it. It will be tested on the shelfs of convience stores grocerys and other mass merchants in five citys in Florida.

The companys spokesperson said, “The ‘X’ stands for excelent taste, and the ‘L’ stands for less sugar.” Aimed at young adult’s who don’t like the taste of artificial sweeteners but who want to control calories. The new sports drink is a hybrid sugar and diet drink. Our studys show that simular drinks tryed in this country in the 1980’s were unsucessful. On the other hand a 50 calorie low sugar sports drink introduced in Canada two year ago was well received, similarly in Japan a 40 calorie soda is now marketed sucessfully by Coca-Cola.

However our research in regard to trends and our analysis of Gatorade XL fails to indicate that this countrys consumers will be interested in a midcalorie sports drink. Yet Wall Streets response to Gatorades announcement of it’s new drink was not unfavorable. In view of the foregoing the writer and her colleague are of the opinion that we should take a wait and see attitude. Toward the introduction of our own low sugar sports drink.

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Corresponding at Work

MULTICULTURAL ISSUES PRESENTING BAD NEWS IN OTHER CULTURES To minimize disappointment, Americans generally prefer to present negative messages indirectly. Other cultures may treat bad news differently, as illustrated in the following: •

In Germany business communicators occasionally use buffers but tend to present bad news directly.

•

British writers also tend to be straightforward with bad news, seeing no reason to soften its announcement.

•

In Latin countries the question is not how to organize negative messages but whether to present them at all. It’s considered disrespectful and impolite to report bad news to superiors. Thus, reluctant employees may fail to report accurately any negative messages to their bosses. `

•

In Thailand the negativism represented by a refusal is completely alien; the word no does not exist. In many cultures negative news is offered with such subtleness or in such a positive light that it may be overlooked or misunderstood by literalminded Americans.

•

In many Asian and some Latin cultures, one must look beyond an individual’s actual words to understand what’s really being communicated. One must consider the communication style, the culture, and especially the context. I agree might mean I agree with 15 percent of what you say. We might be able to could mean Not a chance. We will consider could mean WE will, but the real decision maker will not. That is a little too much might equate to That is outrageous.22 Yes, might mean Yes, I’m listening, or Yes, you have a good point or Yes, I see, but I don’t necessarily agree.23

Career Application. Interview fellow students or work colleagues who are from other cultures. Collect information regarding the following: •

How is negative news handled in their cultures?

•

How would typical business communicators refuse a request for a business favor (such as a contribution to a charity)?

•

How would typical business communicators refuse a customer’s claim?

•

How would an individual be turned down for a job?

Your Task Report the findings of your interviews in class discussion or in a memo report. In addition, collect samples of foreign business letters. You might ask foreign students, your campus admissions office, or local export/import companies whether they would be willing to share business letters from other countries. Compare letter styles, formats, tone, and writing strategies. How do these elements differ from those in typical North American business letters?

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PHOTOS: © PHOTODISC COLLECTION/GETTY IMAGES; © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS; © JULES FRAZIER/PHOTODISC/GETTY IMAGES

REPORTING WORKPLACE DATA

CHAPTER 9

Informal Reports

CHAPTER 10

Proposals and Formal Reports

INFORMAL REPORTS OBJECTIVES

ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.1 Lee Iacocca, American industrialist and former chairman of Chrysler Corporation

”

• Follow guidelines for developing informal reports, including determining the problem and purpose, gathering data, using an appropriate writing style, composing effective headings, and being objective. • Describe six kinds of informal reports. • Write information and progress reports. • Write justification/recommendation reports. • Write feasibility reports. • Write minutes of meetings and summaries.

Informal reports are relatively short (eight or fewer pages) and are usually written in memo or letter format.

Savvy business report writers are eager to follow the advice of Lee Iacocca by doing what is necessary to get their ideas across. They are able to simplify facts so that anyone can understand these facts in reports. Why do you need to learn how to write reports? As a business and professional communicator, you’ll probably have your share of reports to write. Reports are a fact of life in business today. With increasing emphasis on performance and profits, businesspeople analyze the pros and cons of problems, studying alternatives and assessing facts, figures, and details. This analysis results in reports. Management decisions in many organizations are based on information submitted in the form of reports. Reports may be submitted in writing, orally, or digitally. Increasingly, workplace information is presented in a PowerPoint talk accompanied by a written report. You’ll learn about making oral presentations in Chapter 12. In this chapter we’ll concentrate on informal written reports. These reports tend to be short (usually eight or fewer pages), use memo or letter format, and are personal in tone. You’ll learn about the functions, patterns, formats, and writing styles of typical business reports. You’ll also learn to write good reports by examining basic techniques and by analyzing appropriate models.

PHOTOS: © PHOTODISC COLLECTION/GETTY IMAGES; © ROYALTY-FREE/ CORBIS; © JULES FRAZIER/PHOTODISC/GETTY IMAGES

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• Describe business report basics, including functions, organizational patterns, formats, and delivery methods.

You can have brilliant

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UNDERSTANDING REPORT BASICS

Business reports are systematic attempts to answer questions and solve problems.

Because of their abundance and diversity, business reports are difficult to define. They may range from informal half-page trip reports to formal 200-page financial forecasts. Reports may be presented orally in front of a group or electronically via e-mail or a Web site. Some reports appear as words on paper in the form of memos and letters. Others are primarily numerical data, such as tax reports or profit-and-loss statements. Some reports provide information only; others analyze and make recommendations. Although reports vary greatly in length, content, form, and formality level, they all have one common purpose: to answer questions and solve problems.

Functions of Reports In terms of what they do, most reports fit into two broad categories: informative reports and analytical reports. INFORMATIVE REPORTS Informative reports present data without analysis or recommendations.

Reports that present data without analysis or recommendations are primarily informative. Although writers collect and organize facts, they are not expected to analyze the facts for readers. A trip report describing an employee’s visit to a conference, for example, simply presents information. Other reports that present information without analysis involve routine operations, compliance with regulations, and company policies and procedures. ANALYTICAL REPORTS

Analytical reports provide data, analyses, conclusions, and, if requested, recommendations.

Reports that provide data, analyses, and conclusions are analytical. If requested, writers also supply recommendations. Analytical reports may intend to persuade readers to act or to change their beliefs. Assume you’re writing a feasibility report that compares several potential locations for a tapas restaurant. After analyzing and discussing alternatives, you might recommend one site, thus attempting to persuade readers to accept this choice.

Organizational Patterns Like letters and memos, reports may be organized directly or indirectly. The reader’s expectations and the content of a report determine its pattern of development, as illustrated in Figure 9.1. DIRECT PATTERN When the purpose for writing is presented close to the beginning, the organizational pattern is direct. Informative reports, such as the letter report shown in Figure 9.2, are usually arranged directly. They open with an introduction, followed by the facts and a summary. In Figure 9.2 the writer explains a legal services plan. The letter report begins with an introduction. Then it presents the facts, which are divided into three subtopics identified by descriptive headings. The letter ends with a summary and a complimentary close. Analytical reports may also be organized directly, especially when readers are supportive or are familiar with the topic. Many busy executives prefer this pattern because it gives them the results of the report immediately. You should be aware, though, that unless readers are familiar with the topic, they may find the direct pattern confusing. Some readers prefer the indirect pattern because it seems logical and mirrors the way we solve problems.

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FIGURE 9.1

If readers are informed

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Audience Analysis and Report Organization

If readers are eager to have results first

If readers are supportive

Direct Pattern

Information Report

If readers need to be educated

If readers need to be persuaded

If readers may be disappointed or hostile

Indirect Pattern

Analytical Report

Introduction/Background

Introduction/Problem

Facts/Findings

CONCLUSIONS/ RECOMMENDATIONS

Facts/Findings

Discussion/Analysis

Summary Discussion/Analysis

CONCLUSIONS/ RECOMMENDATIONS

INDIRECT PATTERN The indirect pattern is appropriate for analytical reports that seek to persuade or that convey bad news.

When the conclusions and recommendations, if requested, appear at the end of the report, the organizational pattern is indirect. Such reports usually begin with an introduction or description of the problem, followed by facts and interpretation from the writer. They end with conclusions and recommendations. This pattern is helpful when readers are unfamiliar with the problem. It’s also useful when readers must be persuaded or when they may be disappointed in or hostile toward the report’s findings. The writer is more likely to retain the reader’s interest by first explaining, justifying, and analyzing the facts and then making recommendations. This pattern also seems most rational to readers because it follows the normal thought process: problem, alternatives (facts), solution.

Formats How you format a report depends on its length, topic, audience, and purpose.

The format of a report is governed by its length, topic, audience, and purpose. After considering these elements, you’ll probably choose from among the following four formats. LETTER FORMAT Use letter format for short (usually eight or fewer pages) informal reports addressed outside an organization. Prepared on a company’s letterhead stationery, a letter report contains a date, inside address, salutation, and complimentary close, as shown in Figure 9.2. Although they may carry information similar to that found in correspondence, letter reports usually are longer and show more careful organization than most letters. They also include headings. MEMO FORMAT For short informal reports that stay within organizations, memo format is appropriate. Memo reports begin with essential background information, using standard

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Information Report—Letter Format

Center for Consumers of Legal Services 480 Congress St. Portland, ME 04101

January 17, 200x

Uses letterhead stationery for an informal report addressed to an outsider

Ms. Christine Agostinho, Secretary Bancroft Village Homeowners’ Association 3902 Oak Hill Drive Westbrook, ME 04092 Dear Ms. Agostinho: As executive director of the Center for Consumers of Legal Services, I’m pleased to send you this information describing how your homeowners’ association can sponsor a legal services plan for its members. After an introduction with background data, this report will discuss three steps necessary for your group to start its plan. Introduction

Presents introduction and facts without analysis or recommendations

A legal services plan promotes preventive law by letting members talk to attorneys whenever problems arise. Prompt legal advice often avoids or prevents expensive litigation. Because groups can supply a flow of business to the plan’s attorneys, groups can negotiate free consultation, follow-up, and discounts. Two kinds of plans are commonly available. The first, a free plan, offers free legal consultation along with discounts for services when the participating groups are sufficiently large to generate business for the plan’s attorneys. These plans actually act as a substitute for advertising for the attorneys. The second common type is the prepaid plan. Prepaid plans provide more benefits, but members must pay annual fees, usually of $200 or more a year. More than 30 million people are covered by legal services plans today, and a majority belong to free plans. Since you inquired about a free plan for your homeowners’ association, the following information describes how to set up such a program.

Arranges facts of report into sections with descriptive headings

Determine the Benefits Your Group Needs The first step in establishing a free legal services plan is to meet with the members of your group to decide what benefits they want. Typical benefits include the following: Free consultation. Members may consult a participating attorney—by phone or in the attorney’s office—to discuss any matter. The number of consultations is unlimited, provided each is about a separate matter. Consultations are generally limited to 30 minutes, but they include substantive analysis and advice. Free document review. Important papers—such as leases, insurance policies, and installment sales contracts—may be reviewed with legal counsel. Members may ask questions and receive an explanation of terms.

Emphasizes benefits in paragraph headings with boldface type

Tips for Letter Reports • • • • • • •

Use letter format for short informal reports sent to outsiders. Organize the facts into divisions with consistent headings. Single-space the body. Double-space between paragraphs. Leave two blank lines above each side heading. Create side margins of 1 to 11/4 inches. Add a second-page heading, if necessary, consisting of the addressee’s name, the page number, and the date.

headings: Date, To, From, and Subject. Like letter reports, memo reports differ from regular memos in length, use of headings, and deliberate organization. MANUSCRIPT FORMAT For longer, more formal reports, use manuscript format. These reports are usually printed on plain paper instead of letterhead stationery or memo forms. They begin with

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FIGURE 9.2

Identifies second and succeeding pages with headings

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Continued

Ms. Christine Agostinho

Page 2

January 17, 200x

Discount on additional services. For more complex matters, participating attorneys will charge members 75 percent of the attorney’s normal fee. However, some organizations choose to charge a flat fee for commonly needed services. Select the Attorneys for Your Plan Groups with geographically concentrated memberships have an advantage in forming legal plans. These groups can limit the number of participating attorneys and yet provide adequate service. Generally, smaller panels of attorneys are advantageous.

Uses parallel side headings for consistency and readability

Assemble a list of candidates, inviting them to apply. The best way to compare prices is to have candidates submit their fees. Your group can then compare fee schedules and select the lowest bidder, if price is important. Arrange to interview attorneys in their offices. After selecting an attorney or a panel, sign a contract. The contract should include the reason for the plan, what the attorney agrees to do, what the group agrees to do, how each side can end the contract, and the signature of both parties. You may also wish to include references to malpractice insurance, assurance that the group will not interfere with the attorney–client relationship, an evaluation form, a grievance procedure, and responsibility for government filings. Publicize the Plan to Your Members Members won’t use a plan if they don’t know about it, and a plan will not be successful if it is unused. Publicity must be vocal and ongoing. Announce it in newsletters, meetings, bulletin boards, and flyers. Persistence is the key. All too frequently, leaders of an organization assume that a single announcement is all that’s needed. They expect members to see the value of the plan and remember that it’s available. Most organization members, though, are not as involved as the leadership. Therefore, it takes more publicity than the leadership usually expects in order to reach and maintain the desired level of awareness. Summary

Includes complimentary close and signature

A successful free legal services plan involves designing a program, choosing the attorneys, and publicizing the plan. To learn more about these steps or to order a $25 how-to manual, call me at (207) 772-9901. Sincerely,

Christopher D. Kelley, Esq. Executive Director pas

a title followed by systematically displayed headings and subheadings. You will see examples of proposals and formal reports using manuscript formats in Chapter 10. PRINTED FORMS Prepared forms are often used for repetitive data, such as monthly sales reports, performance appraisals, merchandise inventories, expense claims, and personnel and financial reports. Standardized headings on these forms save time for the writer. Preprinted forms also make similar information easy to locate and ensure that all necessary information is provided.

Report Delivery Once reports are written, you must decide what channel to use to deliver them to your readers. Written business reports can be delivered in the following ways: In Person. If you are located close to the reader, deliver your report in person. This delivery method works especially well when you’d like to comment on the report or

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clarify its purpose. Delivering a report in person also makes the report seem more important or urgent. Written reports can be delivered in person, by mail, or electronically.

By Mail. Many reports are delivered via mail. You can send your reports by interoffice mail, U.S. Postal Service delivery, or commercial delivery service such as UPS or FedEx. By Fax. You can fax your report to your reader. Be sure to include a cover page that identifies the sender and introduces the report. By E-Mail. Reports in any format can be attached to an e-mail message. When using this channel, you will introduce the report and refer clearly to the attachment in the body of your e-mail message. Online. You might choose to make your report available online. Many report writers today are making their reports available to their readers on the Web. One common method for doing this involves saving the report in Portable Document Format (PDF) and then uploading it to the company’s Web site. This is an inexpensive method of delivery and allows an unlimited number of readers access to the report. If the report contains sensitive or confidential information, access to the document can be password protected.

GUIDELINES FOR DEVELOPING INFORMAL REPORTS Your natural tendency in preparing a report is to sit down and begin writing immediately. If you follow this urge, however, you will very likely have to backtrack and start again. Reports take planning, beginning with defining the project and gathering data. The following guidelines will help you plan your project.

Determining the Problem and Purpose

Begin the report-writing process by determining your purpose for writing the report.

The first step in writing a report is understanding the problem or assignment clearly. This includes coming up with a statement of purpose. Ask yourself: Am I writing this report to inform, to analyze, to solve a problem, or to persuade? The answer to this question should be a clear, accurate statement identifying your purpose. In informal reports the statement of purpose may be only one sentence; that sentence usually

To solve a world-class traffic problem, the city of Boston undertook one of the largest, most technologically difficult and environmentally challenging highway projects in U.S. history. Known as The Big Dig, the project involved expanding the interstate system through downtown Boston. Before gaining approval and implementing plans for any big project, teams define the project, gather data, develop specifications, and write many reports. Business reports, which are systematic attempts to answer questions and solve problems, always begin with the collection of solid facts.

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becomes part of the introduction. Notice how the following introductory statement describes the purpose of the report: This report presents data regarding the feasibility of and costs involved with opening an on-site day care facility for use by employees with children. After writing a statement of purpose, analyze who will read your report. If your report is intended for your immediate supervisors and they are supportive of your project, you need not include extensive details, historical development, definition of terms, or persuasion. Other readers, however, may require background data and persuasive strategies. The expected audience for your report influences your writing style, research methods, vocabulary, areas of emphasis, and communication strategy. Remember, too, that your audience may consist of more than one set of readers. Reports are often distributed to secondary readers who may need more details than the primary reader does.

Gathering Data The facts for reports are often obtained from company records, observation, surveys, interviews, printed material, and electronic resources.

One of the most important steps in the process of writing a report is that of researching and gathering data. A good report is based on solid, accurate, verifiable facts. Typical sources of factual information for informal reports include (1) company records; (2) observation; (3) surveys, questionnaires, and inventories; (4) interviews; (5) printed material; and (6) electronic resources. COMPANY RECORDS Many business-related reports begin with an analysis of company records and files. From these records you can observe past performance and methods used to solve previous problems. You can collect pertinent facts that will help determine a course of action. OBSERVATION Another logical source of data for many problems lies in personal observation and experience. For example, if you were writing a report on the need for a company e-mail and Internet-use policy, you might observe how much employees are using e-mail and the Web for personal use. SURVEYS, QUESTIONNAIRES, AND INVENTORIES Data from groups of people can be collected most efficiently and economically by using surveys, questionnaires, and inventories. For example, if you were part of a committee investigating the success of an employee carpooling program, you might begin by using a questionnaire to survey use of the program by employees. INTERVIEWS

Interviews provide rich, accurate first-hand information because questions can be explained.

Talking with individuals directly concerned with the problem produces excellent firsthand information. For example, if you are researching whether your company should install wireless technology, you could interview an expert in wireless technology about the pros and cons. Interviews also allow for one-on-one communication, thus giving you an opportunity to explain your questions and ideas in eliciting the most accurate information. PRINTED MATERIAL Although we’re seeing a steady movement away from print to electronic data, print sources are still the most visible part of most libraries. Much information is available only in print. Print sources include books, newspapers, and periodicals, such as magazines and journals.

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ELECTRONIC RESOURCES An extensive source of current and historical information is available electronically by using a computer to connect to the Web, electronic databases, and other online resources. From a personal or office computer you can access storehouses of information provided by the government, newspapers, magazines, and companies. Business researchers are also using such electronic tools as mailing lists, discussion boards, and weblogs (or “blogs”) to conduct research. For short, informal reports the most usable data will probably be found in online resources. Chapter 10 gives you more detailed suggestions about online research and electronic research tools.

Special sources of electronic data may include mailing lists, discussion boards, and weblogs (blogs).

Developing an Appropriate Writing Style

An informal writing style includes first-person pronouns, contractions, active-voice verbs, short sentences, and familiar words.

FIGURE 9.3

Like other business messages, reports can range from informal to formal, depending on their purpose, audience, and setting. Research reports from consultants to their clients tend to be rather formal. Such reports must project an impression of objectivity, authority, and impartiality. But a report to your boss describing a trip to a conference would probably be informal. You can see the differences between formal and informal styles in Figure 9.3. In this chapter we are most concerned with an informal writing style. Your short reports will probably be written for familiar audiences and involve noncontroversial topics. You may use first-person pronouns (I, we, me, my, us, our) and contractions (I’m, we’ll, they’re, didn’t). You’ll emphasize active-voice verbs and strive for shorter sentences using familiar words. Whether you choose a formal or informal writing style, remember to apply the writing techniques you’ve learned in earlier chapters. The same techniques you’ve been using to compose effective memos, letters, and e-mail messages can be applied to developing outstanding reports. Like all business documents, business reports must be clear and concise. They should be written using inclusive language, precise verbs, concrete nouns, and vivid adjectives. Avoid using outdated expressions, needless adverbs, slang, and clichés in your reports. Finally, proofread all business reports

Report Writing Styles Informal Writing Style

Formal Writing Style

Use

Short, routine reports Reports for familiar audiences Noncontroversial reports Most reports for company insiders

Theses Research studies Controversial or complex reports (especially to outsiders)

Effect

Feeling or warmth, personal involvement, closeness

Impression of objectivity, accuracy, professionalism, fairness Distance created between writer and reader

Characteristics

Use of first-person pronouns (I, we, me, my, us, our) Use of contractions (can’t, don’t) Emphasis on active-voice verbs (I conducted the study) Shorter sentences; familiar words Occasional use of humor, metaphors Occasional use of colorful speech Acceptance of author’s opinions and ideas

Absence of first-person pronouns; use of third-person (the researcher, the writer ) Absence of contractions (cannot, do not ) Use of passive-voice verbs (the study was conducted) Complex sentences; long words Absence of humor and figures of speech Reduced use of colorful adjectives and adverbs Elimination of “editorializing” (author’s opinions, perceptions)

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carefully to make sure that they contain no errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation, names and numbers, or format.

Using Effective Headings

Functional heads show the outline of a report; talking heads describe the content.

FIGURE 9.4

Good headings are helpful to both the report reader and the writer. For the reader they serve as an outline of the text, highlighting major ideas and categories. They also act as guides for locating facts and pointing the way through the text. Moreover, headings provide resting points for the mind and for the eye, breaking up large chunks of text into manageable and inviting segments. For the writer, headings force organization of the data into meaningful blocks. To learn more about designing readable headings, as well as to pick up other tips on designing documents, see Figure 9.4. You may choose functional or talking heads. Functional heads (such as Background, Findings, Staffing, and Projected Costs) describe functions or general topics. They show the outline of a report but provide little insight for readers. Functional

Ten Tips for Designing Better Documents

Desktop publishing packages, high-level word processing programs, and advanced printers now make it possible for you to turn out professional-looking documents. The temptation, though, is to overdo it by incorporating too many features in one document. Here are ten tips for applying good sense and good design principles in “publishing” your documents:

•

Design readable headlines. Presenting headlines and headings in all caps is generally discouraged because solid blocks of capital letters interfere with recognition of word patterns. To further improve readability, select a sans serif typeface (one without cross strokes or embellishment), such as Arial.

•

Strive for an attractive page layout. In designing title pages or graphics, provide for a balance between print and white space. Also consider placing the focal point (something that draws the reader’s eye) at the optical center of a page—about three lines above the actual center. Moreover, remember that the average reader scans a page from left to right and top to bottom in a Z pattern. Plan your visuals accordingly.

•

Analyze your audience. Avoid overly flashy type, colors, and borders for conservative business documents. Also consider whether your readers will be reading painstakingly or merely browsing. Lists and headings help readers who are in a hurry.

•

Choose an appropriate type size. For most business memos, letters, and reports, the body text should be 10 to 12 points tall (a point is 1/72 of an inch). Larger type looks amateurish, and smaller type is hard to read.

•

Use a consistent type font. Although your software may provide a variety of fonts, stay with a single family of type within one document. The most popular fonts are Times Roman and Arial. For emphasis and contrast, you may vary the font size and weight with bold, italic, bold italic, and other selections.

Use graphics and clip art with restraint. Charts, original drawings, and photographs can be scanned into documents. Ready-made clip art and graphics can also be inserted into documents. Use such images, however, only when they are well drawn, relevant, purposeful, and appropriately sized.

•

Generally, don’t justify right margins. Textbooks, novels, newspapers, magazines, and other long works are usually set with justified (even) right margins. However, for shorter works ragged-right margins are recommended because such margins add white space and help readers locate the beginnings of new lines. Slower readers find ragged-right copy more legible.

Avoid amateurish results. Many beginning writers, eager to display every graphic device a program offers, produce busy, cluttered documents. Too many typefaces, ruled lines, images, and oversized headlines will overwhelm readers. Strive for simple, clean, and forceful effects.

•

Develop expertise. Learn to use the desktop publishing features of your current word processing software, or investigate one of the special programs, such as QuarkXPress, Adobe’s InDesign, and Corel’s Ventura. Although the learning curve for many of these programs is steep, such effort is well spent if you will be producing newsletters, brochures, announcements, visual aids, and promotional literature.

•

Separate paragraphs and sentences appropriately. The first line of a paragraph should be indented or preceded by a blank line. To separate sentences, typists have traditionally left two spaces. This spacing is still acceptable, but most writers now follow printers’ standards and leave only one space.

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heads are useful for routine reports. They’re also appropriate for sensitive or controversial topics that might provoke emotional reactions. Functional heads are used in the progress report shown in Figure 9.5. Talking heads (such as Employees Challenged by Shortage of Parking or LongTerm Parking Solutions) describe content and provide more information to the reader. Many of the examples in this chapter use talking heads, including the information report in Figure 9.2. To provide even greater clarity, you can make headings both functional and descriptive, such as Recommendations: Shuttle and New Structures. Whether your headings are talking or functional, keep them brief and clear. To create the most effective headings, follow a few basic guidelines: • Use appropriate heading levels. The position and format of a heading indicate its level of importance and relationship to other points. • Strive for parallel construction within levels. All headings at a given level should be grammatically similar. Use balanced expressions such as Current Costs and Future Costs rather than Current Costs and Costs Expected in the Future. • For short reports use first- and second-level headings. Many business reports contain only one or two levels of headings. For such reports use first-level headings (centered, bolded) and/or second-level headings (flush left, bolded). • Capitalize and underline carefully. Most writers use all capital letters (without underlines) for main titles, such as the report, chapter, and unit titles. For first- and second-level headings, they capitalize only the first letter of main words. For additional emphasis, they use a bold font. Don’t enclose headings in quotation marks. • Keep headings short but clear. Try to make your headings brief (no more than eight words) but understandable. Experiment with headings that concisely tell who, what, when, where, and why. • Don’t use headings as antecedents for pronouns such as this, that, these, and those. For example, when the heading reads Digital Images, don’t begin the next sentence with These are often used to add interest to company Web sites. • Include at least one heading per report page. Headings increase the readability and attractiveness of report pages. Use at least one per page to break up blocks of text.

Being Objective Reports are more believable if the author is impartial, separates fact from opinion, uses moderate language, and cites sources.

Reports are convincing only when the facts are believable and the writer is credible. You can build credibility in a number of ways: • Present both sides of an issue. Even if you favor one possibility, discuss both sides and show through logical reasoning why your position is superior. Remain impartial, letting the facts prove your point. • Separate fact from opinion. Suppose a supervisor wrote, Our department works harder and gets less credit than any other department in the company. This opinion is difficult to prove, and it damages the credibility of the writer. A more convincing statement might be, Our productivity has increased 6 percent over the past year, and I’m proud of the extra effort my employees are making. After you’ve made a claim or presented an important statement in a report, ask yourself, Is this a verifiable fact? If the answer is no, rephrase your statement to make it sound more reasonable.

•

Be sensitive and moderate in your choice of language. Don’t exaggerate. Instead of saying most people think . . . , it might be more accurate to say Some people think . . . . Better yet, use

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specific figures such as Sixty percent of employees agree . . . . Also avoid using labels and slanted expressions. Calling someone a loser, a control freak, or an elitist demonstrates bias. If readers suspect that a writer is prejudiced, they may discount the entire argument. Cite sources. Tell your readers where the information came from. For example, In a telephone interview with Blake Spence, director of transportation, October 15, he said . . . OR: The Wall Street Journal (August 10, p. 40) reports that . . . . By referring to respected sources, you lend authority and credibility to your statements. Your words become more believable and your argument, more convincing. You will learn how to properly document your sources in Chapter 10.

SIX KINDS OF INFORMAL REPORTS

DR. MARY ELLEN GUFFEY

Information and progress reports generally present data without analysis.

Informal business reports generally fall into one of six categories. In many instances the boundaries of the categories overlap; distinctions are not always clear-cut. Individual situations, goals, and needs may make one report take on some characteristics of a report in another category. Still, these general categories, presented here in a brief overview, are helpful to beginning writers. Later you’ll learn how to fully develop each of these reports. • Information reports. Reports that collect and organize information are informative or investigative. They may record routine activities such as daily, weekly, and monthly reports of sales or profits. They may investigate options, performance, or equipment. Although they provide information, they do not analyze that information. • Progress reports. Progress reports monitor the headway of unusual or nonroutine activities. For example, progress reports would keep management informed about a committee’s preparations for a trade show 14 months from now. Such reports usually answer three questions: (1) Is the project on schedule? (2) Are corrective measures needed? (3) What activities are next? • Justification/recommendation reports. Justification and recommendation reports are similar to information reports in that they present information. However, they

This greenhouse at the famous Keukenhof Gardens in Holland became a key point in the justification report of a tour organizer. In supporting his inclusion of the Keukenhof in a proposed itinerary for an American travel company, the writer argued that tourists can never be rained out. In addition to the 70 acres of outdoor gardens, thousands of flowers bloom under glass. Justification and recommendation reports are most persuasive when their recommendations are supported by solid facts.

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Justification/recommendation and feasibility reports attempt to solve problems by presenting data, drawing conclusions, and making recommendations.

Minutes of meetings and summaries organize and condense information for quick reading and reference.

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•

249

offer analysis in addition to data. They attempt to solve problems by evaluating options and offering recommendations. These reports are often solicited; that is, the writer has been asked to investigate and report. Feasibility reports. When a company must decide whether to proceed with a plan of action, it may require a feasibility report. For example, should a company invest thousands of dollars to expand its Web site? A feasibility report would examine the practicality of implementing the proposal. Minutes of meetings. A record of the proceedings of a meeting is called “the minutes.” This record is generally kept by a secretary or recorder. Minutes may be kept for groups that convene regularly, such as clubs, committees, and boards of directors. Summaries. A summary condenses the primary ideas, conclusions, and recommendations of a longer report or publication. Employees may be asked to write summaries of technical reports. Students may be asked to write summaries of periodical articles or books to sharpen their writing skills. Executive summaries condense long reports such as business plans and proposals.

We’ll now look more closely at each of these report categories, beginning with information reports.

INFORMATION REPORTS

Organize information chronologically, alphabetically, topically, geographically, journalistically, from simple to complex, or from most to least important.

Writers of information reports provide information without drawing conclusions or making recommendations. Some information reports are highly standardized, such as police reports, hospital admittance reports, monthly sales reports, or government regulatory reports. Other information reports are more personalized, as illustrated in the letter report shown in Figure 9.2. Information reports generally contain three parts: introduction, body (findings), and conclusion. The body may have many subsections. Consider these suggestions for writing information reports: • In the introduction explain why you are writing. For some reports, describe what methods and sources were used to gather information and why they are credible. Provide any special background information that may be necessary. Preview what is to follow. • In the findings section organize the facts in a logical sequence. You might group information in one of these patterns: (1) chronological, (2) alphabetical, (3) topical, (4) geographical, (5) journalism style (who, what, when, where, why, and how), (6) simple-to-complex, or (7) most to least important. Organizational strategies will be explained in detail in Chapter 10. In the two-page information report shown in Figure 9.2, Christopher Kelley responds to an inquiry about prepaid legal services. In the introduction he explains the purpose of the report and previews the organization of the report. In the findings/facts section, he arranges the information topically. He uses the summary to emphasize the three main topics previously discussed.

PROGRESS REPORTS Progress reports tell management whether projects are on schedule.

Continuing projects often require progress reports to describe their status. These reports may be external (advising customers regarding the headway of their projects) or internal (informing management of the status of activities). Progress reports typically follow this pattern of development: • Specify in the opening the purpose and nature of the project. • Provide background information if the audience requires filling in. • Describe the work completed.

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Explain the work currently in progress, including personnel, activities, methods, and locations. Anticipate problems and possible remedies. Discuss future activities and provide the expected completion date.

As a location manager in the film industry, Katherine Granado frequently writes progress reports, such as the one shown in Figure 9.5. Producers want to be

FIGURE 9.5

Progress Report—Memo Format

QuaStar Productions Interoffice Memo

DATE:

February 7, 200x

TO:

Mark Bidema, Executive Producer

FROM:

Katherine Granado, Location Manager

SUBJECT: Sites for Bodega Bay Telefilm

Identifies project and previews report

This memo describes the progress of my search for an appropriate rustic home, villa, or ranch to be used for the wine country sequences in the telefilm Bodega Bay. Three sites will be available for you to inspect on February 21, as you requested. Background: In preparation for this assignment, I consulted Director Damien Fitzgerald, who gave me his preferences for the site. He suggested a picturesque ranch home situated near vineyards, preferably with redwoods in the background. I also consulted Producer Meghan Friederichs, who told me that the site must accommodate 55 to 70 production crew members for approximately three weeks of filming. Valerie Hannah, telefilm accountant, requested that the cost of the site not exceed $24,000 for a three-week lease.

Saves space by integrating headings into paragraphs

Work Completed: For the past eight days I have searched the Russian River area in the Northern California wine country. Possible sites include turn-ofthe-century estates, Victorian mansions, and rustic farmhouses in the towns of Duncans Mills, Sebastopol, and Guerneville. One exceptional site is the Country Meadow Inn, a 97-year-old farmhouse nestled among vineyards with a breathtaking view of valleys, redwoods, and distant mountains. Work to Be Completed. In the next five days, I’ll search the Sonoma County countryside, including several wineries such as Geyser Peak, Canyon Road, and Rodney Strong. Many old wineries contain charming structures that may present exactly the degree of atmosphere and mystery we need. These wineries have the added advantage of easy access. I will also inspect possible structures at the Armstrong Redwoods State Reserve and the Kruse Rhododendron Reserve, both within 100 miles of Guerneville. I’ve made an appointment with the director of state parks to discuss our project, use of state lands, restrictions, and costs.

Tells the bad news as well as the good

Anticipated Problems: You should be aware of two complications for filming in this area. 1. Property owners seem unfamiliar with the making of films and are suspicious of short-term leases. 2. Many trees won’t have leaves again until May. You may wish to change the filming schedule somewhat. By February 14 you’ll have my final report describing the three most promising locations. Arrangements will be made for you to visit these sites February 21.

Concludes by giving completion date and describing what follows

Tips for Writing Progress Reports • • • •

Identify the purpose and the nature of the project immediately. Supply background information only if the reader must be educated. Describe the work completed. Discuss the work in progress, including personnel, activities, methods, and locations. • Identify problems and possible remedies. • Consider future activities. • Close by telling the expected date of completion.

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informed of what she’s doing, and a phone call doesn’t provide a permanent record. Notice that her progress report identifies the project and provides brief background information. She then explains what has been completed, what is yet to be completed, and what problems she expects.

JUSTIFICATION/RECOMMENDATION REPORTS Justification/recommendation reports analyze a problem, discuss options, and present a recommendation, solution, or action to be taken.

Both managers and employees must occasionally write reports that justify or recommend something, such as buying equipment, changing a procedure, hiring an employee, consolidating departments, or investing funds. Large organizations sometimes prescribe how these reports should be organized; they use forms with conventional headings. When you are free to select an organizational plan yourself, however, let your audience and topic determine your choice of direct or indirect structure.

Direct Pattern For nonsensitive topics and recommendations that will be agreeable to readers, you can organize directly according to the following sequence: • In the introduction identify the problem or need briefly. • Announce the recommendation, solution, or action concisely and with action verbs. • Explain more fully the benefits of the recommendation or steps to be taken to solve the problem. • Discuss pros, cons, and costs. • Conclude with a summary specifying the recommendation and necessary action. Jonathan Crider applied the preceding process in writing the recommendation report shown in Figure 9.6. Jonathan is operations manager in charge of a fleet of trucks for a large parcel delivery company in Charleston, South Carolina. When he heard about a new Goodyear smart tire with an electronic chip, Jonathan thought his company should give the new tire a try. His recommendation report begins with a short introduction to the problem followed by his two recommendations. Then he explains the product and how it would benefit his company. He concludes by highlighting his recommendation and specifying the action to be taken.

Indirect Pattern When a reader may oppose a recommendation or when circumstances suggest caution, don’t be in a hurry to reveal your recommendation. Consider using the following sequence for an indirect approach to your recommendations: • Make a general reference to the problem, not to your recommendation, in the subject line. • Describe the problem or need your recommendation addresses. Use specific examples, supporting statistics, and authoritative quotes to lend credibility to the seriousness of the problem. • Discuss alternative solutions, beginning with the least likely to succeed. • Present the most promising alternative (your recommendation) last. • Show how the advantages of your recommendation outweigh its disadvantages. • Summarize your recommendation. If appropriate, specify the action it requires. • Ask for authorization to proceed if necessary.

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FIGURE 9.6

Justification/Recommendation Report—Memo Format

Reporting Workplace Data

Pacific Trucking, Inc.

Interoffice Memo DATE:

July 19, 200x

TO:

Symone Fisher, Vice President

Applies memo format for short informal internal report

FROM:

Jonathan Crider, Operations Manager

Presents recommendations immediately

• Purchase 24 Goodyear smart tires • Begin a one-year pilot test on four trucks

Justifies recommendations by explaining product and benefits

SUBJECT: Pilot Testing Smart Tires Next to fuel, truck tires are our biggest operating cost. Last year we spent $211,000 replacing and retreading tires for 495 trucks. This year the costs will be greater because prices have jumped at least 12 percent and because we’ve increased our fleet to 550 trucks. Truck tires are an additional burden since they require labor-intensive paperwork to track their warranties, wear, and retread histories. To reduce our long-term costs and to improve our tire tracking system, I recommend that we do the following:

How Smart Tires Work Smart tires have an embedded computer chip that monitors wear, performance, and durability. The chip also creates an electronic fingerprint for positive identification of a tire. By passing a handheld sensor next to the tire, we can learn where and when a tire was made (for warranty and other information), how much tread it had originally, and its serial number. How Smart Tires Could Benefit Us Although smart tires are initially more expensive than other tires, they could help us improve our operations and save us money in four ways: 1. Retreads. Goodyear believes that the wear data is so accurate that we should be able to retread every tire three times, instead of our current two times. If that’s true, in one year we could save at least $27,000 in new tire costs. 2. Safety. Accurate and accessible wear data should reduce the danger of blowouts and flat tires. Last year, drivers reported six blowouts. 3. Record keeping and maintenance. Smart tires could reduce our maintenance costs considerably. Currently, we use an electric branding iron to mark serial numbers on new tires. Our biggest headache is manually reading those serial numbers, decoding them, and maintaining records to meet safety regulations. Reading such data electronically could save us thousands of dollars in labor. 4. Theft protection. The chip can be used to monitor each tire as it leaves or enters the warehouse or yard, thus discouraging theft.

Explains recommendations in more detail

Introduces problem briefly

Enumerates items for maximum impact and readability

Summary and Action Specifically, I recommend that you do the following: • Authorize the special purchase of 24 Goodyear smart tires at $450 each, plus one electronic sensor at $1,200 • Approve a one-year pilot test in our Atlanta territory that equips four trucks with smart tires and tracks their performance

Specifies action to be taken

Tips for Memo Reports • Use memo format for most short (eight or fewer pages) informal reports within an organization. • Leave side margins of 1 to 11/4 inches. • Sign your initials on the FROM line. • Use an informal, conversational style. • Include talking (descriptive) or functional side headings to organize a report into logical divisions. • For a receptive audience, put recommendations first. • For an unreceptive audience, put recommendations last.

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FEASIBILITY REPORTS Feasibility reports examine the practicality and advisability of following a course of action. They answer this question: Will this plan or proposal work? Feasibility reports typically are internal reports written to advise on matters such as consolidating departments, offering a wellness program to employees, or hiring an outside firm to handle a company’s accounting or computing operations. These reports may also be written by consultants called in to investigate a problem. The focus in these reports is on the decision: stopping or proceeding with the proposal. Since your role is not to persuade the reader to accept the decision, you’ll want to present the decision immediately. In writing feasibility reports, as shown in Figure 9.7, consider these suggestions: • Announce your decision immediately. • Describe the background and problem necessitating the proposal. • Discuss the benefits of the proposal. • Describe any problems that may result. • Calculate the costs associated with the proposal, if appropriate. • Show the time frame necessary for implementing the proposal.

Feasibility reports analyze whether a proposal or plan will work.

FIGURE 9.7

Feasibility Report—Memo Format

DATE:

March 12, 200x

TO:

Shannon O’Donnell, Vice President

FROM:

Allison Myers-Whitman, Human Resources Manager

SUBJECT: FEASIBILITY OF AN E-MAIL AND INTERNET MONITORING PROGRAM

Outlines organization of the report

Evaluates positive and negative aspects of proposal objectively

The plan calling for implementing an employee e-mail and Internet monitoring program is workable, and I think it could be fully implemented by May 1. This report discusses the background, benefits, problems, costs, and time frame involved in executing the plan.

Reveals decision immediately

Background: Current Misuse of E-Mail and the Internet. We currently provide all employees with a company e-mail account to use for interoffice correspondence and for communicating with outside clients. E-mail is a fast, efficient, and costeffective means of communication when used correctly. We also allow employees full Internet access to help them perform their job duties more effectively. However, we have received numerous reports that many employees are using e-mail and the Internet for personal reasons, resulting in lowered productivity, higher costs, and a strain on our network. These problems were submitted to an outside consultant, who suggested an e-mail and Internet monitoring program.

Describes problem and background

Benefits of Plan: Appropriate Use of E-Mail and the Internet. The proposed plan calls for installing e-mail and Internet monitoring software such as EmployeeMonitoring (http://www.employeemonitoring.net/), UntraView Plus (http://www.awarenesstech.com/), or Spector CNE (http://www.spectorcne.com/). We would fully disclose to employees that this software will be monitoring their e-mail and Internet activity. We will also conduct training to teach employees what e-mail and Internet use is considered appropriate and inappropriate. The software will limit any liability that may result from charges of sexual harassment, workplace harassment, or cyberstalking. It will help us avoid copyright infringement from employees illegally downloading software. In addition, the software can help ensure our credibility and professional reputation. Problems of Plan: Difficulty in Convincing Employees to Accept the Plan. One of the biggest problems will be convincing employees to accept this new policy without feeling as if their privacy is being violated. However, I believe that, with the help of our consultant, we can communicate the reasons for this policy in a way that employees will understand. In addition, if we provide adequate training, we can help employees understand appropriate and inappropriate use of e-mail and the Internet on the job. Costs. Implementing the employee e-mail and monitoring plan involves two direct costs. The first is the initial cost of the software, which will be $200 to $500, depending on the package we choose. The second cost involves employee training, including the cost of the trainer. I estimate initial training will cost approximately $800. I believe, however, that the costs involved are within the estimates planned for this project. Time Frame. Selecting the software package to purchase will take about two weeks. Preparing a training program will require another three weeks. Once the program is started, I expect a breaking-in period of at least three months. By May 1 the e-mail and Internet monitoring program will be fully implemented and showing positive results in increased productivity, decreased costs, lowered liability, and improved network performance.

Presents costs and schedule; omits unnecessary summary

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MINUTES OF MEETINGS Minutes provide a summary of the proceedings of meetings. Formal, traditional minutes, illustrated in Figure 9.8, are written for large groups and legislative bodies. If you are the secretary or recorder of a meeting, you’ll want to write minutes that do the following: • Provide the name of the group, as well as the date, time, and place of the meeting. • Identify the names of attendees and absentees, if appropriate. • Describe the disposition of previous minutes. • Record old business, new business, announcements, and reports. • Include the precise wording of motions; record the vote and action taken. • Conclude with the name and signature of the person recording the minutes.

FIGURE 9.8

Minutes of Meeting—Report Format

International Association of Administrative Professionals Planning Committee Meeting March 14, 2008, 10 a.m. Conference Room B, Marriott Century Hotel

Shows attendees and absentees

Present: Leah Bustillo, Eric Evangelista, Harrison Farr, Ritu Garewal, Sean Langevin, Nicole Parsay, Michelle Tse Absent:

Benjamin Mobley

Call to Order/Approval of Agenda/Approval of Minutes The meeting was called to order by Chair Nicole Parsay at 10:05 a.m. The agenda was unanimously approved as distributed. Minutes from the February 1 meeting were read and approved. Reports of Officers and Committees Michelle Tse reported on convention exhibits and her desire to involve more companies and products during this year’s international convention. Discussion followed regarding how this might be accomplished. MOTION: That IAAP office staff develop a list of possible convention exhibitors. The list should be submitted at the next meeting. (Bustillo/Garewal). PASSED 7–0.

Notes approval of agenda and describes disposition of previous minutes

Unfinished Business

Describes discussion; does not record every word

Leah Bustillo and Harrison Farr reviewed the information distributed at the last meeting about hotels being considered for the Denver conference. Leah said that the Brown Palace Hotel has ample conference rooms and remodeled interiors. Harrison reported that the Adams Mark Hotel also has excellent banquet facilities, adequate meeting facilities, and rooms at $169 per night. MOTION: To recommend that IAAP hold its International Convention at the Adams Mark Hotel in Denver, July 17–20, 2008. (Evangelista/Parsay). PASSED 6–1. New Business

Describes new business and announcements

The chair announced three possible themes for the convention, all of which focused on technology and the changing role of administrative assistants. Sean Langevin suggested the following possible title: “Vision Without Boundaries.” Leah Bustillo suggested a communication theme. Several other possibilities were discussed. The chair appointed a subcommittee of Sean and Leah to bring to the next committee meeting two or three concrete theme ideas.

Highlights motions, showing name of person making motion and person seconding it

Harrison Farr thinks that IAAP should be doing more to help members stay ahead in the changing workplace. He suggested workshops to polish skills in word processing, project management, Web research, presentations, and scheduling software. MOTION: To recommend to IAAP that it investigate offering fee-based technology workshops at the national and regional conventions. (Garewal/Tse). PASSED 5–2. Adjournment

Records meeting adjournment and next meeting date and time

There being no further business, it was moved, seconded, and carried that the meeting be adjourned. The meeting was adjourned at 11:50 a.m. by Nicole Parsay. The next meeting will be held on April 15 at 10 a.m. at the Marriott Century Hotel. Respectfully submitted,

Harrison Farr, Secretary

Includes name and signature of person recording minutes

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255 Notice in Figure 9.8 that secretary Farr tries to summarize discussions rather than capture every comment. However, when a motion is made, he records it verbatim. He also shows in parentheses the name of the individual making the motion and the person who seconded it. By using all capital letters for MOTION and PASSED, he makes these important items stand out for easy reference. Informal minutes are usually shorter and easier to read than formal minutes. They may be formatted with three categories: summaries of topics discussed, decisions reached, and action items (showing the action item, the person responsible, and the due date).

SUMMARIES A summary condenses the primary ideas, conclusions, and recommendations of a longer publication.

A summary compresses the main points from a book, report, article, Web site, meeting, or convention. A summary saves time because it can reduce a report or article 85 to 95 percent. Employees are sometimes asked to write summaries that condense technical reports, periodical articles, or books so that their staffs or superiors may grasp the main ideas quickly. Students may be asked to write summaries of articles, chapters, or books to sharpen their writing skills and to confirm their knowledge of reading assignments. In writing a summary, you’ll follow these general guidelines: • Identify completely the article, book, or item being summarized (author’s name, document title, publication title, and date of publication). • Present the goal or purpose of the document being summarized. Why was it written? • Highlight the research methods (if appropriate), findings, conclusions, and recommendations. • Omit illustrations, examples, and references. • Improve readability by including descriptive (talking) or functional headings. • Include bulleted or enumerated items to provide high “skim” value. • Include your reactions or an overall evaluation of the document if asked to do so.

An executive summary presents an overview of a longer report or proposal and focuses on key points.

An executive summary summarizes a long report, proposal, or business plan. It concentrates on what management needs to know from a longer report. The executive summary shown in Figure 9.9 summarizes main points from a business plan prepared by Bluewater Koi fish farm. This company wants to expand, and it needs $72,000 to acquire additional land for three fish ponds. To secure financial backing, Bluewater wrote a business plan explaining its operation, service, product, marketing, and finances. Part of that business plan is an executive summary, which you see in Figure 9.9.

256 FIGURE 9.9

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Executive Summary (excerpt from business plan)

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY Bluewater Koi Expansion Plan

Summarizes purpose of longer report

The purpose of this business plan is to acquaint venture capitalists with Bluewater Koi fish farm and to solicit support for an expansion plan to be undertaken over the next two years. This report will do the following: • Profile the current Bluewater Koi operation • Explain the need for expansion to meet market demands • Summarize expansion costs and expected payback

Uses headings to improve readability

Business Profile Bluewater Creek is a 45-acre ornamental fish farm located in South Alabama. Bluewater specializes in breeding and selling koi, which are exotic and beautifully colored carp developed in Japan. Koi are collected by hobbyists and usually live in lushly landscaped fish ponds indoors or outside. Although a grand champion koi in Asia has sold for over a million dollars, the koi sold at Bluewater Creek range in price from $2.20 to $90 each. Bluewater had total sales of $347,000 last year in its retail and wholesale operations. The fish at Bluewater are grown in five surface ponds, and the operation ranges from breeding to shipping.

Provides overview of main points

Expansion to Meet Market Demands

Follows sequence of longer report

Bluewater has enjoyed increasing sales and profits since its inception as a fish hatchery in 1981. It has developed a large clientele, selling to retailers and wholesalers through its print catalog and its Web site. Fish quality and health are of utmost importance at Bluewater. Because koi are susceptible to viruses, Bluewater has adopted a policy of not buying or reselling fish from other U.S. growers. As a result, all Bluewater koi are bred and grown on site. This policy, coupled with constantly increasing sales, makes it necessary to acquire a 9-acre farm to accommodate three additional growing ponds. Financial Needs and Payback

Acquiring the 9-acre farm is expected to cost $38,000. An additional $12,000 is needed to move 60,000 cubic yards of earth to enable the ponds to reach the natural water table necessary for maintaining water levels in the ponds. Other expenses include $22,000 to expand the breeding operation, which involves matching high-quality male and female brood fish imported from Japan. Artificial spawning yields high hatching rates. But this practice is labor intensive. Equally laborious is the following culling process in which only the best colored, patterned, and conformed fish are kept. A total investment of $72,000 will enable Bluewater to complete its needed expansion. Projected annual sales and costs indicate that Bluewater should be able to repay the loan in five years.

Focuses on most important parts of business plan, including marketing, finances, and payback

Breeding beautifully colored koi for collectors is a profitable but hazardous and costly business. Commercial growers need acreage to build breeding and growing ponds, expensive equipment to monitor water quality and prevent diseases, and caring personnel to oversee the intricate breeding program. To secure financial backing, business such as Bluewater Koi submit proposals that often include executive summaries, such as that shown in Figure 9.9.

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Informal Reports

SUMMING UP AND LOOKING FORWARD This chapter presented six types of informal business reports: information reports, progress reports, justification/ recommendation reports, feasibility reports, minutes of meetings, and summaries. Information reports generally provide data only. Justification/recommendation and feasibility reports are more analytical in that they evaluate the information, draw conclusions, and make recommendations. This chapter discussed four formats for reports. Letter format is used for reports sent outside an organization; Format is used for internal reports. Formal reports

are formatted on plain paper with a manuscript design, while routine reports may be formatted on prepared forms. The chapter presented numerous model documents illustrating the many kinds of reports and their formats. All of the examples in this chapter are considered relatively informal. Longer, more formal reports are necessary for major investigations and research. These reports and proposals, along with suggestions for research methods, are presented in Chapter 10.

CRITICAL THINKING 1. Why are reports necessary to businesses, and why do today’s businesspeople write so many? 2. How do business reports differ from business letters? 3. How are informative reports different from analytical reports? Give an original example of each.

4. Of the reports presented in this chapter, discuss those that require indirect development versus those that require direct development. 5. How are the reports that you write for your courses similar to those presented here? How are they different?

CHAPTER REVIEW 6. What is the first step when beginning the process of report writing? What question should you ask yourself in the beginning?

7. List six kinds of informal reports. Be prepared to describe each.

8. List four formats suitable for reports. Be prepared to discuss each.

9. From the lists you made in Questions 7 and 8, select a report category and appropriate format for each of the following situations. a. Your supervisor asks you to review the Web site of one of your competitors and to write a report that condenses the important content.

b. You want to tell management about an idea you have for consolidating two departments in order to eliminate redundancy and lower expenses.

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c. You are in charge of developing a new procedure for processing payroll. Your boss wants to know what you have done thus far.

d. You are asked to record the proceedings of a meeting of your college’s student association.

e. As Accounting Department manager, you have been asked to describe for all employees your procedure for processing expense claims.

f. As a security officer, you are writing a report of an office break-in.

g. At a Web-based retail company, your supervisor asks you to investigate ways to reduce the number of steps that customers must go through to place an online order. She wants your report to examine the problem and offer solutions.

10. If you were about to write the following reports, where would you gather information? Be prepared to discuss the specifics of each choice. a. You are a student representative on a curriculum committee. You are asked to study the course requirements in your major and make recommendations.

b. As department manager, you must write job descriptions for several new positions you wish to establish in your department.

c. You are proposing a new company Internet-use policy to management.

d. You must document the progress of a 12-month campaign to alter the image of Levi-Strauss jeans.

11. List and explain four ways you can build credibility in a business report.

12. What one factor distinguishes reports developed directly from those developed indirectly?

13. What is the difference between a functional head and a talking head? Give an example of each for a report about employee reactions to a proposed reduction in health benefits.

14. What should the minutes of a meeting include?

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15. What should a summary of a long article or report contain?

WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES Evaluating Headings and Titles Identify the following report headings and titles as talking or functional/descriptive. Discuss the usefulness and effectiveness of each. 16. Background

17. Need for Changing Passwords Regularly

18. Annual Budget

19. How Instant Messaging Can Improve Corporate Communication

20. Solution: Promoting an Employee Carpool Program

21. Solving Our Networking Problems With an Extranet

22. Comparing Copier Volume, Ease of Use, and Speed

23. Alternatives

ACTIVITIES AND CASES

9.1 Information Report: Describing Your Job Your instructor wants to learn about your employment. Select a position you now hold or one that you have held in the past. If you have not been employed, choose a campus, professional, or community organization to which you belong. Your Task. Write an information report describing your employment. As an introduction describe the company and its products or services, its ownership, and its location. As the main part of the report, describe your position, including its tasks and the skills required to perform these tasks. Summarize by describing the experience you gained. Your memo report should be single-spaced and 11⁄2 to 2 pages long and should be addressed to your instructor.

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WEB

9.2 Information Report: Searching for Career Information Gather information about a career or position in which you might be interested. Learn about the nature of the job. Discover whether certification, a license, or experience is required. One of the best places to search is the latest Occupational Outlook Handbook. Use a search engine such as Google (http://www.google.com) to locate the handbook, sponsored by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Click the OOH Search/A-Z Index link; then search for a specific job title or search the alphabetic list for an occupation. Your Task. Write an information report to your instructor that describes your target career area. Discuss the nature of the work, working conditions, necessary qualifications, and the future job outlook for the occupation. Include information about typical salary ranges and career paths. If your instructor wants an extended report, collect information about two companies where you might apply. Investigate each company’s history, products and/or services, size, earnings, reputation, and number of employees. Describe the functions of an employee working in the position you have investigated. To do this, interview one or more individuals who are working in that position. Devote several sections of your report to the specific tasks, functions, duties, and opinions of these individuals. You can make this into a recommendation report by drawing conclusions and making recommendations. One conclusion that you could draw relates to success in this career area. Who might be successful in this field? WEB

9.3 Information Report: Exploring a Possible Place to Work You are thinking about taking a job with a Fortune 500 company, and you want to learn as much as possible about the company. Your Task. Select a Fortune 500 company (or any other company that interests you), and collect information about it on the Web. Visit www.hoovers.com for basic facts. Then take a look at the company’s Web site; check its background, news releases, and annual report. Learn about its major product, service, or emphasis. Find its Fortune 500 ranking (if applicable), its current stock price (if listed), and its high and low range for the year. Look up its profit-to-earnings ratio. Track its latest marketing plan, promotion, or product. Identify its home office, major officers, and number of employees. Find out about the company’s future plans. In a memo report to your instructor, summarize your research findings. Explain why this company would be a good or bad employment choice.

9.4 Progress Report: Making Headway Toward Your Degree You agreed with your parents (or spouse, partner, relative, or friend) that you would submit a progress report at this time describing the progress you have made toward your educational goal (employment, certificate, or degree). Your Task. In memo format write a progress report that fulfills your promise to describe your progress toward your educational goal. Address your progress report to your parents, spouse, partner, relative, or friend. In your memo (1) describe your goal; (2) summarize the work you have completed thus far; (3) discuss thoroughly the work currently in progress, including your successes and anticipated obstacles; and (4) forecast your future activities in relation to your scheduled completion date.

9.5 Progress Report: Keeping Your Supervisor Updated As office manager for the Animal Rescue Foundation (www.arf.net), a nonprofit organization that rescues and finds homes for abandoned and abused animals, you have been asked to come up with ways to increase community awareness of your organization. For the past month you have been meeting with business and community leaders, conducting Web research, and visiting with representatives from other nonprofit organizations. Your supervisor has just asked you to prepare a written report to outline what you have accomplished so far. Your Task. In memo format write a progress report to your supervisor. In your memo (1) state whether the project is on schedule; (2) summarize the activities you have completed thus far; (3) discuss thoroughly the work currently in progress; and (4) describe your future activities. Also let your supervisor know any obstacles you’ve encountered and whether the project is on schedule.

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9.6 Progress Report:Connecting With E-Mail If you are working on a long report for either this chapter or Chapter 10, keep your instructor informed of your progress. Your Task. Send your instructor a report via e-mail detailing the progress you are making on your long report assignment. Discuss (1) the purpose of the report, (2) the work already completed, (3) the work currently in progress, and (4) your schedule for completing the report. CRITICAL THINKING

9.7 Justification/Recommendation Report: Expanding the Company Library Despite the interest in online publications, managers and employees at your company still like to browse through magazines in the company library. Andy Kivel, the company librarian, wants to add business periodicals to the library subscription list and has requested help from various company divisions. Your Task. You’ve been asked to recommend four periodicals in your particular specialty (accounting, marketing, etc.). Visit your library and use appropriate indexes and guides to select four periodicals to recommend. Write a memo report to Mr. Kivel describing the particular readership, usual contents, and scope of each periodical. To judge each adequately, you should examine several issues. Explain why you think each periodical should be ordered and who would read it. Convince the librarian that your choices would be beneficial to your department. TEAM

9.8 Justification/Recommendation Report: Solving a Campus Problem In any organization, room for improvement always exists. Your college campus is no different. You are the member of a student task force that has been asked to identify problems and suggest solutions. Your Task. In groups of two to five, investigate a problem on your campus, such as inadequate parking, slow registration, poor class schedules, inefficient bookstore, weak job-placement program, unrealistic degree requirements, or lack of internship programs. Within your group develop a solution to the problem. If possible, consult the officials involved to ask for their input in arriving at a feasible solution. Do not attack existing programs; instead, strive for constructive discussion and harmonious improvements. After reviewing persuasive techniques discussed in Chapter 7, write a justification/recommendation report in memo or letter format. Address your report to the college president. CRITICAL THINKING

TEAM

WEB

INFOTRAC

9.9 Justification/Recommendation Report: Developing a Company E-Mail and Web-Use Policy As a manager in a midsized financial services firm, you are aware that members of your department frequently use e-mail and the Internet for private messages, shopping, games, and other personal activities. In addition to the strain on your company’s computer network, you worry about declining productivity, security problems, and liability issues. When you walked by one worker’s computer and saw what looked like pornography on the screen, you knew you had to do something. Although workplace privacy is a controversial issue for unions and employee-rights groups, employers have legitimate reasons for wanting to know what is happening on their computers. A high percentage of lawsuits involve the use and abuse of e-mail. You think that the executive council should establish some kind of e-mail and Web-use policy. The council is generally receptive to sound suggestions, especially if they are inexpensive. You decide to talk with other managers about the problem and write a justification/recommendation report. Your Task. In teams of two to five, discuss the need for an e-mail and Web-use policy. Using InfoTrac and the Web, find sample policies used by other firms. Look for examples of companies struggling with lawsuits over e-mail abuse. Find information about employers’ rights to monitor employees’ e-mail and Web use. Use this research to determine what your company’s e-mail and Web-use policy should cover. Each member of the team should present and support his or her ideas regarding what should be included in the policy and how to best present your ideas to the executive council. Write a convincing justification/recommendation report in memo or letter format to the executive council based on the conclusions you draw from your research and discussion. Decide whether you should be direct or indirect. CRITICAL THINKING

9.10 Feasibility Report: Professional Business Organization To fulfill a student project in your department, you have been asked to submit a letter report to the dean evaluating the feasibility of starting a Phi Beta Lambda (http://www.fbla-pbl.org/ ) chapter on campus.

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Your Task. Find out how many business students are on your campus, the benefits Phi Beta Lambda would provide for students, how one goes about starting a chapter, and whether a faculty sponsor is needed. Assume that you conducted an informal survey of business students. Of the 39 who filled out the survey, 31 said they would be interested in joining. Write a report in memo or letter format to the dean outlining the practicality and advisability of starting a Phi Beta Lambda chapter on your college campus. CRITICAL THINKING

9.11 Feasibility Report: Improving Employee Fitness Your company is considering ways to promote employee fitness and morale. Your Task. Select a possible fitness program that seems reasonable for your company. Consider a softball league, bowling teams, a basketball league, lunchtime walks, lunchtime fitness speakers and demos, company-sponsored health club memberships, a workout room, a fitness center, nutrition programs, and so on. Assume that your supervisor has tentatively agreed to one of the programs and has asked you to write a memo report investigating its feasibility.

9.12 Minutes: Recording the Proceedings of a Meeting Attend an open meeting of an organization at your school, in your community, or elsewhere. Assume that you are asked to record the proceedings. Your Task. Record the meeting proceedings in formal or informal minutes. Review the chapter to be sure you include all the data necessary for minutes. Focus on motions, votes, decisions reached, and action taken. INFOTRAC

WEB

9.13 Summary: Using Weblogs for Research Your supervisor has just learned about the popularity of using weblogs (or “blogs”) as research tools. This is the first he’s heard of this new communication tool, and he wants to learn more. He asks you to conduct Internet research to see what has been written on the subject. Your Task. Using InfoTrac or the Web, find an article that discusses the use of weblogs in the workplace for research purposes. In a memo report addressed to your boss, Charlie Shi, summarize the primary ideas, conclusions, and recommendations presented in the article. Be sure to identify the author, article name, journal, and date of publication in your summary. INFOTRAC

WEB

9.14 Executive Summary: Keeping the Boss Informed Like many executives, your boss is too rushed to read long journal articles. But she is eager to keep up with developments in her field. Assume she has asked you to help her stay abreast of research in her field. She asks you to submit to her one executive summary every month on an article of interest. Your Task. In your field of study, select a professional journal, such as the Journal of Management. Using an InfoTrac Advanced search or a Web search, look for articles in your target journal. Select an article that is at least five pages long and is interesting to you. Write an executive summary in memo format. Include an introduction that might begin with As you requested, I am submitting this executive summary of . . . . Identify the author, article name, journal, and date of publication. Explain what the author intended to do in the study or article. Summarize three or four of the most important findings of the study or article. Use descriptive rather than functional headings. Summarize any recommendations made. Your boss would also like a concluding statement indicating your reaction to the article. Address your memo to Martha Laham.

9.15 Report Topics A list of over 90 report topics is available at your book companion site (http://guffey.swlearning.com). The topics are divided into the following categories: accounting, finance, human resources, marketing, information systems, management, and general business/education/campus issues. You can collect information for many of these reports by using InfoTrac and the Web. Your instructor may assign them as individual or team projects. All involve critical thinking in collecting and organizing information into logical reports.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHECKUP—9 Semicolons and Colons Review Sections 2.16–2.19 in the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook. Then study each of the following statements. Insert any necessary punctuation. Use the delete sign to omit unnecessary punctuation. In the space provided indicate the number of changes you made and record the number of the G/M principle(s) illustrated. (When you replace one punctuation mark with another, count it as one change.) If you make no changes, write 0. This exercise concentrates on semicolon and colon use, but you will also be responsible for correct comma use. When you finish, compare your responses with those shown at the end of the book. If your responses differ, study carefully the specific principles shown in parentheses. 2

(2.16a)

Example

Gonzalo Cino’s job is to make sure that his company has enough cash to meet its obligations moreover he is responsible for finding ways to reduce operating expenses.

1. Short-term financing refers to a period of one year or less long-term financing on the other hand refers to a period of more than one year. 2. Cash resulting from holiday product sales does not arrive until January therefore our cash flow becomes critical in November and December. 3. We must negotiate short-term financing during the following months October November and December. 4. Large American corporations that offer a variety of financial services are, Bank of America and Citibank. 5. Although some firms rarely need to borrow short-term money many businesses find that they require significant credit to pay for current production and sales costs. 6. A supermarket probably requires no short-term credit a seasonal company such as a ski resort however typically would need considerable short-term credit. 7. We offer three basic types of short-term lines of credit commercial paper and single-payer credit. 8. Speakers at the conference on credit include the following businesspeople Lynne Krause financial manager American International Investments Patrick Coughlin comptroller NationsBank and Shannon Daly legal counsel Fidelity National Financial. 9. The prime interest rate is set by one or more of the nation’s largest banks and this rate is offered to a bank’s best customers. 10. Many methods are used to calculate finance charges for example average daily balance adjusted balance two-cycle average daily balance and previous balance. 11. Hot Topic, which is a small clothing retailer with a solid credit rating recently applied for a loan but Union Bank refused the loan application because the bank was short on cash. 12. When Hot Topic was refused by Union Bank its financial managers submitted applications to: Chemical Bank, Washington Mutual, and Wells Fargo. 13. The cost of financing capital investments at the present time is very high therefore Hot Topic’s managers elected to postpone certain expansion projects. 14. If interest rates reach as high as 18 percent the cost of borrowing becomes prohibitive and many businesses are forced to reconsider or abandon projects that require financing. 15. Several investors decided to pool their resources then they could find attractive investments for large-scale projects.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHALLENGE—9 The following progress report has faults in grammar, punctuation, spelling, number form, wordiness, and word use. Use standard proofreading marks (see Appendix B) to correct the errors. When you finish, your instructor can show you the revised version of this report.

DATE:

November 9, 200x

TO:

Mark Edelstein, President

FROM:

Darmisha Pierson, Development Officer

SUBJECT:

Progress Report on Construction of Seattle Branch Office

Construction of Vintage Realtys Seattle Branch Office has entered Phase three. Although we are 1 week behind the contractors original schedule the building should be already for occupancie on March 10.

Past Progress Phaze one involved development of the architects plans, this process was completed onJune 5. Phaze two involved submission of the plan’s for county building department approval. Each of the plans were then given to the following 2 contractors for the purpose of eliciting estimates, David Gray Construction, and Millennium Builders. The lowest bidder was David Gray Construction, consequently this firm began construction on July 15.

Present Status Phase three includes initial construction processes. We have completed the following steps as of November 9: •

Demolition of existing building at 11485 NW 27 Avenue

•

Excavation of foundation footings for the building and for the surrounding wall

•

Steel reinforcing rods installed in building pad and wall

•

Pouring of concrete foundation

David Gray Construction indicated that he was 1 week behind schedule for these reasons. The building inspectors required more steel reinforcement then was showed on the architects blueprints. In addition excavation of the footings required more time then the contractor anticipated because the 18 inch footings were all below grade.

Future Schedule In spite of the fact that we lost time in Phase 3 we are substantially on target for the completion of this office building by March 1. Phase 4 include the following activities, framing drywalling and installation of plumbing.

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Informal Reports Persuasive Messages

COLLABORATION LAYING THE GROUNDWORK FOR TEAM WRITING PROJECTS The chances are that you can look forward to some kind of team writing in your future career. You may collaborate voluntarily (seeking advice and differing perspectives) or involuntarily (through necessity or by assignment). Working with other people can be frustrating, particularly when some team members don’t carry their weight or when conflict breaks out. Team projects, though, can be harmonious, productive, and rewarding when members establish ground rules at the outset and adhere to guidelines such as those presented here.

Preparing to Work Together Before you discuss the project, talk about how your group will function. •

Limit the size of your team, if possible, to two to five members. Larger groups have more difficulties. An odd number is usually preferable to avoid ties in voting.

•

Name a team leader (to plan and conduct meetings), a recorder (to keep a record of group decisions), and an evaluator (to determine whether the group is on target and meeting its goals).

•

Decide whether your team will be governed by consensus (everyone must agree) or by majority rule.

•

Compare schedules of team members, and set up the best meeting times. Plan to meet often. Avoid other responsibilities during meetings. Team meetings can take place face-to-face or virtually.

•

Discuss the value of conflict. By bringing conflict into the open and encouraging confrontation, your team can prevent personal resentment and group dysfunction. Conflict can actually create better final documents by promoting new ideas and avoiding “groupthink.”

•

Discuss how you will deal with members who are not pulling their share of the load.

Planning the Document Once you’ve established ground rules, you’re ready to discuss the project and resulting document. Be sure to keep a record of the decisions your team makes. •

Establish the document’s specific purpose and identify the main issues involved.

•

Decide on the final form of the document. What parts will it have?

•

Discuss the audience(s) for the document and what appeal would help it achieve its purpose.

•

Develop a work plan. Assign jobs. Set deadlines.

•

Decide how the final document will be written: individuals working separately on assigned portions, one person writing the first draft, the entire group writing the complete document together, or some other method.

Collecting Information The following suggestions help teams gather accurate information: •

Brainstorm for ideas as a group.

•

Decide who will be responsible for gathering what information.

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•

Establish deadlines for collecting information.

•

Discuss ways to ensure the accuracy and currency of the information collected.

Organizing, Writing, and Revising As the project progresses, your team may wish to modify some of its earlier decisions. •

Review the proposed organization of your final document, and adjust it if necessary.

•

Write the first draft. If separate team members are writing segments, they should use the same word processing program to facilitate combining files.

•

Meet to discuss and revise the draft(s).

•

If individuals are working on separate parts, appoint one person (probably the best writer) to coordinate all the parts, striving for consistent style and format.

Editing and Evaluating Before the document is submitted, complete these steps: •

Give one person responsibility for finding and correcting grammatical and mechanical errors.

•

Meet as a group to evaluate the final document. Does it fulfill its purpose and meet the needs of the audience?

Career Application. Select a report topic from this chapter or Chapter 10. Assume that you must prepare the report as a team project. If you are working on a long report, your instructor may ask you to prepare individual progress reports as you develop your topic.

Your Task •

Form teams of two to five members.

•

Prepare to work together by using the suggestions provided here.

•

Plan your report by establishing its purpose, analyzing the audience, identifying the main issues, developing a work plan, and assigning tasks.

•

Collect information, organize the data, and write the first draft.

•

Decide how the document will be revised, edited, and evaluated.

Your instructor may assign grades not only on the final report but also on your team effectiveness and your individual contribution, as determined by fellow team members.

PROPOSALS AND FORMAL REPORTS “

Basically, our goal is

OBJECTIVES

to organize the world’s

• Identify and explain the parts of informal and formal proposals.

information and to

• Describe the preparatory steps for writing a formal report.

make it universally

• Learn to collect data from secondary sources including print and electronic sources.

accessible and useful.1

”

Larry Page, cofounder and CEO of Google

• Understand how to use Web browsers, search tools, and blogs to locate reliable data. • Discuss how to generate primary data from surveys, interviews, observation, and experimentation. • Understand the need for accurate documentation of data. • Describe how to organize report data, create an outline, and make effective headings. • Illustrate data using tables, charts, and graphs.

• Describe and sequence the parts of a formal report.

UNDERSTANDING BUSINESS PROPOSALS

Proposals are persuasive offers to solve problems, provide services, or sell equipment.

Both large and small companies today often use requests for proposals (RFPs) to solicit competitive bids on projects.

You may not be writing for the world, but you have the same goal as Larry Page when writing business proposals and formal reports: to make them accessible and useful to your readers. In this chapter you’ll learn how to achieve this goal. Our discussion will start with proposals. Proposals are written offers to solve problems, provide services, or sell equipment. Some proposals are internal, often taking the form of justification and recommendation reports. You learned about these reports in Chapter 9. Most proposals, however, are external and are a critical means of selling equipment and services that generate income for many companies. External proposals may be divided into two categories: solicited and unsolicited. Enterprising companies looking for work might submit unsolicited proposals, but most proposals are solicited. When firms know exactly what they want, they prepare a request for proposal (RFP), specifying their requirements. Government agencies as well as private businesses use RFPs to solicit competitive bids from vendors.

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For example, let’s say that sports shoe manufacturer New Balance wants to upgrade the computers and software in its human resources department. If it knows exactly what it wants, it would prepare a request for proposals (RFP) specifying its requirements. It then publicizes this RFP, and companies interested in bidding on the job submit proposals. Both large and small companies are increasingly likely to use RFPs to solicit competitive bids on their projects. This enables them to compare “apples to apples.” That is, they can compare prices from different companies on their projects. They also want the legal protection offered by proposals, which are legal contracts. Many companies earn a sizable portion of their income from sales resulting from proposals. That’s why creating effective proposals is especially important today. In writing proposals, the most important thing to remember is that proposals are sales presentations. They must be persuasive, not merely mechanical descriptions of what you can do. You may recall from Chapter 7 that effective persuasive sales messages (1) emphasize benefits for the reader, (2) “toot your horn” by detailing your expertise and accomplishments, and (3) make it easy for the reader to understand and respond.

INFORMAL PROPOSALS Informal proposals may contain an introduction, background information, the proposal, staffing requirements, a budget, and an authorization request.

Proposals may be informal or formal; they differ primarily in length and format. Informal proposals are often presented in short (two- to four-page) letters. Sometimes called letter proposals, they contain six principal parts: introduction, background, proposal, staffing, budget, and authorization request. The informal letter proposal shown in Figure 10.1 illustrates all six parts of a letter proposal. This proposal is addressed to a Honolulu dentist who wants to improve patient satisfaction.

Introduction

Effective proposal openers “hook” readers by promising extraordinary results or resources or by identifying key benefits, issues, or outcomes.

Most proposals begin by explaining briefly the reasons for the proposal and by highlighting the writer’s qualifications. To make your introduction more persuasive, you need to provide a “hook” to capture the reader’s interest. One proposal expert suggests these possibilities:2 • Hint at extraordinary results, with details to be revealed shortly. • Promise low costs or speedy results. • Mention a remarkable resource (well-known authority, new computer program, well-trained staff) available exclusively to you. • Identify a serious problem (worry item) and promise a solution, to be explained later. • Specify a key issue or benefit that you feel is the heart of the proposal. For example, in the introduction of the proposal shown in Figure 10.1, Travis Garcia focused on what the customer was looking for. He analyzed the request of the Honolulu dentist, Dr. Arbon, and decided that she was most interested in specific recommendations for improving service to her patients. But Garcia didn’t hit on this hook until he had written a first draft and had come back to it later. Indeed, it’s often a good idea to put off writing the introduction to a proposal until after you have completed other parts. For longer proposals the introduction also outlines the organization of the material to come. Although writers may know what goes into the proposal introduction, many face writer’s block before they get started. When she worked as a proposals manager at Hewlett-Packard, Mary Piecewicz recognized that writer’s block was a big problem for sales representatives on a proposal team. They simply didn’t know how to get started. Piecewicz offered the following advice: “To conquer writer’s block, begin with a bulleted list of what the customer is looking for. This list is like a road map; it gets you started and keeps you headed in the right direction.”3

Chapter 10

Proposals and Formal Reports

FIGURE 10.1

269

Informal Proposal

June 2, 200x Leilani Arbon, D.D.S. 1450 Kapiolani Boulevard Honolulu, HI 96814 Dear Dr. Arbon:

Uses opening paragraph in place of introduction

•

Helping you improve your practice is of the highest priority to us at Ala • Moana Research. That’s why we are pleased to submit the following proposal outlining our plan to help you more effectively meet your patients’ needs by analyzing their views about your practice. Background and Goals We understand that you have been incorporating a total quality management system in your practice. Although you have every reason to believe your patients are pleased with the service you provide, you would like to give them an opportunity to discuss what they like and possibly don’t like about your service. Specifically, your purposes are to survey your patients to (1) • determine the level of their satisfaction with you and your staff, (2) elicit their suggestions for improvement, (3) learn more about how they discovered you, and (4) compare your “preferred” and “standard” patients.

Announces heart of proposal

Grabs attention with “hook” that focuses on key benefit

Identifies four purposes of survey

Proposed Plan

•

On the basis of our experience in conducting many local and national customer satisfaction surveys, Ala Moana Research proposes the following plan:

•

Survey. We will develop a short but thorough questionnaire probing the data you desire. Although the survey instrument will include both open-ended and closed questions, it will concentrate on the latter. Closed questions enable respondents to answer easily; they also facilitate systematic data analysis. The questionnaire will measure patient reactions to such elements as courtesy, professionalism, accuracy of billing, friendliness, and waiting time. After you approve it, the questionnaire will be sent to a carefully selected sample of 300 patients whom you have separated into groupings of “preferred” and “standard.”

Divides total plan into logical segments for easy reading

Analysis. Data from the survey will be analyzed by demographic segments, such as patient type, age, and gender. Our experienced team of experts, using state-of-the-art computer systems and advanced statistical measures, will study the (1) degree of patient satisfaction, (2) reasons for satisfaction or • dissatisfaction, and (3) relationship between the responses of your “preferred” and “standard” patients. Moreover, our team will give you specific suggestions for making patient visits more pleasant.

•

Report. You will receive a final report with the key findings clearly spelled out, Dr. Arbon. Our expert staff will also draw conclusions based on these findings. The report will include tables summarizing all responses, broken down into groups of “preferred” and “standard” clients.

Describes procedure for solving problem or achieving goals

Background, Problem, Purpose In the background section of a proposal, the writer discusses the problem and goals of the project.

The background section identifies the problem and discusses the goals or purposes of the project. In an unsolicited proposal your goal is to convince the reader that a problem exists. Thus, you must present the problem in detail, discussing such factors as monetary losses, failure to comply with government regulations, and loss of customers. In a solicited proposal your aim is to persuade the reader that you understand the problem completely. Thus, if you are responding to an RFP, this means repeating its language. For example, if the RFP asks for the design and installation of a wireless communications network, you would use the same language in explaining the purpose of your proposal. This section might include segments titled Basic Requirements, Most Critical Tasks, and Most Important Secondary Problems.

The proposal section must give enough information to secure the contract but not so much detail that the services are not needed.

Proposal, Plan, Schedule In the proposal section itself, you should discuss your plan for solving the problem. In some proposals this is tricky because you want to disclose enough of your plan

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Includes second-page heading

Reporting Workplace Data

Continued

•

Dr. Leilani Arbon

Page 2

June 2, 200x

Schedule. With your approval, the following schedule has been arranged for your patient satisfaction survey: Questionnaire development and mailing August 1–6 Deadline for returning questionnaire August 24 Data tabulation and processing August 24–26 Completion of final report September 1

Uses past-tense verbs to show that work has already started on the project

•

Staffing

Promotes credentials and expertise of key people

•

Ala Moana Research is a nationally recognized, experienced research consulting firm specializing in survey investigation. I have assigned your customer satisfaction survey to Dr. Kenneth Tong, our director of research. Dr. Tong • was trained at Brigham Young University Hawaii and has successfully supervised our research program for the past nine years. Before joining Ala Moana Research, he was a marketing analyst with Johnson & Johnson.

Builds credibility by describing outstanding staff and facilities

Assisting Dr. Tong will be a team headed by Nancy Baughman, our vice president for operations. Ms. Baughman earned a bachelor’s degree in computer science and a master’s degree in marketing from the University of Hawaii, where she was elected to Mu Kappa Tau, a national marketing honor society. Within our organization she supervises our computer-aided telephone interviewing (CAT) system and manages our 30-person professional interviewing staff. Budget Professional and administrative time Questionnaire development Questionnaire mailing Data processing and tabulation Analysis of findings Preparation of final report Mailing costs 300 copies of questionnaire Postage and envelopes Total costs

Estimated Hours

Rate

3 4 12 15 5

$150/hr. 40/hr. 40/hr. 150/hr. 150/hr.

Total $

450 160 480 2,250 750

•

Itemizes costs carefully because a proposal is a contract offer

•

Makes response easy

120 270 $4,480

Authorization

Closes by repeating key qualifications and main benefits

•

We are convinced, Dr. Arbon, that our professionally designed and administered patient satisfaction survey will enhance your practice. Ala Moana Research can have specific results for you by September 1 if you sign the enclosed duplicate copy of this letter and return it to us with a retainer of $2,300 so that we may begin developing your survey immediately. The rates in this offer are in effect only until October 1. •

Provides deadline

Sincerely,

Travis Garcia, President TEG:mem Enclosure

to secure the contract without giving away so much information that your services aren’t needed. Without specifics, though, your proposal has little chance, so you must decide how much to reveal. Tell what you propose to do and how it will benefit the reader. Remember, too, that a proposal is a sales presentation. Sell your methods, product, and “deliverables”—items that will be left with the client. In this section some writers specify how the project will be managed and how its progress will be audited. Most writers also include a schedule of activities or timetable showing when events will take place.

Staffing The staffing section promotes the credentials and expertise of the project leaders and support staff.

The staffing section of a proposal describes the credentials and expertise of the project leaders. It may also identify the size and qualifications of the support staff, along with other resources such as computer facilities and special programs for analyzing

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Trade show business consumes more than $1.5 billion today. Every day hundreds of shows go on in every major city around the globe. One of the world’s largest shows is the annual Macworld Conference and Expo, where companies can sell, market, or promote products, services, peripherals, or solutions for the Mac OS platform. Designing exhibit booths for events such as Macworld has become a huge business. To compete for business, companies that design and sell trade booths submit proposals that describe the problem (how to attract visitors to their booth), plan (strategy for designing and constructing the exhibit booth), staffing, and budget.

statistics. The staffing section is a good place to endorse and promote your staff. In longer proposals some firms follow industry standards and include staff qualifications and generic résumés of key people in an appendix. Using generic rather than actual résumés ensures privacy for individuals and also protects the company in case the staff changes after a proposal has been submitted to a client.

Budget Because a proposal is a legal contract, the budget must be carefully researched.

A central item in most proposals is the budget, a list of project costs. You need to prepare this section carefully because it represents a contract; you can’t raise the price later—even if your costs increase. You can—and should—protect yourself with a deadline for acceptance. In the budget section some writers itemize hours and costs; others present a total sum only. A proposal to install a complex wireless network might, for example, contain a detailed line-by-line budget. In the proposal shown in Figure 10.1, Travis Garcia felt that he needed to justify the budget for his firm’s patient satisfaction survey, so he itemized the costs. But the budget included for a proposal to conduct a one-day diversity awareness seminar for employees might be presented as a lump sum only. Your analysis of the project will help you decide what kind of budget to prepare.

Authorization Request Informal proposals often close with a request for approval or authorization. In addition, the closing should remind the reader of key benefits and motivate action. It might also include a deadline date beyond which the offer is invalid. At some companies, such as Hewlett-Packard, authorization to proceed is not part of the proposal. Instead, it is usually discussed after the customer has received the proposal. In this way the customer and the sales account manager are able to negotiate terms before a formal agreement is drawn.

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FORMAL PROPOSALS Formal proposals respond to big projects and may contain 200 or more pages.

The primary differences between formal and informal proposals are tone, structure, format, and length.

Formal proposals differ from informal proposals not in style but in tone, structure, format, and length. Formal proposals respond to big projects and may range from 5 to 200 or more pages. To facilitate comprehension and reference, they are organized into many parts. In addition to the six basic parts just described, formal proposals contain some or all of the following additional parts: copy of the RFP, letter or memo of transmittal, abstract and/or executive summary, title page, table of contents, list of figures, and appendix. In addition, the tone used in formal proposals is often more formal than the tone used in informal proposals. Well-written proposals win contracts and business for companies and individuals. In fact, many companies depend entirely on proposals to generate their income. Companies such as Microsoft, Hewlett-Packard, and IBM employ staffs of people who do nothing but prepare proposals to compete for new business. For more information about industry standards and resources, visit the Web site of the Association of Proposal Management Professionals at http://www.apmp.org.

PREPARING TO WRITE FORMAL REPORTS Formal reports discuss the results of a process of thorough investigation and analysis.

The planning of every report begins with a statement of purpose explaining the goal, significance, and limitations of the report.

Formal reports are similar to formal proposals in length, organization, and serious tone. Instead of making an offer, however, formal reports represent the end product of thorough investigation and analysis. They present organized information to decision makers in business, industry, government, and education. Although formal reports in business are seen infrequently, they serve an important function. They provide management with vital data for decision making. In this section we will consider the entire process of writing a formal report: preparing to write, researching secondary data, generating primary data, documenting data, organizing and outlining data, illustrating data, and presenting the final report. Like proposals and informal reports, formal reports begin with a definition of the project. Probably the most difficult part of this definition is limiting the scope of the report. Every project has limitations. If you are writing a formal report, decide at the outset what constraints influence the range of your project and how you will achieve your purpose. How much time do you have for completing your report? How accessible are the data you need? How thorough should your research be? If you are writing about low morale among swing-shift employees, for example, how many of your 475 employees should you interview? Should you limit your research to company-related morale factors, or should you consider external factors over which the company has no control? In investigating adjustable-rate mortgages, should you focus on a particular group, such as first-time homeowners in a specific area, or should you consider all mortgage holders? The first step in writing a report, then, is determining the precise boundaries of the topic. Once you have defined the project and limited its scope, write a statement of purpose. Preparing a written statement of purpose is a good idea because it defines the focus of the report and provides a standard that keeps the project on target. The statement of purpose should describe the goal, significance, and limitations of the report. In writing useful statements of purpose, choose action verbs telling what you intend to do: analyze, choose, investigate, compare, justify, evaluate, explain, establish, determine, and so on. Notice how the following statement pinpoints the research and report and uses action verbs: The purpose of this report is to explore employment possibilities for entrylevel paralegal workers in the city of Phoenix. It will consider typical salaries, skills required, opportunities, and working conditions. This research is significant because of the increasing number of job openings in the paralegal field. This report will not consider legal secretarial employment, which represents a different employment focus.

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273

RESEARCHING SECONDARY DATA

Primary data come from firsthand experience and observation; secondary data, from reading.

One of the most important steps in the process of writing a report is that of gathering information (research). Because a report is only as good as its data, you’ll want to spend considerable time collecting data before you begin writing. Data fall into two broad categories, primary and secondary. Primary data result from firsthand experience and observation. Secondary data come from reading what others have experienced and observed. Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola, for example, produce primary data when they stage taste tests and record the reactions of consumers. These same sets of data become secondary after they have been published and, let’s say, a newspaper reporter uses them in an article about soft drinks. Secondary data are easier and cheaper to develop than primary data, which might involve interviewing large groups or sending out questionnaires. You’re going to learn first about secondary data because that’s where nearly every research project should begin. Often, something has already been written about your topic. Reviewing secondary sources can save time and effort and prevent you from “reinventing the wheel.” Most secondary material is available either as print resources or electronically in databases and on the Web.

Print Resources Although researchers are increasingly turning to electronic data, some data are available only in print.

Although we’re seeing a steady movement away from print to electronic data, print sources are still the most visible parts of most libraries. Because some information is available only in print, you may want to use some of the following print resources. If you are an infrequent library user, begin your research by talking with a reference librarian about your project. These librarians won’t do your research for you, but they will steer you in the right direction. And they are very accommodating. Several years ago a Wall Street Journal poll revealed that librarians are thought to be among the friendliest, most approachable people in the working world. Many libraries help you understand their computer, cataloging, and retrieval systems by providing brochures, handouts, and workshops. BOOKS

Books provide historical, in-depth data; periodicals provide limited but current coverage.

Although quickly outdated, books provide excellent historical, in-depth data on a large variety of subjects. Books can be located through print catalogs or online catalogs. Most automated systems today enable you to learn not only whether a book is in the library but also whether it is currently available. PERIODICALS Magazines, pamphlets, and journals are called periodicals because of their recurrent or periodic publication. Journals are compilations of scholarly articles. Articles in journals and other periodicals will be extremely useful to you because they are concise, limited in scope, current, and can supplement information in books. PRINT, CD-ROM, AND WEB-BASED BIBLIOGRAPHIC INDEXES The Readers’ Guide to Periodical Literature is a valuable index of general-interest magazine article titles. It includes such magazines as Time, Newsweek, The New Yorker, and U.S. News & World Report. More useful to business writers, though, will be the titles of articles appearing in business and industrial magazines and newspapers (such as Forbes, Fortune, The Economist, BusinessWeek, Barron’s, and The Wall Street Journal). For an index of these publications, consult the Business Periodicals Index. Most indexes today are available in print, CD-ROM, and Web versions for easy searching.

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Electronic Databases Most researchers today begin by looking in electronic databases.

Commercial databases offer articles, reports, and other information online.

As a writer of business reports today, you will probably begin your secondary research with electronic resources. Although some databases are still presented on CD-ROM, information is increasingly available in online databases. These online databases have become a staple of secondary research. Most writers turn to them first because they are fast, cheap, and easy to use. This means that you can conduct detailed searches without ever leaving your office, home, or dorm room. A database is a collection of information stored electronically so that it is accessible by computer and digitally searchable. Databases provide both bibliographic (titles of documents and brief abstracts) and full-text documents. Most researchers prefer full-text documents. Various databases contain a rich array of magazine, newspaper, and journal articles, as well as newsletters, business reports, company profiles, government data, reviews, and directories. Provided with this textbook is access to Infotrac, a Web-centered database that is growing rapidly. At this writing, it offers nearly 18 million magazine and journal articles from such publications as Time, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal. Web-based documents are enriched with charts, graphs, bold and italic fonts, color, and pictures. Other wellknown databases are EBSCO Business Source Premier, ABI/Inform, and LexisNexis.

The World Wide Web

The World Wide Web is a collection of hypertext pages that offer information and links on trillions of pages.

The best-known area of the Internet is the World Wide Web. Growing at a dizzying pace, the Web includes an enormous collection of specially formatted documents called Web pages located at Web sites around the world. With trillions of pages of information available on the Web, chances are that if you have a question, an answer exists online. Web offerings include online databases, magazines, newspapers, library resources, sound and video files, and many other information resources. You can expect to find such items as product and service facts, public relations material, mission statements, staff directories, press releases, current company news, government information, selected article reprints, collaborative scientific project reports, stock research, financial information, and employment information. Creators of Web pages use a special system of codes (HTML, i.e., Hypertext Markup Language) to format their offerings. The crucial feature of these hypertext pages is their use of links to other Web pages. These hyperlinks (or links) are identified by underlined words and phrases or, occasionally, images. When clicked, the links open up related Web pages. These pages immediately download to your computer screen, thus creating a vast web of resources at your fingertips.

Financial analysts, stock investors, and other business researchers require a steady stream of information, much of which is available online. For example, Bloomberg.com offers real-time financial and market data, information about interest rates and currency rates, relevant news stories, stock charts and analyses, and other information to corporations, individuals, news organizations, and financial and legal professionals around the world. Because this information is on the Web, it can be accessed 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

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The Web is unquestionably one of the greatest sources of information now available to anyone needing facts quickly and inexpensively. But finding that information can be frustrating and time-consuming. The constantly changing contents of the Web and its lack of organization frustrate researchers. Moreover, content is not always reliable. Check out the Communication Workshop at the end of this chapter to learn more about what questions to ask in assessing the quality of a Web document. The problem of gathering information is complicated by the fact that the total amount of information on the Web grows daily at the rate of over 7 million pages.4 Thus, to succeed in your search for information and answers, you need to understand how to browse the Web and use search tools. You also need to understand how to evaluate the information you find. WEB BROWSERS AND URLS Web browsers are software programs that access Web pages and their links.

Searching the Web requires a Web browser, such as Microsoft Internet Explorer, Netscape, or Firefox. Browsers are software programs that enable you to view the graphics and text of, as well as access links to, Web pages. To locate the Web page of a specific organization, you need its Web site address or URL (Uniform Resource Locator). URLs are case and space sensitive, so be sure to type the address exactly as it is printed. For most companies, the URL is http://www.xyzcompany.com. Your goal is to locate the top-level Web page of an organization’s site. On this page you’ll generally find an overview of the site contents or a link to a site map. If you can’t guess a company’s URL, you can usually find it quickly using Google (www.google.com). SEARCH TOOLS

A search tool is a service that indexes, organizes, and often rates and reviews Web pages.

The Web is packed with amazing information. Instead of visiting libraries or searching reference books when you need to find something, you can now turn to the Web for all kinds of facts. However, you’ll need a good search tool, such as Google, Yahoo!, or AskJeeves. A search tool is a service that indexes, organizes, and often rates and reviews Web pages. Some search tools rely on people to maintain a catalog of Web sites or pages. Others use software to identify key information. They all begin a search based on the keywords that you enter. The most-used search tool at this writing is Google. It has developed a cult-like following with its “uncanny ability to sort through millions of Web pages and put the sites you really want at the top of its results pages.”5 WEB SEARCH TIPS AND TECHNIQUES

You must know how to use search tools to make them most effective.

To conduct a thorough Web search for the information you need, use these tips and techniques: • Use two or three search tools. Different Internet search engines turn up different results. However, at this writing, Google consistently turns up more reliable “hits” than other search tools. • Know your search tool. When connecting to a search service for the first time, always read the description of its service, including its FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions), Help, and How to Search sections. • Understand case sensitivity. Generally use lowercase for your searches, unless you are searching for a term that is typically written in upper- and lowercase, such as a person’s name. • Use nouns as search words and as many as eight words in a query. The right keywords—and more of them—can narrow your search considerable. • Use quotation marks. When searching for a phrase, such as cost benefit analysis, most search tools will retrieve documents having all or some of the terms. This AND/OR strategy is the default of most search tools. To locate occurrences of a specific phrase, enclose it in quotation marks. • Omit articles and prepositions. Known as “stop words,” articles and prepositions do not add value to a search. Instead of request for proposal, use proposal request.

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Proofread your search words. Make sure you’re searching for the right thing by proofreading your search words carefully. For example, searching for sock market will come up with substantially different results than searching for stock market. Save the best. To keep better track of your favorite Web sites, save them as bookmarks or favorites. Keep trying. If a search produces no results, check your spelling. Try synonyms and variations on words. Try to be less specific in your search term. If your search produces too many hits, try to be more specific. Think of words that uniquely identify what you’re looking for, and use as many relevant keywords as possible. Use a variety of search tools, and repeat your search a few days later.

Weblogs (Blogs) Weblogs, or “blogs,” can be used to generate primary or secondary data.

One of the newest ways to locate secondary information on the Web is through the use of weblogs, which are more commonly referred to a “blogs.” According to Wikipedia, a blog is a “web-based publication consisting primarily of periodic articles (normally in reverse chronological order).”6 Blogs are used by business researchers, students, politicians, the media, and many others to share and gather information. Marketing firms and their clients are looking closely at blogs because blogs can produce unbiased consumer feedback faster and more cheaply than such staples of consumer research as focus groups and surveys.7 Employees and executives at companies such as Google, Sun Microsystems, IBM, and Hewlett-Packard maintain blogs. They use blogs to communicate internally with employees and externally with clients.8 A blog is basically an online diary or journal that allows visitors to leave public comments. In April 2005 writers had posted 8.7 million blogs, up from 2 million at the same time in 2004,9 and 40,000 new blogs appear every day.10 With so many people using blogs, these online journals allow you to get up-to-the-minute information straight from the source, whether it’s market data, financial information, product analysis, employment information, or technology trends. According to Jeff Weiner, Yahoo senior vice president, “Never in the history of market research has there been a tool like this.”11 Although blogs represent an amazing new information stream, be sure to evaluate all blog content using the checklist provided in the Communication Workshop at the end of this chapter.

GENERATING PRIMARY DATA Business reports often rely on primary data from firsthand experience.

Although you’ll begin a business report by probing for secondary data, you’ll probably need primary data to give a complete picture. Business reports that solve specific current problems typically rely on primary, firsthand data. If, for example, management wants to discover the cause of increased employee turnover in its Las Vegas office, it must investigate conditions in Las Vegas by collecting recent information. Providing answers to business problems often means generating primary data through surveys, interviews, observation, or experimentation. In addition to generating secondary data, blogs can also be used to generate primary data.

Surveys Surveys yield efficient and economical primary data for reports.

Surveys collect data from groups of people. When companies develop new products, for example, they often survey consumers to learn their needs. The advantages of surveys are that they gather data economically and efficiently. Surveys can be mailed to participants, or they can be administered online. Both mailed and online surveys reach big groups nearby or at great distances. Moreover, people responding to mailed and online surveys have time to consider their answers, thus improving the accuracy of the data.

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Mailed surveys, of course, have disadvantages. Most of us rank them with junk mail, so response rates may be no higher than 2 percent. Online surveys also have disadvantages, although response rates tend to be higher. Furthermore, those who do respond to either mailed or online surveys may not represent an accurate sample of the overall population, thus invalidating generalizations from the group. Let’s say, for example, that an insurance company sends out a survey questionnaire asking about provisions in a new policy. If only older people respond, the survey data cannot be used to generalize what people in other age groups might think. A final problem with surveys has to do with truthfulness. Some respondents exaggerate their incomes or distort other facts, thus causing the results to be unreliable. Nevertheless, surveys may be the best way to generate data for business and student reports.

Interviews Interviews with experts produce useful report data, especially when little has been written about a topic.

Some of the best report information, particularly on topics about which little has been written, comes from individuals. These individuals are usually experts or veterans in their fields. Consider both in-house and outside experts for business reports. Tapping these sources will call for in-person, telephone, or online interviews. To elicit the most useful data, try these techniques: • Locate an expert. Ask managers and individuals working in an area whom they consider to be most knowledgeable. Check membership lists of professional organizations, and consult articles about the topic or related topics. Search businessrelated blogs to find out who the experts are in your area of interest. You could also post an inquiry to an Internet newsgroup. An easy way to search newsgroups in a topic area is through the browse groups now indexed by the popular search tool Google (http://groups.google.com). Most people enjoy being experts or at least recommending them. • Prepare for the interview. Learn about the individual you’re interviewing, and make sure you can pronounce the interviewee’s name correctly. Research the background and terminology of the topic. Let’s say you’re interviewing a corporate communication expert about producing an in-house newsletter. You ought to be familiar with terms such as font and software such as QuarkXpress and Adobe InDesign. In addition, be prepared by making a list of questions that pinpoint your focus on the topic. Ask the interviewee if you may record the talk. • Maintain a professional attitude. Call before the interview to confirm the arrangements, and then arrive on time. Bring what you need to take notes, and dress professionally. Use your body language to convey respect. • Make your questions objective and friendly. Adopt a courteous and respectful attitude. Don’t get into a debating match with the interviewee. Remember that you’re there to listen, not to talk! Use open-ended questions (What are your predictions for the future of the telecommunications industry?), rather than yes-orno questions (Do you think we’ll see more video e-mail in the future?) to draw experts out. • Watch the time. Tell interviewees in advance how much time you expect to need for the interview. Don’t overstay your appointment. • End graciously. Conclude the interview with a general question, such as Is there anything you’d like to add? Express your appreciation, and ask permission to telephone later if you need to verify points. Send a thank-you note within a day or two after the interview.

Observation and Experimentation Some of the best report data come from firsthand observation and experimentation.

Some kinds of primary data can be obtained only through firsthand observation and experimentation. If you determine that the questions you have require observational data, then you need to plan the observations carefully. One of the most important questions to ask is what or whom you’re observing and how often those observations are necessary to provide reliable data. For example, if you want to learn more about

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Experimentation inspired today’s innovative running shoe, Nike Free. Researchers at Nike started with the observation that many top athletes train barefoot to increase performance. The research team then spent years experimenting in the Nike Sports Research lab and discovered that a bare foot lands more evenly, resulting in less stress and better alignment. The information the researchers collected, considered primary data, led to the development of the highly successful Nike Free athletic shoe.12

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an organization’s customer service phone service, you probably need to use observation techniques, along with interviews and perhaps even surveys. You’ll want to answer questions such as, How long does a typical caller wait before a customer service rep answers the call? and Is the service consistent? Observation produces rich data, but that information is especially prone to charges of subjectivity. One can interpret an observation in many ways. Thus, to make observations more objective, try to quantify them. For example, record customer telephone wait-time for 60-minute periods at different times throughout a week. This will give you a better picture than just observing for an hour on a Friday before a holiday. Experimentation produces data suggesting causes and effects. Informal experimentation might be as simple as a pretest and posttest in a college course. Did students expand their knowledge as a result of the course? More formal experimentation is undertaken by scientists and professional researchers who control variables to test their effects. Assume, for example, that the Hershey Company wants to test the hypothesis (which is a tentative assumption) that chocolate lifts people out of the doldrums. An experiment testing the hypothesis would separate depressed individuals into two groups: those who ate chocolate (the experimental group) and those who did not (the control group). What effect did chocolate have? Such experiments are not done haphazardly, however. Valid experiments require sophisticated research designs and careful attention to matching the experimental and control groups.

DOCUMENTING DATA Whether you collect data from primary or secondary sources, the data must be documented; that is, you must indicate where the data originated. Using the ideas of someone else without giving credit is called plagiarism and is unethical. Even if you paraphrase (put the information in your own words), the ideas must be documented. You’ll learn more about paraphrasing in this section.

Purposes of Documentation As a careful writer, you should properly document your data for the following reasons: • To strengthen your argument. Including good data from reputable sources will convince readers of your credibility and the logic of your reasoning.

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Report writers document their sources to strengthen an argument, protect themselves from charges of plagiarism, and help readers locate data.

•

To instruct the reader. Citing references enables readers to pursue a topic fur-

•

To protect yourself against charges of plagiarism. Acknowledging your sources

ther and make use of the information themselves. keeps you honest. Plagiarism, which is illegal and unethical, is the act of using others’ ideas without proper documentation. Plagiarism of words or ideas is a serious charge and can lead to loss of a job. Recent stories about the fates of journalists such as Jayson Blair of The New York Times illustrate that plagiarism is serious business.13 You can avoid charges of plagiarism as well as add clarity to your work by knowing what to document and by developing good research habits.

Learning What to Document Give credit when you use another’s ideas, when you borrow facts that are not common knowledge, and when you quote or paraphrase another’s words.

When you write business or academic reports, you are continually dealing with other people’s ideas. You are expected to conduct research, synthesize ideas, and build on the work of others. But you are also expected to give proper credit for borrowed material. To avoid plagiarism, you must give credit whenever you use the following:14 • Another person’s ideas, opinions, examples, or theory • Any facts, statistics, graphs, and drawings that are not common knowledge • Quotations of another person’s actual spoken or written words • Paraphrases of another person’s spoken or written words Information that is common knowledge requires no documentation. For example, the following statement requires no documentation. The Wall Street Journal is a popular business newspaper. Statements that are not common knowledge, however, must be documented. For example, Eight of the nation’s top ten fastest-growing large cities (100,000 or more population) since Census 2000 lie in the Western states of Arizona, Nevada, and California would require a citation because most people do not know this fact. Cite sources for proprietary information such as statistics organized and reported by a newspaper or magazine. Also use citations to document direct quotations and ideas that you summarize in your own words.

Developing Good Research Habits Report writers who are gathering information should record documentation data immediately after locating the information. This information can then be used in footnotes, endnotes, or in-text citations; and it can be listed in a bibliography or works-cited list at the end of the report. Here are some tips for gathering the documentation data you need from some of the most popular types of resources: • For a book, record the title, author(s), publisher, place of publication, year of publication, and pages cited. • For newspaper, magazine, and journal articles, record the publication title, article title, author(s), issue/volume number, date, and pages cited. • For online newspaper and magazine articles, record the author(s), article title, publication title, date the article was written, the exact URL, and the date you retrieved the article. • For an entire Web site, record the name of the company or organization sponsoring the site, the URL, and the date you retrieved the page. You can learn more about what types of documentation information to record during your research by studying the formal report in Figure 10.17 and by consulting Appendix C.

Paraphrasing involves putting an original passage into your own words.

Developing the Fine Art of Paraphrasing In writing business or academic reports and using the ideas of others, you will probably rely heavily on paraphrasing, which means restating an original passage in your

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own words and in your own style. To do a good job of paraphrasing, follow these steps: • Read the original material carefully to comprehend its full meaning. • Write your own version without looking at the original. • Do not repeat the grammatical structure of the original, and do not merely replace words with synonyms. • Reread the original to be sure you covered the main points but did not borrow specific language.

Knowing When and How to Quote

Use quotations only to provide background data, to cite experts, to repeat precise phrasing, or to duplicate exact wording before criticizing.

On occasion you will want to use the exact words of a source. Anytime you use the exact words from a source, you must enclose the words in quotation marks. Be careful when doing this that you don’t change the wording of the quoted material in any way. Also beware of overusing quotations. Documents that contain pages of splicedtogether quotations suggest that writers have few ideas of their own. Wise writers and speakers use direct quotations for three purposes only: • To provide objective background data and establish the severity of a problem as seen by experts • To repeat identical phrasing because of its precision, clarity, or aptness • To duplicate exact wording before criticizing When you must use an exact quotation, try to summarize and introduce it in your own words. Readers want to know the gist of a quotation before they tackle it. For example, to introduce a quotation discussing the shrinking staffs of large companies, you could precede it with your words: In predicting employment trends, Charles Waller believes the corporation of the future will depend on a small core of full-time employees. To introduce quotations or paraphrases, use wording such as the following: According to Waller, . . . . Waller argues that . . . . In his recent study, Waller reported . . . . Use quotation marks to enclose exact quotations, as shown in the following: “The current image,” says Charles Waller, “of a big glass-and-steel corporate headquarters on landscaped grounds directing a worldwide army of tens of thousands of employees may soon be a thing of the past.”

Using Citation Formats Guidelines for MLA and APA citation formats may be found in Appendix C; guidelines for electronic citations are at the Guffey student Web site.

You can direct readers to your sources with parenthetical notes inserted into the text and with bibliographies or works-cited lists. The most common citation formats are those presented by the Modern Language Association (MLA) and the American Psychological Association (APA). Learn more about how to use these formats in Appendix C. For the most up-do-date citation formats for electronic references, check the Guffey student Web site. You will find model citation formats for online magazine, newspaper, and journal articles, as well as for Web references.

ORGANIZING AND OUTLINING DATA Once you’ve collected the data for a report and recorded that information on notes or printouts, you’re ready to organize it into a coherent plan of presentation. First, you should decide on an organizational strategy, and then, following your plan, you’ll want to outline the report. Poorly organized reports lead to frustration; therefore, it’s important to organize your report carefully so that readers will understand, remember, or be persuaded.

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Organizational Strategies The readability and effectiveness of a report are greatly enhanced by skillful organization of the information presented. As you begin the process of organization, ask yourself two important questions: (1) Where should I place the conclusions/ recommendations? and (2) How should I organize the findings? WHERE TO PLACE THE CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS In the direct strategy, conclusions and recommendations come first; in the indirect strategy, they are last.

As you recall from earlier instruction, the direct strategy presents main ideas first. In formal reports that would mean beginning with your conclusions and recommendations. For example, if you were studying five possible locations for a proposed shopping center, you would begin with the recommendation of the best site. Use this strategy when the reader is supportive and knowledgeable. However, if the reader is not supportive or needs to be informed, the indirect strategy may be better. This strategy involves presenting facts and discussion first, followed by conclusions and recommendations. Since formal reports often seek to educate the reader, this order of presentation is often most effective. Following this sequence, a study of possible locations for a shopping center would begin with data regarding all proposed sites followed by analysis of the information and conclusions drawn from that analysis. HOW TO ORGANIZE THE FINDINGS

Organize report findings chronologically, geographically, topically, or by one of the methods shown in Figure 10.2.

After collecting your facts, you need a coherent plan for presenting them. We describe here three principal organizational patterns: chronological, geographical, and topical. You will find these and other patterns summarized in Figure 10.2. The pattern you choose depends on the material collected and the purpose of your report. • Chronological sequence. Information sequenced along a time frame is arranged chronologically. This plan is effective for presenting historical data or for describing a procedure. Agendas, minutes of meetings, progress reports, and procedures are usually organized by time. A description of the development of a multinational company, for example, would be chronological. A report explaining how to obtain federal funding for a project might be organized chronologically. Often topics are arranged in a past-to-present or present-to-past sequence. • Geographical or spatial arrangement. Information arranged geographically or spatially is organized by physical location. For instance, a report analyzing a company’s national sales might be divided into sections representing different geographical areas such as the East, South, Midwest, West, and Northwest. • Topical or functional arrangement. Some subjects lend themselves to arrangement by topic or function. A report analyzing changes in the management hierarchy of an organization might be arranged in this manner. First, the report would consider the duties of the CEO followed by the functions of the general manager, business manager, marketing manager, and so forth.

Outlines and Headings Most writers agree that the clearest way to show the organization of a report topic is by recording its divisions in an outline. Although the outline is not part of the final report, it is a valuable tool of the writer. It reveals at a glance the overall organization of the report. As you learned in Chapter 3, outlining involves dividing a topic into major sections and supporting those with details. Figure 10.3 shows an abbreviated outline of a report about forms of business ownership. Rarely is a real outline so perfectly balanced; some sections are usually longer than others. Remember, though, not to put a single topic under a major component. If you have only one subpoint, integrate it with the main item above it or reorganize. Use details, illustrations, and evidence to support subpoints.

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Organizational Patterns for Report Findings

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Pattern

Development

Use

Chronology

Arrange information in a time sequence to show history or development of topic.

Useful in showing time relationships, such as 5-year profit figures or a series or events leading to a problem

Geography/ Space

Organize information by regions or areas.

Appropriate for topics that are easily divided into locations, such as East Coast, West Coast, etc.

Topic/ Function

Arrange by topics or functions.

Works well for topics with established categories, such as a report about categories of company expenses

Compare/ Contrast

Present problem and show alternative solutions. Use consistent criteria. Show how the solutions are similar and different.

Best used for “before and after” scenarios or for problems with clear alternatives

Journalism Pattern

Arrange information in paragraphs devoted to who, what, when, where, why, and how. May conclude with recommendations.

Useful with audiences that need to be educated or persuaded

Value/Size

Start with the most valuable, biggest, or most important item. Discuss other items in descending order.

Useful for classifying information in, for example, a realtor’s report on home values

Importance

Arrange from most important to least importance or build from least to most important.

Appropriate when persuading the audience to take a specific action or change a belief

Simple/ Complex

Begin with simple concept; proceed to more complex idea.

Useful for technical or abstract topics

Best Case/ Worst Case

Describe the best and possibly the worst possible outcomes.

Useful when dramatic effect is needed to achieve results; helpful when audience is uninterested or uninformed

Convention

Organize the report using a prescribed plan that all readers understand.

Useful for many operational and recurring reports such as weekly sales reports

FIGURE 10.3

Outline Format

Forms of Business Ownership

I. Sole proprietorship (first main topic) A. Advantages of sole proprietorship (first subdivision of Topic I) 1. Minimal capital requirements (first subdivision of Topic A) 2. Control by owner (second subdivision of Topic A) B. Disadvantages of sole proprietorship (second subdivision of Topic I) 1. Unlimited liability (first subdivision of Topic B) 2. Limited management talent (second subdivision of Topic B)

II. Partnership (second main topic) A. Advantages of partnership (first subdivision of Topic II) 1. Access to capital (first subdivision of Topic A) 2. Management talent (second subdivision of Topic A) 3. Ease of formation (third subdivision of Topic A) B. Disadvantages of partnership (second subdivision of Topic II) 1. Unlimited liability (first subdivision of Topic B) 2. Personality conflicts (second subdivision of Topic B)

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The main points used to outline a report often become the main headings of the written report. In Chapter 9 you studied tips for writing talking and functional headings. Formatting those headings depends on what level they represent. Major headings, as you can see in Figure 10.4, are centered and typed in bold font. Second-level headings start at the left margin, and third-level headings are indented and become part of a paragraph.

ILLUSTRATING DATA

Effective graphics clarify numerical data and simplify complex ideas.

FIGURE 10.4

After collecting information and interpreting it, you need to consider how best to present it to your audience. If your report contains complex data and numbers, you may want to consider using graphics such as tables and charts. Appropriate graphics clarify data, create visual interest, and make numerical data meaningful. By simplifying complex ideas and emphasizing key data, well-constructed graphics make key information more understandable and easier to remember. In contrast, readers tend to be bored and confused by text paragraphs packed with complex data and numbers. The same information summarized in a table or chart becomes clear.

Levels of Headings in Reports ←⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

↑

2-inch top margin

REPORT, CHAPTER, AND PART TITLES

•

←

↑ 2 blank lines

The title of a report, chapter heading, or major part (such as CONTENTS or NOTES) should be centered in all caps. If the title requires more than one line, arrange it in an inverted triangle with the longest lines at the top. Begin the text a triple space (two blank lines) below the title, as shown here.

Places major headings in the center

←

↑ 2 blank lines

•

First-Level Subheading

•

↑ 1 blank line

←

Capitalizes initial letters of main words

Headings indicating the first level of division are centered and bolded. Capitalize the first letter of each main word. Whether a report is single-spaced or doublespaced, most typists triple-space (leaving two blank lines) before and double-space (leaving one blank line) after a first-level subheading.

←

↑ 1 blank line

Every level of heading should be followed by some text. For example, we could not jump from “First-Level Subheading,” shown above, to “Second-Level Subheading,” shown below, without some discussion between. Good writers strive to develop coherency and fluency by ending most sections with a lead-in that introduces the next section. The lead-in consists of a sentence or two announcing the next topic.

Starts at left margin

• Second-Level Subheading

←⎯

↑

2 blank lines

Headings that divide topics introduced by first-level subheadings are bolded and begin at the left margin. Use a triple space above and a double space after a second-level subheading. If a report has only one level of heading, use either first- or second-level subheading style. Always be sure to divide topics into two or more subheadings. If you have only one subheading, eliminate it and absorb the discussion under the previous major heading. Try to make all headings within a level grammatically equal. For example, all second-level headings might use verb forms (Preparing, Organizing, and Composing ) or noun forms (Preparation, Organization, and Composition).

• Third-level subheading.

↑ 1 blank line

←

Makes heading part of paragraph

Because it is part of the paragraph that follows, a third-level subheading is also called a “paragraph subheading.” Capitalize only the first word and proper nouns in the subheading. Bold the subheading and end it with a period. Begin typing the paragraph text immediately following the period, as shown here. Double-space before a paragraph subheading.

•

Does not indent paragraphs because report is single-spaced

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Because data can be shown in many different forms (for example, in a chart, table, or graph), you need to recognize how to match the appropriate graphic with your objective. In addition, you need to know how to incorporate graphics into your reports.

Matching Graphics and Objectives In developing the best graphics, you should first decide what data you want to highlight. Chances are you will have many points you would like to show in a table or chart. But which graphics are most appropriate to your objectives? Tables? Bar charts? Pie charts? Line charts? Surface charts? Flowcharts? Organization charts? Pictures? Figure 10.5 summarizes appropriate uses for each type of graphic. Notice that tables are appropriate when you must report exact figures and values. However, if you want to compare one item with others or demonstrate changes in quantitative data over time, bar and line charts are better. To show the parts of a whole and the proportions of all the parts, you might draw a pie chart. If you must show a process such as how a product is made, a flow chart works well. An organization chart defines elements in a hierarchy such as the line of command in business management. Photographs, maps, and illustrations are most useful to create authenticity, to spotlight a location, and to show an item in use.

FIGURE 10.5

Matching Graphics to Objectives Objective

Graphic

Table

Selecting an appropriate graphic form depends on the purpose that it serves.

Agree 2.2 _____ 3.7 _____ 4.8 _____ 1.25 _____

Undecided 5.48 _____ 6.2 _____ 22.4 _____ 3.4 _____

Disagree _____ 3.3 _____ 4.75 _____ 6.58 _____ 2.44

To show exact figures and values

Bar Chart

To compare one item with others

Line Chart

To demonstrate changes in quantitative data over time

Pie Chart

To visualize a whole unit and the proportions of its components

Flowchart

To display a process or procedure

Organization Chart

To define a hierarchy of elements

Photograph, Map, Illustration

To create authenticity, to spotlight a location, and to show an item in use

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FIGURE 10.6

Table Summarizing Precise Data Figure 1 MPM ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY Income by Division (in millions of dollars)

2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 (projected)

Theme Parks

Motion Pictures

DVDs and Videos

Total

$15.8 18.1 23.8 32.2 35.1

$39.3 17.5 21.1 22.0 21.0

$11.2 15.3 22.7 24.3 26.1

$66.3 50.9 67.6 78.5

82.2

Source: Industry Profiles (New York: DataPro, 2006), 225.

Tables Tables permit the systematic presentation of large amounts of data, whereas charts enhance visual comparisons.

Probably the most frequently used visual aid in reports is the table. Because a table presents quantitative or verbal information in systematic columns and rows, it can clarify large quantities of data in small spaces. The disadvantage is that tables do not readily display trends. In making tables, you will be constructing rows and columns. A row is a list of items presented straight across a table. Each row must have a row heading. In Figure 10.6, the row headings are years. Columns are lists of items presented vertically. Here are specific tips for making good tables: • Provide a descriptive title at the top of the table. • Arrange items in a logical order (alphabetical, chronological, geographical, highest to lowest), depending on what you want to emphasize. • Provide clear headings for the rows and columns. • Identify the units in which figures are given (percentages, dollars, units per worker hour, and so forth) in the table title, in the column or row head, with the first item in a column, or in a note at the bottom. • Use N/A (not available) for missing data. • Make long tables easier to read by shading alternate lines or by leaving a blank line after groups of five. • Place tables as close as possible to the place where they are mentioned in the text.

Bar Charts Bar charts enable readers to compare related items, see changes over time, and understand how parts relate to a whole.

Although they lack the precision of tables, bar charts enable you to make emphatic visual comparisons by using horizontal or vertical bars of varying lengths. Bar charts can be used to compare related items, illustrate changes in data over time, and show segments as part of a whole. Figures 10.7 through 10.10 show vertical, horizontal, grouped, and segmented bar charts that highlight some of the data shown in the MPM Entertainment Company table (Figure 10.6). Note how the varied bar charts present information in different ways. Many suggestions for tables also hold true for bar charts. Here are a few additional tips: • Keep the length and width of each bar and segment proportional. • Include a total figure in the middle of a bar or at its end if the figure helps the reader and does not clutter the chart. • Start dollar or percentage amounts at zero. • Avoid showing too much information, which produces clutter and confusion. • Place each bar chart as close as possible to the place where it is mentioned in the text.

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Vertical Bar Chart

FIGURE 10.7

Horizontal Bar Chart

FIGURE 10.8

Figure 1

Figure 2

2006 MPM INCOME BY DIVISION

TOTAL MPM INCOME, 2003 TO 2007

40 2003

$66.3

Millions of Dollars

$32.2 30

2004

50.9

24.3

22.0

2005

67.6

2006

78.5

10 2007*

82.2

0 Theme Parks

Motion Pictures

DVDs & Videos

Grouped Bar Chart

Segmented 100% Bar Chart

FIGURE 10.10

Figure 4 PERCENTAGE OF TOTAL INCOME BY DIVISION 2003, 2005, 2007 100

2003 2005 2007

39.3

24%

35.1

Theme Parks 35%

43%

26.1

23.8

22.7

21.1 21.0

Motion Pictures DVDs & Videos

59%

31%

25%

$15.8

0 Theme Parks

Motion Pictures

2007

25 2005

2003

2007

2005

2003

2007

2005

11.2 2003

Millions of Dollars

100

Figure 3

MPM INCOME BY DIVISION 2003, 2005, AND 2007 50

40 60 Millions of Dollars

*Projected Source: Industry Profiles.

Source: Industry Profiles (New York: DataPro, 2006), 225.

FIGURE 10.9

DVDs & Videos

Source: Industry Profiles.

34%

32%

2005

2007*

17% 0

2003

*Projected Source: Industry Profiles.

Line Charts Line charts illustrate trends and changes in data over time.

The major advantage of line charts is that they show changes over time, thus indicating trends. The vertical axis is typically the dependent variable (such as dollars), and the horizontal axis is the independent one (such as years). Figures 10.11 through 10.13 show line charts that reflect income trends for the three divisions of MPM. Notice that line charts do not provide precise data, such as the 2006 MPM DVD and video income. Instead, they give an overview or impression of the data. Experienced report writers use tables to list exact data; they use line charts or bar charts to spotlight important points or trends. Simple line charts (Figure 10.11) show just one variable. Multiple line charts compare items, such as two or more data sets, using the same variable (Figure 10.12). Segmented line charts (Figure 10.13), also called surface charts, illustrate how the components of a whole change over time. Here are tips for preparing line charts: • Begin with a grid divided into squares. • Arrange the time component (usually years) horizontally across the bottom; arrange values for the other variable vertically. • Draw small dots at the intersections to indicate each value at a given year. • Connect the dots and add color if desired.

Chapter 10

Simple Line Chart

FIGURE 10.11

Figure 5

Figure 6

MOTION PICTURE REVENUES 2002 TO 2007

COMPARISON OF DIVISION REVENUES 2002 TO 2007

30 20

Theme Parks 30

DVDs & Videos

Motion Pictures

2002

2003

2004

2005

2006

2007*

Segmented Line (Surface) Chart

FIGURE 10.13

2002

2003

2004

2005

2006

2007*

*Projected Source: Industry Profiles.

FIGURE 10.14

Pie Chart Figure 8

Figure 7

2006 MPM INCOME BY DIVISION

COMPARISION OF DIVISION REVENUES 2002 TO 2007

Theme Parks

100 Theme Parks Millions of Dollars

Multiple Line Chart

FIGURE 10.12

Millions of Dollars

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Motion Pictures

DVDs & Videos

Motion Pictures DVDs & Videos

DVDs & Videos 31%

Theme Parks 41%

2002

2003

2004

2005

2006

Motion Pictures 28%

2007*

Year *Projected Source: Industry Profiles.

Source: Industry Profiles.

•

To prepare a segmented (surface) chart, plot the first value (say, DVD and video income) across the bottom; add the next item (say, motion picture income) to the first figures for every increment; for the third item (say, theme park income) add its value to the total of the first two items. The top line indicates the total of the three values. Place each line chart as close as possible to the place where it is mentioned in the text.

Pie Charts Pie charts are most useful in showing the proportion of parts to a whole.

Pie, or circle, charts enable readers to see a whole and the proportion of its components, or wedges. Although less flexible than bar or line charts, pie charts are useful in showing percentages, as Figure 10.14 illustrates. Notice that a wedge can be “exploded” or popped out for special emphasis, as seen in Figure 10.14. For the most effective pie charts, follow these suggestions: • Begin at the 12 o’clock position, drawing the largest wedge first. (Computer software programs don’t always observe this advice, but if you’re drawing your own charts, you can.)

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Include, if possible, the actual percentage or absolute value for each wedge. Use four to eight segments for best results; if necessary, group small portions into one wedge called “Other.” Distinguish wedges with color, shading, or cross-hatching. Keep all labels horizontal. Place each pie chart as close as possible to the place where it is mentioned in the text.

Flowcharts Flowcharts use standard symbols to illustrate a process or procedure.

Procedures are simplified and clarified by diagramming them in a flowchart, as shown in Figure 10.15. Whether you need to describe the procedure for handling a customer’s purchase order or outline steps in solving a problem, flowcharts help the reader visualize the process. Traditional flowcharts use the following symbols: • Ovals: to designate the beginning and end of a process • Diamonds: to denote decision points • Rectangles: to represent major activities or steps Software programs such as SmartDraw!, EasyDraw, and ConceptDraw can be used to create professional-quality flowcharts.

Organization Charts Many large organizations are so complex that they need charts to show the chain of command, from the boss down to the line managers and employees. Organization charts like the one in Figure 10.16 provide such information as who reports to whom, how many subordinates work for each manager (the span of control), and what channels of official communication exist. These charts may illustrate a company’s structure, for example, by function, customer, or product. They may also be organized by the work being performed in each job or by the hierarchy of decision making.

Photographs, Maps, and Illustrations Some business reports include photographs, maps, illustrations, and other graphics to serve specific purposes. Photos, for example, add authenticity and provide a FIGURE 10.15

Flowchart FLOW OF CUSTOMER ORDER THROUGH XYZ COMPANY Company receives order

No Prepaid ?

Credit Department evaluates

Credit granted ?

Yes Customer Service checks inventory

Yes

Legend

Operation Decision

Goods available ?

Goods restocked

Sales Manager responds

Shipping sends order

Customer

End Yes Accounting prepares invoice

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FIGURE 10.16

Organization Chart Chief Executive Officer

Vice President Manufacturing

Vice President Marketing

Vice President Human Resources

Vice President Finance

Plant Manager

Sales Manager

Personnel Manager

Accounting Manager

Domestic Sales Manager

Training Supervisor

Maintenance Supervisor

International Sales Manager

Production Supervisor

Senior Accountant

Staff Accountant

Cost Accountant

visual record. An environmental engineer may use photos to document hazardous waste sites. Maps enable report writers to depict activities or concentrations geographically, such as dots indicating sales reps in states across the country. Illustrations and diagrams are useful in indicating how an object looks or operates. A drawing showing the parts of a printer with labels describing their functions, for example, is more instructive than a photograph or verbal description. With today’s computer technology, photographs, maps, illustrations, and other graphics can be scanned and inserted directly into business reports.

Incorporating Graphics in Reports Used appropriately, graphics make reports more interesting and easier to understand. In putting graphics into your reports, follow these suggestions for best effects: • Evaluate the audience. Consider the reader, the content, your schedule, and your budget. • Use restraint. Don’t overuse color or decorations. Too much color can be distracting and confusing. • Be accurate and ethical. Double-check all graphics for accuracy of figures and calculations. Be certain that your visuals aren’t misleading—either accidentally or intentionally. Also be sure to cite sources when you use someone else’s facts. • Introduce a graph meaningfully. Refer to every graphic in the text, and place the graphic close to the point where it is mentioned. Most important, though, help the reader understand the significance of the graphic. • Choose an appropriate caption or heading style. Like reports, graphics may use functional or talking heads. These were discussed in Chapter 9.

Computer software programs enable you to produce top-quality graphics quickly and cheaply.

Using Your Computer to Produce Charts Designing effective, accurate bar charts, pie charts, figures, and other graphics is easy with today’s software. Spreadsheet programs such as Excel, as well as

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presentation graphics programs such as PowerPoint, allow even nontechnical people to design high-quality graphics. These graphics can be printed directly on paper for written reports or used for transparency masters and slides for oral presentations. The benefits of preparing visual aids on a computer are near-professional quality, shorter preparation time, and substantial cost savings.

PRESENTING THE FINAL REPORT Long reports are generally organized into three major divisions: (1) prefatory parts, (2) body, and (3) supplementary parts. Following is a description of the order and content of each part. Refer to the model formal report in Figure 10.17 for illustrations of most of these parts.

Prefatory Parts (Preceding the Body of Report) TITLE PAGE A report title page, as illustrated in Figure 10.17, begins with the name of the report typed in uppercase letters (no underscore and no quotation marks). Next comes Prepared for (or Submitted to) and the name, title, and organization of the individual receiving the report. Lower on the page is Prepared by (or Submitted by) and the author’s name plus any necessary identification. The last item on the title page is the date of submission. All items after the title appear in a combination of upper- and lowercase letters. The information on the title page should be evenly spaced and balanced on the page for a professional look. LETTER OR MEMO OF TRANSMITTAL A letter or memo of transmittal presents an overview of the report, suggests how to read it, describes limitations, acknowledges assistance, and expresses appreciation.

Generally written on organization letterhead stationery, a letter or memo of transmittal introduces a formal report. You will recall that letters are sent to outsiders and memos to insiders. A transmittal letter or memo follows the direct pattern and is usually less formal than the report itself. For example, the letter or memo may use contractions and first-person pronouns such as I and we. The transmittal letter or memo typically (1) announces the topic of the report and tells how it was authorized; (2) briefly describes the project; (3) highlights the report’s findings, conclusions, and recommendations, if the reader is expected to be supportive; and (4) closes with appreciation for the assignment, instructions for the reader’s follow-up actions, acknowledgment of help from others, or offers of assistance in answering questions. If a report is going to different readers, a special transmittal letter or memo should be prepared for each, anticipating what each reader needs to know in using the report. TABLE OF CONTENTS The table of contents shows the headings in a report and their page numbers. It gives an overview of the report topics and helps readers locate them. You should wait to prepare the table of contents until after you’ve completed the report. For short reports include all headings. For longer reports you might want to list only first- and second-level headings. Leaders (spaced or unspaced dots) help guide the eye from the heading to the page number. Items may be indented in outline form or typed flush with the left margin. LIST OF FIGURES For reports with several figures or illustrations, you may wish to include a list of figures to help readers locate them. This list may appear on the same page as the table of contents, space permitting. For each figure or illustration, include a title and page number.

Chapter 10

FIGURE 10.17

Title Page

Includes report title in all caps with longer line above shorter line

Highlights name of report recipient

Identifies report writer

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Model Format Report

a ı ı ı 2 inches ı ı ı ı b

ECONOMIC IMPACT OF COCONINO INDUSTRIAL PARK ON THE CITY OF FLAGSTAFF

Prepared for The Flagstaff City Council Flagstaff, Arizona

Prepared by Sylvia Hernandez Senior Research Consultant Del Rio Industrial Consultants

January 10, 200x

Omits page number

a ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı ı b

Divide blank lines equally to separate the sections

a ı ı ı ı ı 2 inches ı ı ı ı ı b

The title page is usually arranged in four evenly balanced areas. If the report is to be bound on the left, move the left margin and center point 1/4 inch to the right. Notice that no page number appears on the title page, although it is counted as page i. In designing the title page, be careful to avoid anything unprofessional—such as too many type fonts, italics, oversized print, and inappropriate graphics. Keep the title page simple and professional. This model report uses MLA documentation style. However, it is not double-spaced, the recommended format for research papers using MLA style. Instead, this model is single-spaced, which saves space and is more appropriate for business reports.

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Letter of Transmittal

DEL RIO INDUSTRIAL CONSULTANTS 110 West Route 66 Flagstaff, Arizona 86001

www.delrio.com (928) 774-1101

January 12, 200x City Council City of Flagstaff 211 West Aspen Avenue Flagstaff, AZ 86001 Announces report and identifies authorization

Gives broad overview of report purposes

Dear Council Members: The attached report, requested by the Flagstaff City Council in a letter to Goldman-Lyon & Associates dated October 20, describes the economic impact of Coconino Industrial Park on the city of Flagstaff. We are confident you will find the results of this study useful in evaluating future development of industrial parks within the city limits. This study was designed to examine economic impact in three areas: • Current and projected tax and other revenues accruing to the city from Coconino Industrial Park • Current and projected employment generated by the park • Indirect effects on local employment, income, and economic growth

Describes primary and secondary research

Offers to discuss report; expresses appreciation

Primary research consisted of interviews with 15 Coconino Industrial Park tenants and managers, in addition to a 2006 survey of over 5,000 CIP employees. Secondary research sources included the Annual Budget of the City of Flagstaff, county and state tax records, government publications, periodicals, books, and online resources. Results of this research, discussed more fully in this report, indicate that Coconino Industrial Park exerts a significant beneficial influence on the Flagstaff metropolitan economy. We would be pleased to discuss this report and its conclusions with you at your request. My firm and I thank you for your confidence in selecting our company to prepare this comprehensive report. Sincerely,

Sylvia Hernandez Senior Research Consultant

Uses Roman numerals for prefatory pages

SMH:mef Attachment ii

A letter or memo of transmittal announces the report topic and explains who authorized it. It briefly describes the project and previews the conclusions, if the reader is supportive. Such messages generally close by expressing appreciation for the assignment, suggesting follow-up actions, acknowledging the help of others, or offering to answer questions. The margins for the transmittal should be the same as for the report, about 1 to 11/4 inches on all sides. The letter should be left-justified. A page number is optional.

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FIGURE 10.17

Table of Contents and List of Figures

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Uses leaders to guide eye from heading to page number

LETTER OF TRANSMITTAL.......................................................................... ii EXECUTIVE SUMMARY ............................................................................... iv PROBLEM ................................................................................................... 1 BACKGROUND............................................................................................. 1

Indents secondary headings to show levels of outline

DISCUSSION OF FINDINGS ........................................................................... 2 Revenues .............................................................................................. Sales and Use Revenues .................................................................. Other Revenues ............................................................................... Projections .......................................................................................

2 3 3 3

Employment .......................................................................................... Distribution .................................................................................... Wages .............................................................................................. Projections .......................................................................................

3 3 4 5

CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS .................................................... 5 WORKS CITED ........................................................................................... 6

LIST OF FIGURES

Includes tables and figures in one list for simplified numbering

Figure 1 Revenues Received by the City of Flagstaff from Coconino Industrial Park.................................................................. 2 2 Employment Distribution of Industry Groups ................................... 4 3 Average Annual Wages by Industry Groups ..................................... 4

iii

Because the table of contents and the list of figures for this report are small, they are combined on one page. Notice that the titles of major report parts are in all caps, while other headings are a combination of upper- and lowercase letters. This duplicates the style within the report. Advanced word processing capabilities enable you to generate a contents page automatically, including leaders and accurate page numbering—no matter how many times you revise. Notice that the page numbers are right-justified.

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Executive Summary

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

Opens directly with major research findings

Identifies data sources

Summarizes organization of report

The city of Flagstaff can benefit from the development of industrial parks like the Coconino Industrial Park. Both direct and indirect economic benefits result, as shown by this in-depth study conducted by Del Rio Industrial Consultants. The study was authorized by the Flagstaff City Council when Goldman-Lyon & Associates sought the City Council’s approval for the proposed construction of a G-L industrial park. The City Council requested evidence demonstrating that an existing development could actually benefit the city. Our conclusion that the city of Flagstaff benefits from industrial parks is based on data supplied by a survey of 5,000 Coconino Industrial Park employees, personal interviews with managers and tenants of CIP, city and state documents, and professional literature. Analysis of the data revealed benefits in three areas: • Revenues. The city of Flagstaff earned nearly $2 million in tax and other revenues from the Coconino Industrial Park in 2006. By 2012 this income is expected to reach $3.4 million (in constant 2006 dollars). • Employment. In 2006, CIP businesses employed a total of 7,035 workers, who earned an average wage of $56,579. By 2012, CIP businesses are expected to employ directly nearly 15,000 employees who will earn salaries totaling over $998 million. • Indirect benefits. Because of the multiplier effect, by 2012 Coconino Industrial Park will directly and indirectly generate a total of 38,362 jobs in the Flagstaff metropolitan area.

Condenses recommendations

On the basis of these findings, it is recommended that development of additional industrial parks be encouraged to stimulate local economic growth.

For readers who want a quick overview of the report, the executive summary presents its most important elements. Executive summaries focus on the information the reader requires for making a decision related to the issues discussed in the report. The summary may include some or all of the following elements: purpose, scope, research methods, findings, conclusions, and recommendations. Its length depends on the report it summarizes. A 100-page report might require a 10-page summary. Shorter reports may contain 1-page summaries, as shown here. Unlike letters of transmittal (which may contain personal pronouns and references to the writer), the executive summary of a long report is formal and impersonal. It uses the same margins as the body of the report. See Chapter 9 for additional discussion of executive summaries.

Chapter 10

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FIGURE 10.17

Page 1

PROBLEM Uses a bulleted list for clarity and ease of reading Lists three problem questions

Describes authorization for report and background of study

This study was designed to analyze the direct and indirect economic impact of Coconino Industrial Park on the city of Flagstaff. Specifically, the study seeks answers to these questions: • What current tax and other revenues result directly from this park? What tax and other revenues may be expected in the future? • How many and what kinds of jobs are directly attributable to the park? What is the employment picture for the future? • What indirect effects has Coconino Industrial Park had on local employment, incomes, and economic growth?

BACKGROUND The development firm of Goldman-Lyon & Associates commissioned this study of Coconino Industrial Park at the request of the Flagstaff City Council. Before authorizing the development of a proposed Goldman-Lyon industrial park, the City Council requested a study examining the economic effects of an existing park. Members of the City Council wanted to determine to what extent industrial parks benefit the local community, and they chose Coconino Industrial Park as an example. For those who are unfamiliar with it, Coconino Industrial Park is a 400-acre industrial park located in the city of Flagstaff about 4 miles from the center of the city. Most of the area lies within a specially designated area known as Redevelopment Project No. 2, which is under the jurisdiction of the Flagstaff Redevelopment Agency. Planning for the park began in 1994; construction started in 1996. The original goal for Coconino Industrial Park was development for light industrial users. Land in this area was zoned for uses such as warehousing, research and development, and distribution. Like other communities, Flagstaff was eager to attract light industrial users because such businesses tend to employ a highly educated workforce, are quieter, and do not pollute the environment. The city of Flagstaff recognized the need for light industrial users and widened an adjacent highway to accommodate trucks and facilitate travel by workers and customers coming from Flagstaff.

The first page of a formal report generally contains the title printed 2 inches from the top edge. Titles for major parts of a report are centered in all caps. In this model document we show functional heads, such as PROBLEM, BACKGROUND, FINDINGS, and CONCLUSIONS. However, most business reports would use talking heads or a combination such as FINDINGS REVEAL REVENUE AND EMPLOYMENT BENEFITS. First-level subheadings (such as Revenues on page 2) are printed with bold upper- and lowercase letters. Second-level subheadings (such as Distribution on page 3) begin at the side, are bolded, and are written in upper- and lowercase letters. See Figure 10.4 for an illustration of heading formats.

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Page 2

The park now contains 14 building complexes with over 1.25 million square feet of completed building space. The majority of the buildings are used for office, research and development, marketing and distribution, or manufacturing uses. Approximately 50 acres of the original area are yet to be developed. Uses functional heads

Provides specifics for data sources Previews organization of report

Data for this report came from a 2006 survey of over 5,000 Coconino Industrial Park employees; interviews with 15 CIP tenants and managers; the Annual Budget of the City of Flagstaff; county and state tax records; current books, articles, journals; and online resources. Projections for future revenues resulted from analysis of past trends and “Estimates of Revenues for Debt Service Coverage, Redevelopment Project Area 2” (Miller 79).

DISCUSSION OF FINDINGS The results of this research indicate that major direct and indirect benefits have accrued to the city of Flagstaff and surrounding metropolitan areas as a result of the development of Coconino Industrial Park. The research findings presented here fall into three categories: (a) revenues, (b) employment, and (c) indirect effects. Revenues Coconino Industrial Park contributes a variety of tax and other revenues to the city of Flagstaff, as summarized in Figure 1. Current revenues are shown, along with projections to the year 2012. At a time when the economy is unstable, revenues from an industrial park such as Coconino can become a reliable income stream for the city of Flagstaff.

Places figure close to textual reference

Figure 1 REVENUES RECEIVED BY THE CITY OF FLAGSTAFF FROM COCONINO INDUSTRIAL PARK Current Revenues and Projections to 2012

Sales and use taxes Revenues from licenses Franchise taxes State gas tax receipts Licenses and permits Other revenues Total

2006 $904,140 426,265 175,518 83,768 78,331 94,039 $1,762,061

2012 $1,335,390 516,396 229,424 112,134 112,831 141,987 $2,448,162

Source: Arizona State Board of Equalization Bulletin. Phoenix: State Printing Office, 2006, 103. 2

Notice that this formal report is single-spaced. Many businesses prefer this space-saving format. However, some organizations prefer double-spacing, especially for preliminary drafts. If you single-space, do not indent paragraphs. If you double-space, do indent the paragraphs. Page numbers may be centered 1 inch from the bottom of the page or placed 1 inch from the upper right corner at the margin. Your word processor can insert page numbers automatically. Strive to leave a minimum of 1 inch for top, bottom, and side margins. References follow the parenthetical citation style (or in-text citation style) of the Modern Language Association (MLA). Notice that the author’s name and a page reference appear in parentheses. The complete bibliographic entry for any in-text citation appears at the end of report in the works-cited section.

Chapter 10

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FIGURE 10.17

Page 3

297

Sales and Use Revenues

Continues interpreting figures in table

As shown in Figure 1, the city’s largest source of revenues from CIP is the sales and use tax. Revenues from this source totaled $904,140 in 2006, according to figures provided by the Arizona State Board of Equalization (28). Sales and use taxes accounted for more than half of the park’s total contribution to the city of $1,762,061. Other Revenues Other major sources of city revenues from CIP in 2006 include alcohol licenses, motor vehicle in lieu fees, trailer coach licenses ($426,265), franchise taxes ($175,518), and state gas tax receipts ($83,768). Although not shown in Figure 1, other revenues may be expected from the development of recently acquired property. The U.S. Economic Development Administration has approved a grant worth $975,000 to assist in expanding the current park eastward on an undeveloped parcel purchased last year. Revenues from leasing this property may be sizeable. Projections

Includes ample description of electronic reference

Total city revenues from CIP will nearly double by 2012, producing an income of $2.45 million. This estimate is based on an annual growth rate of 0.65 percent, as projected by the Bureau of Labor Statistics and reported at the Web site of Infoplease.com (“Economic Outlook Through 2012”). Employment

Sets stage for next topics to be discussed

One of the most important factors to consider in the overall effect of an industrial park is employment. In Coconino Industrial Park the distribution, number, and wages of people employed will change considerably in the next six years. Distribution A total of 7,035 employees currently work in various industry groups at Coconino Industrial Park. The distribution of employees is shown in Figure 2. The largest number of workers (58 percent) is employed in manufacturing and assembly operations. In the next largest category, the computer and electronics industry employs 24 percent of the workers. Some overlap probably exists because electronics assembly could be included in either group. Employees also work in publishing (9 percent), warehousing and storage (5 percent), and other industries (4 percent). Although the distribution of employees at Coconino Industrial Park shows a wide range of employment categories, it must be noted that other industrial parks would likely generate an entirely different range of job categories. 3

Only the most important research findings are interpreted and discussed for readers. The depth of discussion depends on the intended length of the report, the goal of the writer, and the expectations of the reader. Because the writer wants this report to be formal in tone, she avoids I and we in all discussions. As you type a report, avoid widows and orphans (ending a page with the first line of a paragraph or carrying a single line of a paragraph to a new page). Strive to start and end pages with at least two lines of a paragraph, even if a slightly larger bottom margin results.

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Page 4

Figure 2 EMPLOYMENT DISTRIBUTION OF INDUSTRY GROUPS Warehousing and storage (5%)

Other (4%)

Publishing (9%)

Pie chart shows proportion of a whole and includes percentage figures for clarity

Manufacturing and assembly (58%)

Computer and electronics (24%)

Source: 2006 survey of CIP employees Wages

Places figure close to textual reference

In 2006 employees at CIP earned a total of $398 million in wages, as shown in Figure 3. The average employee in that year earned $56,579. The highest average wages were paid to employees in white-collar fields, such as computer and electronics ($65,200) and publishing ($61,100). Average wages for workers in blue-collar fields ranged from $53,400 in manufacturing and assembly to $48,500 in warehousing and storage.

Figure 3 AVERAGE ANNUAL WAGES BY INDUSTRIAL GROUPS Coconino Industrial Park, 2006

Aligns figures on the right and centers headings over columns

Industry Group Employees Manufacturing and assembly 4,073 Computer and electronics 1,657 Publishing 672 Warehousing and storage 370 Other 263 7,035

Annual Wages $53,400 65,200 61,100 48,500 51,300

Total $217,498,200 108,036,400 41,059,200 17,945,000 13,491,900 $398,030,700

Source: 2006 Survey of CIP employees

If you use figures or tables, be sure to introduce them in the text (for example, as shown in Figure 3). Although it’s not always possible, try to place figures and tables close to the spot where they are first mentioned. To save space, you can print the title of a figure at its side. Because this report contains few tables and figures, the writer named them all “Figures” and numbered them consecutively.

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FIGURE 10.17

Page 5

Projections

Clarifies information and tells what it means in relation to original research questions

By 2012 Coconino Industrial Park is expected to more than double its number of employees, bringing the total to over 15,000 workers. The total payroll in 2012 will also more than double, producing over $998 million (using constant 2006 dollars) in salaries to CIP employees. These projections are based on an 8 percent growth rate (Miller 78), along with anticipated increased employment as the park reaches its capacity. Future development in the park will influence employment and payrolls. One CIP project manager stated in an interview that much of the remaining 50 acres is planned for medium-rise office buildings, garden offices, and other structures for commercial, professional, and personal services (Novak). Average wages for employees are expected to increase because of an anticipated shift to higher-paying white-collar jobs. Industrial parks often follow a similar pattern of evolution (Badri 41). Like many industrial parks, CIP evolved from a warehousing center into a manufacturing complex.

-12

Summarizes conclusions and recommendations

CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS Analysis of tax revenues, employment data, personal interviews, and professional literature leads to the following conclusions and recommendations about the economic impact of Coconino Industrial Park on the city of Flagstaff: 1. Sales tax and other revenues produced nearly $1.8 million in income to the city of Flagstaff in 2006. By 2012 sales tax and other revenues are expected to produce $2.5 million in city income.

Uses a numbered list for clarity and ease of reading

2. CIP currently employs 7,035 employees, the majority of whom are working in manufacturing and assembly. The average employee in 2006 earned $56,579. 3. By 2012 CIP is expected to employ more than 15,000 workers producing a total payroll of over $998 million. 4. Employment trends indicate that by 2012 more CIP employees will be engaged in higher-paying white-collar positions. On the basis of these findings, we recommend that the City Council of Flagstaff authorize the development of additional industrial parks to stimulate local economic growth.

After discussing and interpreting the research findings, the writer articulates what she considers the most important conclusions and recommendations. Longer, more complex reports may have separate sections for conclusions and resulting recommendations. In this report they are combined. Notice that it is unnecessary to start a new page for the conclusions.

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Works Cited

Arranges references in alphabetical order WORKS CITED Magazine

Badri, Masood A. “Infrastructure, Trends, and Economic Effects of Industrial Parks.” Industry Week. 1 Apr. 2005: 38–45.

Newspaper

Cohen, Allen P. “Industrial Parks Invade Suburbia.” The New York Times. 10 Dec. 2005, sec. C: 1.

World Wide Web

“Economic Outlook Through 2012.” Bureau of Labor Statistics. Retrieved 24 Nov. 2005 .

Brochure

Arizona State Board of Equalization Bulletin. Phoenix: State Printing Office, 2005. 26–29.

Book

Miller, Arthur M. Redevelopment Projects: Future Prospects. New York: Rincon Press, 2005.

Interview

Novak, Ivan M. Personal interview with author. 30 Nov. 2005.

Online Article

Pearson, Sandra. “Travel to Work Characteristics for the 50 Largest Metropolitan Areas by Population in the United States.” The Wall Street Journal. Retrieved 15 Dec. 2005 .

Follows Modern Language Association documentation style

On this page the writer lists all references cited in the text as well as others that she examined during her research. The writer lists these citations following the MLA referencing style. Notice that all entries are arranged alphabetically. Book and periodical titles are italicized, but they could be underlined. When referring to online items, she shows the full name of the citation and then identifies the URL as well as the date on which she accessed the electronic reference. This works-cited page is shown with single-spacing, which is preferable for business reports. However, MLA style recommends double-spacing for research reports, including the works-cited page. MLA style also shows “Works Cited” in upper- and lowercase letters. However, the writer preferred to use all caps to be consistent with other headngs in this business report.

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY As you learned in Chapter 9, the purpose of an executive summary is to present an overview of a longer report to people who may not have time to read the entire document. This time-saving device summarizes the purpose, key points, findings, and conclusions. An executive summary is usually no longer than 10 percent of the original document. Thus, a 20-page report might require a 2-page executive summary. Chapter 9 discussed how to write an executive summary and included an example in Figure 9.9. You can see another executive summary in Figure 10.17.

The body of a report includes an introduction; discussion of findings; and summary, conclusions, or recommendations.

Body of Report The main section of a report is the body. It generally begins with an introduction, includes a discussion of findings, and concludes with a summary and possibly recommendations.

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INTRODUCTION The body of a formal report starts with an introduction that sets the scene and announces the subject. Because they contain many parts serving different purposes, formal reports have a degree of repetition. The same information may be included in the letter or memo of transmittal, executive summary, and introduction. To avoid sounding repetitious, try to present the information slightly differently in each section. A good report introduction typically covers the following elements, although not necessarily in this order: • Background. Describe the events leading up to the problem or need. • Problem or purpose. Explain the report topic and specify the problem or need that motivated the report. • Significance. Tell why the topic is important. You may wish to quote experts or cite secondary sources to establish the importance of the topic. • Scope. Clarify the boundaries of the report, defining what will be included or excluded. • Sources and methods. Describe your secondary sources. Also explain how you collected primary data. • Summary. Include a summary of findings, if the report is written directly. • Organization. Preview the major sections of the report to follow, thus providing coherence and transition for the reader. DISCUSSION OF FINDINGS This is the main section of the report and contains numerous headings and subheadings. This section discusses, analyzes, interprets, and evaluates the research findings or solution to the initial problem. This is where you show the evidence that justifies your conclusions. It is unnecessary to use the title Discussion of Findings; many business report writers prefer to begin immediately with the major headings into which the body of the report is divided. As summarized in Figure 10.2, you may organize the findings chronologically, geographically, topically, or by some other method. Regardless of the organizational pattern, present your findings logically and objectively. Avoid the use of first-person pronouns (I, we). Include tables, charts, and graphs if necessary to illustrate findings. Analytic and scientific reports may include another section titled Implications of Findings, in which the findings are analyzed and related to the problem. Less formal reports contain the author’s analysis of the research findings within the Discussion section. SUMMARY, CONCLUSIONS, RECOMMENDATIONS The conclusion to a report tells what the findings mean, particularly in terms of solving the original problem. If the report has been largely informational, it ends with a summary of the data presented. If the report analyzes research findings, then it ends with conclusions drawn from the analyses. An analytic report frequently poses research questions. The conclusion to such a report reviews the major findings and answers the research questions. If a report seeks to determine a course of action, it may end with conclusions and recommendations. Recommendations regarding a course of action may be placed in a separate section or incorporated with the conclusions.

Supplementary Parts of Report WORKS CITED, REFERENCES, OR BIBLIOGRAPHY Endnotes, a bibliography, and appendixes may appear after the body of the report.

Readers look in the bibliography section to locate the sources of ideas mentioned in a report. Your method of report documentation determines how this section is developed. If you use the Modern Language Association (MLA) referencing format, all citations would be listed alphabetically in the “Works Cited.” If you use the American Psychological Association (APA) format, your list would be called “References.”

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Regardless of the format, you must include the author, title, publication, date of publication, page number, and other significant data for all sources used in your report. For electronic references include the URL and the date you accessed the information online. To see electronic and other citations, examine the list of references at the end of Figure 10.17, which follows the MLA documentation style. See Appendix C for more information on documentation formats. APPENDIX The appendix contains any supplementary or supporting information needed to clarify the report. This information is relevant to some readers but not to all. Extra information that might be included in an appendix are such items as survey forms, a survey cover letter, correspondence relating to the report, maps, other reports, and optional tables. Items in the appendix are labeled Appendix A, Appendix B, and so forth; and these items should be referenced in the body of the report.

SUMMING UP AND LOOKING FORWARD Proposals are written offers to solve problems, provide services, or sell equipment. Both small and large businesses today write proposals to generate income. Informal proposals may be as short as 2 pages; formal proposals may be 200 pages or more. Regardless of the size, proposals contain standard parts that must be developed persuasively. Formal reports present well-organized information systematically. The information may be collected from primary or secondary sources. All ideas borrowed from

others must be documented. Good reports contain appropriate headings to help guide readers through the report. In addition, formal reports often contain tables, charts, and graphs to illustrate data. Written reports are vital to decision makers. But oral reports can be equally important. In Chapter 12 you will learn how to organize and make professional oral presentations. Before discussing oral reports, however, you’ll learn how to communicate effectively in person, by telephone, and in meetings in Chapter 11.

CRITICAL THINKING

2. Discuss this statement, made by three well-known professional business writers: “Nothing you write will be completely new.”15

4. Should all reports be written so that they follow the sequence of investigation—that is, description of the initial problem, analysis of issues, data collection, data analysis, and conclusions? Why or why not?

3. Is information obtained on the Web as reliable as information obtained from journals, newspapers, and magazines? Explain.

5. Distinguish between primary and secondary data. Which data are more likely to be useful in a business report?

1. Why is proposal writing an important function in many businesses?

CHAPTER REVIEW 6. What is the difference between a solicited and an unsolicited proposal. Give an example of when each would be written.

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7. What are the six principal parts of an informal proposal? Be prepared to explain each.

8. How are formal proposals different from informal proposals?

9. What is the first step in writing a formal report?

10. List four sources of secondary information, and be prepared to discuss how valuable each might be in writing a formal report about outsourcing your company’s payroll function.

11. Define these terms: browser, URL, search tool.

12. What are weblogs (blogs) and how can they be used for research?

13. Pie charts are most helpful in showing what? Line charts are most effective in showing what?

14. List three reasons for documenting data in a business report.

15. List the parts of a formal report. Be prepared to discuss each.

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ACTIVITIES AND CASES TEAM

10.1 Researching Secondary and Primary Data In teams, discuss how you would collect information for each of the following report topics. Would your research be primary, secondary, or a combination of methods? What resources would be most useful—-books, articles, the Web, interviewing, surveys? a. The history of unions in the United States

b. Which public relations firm will best improve the image of a company so that its stock price increases

c. The cause of the high absenteeism in one department of a company

d. The latest Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) rulings that might affect your small business

e. The traffic count at a possible location for a new coffee shop

f. What do school board members feel about the criticism of snack foods being sold to students?

g. The costs and features of a new network system for your company

h. How users are reacting to a new digital imaging software that was recently released

i. How to meet international quality standards (ISO certification) so that you can sell your products in Europe

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10.2 Gathering and Documenting Data: Biotechnology Alters Foods California is home to the nation’s most diverse and valuable agricultural industry. Many of its crops are sold in Japanese and European markets where customers are extremely wary of genetically modified foods. Despite that fact, sources in the state capital are reporting that the biotech industry is actively seeking sponsors for a bill in the state legislature that would preempt the right of counties to ban genetically engineered crops. As an intern working for the Organic Consumers Association, the nation’s largest public interest group dedicated to a healthy and sustainable food system, you have been asked to gather data about the dangers of genetically engineered crops. The organization plans to write a report to the state government about this issue. Your Task. Conduct a keyword search using three different search tools on the Web. Select three articles you think would be most pertinent to the organization’s argument. Save them using the strategies for

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managing data, and create a bibliography. Conduct the same keyword search with InfoTrac. Save the three most pertinent articles, and add these items to your bibliography. In a short memo to your instructor, summarize what you’ve found and describe its value. Attach the bibliography.

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10.3 Writing a Survey: Studying Employee Use of Instant Messaging Instant messaging (IM) is a popular way to exchange messages in real time. It offers the convenience of telephone conversations and e-mail. Best of all, it allows employees to contact anyone in the world while retaining a written copy of the conversation—without a whopping telephone bill! But instant messaging is risky for companies. They may lose trade secrets or confidential information over insecure lines. They also may be liable if inappropriate material is exchanged. Moreover, IM opens the door to viruses that can infect a company’s entire computer system. Your boss just read an article stating that 40 percent of companies now use IM for business and up to 90 percent of employees use IM WITHOUT their manager’s knowledge or authorization. He asks you to prepare a survey of your 48-member staff to learn how many are using IM. He wants to know what type of IM software they have downloaded, how many hours a day they spend on IM, what are the advantages of IM, and so forth. The goal is not to identify those using or abusing IM. Instead, the goal is to learn when, how, and why it is being used so that appropriate policies can be designed. Your Task. Use InfoTrac or the Web to learn more about instant messaging. Then prepare a short employee survey. Include an appropriate introduction that explains the survey and encourages a response. Should you ask for names on the survey? How can you encourage return of the forms? Your instructor may wish to expand this survey into a report by having you produce fictitious survey results, analyze the findings, draw conclusions, and make recommendations.

10.4 Outlining: Explaining Weblogs Your boss has been hearing a lot about weblogs (blogs) lately and wonders if this is something your company should start using for research and communication. He has asked you to write a short report on how blogs can be used in a business environment. He also wonders if a blogging policy would be needed. Here are some ideas you gathered from your Internet research: Although some companies worry that blogs could be used to expose company secrets or violate securities laws, many companies are encouraging their employees to take part in blogging. The corporate world has found that blogging is an effective way to communicate with customers and clients, to encourage internal interaction, and make them look more approachable and “human” to the outside world. Blogs can also be used by employees for research, for data collection, and for keeping up with what competitors are doing. Some companies have both external and internal blogs, and some even allow employees to set up personal blogs. Companies that use blogs should probably have policies or guidelines governing their use. Companies might adopt guidelines that require employees to use first-person pronouns and to be honest. Microsoft tells employees to avoid writing blog entries when they’re upset or emotional. Other companies provide lists of topics that should be avoided in blogs, such as anything that should remain confidential, private, or secret or anything that is embarrassing, libelous, or illegal. Above all, any policy should state that employees are responsible for their own posts. Various tools can be used to set up blogs. Some of the most popular include Google’s Blogger.com, Microsoft’s MSN Spaces, and Yahoo’s 360 service. These tools make setting up blogs easy to do. They help users publish text entries, add photos, publish links to other blogs and Web pages, and establish privacy if desired. They also provide themes and various editing tools that can help corporate blogs look professional. Your Task. Select the most important information and organize it into an outline such as that shown in Figure 10.3. You should have three main topics with three subdivisions under each. Assume that you will gather more information later. Add a title.

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TEAM

10.5 Selecting Graphics In teams identify the best graphic (table, bar chart, line chart, pie chart, flowchart, organization chart, illustration, map) to illustrate the following data: a. Figure showing the process of converting grapes into wine

b. Figures showing what proportion of every state tax dollar is spent on education, social services, transportation, debt, and other expenses

c. Data showing the academic, administrative, and operation divisions of a college, from the president to department chairs and division managers

d. Figures showing the operating revenue of a company for the past five years

e. Figures comparing the sales of PDAs (personal digital assistants), cell phones, and laptop computers over the past five years

f. Percentages showing the causes of forest fires (lightning, 73 percent; arson, 5 percent; campfires, 9 percent; and so on) in the Rocky Mountains

g. Figure comparing the costs of cable, DSL, and satellite Internet service in ten major metropolitan areas of the United States for the past ten years (the boss wants to see exact figures)

h. Figure showing the distribution of West Nile virus in humans by state

10.6 Evaluating Graphics in Publications From U.S. News & World Report, USA Today, BusinessWeek, a textbook, or some other publication, locate one example each of a table, a pie chart, a line chart, a bar chart, and an organization chart. Bring copies of these visual aids to class. How effectively could the data have been expressed in words, without the graphics? Is the appropriate graphic form used? How is the graphic introduced in the text? Do you think the graphic is misleading or unethical in any way? Your instructor may ask you to submit a memo discussing visual aids.

10.7 Studying Graphics in Annual Reports In a memo to your instructor, evaluate the effectiveness of graphics in three to five corporation annual reports. Critique their readability, clarity, and success in visualizing data. How were they introduced in the text? What suggestions would you make to improve them? Do you feel the graphics presented the data accurately and ethically?

10.8 Developing Bibliography Skills Select a business topic that interests you. Prepare a bibliography of at least five current magazine or newspaper articles, three books, and five online references that contain relevant information regarding the topic. Your instructor may ask you to divide your bibliography into sections: Books, Periodicals, Online Resources.

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You may also be asked to annotate your bibliography, that is, to compose a brief description of each reference, such as this: Armstrong, David. “Airlines Could Allow Chatter: FCC Reconsidering Ban on In-Flight Calls, Starting to Ask Passengers What They Think.” San Francisco Chronicle, 28 April 2005, C1. This article discusses the efforts the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), which regulates telecommunications, and the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), which oversees civil airline safety. What efforts are these agencies making to allow airline passengers to use personal cell phones during flights? For this to happen, each organization would have to lift bans on using personal electronic devices on commercial aircraft. They are asking for public comment to determine whether passengers are interested in this service. WEB

10.9 Proposals: Comparing Real Proposals Many new companies with services or products to offer would like to land corporate or government contracts. But they are intimidated by the proposal (RFP process). You have been asked for help by your friend Chloe, who has started her own designer uniform company. Her goal is to offer her colorful yet functional uniforms to hospitals and clinics. Before writing a proposal, however, she wants to see examples and learn more about the process. Your Task. Use the Web to find at least two examples of business proposals. Don’t waste time on sites that want to sell templates or books. Find actual examples. Then prepare a memo to Chloe in which you do the following: a. Identify two sites with sample business proposals. b. Outline the parts of each proposal. c. Compare the strengths and weaknesses of each proposal. d. Draw conclusions. What can Chloe learn from these examples? TEAM

CRITICAL THINKING

10.10 Proposal: Looking for Clients for Your Business In university towns, sports medicine is increasingly popular. A new medical clinic, SportsMed Institute, is opening its doors in your hometown; and a mutual friend has recommended your small business to the administrator of the clinic. You have received a letter asking you to provide information about your service. The new medical clinic specializes in sports medicine, physical therapy, and cardiac rehabilitation services. It is interested in retaining your company, rather than hiring its own employees to perform the service your company offers. Your Task. Working in teams, first decide what service you will offer. It could be landscaping, uniform supply, laundry of uniforms, general cleaning, computerized no-paper filing system, online medical supplies, patient transportation, supplemental hospice care, temporary office support, or food service. As a team, develop a letter proposal outlining your plan, staffing, and budget. Use persuasion to show why contracting your services is better than hiring in-house employees. In the proposal letter, request a meeting with the administrative board. In addition to a written proposal, you may be expected to make an oral presentation that includes visual aids and/or handouts. Send your proposal to Dr. Douglas Zlock, Director, SportsMed Institute. Supply a local address.

10.11 Unsolicited Proposal: Working From Home You have been working as a computer programmer for your company since its inception in 1998. Every day you commute from your home, almost two hours round trip. Most of your work is done at a computer terminal with little or no human contact. You would prefer to eliminate the commute time, and you believe that this time could be better spent working on your programming. You believe your job would be perfect for telecommuting. With a small investment in the proper equipment, you could do all of your work at home, perhaps reporting to the office once a week for meetings and other activities. Your Task. Research the costs and logistics of telecommuting, and present your proposal to your supervisor, Cynthia Barry. Because this is an unsolicited proposal, you’ll need to be even more persuasive. Convince your supervisor that the company will benefit from this telecommuting arrangement.

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CRITICAL THINKING

10.12 Proposal: Starting Your Own Business You and your buddies have a terrific idea for a new business in your town. For example, you might want to propose to Starbucks the concept of converting some of its coffee shops into Internet cafes. Or you might propose to the city or another organization a better Web site, which you and your team would design and maintain. You might want to start a word processing business that offers production, editing, and printing services. Often businesses, medical centers, attorneys, and other professionals have overload transcribing or word processing to farm out to a service. Your Task. Working in teams, explore entrepreneurial ventures based on your experience and expertise. Write a proposal to secure approval and funding. Your report should include a transmittal letter, as well as a description of your proposed company, its product or service, a market analysis, an operations and management plan, and a financial plan. TEAM

10.13 Formal Report: Intercultural Communication U.S. businesses are expanding into foreign markets with manufacturing plants, sales offices, and branch offices abroad. Unfortunately, most Americans have little knowledge of or experience with people from other cultures. To prepare for participation in the global marketplace, you are to collect information for a report focused on an Asian, Latin American, African, or European country where English is not regularly spoken. Before selecting the country, though, consider consulting your campus international student program for volunteers who are willing to be interviewed. Your instructor may make advance arrangements seeking international student volunteers. Your Task. In teams of two to four, collect information about your target country from the library, the Web, and other sources. If possible, invite an international student representing your target country to be interviewed by your group. As you conduct primary and secondary research, investigate the topics listed in Figure 10.18.16 Confirm what you learn in your secondary research by talking with your interviewee. When you complete your research, write a report for the CEO of your company (make up a name and company). Assume that your company plans to expand its operations abroad. Your report should advise the company’s executives of social customs, family life, attitudes, appropriate business attire, religions, economic institutions, and values in the target country. Remember that your company’s interests are business oriented; don’t dwell on tourist information. Write your report individually or in teams. CRITICAL THINKING

10.14 Formal Report: Readability of Insurance Policies The Urban Life Insurance Company is concerned about the readability of its policies. State legislators are beginning to investigate complaints of policyholders who say they can’t understand their insurance policies. One judge lambasted insurers, saying, “The language in these policies is bureaucratic gobbledygook, jargon, double-talk, a form of officialese, federalese, and insurancese that does not qualify as English. The burden upon organizations is to write policies in a manner designed to communicate rather than to obfuscate.” Taking the initiative in improving its policies, Urban Life hires you as a consultant to study its standard policy and make recommendations. Examine a life, fire, auto, or health insurance policy that you or a friend or relative holds. Select one that is fairly complex. Study the policy for jargon, confusing language, long sentences, and unclear antecedents. Evaluate its format, print size, paper and print quality, amount of white space, and use of headings. Does it have an index or glossary? Are difficult terms defined? How easy is it to find specifics, should a policyholder want to check something? In addition to the data you collect from your own examination of the policy, Urban Life gives you the following data from a recent policyholder survey: Response to statement: “I am able to read and understand the language and provisions of my policy.” Age Group 18–34 35–49 50–64 65+

Strongly Agree

Agree

Undecided

Disagree

Strongly Disagree

2% 2 1 1

9% 17 11 2

34% 38 22 17

41% 33 35 47

14% 10 31 33

Your Task. Prepare a report for Neal Skapura, vice president, Urban Life Insurance Company, discussing your analysis, conclusions, and recommendations for improving its basic policy.

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Intercultural Interview Topics and Questions

Social Customs

Political Patterns

1. How do people react to strangers? Friendly? Hostile? Reserved?

1. Are there any immediate threats to the political survival of the country?

2. How do people greet each other?

2. How is political power manifested?

3. What are the appropriate manners when you enter a room? Bow? Nod? Shake hands with everyone?

3. What channels are used for expression of popular opinion?

4. How are names used for introductions? Is it appropriate to inquire about one’s occupation or family?

5. Is it appropriate to talk politics in social situations?

5. What are the attitudes toward touching? 6. How does one express appreciation for an invitation to another’s home? Bring a gift? Send flowers? Write a thank-you note? Are any gifts taboo? 7. Are there any customs related to how or where one sits? 8. Are any facial expressions or gestures considered rude? 9. How close do people stand when talking? 10. What is the attitude toward punctuality in social situations? In business situations? 11. What are acceptable eye contact patterns? 12. What gestures indicate agreement? Disagreement? Family Life 1. What is the basic unit of social organization? Basic family? Extended family? 2. Do women work outside of the home? In what occupations? Housing, Clothing, and Food 1. Are there differences in the kind of housing used by different social groups? Differences in location? Differences in furnishings?

4. What information media are important?

Religion and Folk Beliefs 1. To which religious groups do people belong? Is one predominant? 2. Do religious beliefs influence daily activities? 3. Which places have sacred value? Which objects? Which events? 4. How do religious holidays affect business activities? Economic Institutions 1. What are the country’s principal products? 2. Are workers organized in unions? 3. How are businesses owned? By family units? By large public corporations? By the government? 4. What is the standard work schedule? 5. Is it appropriate to do business by telephone? 6. How has technology affected business procedures? 7. Is participatory management used? 8. Are there any customs related to exchanging business cards? 9. How is status shown in an organization? Private office? Secretary? Furniture?

2. What occasions require special clothing?

10. Are businesspeople expected to socialize before conducting business?

3. Are some types of clothing considered taboo?

Value Systems

4. What is appropriate business attire for men? For women?

1. Is competitiveness or cooperation more prized?

5. How many times a day do people eat?

3. Is politeness more important than factual honesty?

6. What types of places, food, and drink are appropriate for business entertainment? Where is the seat of honor at a table?

4. What are the attitudes toward education?

Class Structure 1. Into what classes is society organized? 2. Do racial, religious, or economic factors determine social status? 3. Are there any minority groups? What is their social standing?

2. Is thrift or enjoyment of the moment more valued?

5. Do women own or manage businesses? If so, how are they treated? 6. What are your people’s perceptions of Americans? Do Americans offend you? What has been hardest for you to adjust to in America? How could Americans make this adjustment easier for you?

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10.15 Formal Report: Fast-Food Checkup The national franchising headquarters for a fast-food chain has received complaints about the service, quality, and cleanliness of one of its restaurants in your area. You have been sent to inspect and to report on what you see. Your Task. Select a nearby fast-food restaurant. Visit on two or more occasions. Make notes about how many customers were served, how quickly they received their food, and how courteously they were treated. Observe the number of employees and supervisors working. Note the cleanliness of observable parts of the restaurant. Inspect the restroom as well as the exterior and surrounding grounds. Sample the food. Your boss is a stickler for details; she has no use for general statements such as The restroom was not clean. Be specific. Draw conclusions. Are the complaints justified? If improvements are necessary, make recommendations. Address your report to Samantha M. Murray, President. INFOTRAC

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10.16 Formal Report: Consumer Product Investigation Study a consumer product that you might consider buying. Are you, or is your family or your business, interested in purchasing a DVD player, computer, digital camera, espresso machine, car, SUV, hot tub, or some other product? Your Task. Use at least five primary and five secondary sources in researching your topic. Your primary research will be in the form of interviews with individuals (owners, users, salespeople, technicians) in a position to comment on attributes of your product. Secondary research will be in the form of print or electronic sources, such as magazine articles, owner manuals, and Web sites. Be sure to use InfoTrac and the Web to find appropriate articles. Your report should analyze and discuss at least three comparable models or versions of the target product. Decide what criteria you will use to compare the models, such as price, features, warranty, service, and so forth. The report should include these components: letter of transmittal, table of contents, executive summary, introduction (including background, purpose, scope of the study, and research methods), findings (organized by comparison criteria), summary of findings, conclusions, recommendations, and bibliography. Address the report to your instructor. You may work individually, in pairs, or in teams. INFOTRAC

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10.17 Formal Report: Communication Skills on the Job Collect information regarding communication skills used by individuals in a particular career field (accounting, management, marketing, office administration, paralegal, and so forth). Interview three or more individuals in a specific occupation in that field. Determine how much and what kind of writing they do. Do they make oral presentations? How much time do they spend in telephone communication? Do they use e-mail? If so, how much and for what? What other technology do they use for communication? What recommendations do they have for training for this position? Your Task. Write a report that discusses the findings from your interviews. What conclusions can you draw regarding communication skills in this field? What recommendations would you make for individuals entering this field? Your instructor may ask you to research the perception of businesspeople over the past ten years regarding the communication skills of employees. To gather such data, conduct library or online research.

10.18 More Proposal and Report Topics A list with over 90 report topics is available at the companion site for this book (http://guffey.swlearning.com). The topics are divided into the following categories: accounting, finance, human resources, marketing, information systems, management, and general business/education/campus issues. You can collect information for many of these reports by using InfoTrac and the Web. Your instructor may assign them as individual or team projects. All involve critical thinking in organizing information, drawing conclusions, and making recommendations. The topics include assignments appropriate for proposals, business plans, and formal reports.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHECKUP—10 Apostrophes Review Sections 2.20–2.22 in the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook. Then study each of the following statements. Underscore any inappropriate form. Write a correction in the space provided and record the number of the G/M principle(s) illustrated. If a sentence is correct, write C. When you finish, compare your responses with those at the back of the book. If your answers differ, study carefully the principles shown in parentheses. years’

(2.20b)

Example

In just two years time, Marti earned her M.B.A. degree.

1. Amanda Sullivans proposal was accepted. 2. The company plans to double its earnings in three years time. 3. All employees in the Human Resources Department must take their two weeks vacation before January 1. 4. The attorneys agreed that Judge Millers comments were justified. 5. Several employees records were accidentally removed from the files. 6. The last witness testimony was the most convincing to the jury members. 7. Lisas smoking led to health problems. 8. I always get my moneys worth at my favorite restaurant. 9. Three local companies went out of business last month. 10. In one months time we hope to have our new Web site up and running. 11. I need my boss signature on this expense claim. 12. Only one legal secretaries document was error-free. 13. Five applicants will be interviewed on Friday. 14. My companys stock price rose dramatically last month. 15. In three months several businesses opening hours will change.

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GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHALLENGE—10 The following executive summary has faults in grammar, punctuation, spelling, number form, wordiness, and word use. Correct the errors with standard proofreading marks (see Appendix B) or revise the message online at Guffey Xtra! When you finish, your instructor may show you the revised version of this summary.

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY Problem The U.S. tuna industry must expand it’s markets abroad particularly in regard to Japan. One of the largest consumer’s of tuna in the world. Although consumption of tuna is decreasing in the United States they are increasing in Japan. The problem that is for the american tuna industry is developing apropriate marketing strategies to boost its current sale’s in Japanese markets. Even tho Japan produces much of it’s tuna domesticly, they must still relie on imported tuna to meet costumer demand.

Summary of Findings This report analyzes the Japanese market which currently consumes six hundred thousand tons of tuna per year, and is growing rapidly. In Japan, tuna is primarilly used for sashimi (raw fish) and caned tuna. Tuna is consumed in the food service industry and in home’s. Much of this tuna is supplied by imports which at this point in time total about 35% of sales. Our findings indicate that not only will this expand, but the share of imports will continue to grow. The trend is alarming to Japanese tuna industry leaders, because this important market, close to a $billion a year, is increasingly subject to the influence of foriegn imports. Declining catches by Japans own Tuna fleet as well as a sharp upward turn in food preference by affluent Japanese consumers, has contributed to this trend. The demand for sashimi alone in Japan has increased in the amount of 15% in the past two year’s. The U.S. tuna industry are in the perfect position to meet this demand. Fishing technique’s has been developed that maximize catch rate’s, while minimizing danger to the enviroment. Modern packaging procedures assure that the tuna reaches Japan in the freshest possible condition. Let it be said that Japanese consumers have rated the qaulity of American tuna high. Which has increased demand.

Recommendations Based on our analisys we reccommend the following 6 marketing strategys for the U.S. Tuna industry. 1.

Farm greater supplys of tuna to export.

Establish new fisheries around the World.

We should market our own value added products.

Sell fresh tuna direct to the Tokyo Central Wholesale market.

Sell to other Japanese markets also.

Direct sales should be made to Japanese Supermarket chains.

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Persuasive Messages Proposals and Formal Reports

TECHNOLOGY TRASH OR TREASURE ASSESSING THE QUALITY OF WEB DOCUMENTS Many users think that documents found by a World Wide Web search tool have somehow been previously validated by a trustworthy authority. Others think that, because the Web is the most current and most accessible source of information, its documents must be the most reliable available. Wrong on both counts! Almost anyone with a computer and an Internet connection can publish almost anything on the Web. In every Web domain, reliable sites and unreliable ones compete for your attention. Unlike the contents of the journals, magazines, and newspapers found in researchoriented libraries, the contents of many Web sites have not been carefully scrutinized by experienced editors and peer writers. To put it another way, print journals, magazines, and newspapers have traditionally featured reasonably unbiased, trustworthy articles; all too many Web sites, however, have another goal in mind. They are above all else interested in promoting a cause or in selling a product. To use the Web meaningfully, you must learn to scrutinize carefully what you find in the documents it offers. The following checklist will help you distinguish Web trash from Web treasure.

Checklist for Assessing the Quality of a Web Page Authority ✓ ⵧ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓

ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓

Who publishes or sponsors this Web page? Is the author or sponsor clearly identified? What makes the author or sponsor of the page an authority? Is information about the author or creator available? If the author is an individual, is he or she affiliated with a reputable organization? Is contact information, such as an e-mail address, available? To what domain (.com, .org, .edu, .gov, .net, .biz, .tv) does the site containing it belong? Is the site based in the United States or abroad (usually indicated by .uk, .ca, .ru, or other designation in the URL)? Is the site “personal” (often indicated by “~” or “%” in the site’s URL)?

Currency ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓

What is the date of the Web page? When was the last time the Web page was updated? Is some of the information obviously out of date?

Content ✓ ⵧ ⵧ ✓

ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓

Is the purpose of the page to entertain, inform, convince, or sell? How would you classify this page (e.g., news, personal, advocacy, reference)? Is the objective or purpose of the Web page clear? Who is the intended audience of the page, based on its content, tone, and style? Can you judge the overall value of the content as compared with other resources on this topic? Does the content seem to be comprehensive (does it cover everything about the topic)? Is the site easy to navigate?

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What other sites does the Web page link to? These may give you a clue to the credibility of the target page. Does the page contain distracting graphics or fill your screen with unwanted pop-ups?

Accuracy ✓ ⵧ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓

ⵧ ✓ ⵧ ✓

Do the facts that are presented seem reliable to you? Do you find spelling, grammar, or usage errors? Does the page have broken links or graphics that don’t load? Do you see any evidence of bias? Are footnotes or other documentation necessary? If so, have they been provided? If the site contains statistics or other data, are the source, date, and other pertinent information disclosed? Are advertisements clearly distinguished from content?

Career Application. As interns at a news-gathering service, you have been asked to assess the quality of the following Web sites. Which of these could you recommend as sources of valid information? •

Beef Nutrition (http://www.beefnutrition.org)

•

Edmunds—Where Smart Car Buyers Start (http://www.edmunds.com)

•

I Hate Windows (http://www.ihatewindowsxp.com)

•

EarthSave International (http://www.earthsave.org)

•

The Vegetarian Resource Group (http://www.vrg.org)

•

The White House (http://www.whitehouse.org)

•

The White House (http://www.whitehouse.gov)

•

National Anti-Vivisection Society (http://www.navs.org)

•

Dow: A Chemical Company on the Global Playground (http://www.dowethics.com)

•

Smithsonian Institution (http://www.si.edu)

•

Drudge Report (http://www.drudgereport.com)

•

American Cancer Society (http://www.cancer.org)

•

CraigsList (http://www.craigslist.com)

Your Task If you are working with a team, divide the preceding list among team members. If you are working individually, select four of the sites. Answer the questions in the preceding checklist as you evaluate each site. Summarize your evaluation of each site in a memo report to your instructor or in team or class discussion.

PHOTOS: © ROYALTY-FREE/CORBIS; © TRIANGLE IMAGES/DIGITAL VISION/GETTY IMAGES; © TRIANGLE IMAGES/DIGITAL VISION/GETTY IMAGES

DEVELOPING SPEAKING AND TECHNOLOGY SKILLS

CHAPTER 11

Communicating in Person, in Meetings, by Telephone, and Digitally CHAPTER 12

Making Effective and Professional Oral Presentations

To succeed, you will soon learn, as I did, the importance of a solid foundation in the basics of education— literacy, both verbal and numerical, and communication skills.1

”

Alan Greenspan, chairman, Federal Reserve

OBJECTIVES • Discuss improving face-to-face workplace communication including using your voice as a communication tool. • Specify procedures for promoting positive workplace relations through conversation. • Review techniques for responding professionally to workplace criticism and for offering constructive criticism on the job. • Outline procedures for planning, leading, and participating in productive business meetings, including professional etiquette techniques, resolving conflict, and handling dysfunctional group members. • Explain ways to polish your professional telephone skills, including traditional phones and cell phones. • List techniques for making the best use of voice mail, including proper voice mail etiquette. • Describe a variety of digital workplace communication tools, including voice conferencing, videoconferencing, Web conferencing, instant messaging, wireless technology, and blogging.

Strong oral communication skills can help you be hired and succeed on the job.

Alan Greenspan, chairman of the Federal Reserve, would agree that oral communication skills consistently rank at or near the top of competencies valued by employers. Companies are looking for employees who can interact successfully with customers, work smoothly with coworkers, and provide meaningful feedback to managers. Expressing yourself well and communicating effectively with others are skills that are critical to job placement, workplace performance, career advancement, and organizational success. Earlier in this book you studied the communication process, effective listening techniques, and nonverbal communication skills. Many intervening chapters helped you develop good writing skills. The next two chapters will round out your communication expertise by focusing on oral communication skills. In your business or professional

“

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career, you will be judged not only by what you say but also by the way you say it. In this chapter we’ll help you become more successful when you communicate in person, in meetings, by telephone, and digitally.

IMPROVING FACE-TO-FACE WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION

One-dimensional communication technologies cannot replace the richness or effectiveness of faceto-face communication.

Because today’s technologies provide many alternate communication channels, you may think that face-to-face communication is no longer essential or even important in business and professional transactions. You’ve already learned that e-mail is now the preferred communication channel because it is faster, cheaper, and easier than telephone, mail, or fax. Yet, despite their popularity and acceptance, alternate communication technologies can’t replace the richness or effectiveness of face-to-face communication.2 Imagine that you want to tell your boss how you solved a problem. Would you settle for a one-dimensional phone call, a fax, or an e-mail when you could step into her office and explain in person? Face-to-face conversation has many advantages. It allows you to be persuasive and expressive because you can use your voice and body language to make a point. You are less likely to be misunderstood because you can read feedback and make needed adjustments. In conflict resolution, you can reach a solution more efficiently and cooperate to create greater levels of mutual benefit when communicating faceto-face.3 Moreover, people want to see each other to satisfy a deep human need for social interaction. For numerous reasons communicating in person remains the most effective of all communication channels. In this chapter you’ll explore helpful business and professional interpersonal speaking techniques, starting with viewing your voice as a communication tool. You’ll also explore ways to use technology to communicate effectively in the workplace.

Using Your Voice as a Communication Tool Like an actor, you can change your voice to make it a more powerful communication tool.

It’s been said that language provides the words, but your voice is the music that makes words meaningful.4 You may believe that a beautiful or powerful voice is unattainable. After all, this is the voice you were born with and it can’t be changed. Actually, the voice is a flexible instrument. Actors hire coaches to help them eliminate or acquire accents or proper inflection for challenging roles. For example, Nicole Kidman, who

One of the most important figures in popular culture, Oprah Winfrey has cultivated a distinct speaking style. To use your voice as a communication tool, pay attention to how you sound. Practice techniques that improve your pronunciation, voice quality, pitch, volume, and emphasis.

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speaks with an Australian accent, often takes on other accents, including American Southern and South African, for film roles. Celebrities, business executives, and everyday people consult voice and speech therapists to help them shake bad habits or just help them speak so that they can be understood and not sound less intelligent than they are. Rather than consult a high-paid specialist, you can pick up useful tips for using your voice most effectively by learning how to control such elements as pronunciation, voice quality, pitch, volume, rate, and emphasis. PRONUNCIATION Proper pronunciation means saying words correctly and clearly with the accepted sounds and accented syllables.

Pronunciation involves saying words correctly and clearly with the accepted sounds and accented syllables. You’ll be at a distinct advantage in your job if, through training and practice, you learn to pronounce words correctly. How can you improve your pronunciation skills? The best ways are to listen carefully to educated people, to look words up in the dictionary, and to practice. VOICE QUALITY The quality of your voice sends a nonverbal message to listeners. It identifies your personality and your mood. Some voices sound enthusiastic and friendly, conveying the impression of an upbeat person who is happy to be with the listener. But voices can also sound controlling, patronizing, slow-witted, angry, bored, or childish. This doesn’t mean that the speaker necessarily has that attribute. It may mean that the speaker is merely carrying on a family tradition or pattern learned in childhood. To check your voice quality, record your voice and listen to it critically. Is it projecting a positive quality about you? PITCH Effective speakers use a relaxed, controlled, well-pitched voice to attract listeners to their message. Pitch refers to sound vibration frequency; that is, it indicates the highness or lowness of a sound. Voices are most engaging when they rise and fall in conversational tones. Flat, monotone voices are considered boring and ineffectual. VOLUME AND RATE

Speaking in a moderately lowpitched voice at about 125 words a minute makes you sound pleasing and professional.

Volume indicates the degree of loudness or the intensity of sound. Just as you adjust the volume on your radio or television set, you should adjust the volume of your speaking to the occasion and your listeners. Rate refers to the pace of your speech. If you speak too slowly, listeners are bored and their attention wanders. If you speak too quickly, listeners may not be able to understand you. Most people normally talk at about 125 words a minute. Monitor the nonverbal signs of your listeners and adjust your volume and rate as needed. EMPHASIS

“Uptalk,” in which sentences sound like questions, makes speakers seem weak and tentative.

By emphasizing or stressing certain words, you can change the meaning you are expressing. To make your message interesting and natural, use emphasis appropriately. Some speakers today are prone to uptalk. This is a habit of using a rising inflection at the end of a sentence resulting in a singsong pattern that makes statements sound like questions. Once used exclusively by teenagers, uptalk is increasingly found in the workplace with negative results. When statements sound like questions, speakers seem weak and tentative. Their messages lack conviction and authority. On the job, managers afflicted by uptalk may have difficulty convincing staff members to follow directions because their voice inflection implies that other valid options are available. If you want to sound confident and competent, avoid uptalk.

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Promoting Positive Workplace Relations Through Conversation In the workplace, conversations may involve giving and taking instructions, providing feedback, exchanging ideas on products and services, participating in performance appraisals, or engaging in small talk about such things as families and sports. Face-to-face conversation helps people work together harmoniously and feel that they are part of the larger organization. Our goal here is to provide you with several guidelines that promote positive workplace conversations, both in the office and at work-related social functions. USE CORRECT NAMES AND TITLES Although the world seems increasingly informal, it’s still wise to use titles and last names when addressing professional adults (Ms. O’Malley, Mr. Santiago). In some organizations senior staff members will speak to junior employees on a first-name basis, but the reverse may not be encouraged. Probably the safest plan is to ask your superiors how they want to be addressed. Customers and others outside the organization should always be addressed initially by title and last name. Wait for an invitation to use first names. When you meet strangers, do you have trouble remembering their names? You can improve your memory considerably if you associate the person with an object, place, color, animal, job, adjective, or some other memory hook. For example, technology pro Gina, L.A. Matt, silver-haired Mr. Elliott, baseball fan John, programmer Tanya, traveler Ms. Choi. The person’s name will also be more deeply imbedded in your memory if you use it immediately after being introduced, in subsequent conversation, and when you part. CHOOSE APPROPRIATE TOPICS You will be most effective in workplace conversations if you use correct names and titles, choose appropriate topics, avoid negative and judgmental remarks, and give sincere and specific praise.

In some workplace activities, such as social gatherings or interviews, you will be expected to engage in small talk. Be sure to stay away from controversial topics with someone you don’t know very well. Avoid politics, religion, or controversial current event items that can start heated arguments. To initiate appropriate conversations, read newspapers and listen to radio and TV shows discussing current events. Subscribe to e-newsletters that deliver relevant news to you via e-mail. Make a mental note of items that you can use in conversation, taking care to remember where you saw or heard the news items so that you can report accurately and authoritatively. Try not to be defensive or annoyed if others present information that upsets you. AVOID NEGATIVE REMARKS Workplace conversations are not the place to complain about your colleagues, your friends, the organization, or your job. No one enjoys listening to whiners. What’s more, your criticism of others may come back to haunt you. A snipe at your boss or a complaint about a fellow worker may reach him or her, sometimes embellished or distorted with meanings you did not intend. Be circumspect in all negative judgments. Remember, some people love to repeat statements that will stir up trouble or set off internal workplace wars. Don’t give them the ammunition! LISTEN TO LEARN In conversations with managers, colleagues, subordinates, and customers, train yourself to expect to learn something from what you are hearing. Being attentive is not only instructive but also courteous. Beyond displaying good manners, you’ll probably find that your conversation partner has information that you don’t have. Being receptive and listening with an open mind means not interrupting or prejudging. Let’s say you want very much to be able to work at home for part of your workweek. You try to explain your ideas to your boss, but he cuts you off shortly after you start. He

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Office parties and other social functions provide excellent opportunities to relax and to get to know your coworkers better. When attending these functions, keep your conversations positive and professional.

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says, It’s out of the question; we need you here every day. Suppose instead he says, I have strong reservations about your telecommuting, but maybe you’ll change my mind; and he settles in to listen to your presentation. Even if your boss decides against your request, you will feel that your ideas were heard and respected. GIVE SINCERE AND SPECIFIC PRAISE The Greek philosopher Xenophon once said, The sweetest of all sounds is praise. Probably nothing promotes positive workplace relationships better than sincere and specific praise. Whether the compliments and appreciation are traveling upward to management, downward to workers, or horizontally to colleagues, everyone responds well to recognition. Organizations run more smoothly and morale is higher when people feel appreciated. In your workplace conversations, look for ways to recognize good work and good people. Try to be specific. Instead of You did a good job in leading that meeting, say something more specific, such as Your excellent leadership skills certainly kept that meeting short, focused, and productive. ACT PROFESSIONALLY IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS You will likely attend many work-related social functions during your career, including dinners, picnics, holiday parties, and other events. It’s important to remember that your actions at these events can help or harm your career. Dress appropriately, and avoid or limit alcohol consumption. Choose appropriate conversation topics, and make sure that your voice and mannerisms communicate that you’re glad to be there.

Accepting and Responding Professionally to Workplace Criticism As much as most of us hate giving criticism, we dislike receiving it even more. Yet, it’s normal to both give and receive criticism on the job. The criticism may be given informally, for example, during a casual conversation with a supervisor or coworker. Or the criticism may be given formally, for example, during a performance evaluation. The important thing is that you are able to accept and respond professionally when receiving criticism. When being criticized, you may feel that you are being attacked. You can’t just sit back and relax. Your heart beats faster, your temperature shoots up, your face reddens, and you respond with the classic “fight or flight” syndrome. You want to instantly retaliate or escape from the attacker. But focusing on your feelings distracts

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When being criticized, you should listen, paraphrase, and clarify what is said; if you agree, apologize or explain what you will do differently.

If you feel you are being criticized unfairly, disagree respectfully and constructively; look for a middle position.

Communicating in Person, in Meetings, by Telephone, and Digitally

you from hearing the content of what is being said, and it prevents you from responding professionally. Some or all of the following suggestions will guide you in reacting positively to criticism so that you can benefit from it: • Listen without interrupting. Even though you might want to protest, make yourself hear the speaker out. • Determine the speaker’s intent. Unskilled communicators may throw “verbal bricks” with unintended negative-sounding expressions. If you think the intent is positive, focus on what is being said rather than reacting to poorly chosen words. • Acknowledge what you are hearing. Respond with a pause, a nod, or a neutral statement such as I understand you have a concern. This buys you time. Do not disagree, counterattack, or blame, which may escalate the situation and harden the speaker’s position. • Paraphrase what was said. In your own words restate objectively what you are hearing. • Ask for more information if necessary. Clarify what is being said. Stay focused on the main idea rather than interjecting side issues. • Agree—if the comments are accurate. If an apology is in order, give it. Explain what you plan to do differently. If the criticism is on target, the sooner you agree, the more likely you will be able to engender respect from the other person.

•

• Learn what you can from workplace criticism to improve your performance on the job.

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•

Disagree respectfully and constructively—if you feel the comments are unfair. After hearing the criticism, you might say, May I tell you my perspective? Or you could try to solve the problem by saying, How can we improve this situation in a way you believe we can both accept? If the other person continues to criticize, say, I want to find a way to resolve your concern. When do you want to talk about it next? Look for a middle position. Search for a middle position or a compromise. Be genial even if you don’t like the person or the situation. Learn from criticism. Most work-related criticism is given with the best of intentions. You should welcome the opportunity to correct your mistakes and to learn from them. Responding positively and professionally to workplace criticism can help improve your job performance. As Winston Churchill said, “All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes.”5

Offering Constructive Criticism on the Job

Offering constructive criticism is easier if you plan what you will say, focus on improvement, offer to help, be specific, discuss the behavior and not the person, speak privately face-to-face, and avoid anger.

No one likes to receive criticism, and most of us don’t like to give it either. But in the workplace, cooperative endeavors demand feedback and evaluation. How are we doing on a project? What went well? What failed? How can we improve our efforts? Today’s workplace often involves team projects. As a team member, you will be called on to judge the work of others. In addition to working on teams, you can also expect to become a supervisor or manager one day. As such, you will need to evaluate subordinates. Good employees seek good feedback from their supervisors. They want and need timely, detailed observations about their work to reinforce what they do well and help them overcome weak spots. But making that feedback palatable and constructive is not always easy. Depending on your situation, you may find some or all of the following suggestions helpful when you must deliver constructive criticism: • Mentally outline your conversation. Think carefully about what you want to accomplish and what you will say. Find the right words and deliver them at the right time and in the right setting. • Generally, use face-to-face communication. Most constructive criticism is better delivered in person rather than in e-mail messages or memos. Personal feedback offers an opportunity for the listener to ask questions and give explanations. Occasionally, however, complex situations may require a different strategy. You might prefer to write out your opinions and deliver them by telephone or in writing. A written document enables you to organize your thoughts, include all the details, and be sure of keeping your cool. Remember, though, that written documents create permanent records—for better or worse.

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•

Focus on improvement. Instead of attacking, use language that offers alterna-

•

Offer to help. Criticism is accepted more readily if you volunteer to help in elim-

tive behavior. Use phrases such as Next time, you could . . . .

•

• • • •

• •

inating or solving the problem. Be specific. Instead of a vague assertion such as Your work is often late, be more specific: The specs on the Riverside job were due Thursday at 5 p.m., and you didn’t hand them in until Friday. Explain how the person’s performance jeopardized the entire project. Avoid broad generalizations. Don’t use words such as should, never, always, and other encompassing expressions as they may cause the listener to shut down and become defensive. Discuss the behavior, not the person. Instead of You seem to think you can come to work any time you want, focus on the behavior: Coming to work late means that we have to fill in with someone else until you arrive. Use the word we rather than you. We need to meet project deadlines is better than saying. You need to meet project deadlines. Emphasize organizational expectations rather than personal ones. Avoid sounding accusatory. Encourage two-way communication. Even if well-planned, criticism is still hard to deliver. It may surprise or hurt the feelings of the employee. Consider ending your message with, It can be hard to hear this type of feedback. If you would like to share your thoughts, I’m listening. Avoid anger, sarcasm, and a raised voice. Criticism is rarely constructive when tempers flare. Plan in advance what you will say and deliver it in low, controlled, and sincere tones. Keep it private. Offer praise in public; offer criticism in private. “Setting an example” through public criticism is never a wise management policy.

PLANNING AND PARTICIPATING IN PRODUCTIVE BUSINESS AND PROFESSIONAL MEETINGS

Because you can expect to attend many workplace meetings, learn to make them efficient, satisfying, and productive.

As businesses become more team oriented and management becomes more participatory, people are attending more meetings than ever. Despite heavy reliance on e-mail and the growing use of wireless devices to stay connected, meetings are still the most comfortable way to exchange information. Yet, many meetings are a waste of time. One survey showed that a quarter of U.S. workers would rather go to the dentist than attend a boring meeting.6 Regardless, meetings are here to stay. Our task, then, is to make them efficient, satisfying, and productive. Meetings consist of three or more individuals who gather to pool information, solicit feedback, clarify policy, seek consensus, and solve problems. For you, however, meetings have another important purpose. They represent opportunities. Because they are a prime tool for developing staff, they are career-critical. The inability to run an effective meeting can sink a career, warns The Wall Street Journal.7 The head of a leadership training firm echoed this warning when he said, “If you can’t orchestrate a meeting, you’re of little use to the corporation.”8 At meetings, judgments are formed and careers are made. Therefore, instead of treating meetings as thieves of your valuable time, try to see them as golden opportunities to demonstrate your leadership, communication, and problem-solving skills. So that you can make the most of these opportunities, here are techniques for planning and conducting successful meetings. You will also learn how to be a valuable meeting participant.

Before the Meeting Benjamin Franklin once said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”9 If you are in charge of a meeting, give yourself plenty of preparation time to guarantee the meeting’s success. Before the meeting, determine your purpose, decide how and where to meet, organize an agenda, decide who to invite, and prepare the meeting location and materials.

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DETERMINING YOUR PURPOSE Call meetings only when necessary, and invite only key people.

Before you do anything else, you must decide the purpose of your meeting and whether a meeting is even necessary. No meeting should be called unless the topic is important, can’t wait, and requires an exchange of ideas. If the flow of information is strictly one way and no immediate feedback will result, then don’t schedule a meeting. For example, if people are merely being advised or informed, send an e-mail, memo, or letter. Leave a telephone or voice mail message, but don’t call a costly meeting. Remember, the real expense of a meeting is the lost productivity of all the people attending. To decide whether the purpose of the meeting is valid, it’s a good idea to consult the key people who will be attending. Ask them what outcomes are desired and how to achieve those goals. This consultation also sets a collaborative tone and encourages full participation. DECIDING HOW AND WHERE TO MEET Once you’ve determined that a meeting is necessary, you must decide whether to meet face-to-face or virtually. If you decide to meet face-to-face, reserve a meeting room. If you decide to meet virtually, make any necessary advance arrangements for your voice conference, videoconference, or Web conference. These electronic tools will be discussed later in the chapter. ORGANIZING AN AGENDA

Before a meeting, pass out a meeting agenda showing topics to be discussed and other information.

Prepare an agenda of topics to be discussed during the meeting. Also include any reports or materials that participants should read in advance. For continuing groups, you might also include a copy of the minutes of the previous meeting. To keep meetings productive, limit the number of agenda items. Remember, the narrower the focus, the greater the chances for success. Consider putting items that will be completed quickly near the beginning of the agenda to give the group a sense of accomplishment. Save emotional topics for the end. You should distribute the agenda at least two days in advance of the meeting. A good agenda, as illustrated in Figure 11.1, covers the following information: • Date and place of meeting • Start time and end time • Brief description of each topic, in order of priority, including names of individuals who are responsible for performing some action • Proposed allotment of time for each topic • Any premeeting preparation expected of participants INVITING PARTICIPANTS

Problem-solving meetings should involve five or fewer people.

The number of meeting participants is determined by the purpose of the meeting, as shown in Figure 11.2. If the meeting purpose is motivational, such as an awards ceremony for sales reps of Mary Kay Cosmetics, then the number of participants is unlimited. But to make decisions, according to studies at 3M Corporation, the best number is five or fewer participants.10 Ideally, those attending should be people who will make the decision and people with information necessary to make the decision. Also attending should be people who will be responsible for implementing the decision and representatives of groups who will benefit from the decision. Let’s say, for example, that the CEO of sportswear manufacturer Timberland is strongly committed to community service. He wants his company to participate more fully in community service. So he might meet with managers, employee representatives, and community leaders to decide how his employees could volunteer to refurbish a school, build affordable housing, or volunteer at a clinic.11 PREPARING THE MEETING LOCATION AND MATERIALS If you’re meeting face-to-face, decide the layout of the room. To maximize collaboration and participation, try to arrange tables and chairs in a circle or a square so that all participants can see one another.12 Set up any presentation equipment that

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FIGURE 11.1

Typical Meeting Agenda

Developing Speaking and Technology Skills

AGENDA Quantum Travel International Staff Meeting October 13, 200x 1 to 2 p.m. Conference Room, Fifth Floor I. Call to order; roll call II. Approval of agenda III. Approval of minutes from previous meeting IV. Committee reports A. Web site update B. Tour packages V. Old business A. Equipment maintenance B. Client escrow accounts C. Internal newsletter VI. New business A. New accounts B. Pricing policy for trips VII. Announcements VIII. Chair’s summary, adjournment

Person

Proposed Time

Ben Robin

5 minutes 10 minutes

Debra Roya Jami

5 minutes 5 minutes 5 minutes

Suang Marcus

5 minutes 15 minutes

will be needed. Make copies of documents that will be handed out during the meeting. Arrange for refreshments.

During the Meeting Meetings can be less boring, more efficient, and more productive if leaders and participants recognize how to get the meeting started, move it along, handle conflict, and deal with dysfunctional participants. Whether you’re the meeting leader or a participant, it’s important to act professionally during the meeting. Figure 11.3 outlines etiquette tips for both meeting leaders and participants. Following are additional guidelines to adhere to during the meeting to guarantee its success. GETTING THE MEETING STARTED Start meetings on time and open with a brief introduction.

To avoid wasting time and irritating attendees, always start meetings on time—even if some participants are missing. Waiting for latecomers causes resentment and sets a bad precedent. For the same reasons, don’t give a quick recap to anyone who

FIGURE 11.2

Meeting Purpose and Number of Participants Purpose

Ideal Size

Intensive problem solving

5 or fewer

Problem identification

10 or fewer

Information reviews and presentations

30 or fewer

Motivational

Unlimited

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These graphic designers hold weekly meetings in their loft office to brainstorm ideas to share with their current and future clients. Business meetings give groups a chance to collaborate to solve problems, make decisions, and come up with creative ideas. Whether you’re meeting face-to-face or virtually, it’s important to prepare ahead of time, to show up on time, and to contribute positively during the meeting.

Meeting leaders and participants should follow professional meeting etiquette at all times.

arrives late. At the appointed time, open the meeting by having all participants introduce themselves if necessary. Then continue with a three- to five-minute introduction that includes the following: • Goal and length of the meeting • Background of topics or problems • Possible solutions and constraints • Tentative agenda • Ground rules to be followed

FIGURE 11.3

Etiquette Checklist for Meeting Leaders and Participants

Meeting Leader

Meeting Participants ✓ Arrive on time and stay until the meeting ends, unless you’ve made prior arrangements to arrive late or leave early.

✓ Leave the meeting only for breaks and emergencies. ✓ Come to the meeting prepared. ✓ Turn off cell phones and pagers. ✓ Follow the ground rules. ✓ If you’re on the agenda as a presenter, do not go over your allotted time.

✓ Do not exhibit nonverbal behavior that suggests you’re bored, frustrated, angry, or negative in any way.

✓ Do not interrupt others or cut anyone off. ✓ Make sure your comments, especially negative comments, ✓ Start and end the meeting on time. ✓ Introduce yourself and urge participants to introduce themselves. ✓ Make everyone feel welcome and valued. ✓ Maintain control of the group members and discussion. ✓ Make sure that everyone participates. ✓ Stick to the agenda. ✓ Encourage everyone to follow the ground rules. ✓ Schedule breaks for longer meetings.

are about ideas, not people.

✓ Listen carefully to what other meeting participants are saying.

✓ Participate fully. ✓ Do not go off on tangents; be sure that you stick to the topic being discussed.

✓ Do not engage in side conversations. ✓ Clean up after yourself when leaving the meeting. ✓ Complete any follow-up work that you’re assigned in a timely manner.

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A typical set of ground rules might include arriving on time, communicating openly, being supportive, listening carefully, participating fully, confronting conflict frankly, turning off cell phones and pagers, and following the agenda. Participants should also determine how decisions will be made. More formal groups follow parliamentary procedures based on Robert’s Rules of Order. After establishing basic ground rules, the leader should ask whether participants agree thus far. The next step is to assign one attendee to take minutes and one to act as a recorder. The recorder stands at a flipchart or whiteboard and lists the main ideas being discussed and agreements reached. MOVING THE MEETING ALONG

Keep the meeting moving by avoiding issues that sidetrack the group.

After the preliminaries, the leader should say as little as possible. Like a talk show host, an effective leader makes “sure that each panel member gets some air time while no one member steals the show.”13 Remember that the purpose of a meeting is to exchange views, not to hear one person, even the leader, do all the talking. If the group has one member who monopolizes, the leader might say, Thanks, Gary, for that perspective, but please hold your next point while we hear how Rachel would respond to that. This technique also encourages quieter participants to speak up. To avoid allowing digressions to sidetrack the group, try generating a “Parking Lot” list. This is a list of important but divergent issues that should be discussed at a later time. Another way to handle digressions is to say, Look, folks, we’re veering off track here. Let’s get back to the central issue of . . . . It’s important to adhere to the agenda and the time schedule. Equally important, when the group seems to have reached a consensus, is to summarize the group’s position and check to see whether everyone agrees. DEALING WITH CONFLICT

When a conflict develops between two members, allow each to make a complete case before the group.

Conflict is a normal part of every workplace. Although conflict may cause you to feel awkward and uneasy, conflict is not always negative. In fact, conflict in the workplace can even be desirable. When managed properly, conflict can improve decision making, clarify values, increase group cohesiveness, stimulate creativity, decrease tensions, and reduce dissatisfaction. Unresolved conflict, however, can destroy productivity and seriously reduce morale. In meetings, conflict typically develops when people feel unheard or misunderstood. If two people are in conflict, the best approach is to encourage each to make a complete case while group members give their full attention. Let each one question the other. Then, the leader should summarize what was said, and the group should offer comments. The group may modify a recommendation or suggest alternatives before reaching consensus on a direction to follow. You’ll find more suggestions for dealing with conflict in the Communication Workshop, “Eight Steps to Resolving Workplace Conflicts,” at the end of this chapter. HANDLING DYSFUNCTIONAL GROUP MEMBERS When individuals are performing in a dysfunctional role (such as blocking discussion, monopolizing the conversation, attacking other speakers, joking excessively, not paying attention, or withdrawing), they should be handled with care and tact. The following specific techniques can help a meeting leader control some group members and draw others out.14 • Lay down the rules in an opening statement. Give a specific overall summary of topics, time allotment, and expected behavior. Warn that speakers who digress will be interrupted.

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To control dysfunctional behavior, team leaders should establish rules and seat problem people strategically.

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Seat potentially dysfunctional members strategically. Experts suggest seating a difficult group member immediately next to the leader. It’s easier to bypass a person in this position. Make sure the person with dysfunctional behavior is not seated in a power point, such as at the end of table or across from the leader. Avoid direct eye contact. In American society direct eye contact is a nonverbal signal that encourages talking. Thus, when asking a question of the group, look only at those whom you wish to answer. Assign dysfunctional members specific tasks. Ask a potentially disruptive person, for example, to be the group recorder. Ask members to speak in a specific order. Ordering comments creates an artificial, rigid climate and should be done only when absolutely necessary. But such a regimen ensures that everyone gets a chance to participate. Interrupt monopolizers. If a difficult member dominates a discussion, wait for a pause and then break in. Summarize briefly the previous comments or ask someone else for an opinion. Encourage nontalkers. Give only positive feedback to the comments of reticent members. Ask them direct questions about which you know they have information or opinions. Give praise and encouragement to those who seem to need it, including the distracters, the monopolizers, the blockers, and the withdrawn.

Ending the Meeting and Following Up How do you know when to stop a meeting? Many factors determine when a meeting should be adjourned, including (1) when the original objectives have been accomplished, (2) when the group has reached an impasse, or (3) when the agreed-upon ending time occurs. To show respect for participants, the leader should be sure the meeting stops at the promised time. It may be necessary to table (postpone for another meeting) some unfinished agenda items. Concluding a meeting effectively helps participants recognize what was accomplished so that they feel that the meeting was worthwhile. Effective leaders perform a number of activities in ending a meeting and following up. CONCLUDING THE MEETING End the meeting with a summary of accomplishments and a review of action items; follow up by distributing meeting minutes and reminding participants of their assigned tasks.

When the agreed-upon stopping time arrives or when the objectives have been met, discussion should stop. The leader should summarize what has been decided and who is going to do what. Deadlines for action items should also be established. It may be necessary to ask people to volunteer to take responsibility for completing action items agreed to in the meeting. No one should leave the meeting without a full understanding of what was accomplished. One effective technique that encourages full participation is “once around the table.” Everyone is asked to summarize briefly his or her interpretation of what was decided and what happens next. Of course, this closure technique works best with smaller groups. An effective leader concludes by asking the group to set a time for the next meeting. The leader should also assure the group that a report will follow and thank participants for attending. Participants should vacate the meeting room once the meeting is over, especially if another group is waiting to enter. The room should be returned to a neat and orderly appearance. DISTRIBUTING MINUTES If minutes were taken during the meeting, they should be keyed in an appropriate format. You’ll find guidelines for preparing meeting minutes in Chapter 9. Minutes should be distributed within a couple of days after the meeting. Send the minutes to all meeting participants and to anyone else who needs to know what was accomplished and discussed during the meeting.

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COMPLETING ASSIGNED TASKS It is the leader’s responsibility to see that what was decided at the meeting is accomplished. The leader may need to call people to remind them of their assignments and also to volunteer to help them if necessary. Meeting participants should complete any assigned tasks by the agreed-upon deadline.

IMPROVING TELEPHONE, CELL PHONE, AND VOICE MAIL SKILLS For most businesses, telephones—both traditional and wireless—are a primary contact with the outside world.

Despite the heavy reliance on e-mail, the telephone is still an extremely important piece of equipment in offices. With the addition of today’s wireless technology, it doesn’t matter whether you are in or out of the office. You can always be reached by phone. As a business communicator, you can be more productive, efficient, and professional by following some simple suggestions. In this chapter we’ll focus on traditional telephone techniques as well as cell phone use and voice mail efficiency.

Making Telephone Calls Efficiently and Professionally You can make productive telephone calls by planning an agenda, identifying the purpose, being cheerful and accurate, being professional and courteous, and avoiding rambling.

Before making a telephone call, decide whether the intended call is really necessary. Could you find the information yourself? If you wait a while, would the problem resolve itself? Perhaps your message could be delivered more efficiently by some other means. Some companies have found that telephone calls are often less important than the work they interrupted. Alternatives to telephone calls include instant messaging, e-mail, memos, or calls to voice mail systems. If you must make a telephone call, consider using the following suggestions to make it fully productive: • Plan a mini-agenda. Have you ever been embarrassed when you had to make a second telephone call because you forgot an important item the first time? Before placing a call, jot down notes regarding all the topics you need to discuss. Following an agenda guarantees not only a complete call but also a quick one. You’ll be less likely to wander from the business at hand while rummaging through your mind trying to remember everything. • Use a three-point introduction. When placing a call, immediately (1) name the person you are calling, (2) identify yourself and your affiliation, and (3) give a brief explanation of your reason for calling. For example: May I speak to Jeremy Johnson? This is Paula Soltani of Coughlin and Associates, and I’m seeking information about a software program called ZoneAlarm Internet Security. This kind of introduction enables the receiving individual to respond immediately without asking further questions. • Be brisk if you are rushed. For business calls when your time is limited, avoid questions such as How are you? Instead, say, Lauren, I knew you’d be the only one who could answer these two questions for me. Another efficient strategy is to set a “contract” with the caller: Look, Lauren, I have only ten minutes, but I really wanted to get back to you. • Be cheerful and accurate. Let your voice show the same kind of animation that you radiate when you greet people in person. In your mind try to envision the individual answering the telephone. A smile can certainly affect the tone of your voice; therefore, even though the individual can’t see you, smile at that person. Speak with a tone that is enthusiastic, respectful, and attentive. Moreover, be accurate about what you say. Hang on a second; I’ll be right back rarely is true. It’s better to say, It may take me two or three minutes to get that information. Would you prefer to hold or have me call you back? • Be professional and courteous. Remember that you’re representing yourself and your company when you make phone calls. Use professional vocabulary and courteous language. Say thank you and please during your conversations. Don’t eat, drink, or chew gum while talking on the phone, which can often be heard

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on the other end. Articulate your words clearly so that the receiver can understand you. Avoid doing other work during the phone call so that you can focus entirely on the conversation. Bring it to a close. The responsibility for ending a call lies with the caller. This is sometimes difficult to do if the other person rambles on. You may need to use suggestive closing language, such as the following: (1) I’ve certainly enjoyed talking with you, (2) I’ve learned what I needed to know, and now I can proceed with my work, (3) Thanks for your help, (4) I must go now, but may I call you again in the future if I need . . .? or (5) Should we talk again in a few weeks? Avoid telephone tag. If you call someone who’s not in, ask when it would be best for you to call again. State that you will call at a specific time—and do it. If you ask a person to call you, give a time when you can be reached—and then be sure you are in at that time. Leave complete voice mail messages. Remember that there’s no rush when you leave a voice mail message. Always enunciate clearly. And be sure to provide a complete message, including your name, telephone number, and the time and date of your call. Explain your purpose so that the receiver can be ready with the required information when returning your call.

Receiving Telephone Calls Professionally

You can improve your telephone reception skills by identifying yourself, being responsive and helpful, and taking accurate messages.

With a little forethought you can project a professional image and make your telephone a productive, efficient work tool. Developing good telephone manners also reflects well on you and on your organization. • Answer promptly and courteously. Try to answer the phone on the first or second ring if possible. Smile as you pick up the phone. • Identify yourself immediately. In answering your telephone or someone else’s, provide your name, title or affiliation, and a greeting. For example, Juan Salinas, Digital Imaging Corporation. How may I help you? Force yourself to speak clearly and slowly. Remember that the caller may be unfamiliar with what you are saying and fail to recognize slurred syllables. • Be responsive and helpful. If you are in a support role, be sympathetic to callers’ needs and show that you understand their situations. Instead of I don’t know, try That’s a good question; let me investigate. Instead of We can’t do that, try That’s a tough one; let’s see what we can do. Avoid No at the beginning of a sentence. It sounds especially abrasive and displeasing because it suggests total rejection. • Be cautious when answering calls for others. Be courteous and helpful, but don’t give out confidential information. It’s better to say, She’s away from her desk or He’s out of the office than to report a colleague’s exact whereabouts. Also be tight lipped about sharing company information with strangers. Security experts insist that employees answering telephones must become guardians of company information.15 • Take messages carefully. Few things are as frustrating as receiving a potentially important phone message that is illegible. Repeat the spelling of names and verify telephone numbers. Write messages legibly and record their time and date. Promise to give the messages to intended recipients, but don’t guarantee return calls. • Leave the line respectfully. If you must put a call on hold, let the caller know and give an estimate of how long you expect the call to be on hold. Give the caller the option of holding. Say Would you prefer to hold, or would you like me to call you back? If the caller is on hold for a long period of time, check back periodically so that the caller doesn’t think that he or she has been forgotten or that the call has been disconnected. • Explain what you’re doing when transferring calls. Give a reason for transferring, and identify the extension to which you are directing the call in case the caller is disconnected.

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Cell phones are now used globally to help business communicators keep in touch with colleagues and clients, whether they’re in the office or on the road. U.S. businesspeople traveling abroad can purchase or lease global cell phones that allow worldwide roaming.16

Using Cell Phones for Business Cell phones are essential workplace communication tools, but they must be used without offending others.

Cell phones enable you to conduct business from virtually anywhere at any time. More than a plaything or a mere convenience, the cell phone has become an essential part of communication in today’s workplace. The U.S. government reported that in late 2004, for th

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